Caption Competition 219

Great Britain made the worst possible start in the doubles as the Austrians quickly wrapped up a four-set win. It was a dismal conclusion to the doubles for the British pair who now had to win their remaining singles matches.

Tim Henman won his singles match but Greg Rusedski lost, which meant that Great Britain were relegated from the elite Davis Cup World Group.

But what do you think is going on in the picture as they walk off the court after their doubles defeat?

This week's winning caption is:

Sorry I couldn't dive for that, Greg. Small print of the persil contract

Well done to Ed Duffy from Birmingham! A BBC Sport goodybag is on its way to you!

A new competition will be published on Monday

SAY WHAT YOU SEE

Greg does his usual Post match Homer Simpson impression as Tim, 'Millhouse', Henman watches on
Rob Wood, Warrington, UK

OUR FAVOURITE
" Tim: The next time you call the umpire a big girl, maybe you shouldn't be wearing a hairband yourself "
Dan, London, UK

I'm not taking the blame for this.If we stand really still, they'll all think we really are Dummies . . . then we can sneak home when it's dark, OK?
Don, Stockport, England

Tim's legs showed just how effective the Atkins diet could be. Greg's left breast didn't.
Dan, London, UK

The penguins on Tim's sleeves looked into his ears. 'Hard of herring'?
Dan, London, UK

'Greg.. do you reckon Andrex will sign me up now I've worn loo roll round my wrist all match?
James, Nottingham

Corr blimey Tim, I shouldn't have headed that last serve back
Peter Pucci, Los Angeles

Tim: Forget the tennis Greg, I've heard there are openings for Canadians in Formula One at the moment.
Gavin, London

Greg worries that his and Tim's wives are set to star in a new spin-off of Footballers Wives - Tennis Players Wives
John, Motherwell, Scotland

Greg wacks his head in frustration ruing the moment he turned down the Canadian team to play for the British.
Jimbo, London

I'm getting a funny feeling of de ja vous again Tim.
Jimbo, London

Tim It's my serve!!! My hands still stuck - quick get behind me and throw the ball up for me.
Chris Garrido, Newcastle upon Tyne

Y'know, we'd have a lot more success playing with whole racquets
Stephen Tucker, USA

Tim, if I've told you once, I've told you fifty times... stop looking at my... hey, you're doing it again!
Stephen Tucker, USA

You call that a performance, Greg? With one arm, I could have gone for gold in the Paralympics!
Rory M, Blackpool

Tim noticed Greg's top wasn't quite whiter than white
Ross Milne, Edinburgh

Henman regretted saying that he could beat the Austrians with one hand tied behind his back.
Tariq Sheikh, Essex

The shock tactic of Tim playing left handed, and Greg with one hand on his head, proves to be a failure
Mark Schofield, Upminster, Essex

The men's synchronised fashion parade gets off to a bad start as Rusedski wears the wrong costume
Tariq Sheikh, Essex

Rusedski suddenly realises why his head was hurting so much: he was wearing his armband as a headband.
Tariq Sheikh, Essex

Tim: "Greg, I told you that having long hair wouldn't make you play like Roger Federer"
Ryan Johnstone, Brighton, UK

Has your nosebleed stopped? All the grass has turned red now.
Valérie Ganne, Wales

Sorry, Greg, I couldn't concentrate on my game because I was wondering whether you really need to wear such long shorts
Marc Alexander, Penarth, Wales

Greg: "Sorry Tim, I'd have played better if my hand wasn't stuck to my head."
Mark Schofield, Upminster, Essex

I tell you, if I keep my hand here no one will notice I'm going bald
Brian H, Halesowen

Greg's long shorts experiment ends in failure
Gavin, Wales

The next time you call the umpire a big girl, maybe you shouldn't be wearing a hairband yourself
Dan, London, UK

Greg can't believe his last slice shot took Henman's left arm clean off
Jim Cochrane, Portsmouth

Greg knew if he thought hard enough, he'd be able to remember his mate's name, and what he was supposed to be doing there
Peter, Bristol, England

The slipping wig took Greg's mind off the match
Anthony Hart, Middlesbrough

PUN FUN

Losing to Austria? You're having a Canucking laugh...
Mike Gray, Liverpool

The hills are alive, with the sound of "Out"!
Paul Turner, Maryland, USA

Greg: Oh damn - I've just realised I left the oven on!
Trevor Seeley, Leamington Spa

