Pain in the grass

BBC Sport Online takes a look at the quirky stories doing the rounds in the build-up to the World Cup.

Pain in the grass

Wily old striker Teddy Sheringham has warned that the pitches in Japan and South Korea will not be to England's liking.

Sheringham, who has experience of playing in Japan with Manchester United, said the grass was much longer and thicker than in England.

The grass is slightly longer in Japan

"We will have to get into it very quickly," he stressed. "It will be a slower game and we will have to adapt. There won't be any nipping about, like the one-touch football in the Premier League.

"The grass makes the ball cling and be sticky, so we have to learn how it rolls. The pitch will suit the South Americans.

The words "leaves on the line" spring to mind.

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You talking to me?

Japanese fans and shopkeepers have been issued with pamphlets instructing them how to make England fans feel at home.

The booklets, sent out by the British Embassy in Tokyo, fold out to reveal the cross of St George.

They suggest greeting fans with the phrase: "Welcome, England are a great team".

They also provide a translation for "all you can drink" (nomihodai), but strangely none for "haven't you had enough?".

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Up in smoke

Nervous fans will be forced to go outside for a cigarette if the tension becomes too much during matches.

Toppmoller finishes another fag

Organisers are trying to make this the first tobacco-free World Cup, with smoking not allowed in any of the stadiums.

Fifa has also written to all 32 coaches, asking them to refrain from smoking on the touchline - although it admits it can't do anything to stop them.

Good job Klaus Toppmoller isn't in charge of a national team yet.

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No sex please

The Italian squad have had a sex ban imposed on them by coach Giovanni Trapattoni, in case it distracts them from the job in hand.

Trapattoni said: "I've been away training for big matches myself in the past and I know what goes on.

"I know what footballers think about, but there have to be rules and regulations, even when it comes to a matter as delicate as this."

Trapattoni's statement prompted the headline: "No Sex Please, We're Italian" - written in English - in the Corriere della Sera newspaper.

He responded by saying the players would have to "make up for lost time when they get back to Italy".

In other words, lock up your signorinas.