OUR FAVOURITE
" Tim: When you suggested going out for a swift double, this isn't what I had in mind "
Steve S, Scotter, UK

Quick kneel down by the net, pretend we're 'Ball Boys' and we might not get blamed....
Don, Stockport, Cheshire, England, Europe, the World

Greg wonders where he put his P45.
Tariq Sheikh, Essex

Tim: "Someone shouted 'love' at you, Greg!" Greg: "I'll 'deuce' have to admit it - I heard you Tim!"
John, Motherwell, Scotland

Tim: Hey Greg, your hair's as bad as your tennis playing- sort it out!
,

Greg: My Canadian roots prefer ice over clay.
Stephen Tucker, USA

Greg couldn't get the Royal Teens classic out of his head. "We like short shorts...."
Ross Milne, Edinburgh

Henman:"When you suggested going out for a swift double, this isn't what I had in mind".
Steve S, Scotter,UK

Henman:"Your out Greg. I said touch your head, not Simon says touch your head!"
Steve S, Scotter,UK

Look mate focus on the Tennis net and stop worrying about your hair net and we might do better!
Don, In a little place of my own

All this yodelling Tim, it's just giving me a headache
Jason Kilby, UK

...your head hurts, one more game like that and you'll hurt somewhere else, until they surgically remove your racket!!
Don, Great Britain - honest!

1-0, 2-0, 3-0, four-gone conclusion...
Adrian Wade, Canada

Britons have the Vienna-sniffles.
Chris White, Welwyn Garden City, England

Tim ' It's alright Greg, I said new balls not new bald!
Andy Dunne, Ireland

Yes your bald patch does show! But it's not as obvious as your bad patch of form!
Don, England

Greg "Bruised-head-ski"...
Adrian Wade, Canada

"I was saying your misses were bad; not that your Mrs. was bad!"
Tariq Sheikh, Essex

Strings can only get better
Tony Fearon, N Ireland

You're supposed to wear shorts Greg, not cricket trousers. No wonder that's our third slip!
Dan, London, UK

I can understand you're having a headache with all this racket going on
Rob Falconer, Wales

The cream of British tennis turn into double clots.
Anthony Hart, Middlesbrough

There again, what you lose on the swings, you lose on the roundabouts
Rob Falconer, Wales

Did I put you off saying your name is an anagram of Rude Kiss?
Anthony Hart, Smoggyland

Doubles create hangover.
Anthony Hart, Middlesbrough

Greg was careful not to let success go to his head.
Anthony Hart, Middlesbrough

"Oh....sorry Tim, now I've got my long, flowing feminine hair...I just love it when the umpire calls out love to us"
Neil, South Yorks

Greg soon gets a headache with all that racquet going on
Jim Cochrane, Portsmouth

We were more Wombledon than Wimbledon.
Anthony Hart, Middlesbrough

Greg: but I just can't believe it Tim: I promise, it really was butter
Jim Cochrane, Portsmouth

Goodnight Vienna.
Anthony Hart, Middlesbrough

SUR-REALLY GREAT

OUR FAVOURITE
" Rusedski hides his shame as he spots Trinny and Susannah in the crowd "
Tariq Sheikh, Essex

Thank God that that the Caption Comp is closed, now no-one else can take the p***
Don, England

Having lost in the Davis Cup, Rusedski and Henman visit a nearby Renaissance festival for a human chess match instead
Paul Turner, Maryland, USA

Come on, Greg, surely you must remember which section of the car park we're in?
Paul Turner, Maryland, USA

A horrible premonition of things to come as Greg and Tim disconsolately trudge from the Sahara Desert after losing in the Euro-Africa Group.
Dave Bright, Kent

New Beagle probe scans mars in a search for intelligent life...results come back negative
Michael Mabbitt, Canada...or is it England?

After their performance in the Davis Cup Greg and Tim are cast in the new Laurel & Hardy film!!
Simon White, UK

Debating the finer points of quantum teleportation did however distract Greg and Tim from their game.
Phil, Japan

NASA rover confirms life on the red planet...
Sue Wade, Canada

Rusedski hides his shame as he spots Trinny and Susannah in the crowd.
Tariq Sheikh, Essex

In a fit of rage, Tim uses his secret laser vision to create a bald patch on Greg's head.
Mark Schofield, Essex

Tim wins the game of Simon Says.
Joseph Haig, UK

The crowd hailed the Chuckle Brothers of tennis.
Anthony Hart, Middlesbrough

The Phantom Headband Thief strikes again
Huw Williams, Wales

Henman: "Now try rubbing your stomach at the same time, Greg!"
Gavin, Wales

Playing on Mars, the GB Davis Cup team failed to create an atmosphere
Dan, London, UK

TOTALLY TOPICAL TASTE

What do you mean Murray should have played, he's only a kid. You'd never catch Fergie throwing a youngster in for his debut in Europe, it just wouldn't work, would it ?
Paul Butcher, Suffolk, UK

Tim: "I hear they've picked Paul Bettany to play the next singles rubber."
David Lester, Leighton Buzzard

OUR FAVOURITE
"After Batman and Spiderman, Fathers 4 Justice wreck Rusedki's chances by masquerading as Henman "
Marc Alexander, Penarth, Wales

Both Leeds United and The GB Davis cup team have proved that you just can't win in white!
Nick Bryans, Brighton

This Florida court was green the day before the hurricane hit.
Paul Turner, Maryland, USA

Right Tim now that they think we are completely rubbish and we have successfully lulled them into a false sense of security. Shall we try and win a game?
George D'Arcy, Upminster

Out-takes from the film Wimbledon prove that Kirsten Dunst used a body double for action scenes
Martin Hextall, Nottingham

Tim: I blame our punishing schedule.
Greg: Yes that and the fact that we are rubbish at tennis.
Mark Tiernan, England

Greg cannot believe that Beckham's penalty miss is still considered topical by the caption competition judges.
Joseph Haig, UK

Tim; 'I'm sure those vitamin supplements aren't supposed to give you a headache'
Greg; 'How many times have I got to tell you .....they weren't supplements'
Nigel, Cambridge

Greg: Austrians? I thought we lost to the Australians.
Tim: We lost to them, too.
Stephen Tucker, USA

Tim and Greg are paying for Andrew Murray's big mouth; they are playing all the great British sportsman of the last 10 years!
Sarah L, UK

Greg is shown in pain after being hit in the head when Beckham's howler finally landed.
Jason, San Diego

The Americans poor performance in the Ryder Cup is further shown by one of their wayward shots landing on Greg's head
Ryan Johnstone, Brighton, UK

Tim: "Greg, quickly do your Anders Frisk-impression, and they might rule it as a 3-0 win for us!"
"Rene Bach", Leeds

After Batman and Spiderman, Fathers 4 Justice wreck Rusedski's chances by masquerading as Henman
Marc Alexander, Penarth, Wales

"Oh no, I'll not be able to spend my heard earned UK pounds and pennies in the Euro-Africa zone.
John, Motherwell, Scotland

MISCELLANEOUS

Tim: "What do you mean you had a few drinks with Sue Barker...."
Peter N., Ashford, UK

Greg, for crying out loud, that's the netball court.
Dan, London, UK

OUR FAVOURITE
" Tim: Lob him, not rob him. Now give him his wig back"
James Evans, Singapore

"Sorry I couldn't dive for that, Greg. Small print of the Persil contract."
Ed Duffy, Brum

Tim: 'Hey Greg, I think Jeremy Bates has gone mad. He keeps shouting 'Chocolate teapots' at us.'
Stu Mandry, Droitwich Spa, England

"I hear McDonalds are looking for employment"
Robert Luxford, London

Oh I hate those pigeons
Adi, Hong Kong

Aaaaahh! I forgot to set the VCR to tape Big Brother tonight!
Paul Turner, Maryland, USA

"Don't worry Greg" says Henman, "There's always Wimbledon......"
Nick Bryans, Brighton

Anyone for Badminton?
Nick Bryans, Brighton

Now where did I put my Teach Yourself Tennis book?
Marc Alexander, Penarth, Wales

Greg: That autograph hunter thought I was Boris Becker!
Tim: I had one who thought I was Tim Henman. Hey, wait a minute...
Adrian Wade, Canada

Same kit, same birthday, same result!
Chris White, Welwyn Garden City, England

It's OK Greg, I'm sure you can find a distant Swiss relative if you search hard enough.
Chris White, Welwyn Garden City, England

Tim: lob him, not rob him. Now give him his wig back.
James Evans, Singapore

Tim I think I left the oven on.
Danny Rankine, Bellshill, North Lanarkshire

Are you sure it's Jeremy Bates? I called him Norman!
Adrian Wade, Canada

Not tonight Tim, I've got a headache.
Max, UK

I think the horns are growing back again
Valérie Ganne, Wales

Greg: "Oh no I remember putting a black sock in with my tennis whites laundry"
Tim: " Not to worry you wont be needing them again"
Dave Richman, Bracknell

"Lets see: It goes 'Heads, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes'"
Rob Outterson, York, UK

"Tim, don't you think I should star with you in the next Ariel ad...after all, maybe it's ME that needs the free tennis lesson."
John, Motherwell, Scotland

Actually, I'm not used to playing on hot coals
Valérie Ganne, Wales

Tim to Greg: "I'm British. What's your excuse?"
Stuart Heather, Clitheroe

Couldn't you just have a haircut?
Dan, London, UK

Henman: "And if you miss another one it'll be twice as hard!"
Brian Barnard, Felixstowe

Rusedski regrets returning service with a header.
Anthony Hart, Middlesbrough

Rusedski finally realised that he was supposed to hit the ball away from the other player
Darren Astley, Aberystwyth

You've forgotten how to play?
Rob Falconer, Wales

Well, you're not supposed to head the ruddy ball
Marc Alexander, Penarth, Wales

...one more game like that and you'll get another slap, now go to your room!!
Don, Third planet from the sun!

Oh no I forgot to cancel my haircut appointment
Bob's your uncle, Essex

Tim to Greg: "Do you play any other games?"
The Wingnut, Cardiff

Greg: D'OH!!!
The Wingnut, Cardiff

God........I wish I'd remained a Canadian
Huw Williams, Wales

And we can't blame it on Sir Cliff's singing this time
Marc Alexander, Penarth, Wales

"Don't worry Greg! Get yourself in a T.V advert and it doesn't matter where she goes with your credit card."
Reshad Sergeant, Oxford

Do you think that grass would grow if we water this surface?
Bob Watson, Ware, England

Greg: "Oh my God, I've forgotten which Lucy I'm married to!"
Reshad Sergeant, Oxford

Damn! I left the iron on....
Jim Cochrane, Portsmouth

"Really Greg, an Alice band of all things!"
Reshad Sergeant, Oxford

CAP COMP CLASSICS

OUR FAVOURITE
" Big bird strikes from above "
Stephen Tucker, USA

Big Bird strikes from above.
Stephen Tucker, USA

Cap comp editors in dismay after being told that Finland is located slightly to the east of Sweden (and not, as they had supposed, in outer space) and is therefore eligible for cap comp contributions
John Lewis, Finland

Tim: I hear next week's caption will involve the Mascot Grand National. Greg: Why do they like mascots so much?
Stephen Tucker, USA

Eros from caption comp 213 claims another victim!
Ryan Johnstone, Brighton, UK

If I keep my hand up here, they won't notice I'm Leslie Nielsen!
Stephen Tucker, USA

Looks like Big Bird is overhead
Jim Cochrane, Portsmouth

"I told that guy in caption 213 to be careful with that bow and arrow or he'd have someone's eye out!"
Tony Fearon, N Ireland

After David Beckham in Caption 216, further proof that inclusion in the caption competition induces headaches
Tony Fearon, N Ireland

Yet another attempt at the YMCA ends in failure.
Rob Outterson, York, UK

"Duck?"
"No it was Big Bird!"
Bruce of the Jungle, DR Congo

Both fall victim to the superglue prank, forcing Greg to play with his hand on his head, and Tim left-handed.
Mark Schofield, Essex

Well Greg at least I didn't get any superglue on my hand
Keith Holmes, Liverpool

Superglue, superglue, superglue
Gary Walker, Wolverhampton, UK

Greg: this photo I saw was so funny! Sven was just standing there and Beckham had his hands like this....
Jim Cochrane, Portsmouth

So the Austrians used the old superglue to the hand trick again
Bob Watson, Ware, England

We might have won if someone hadn't switched superglue for your scalp massage oil
Marc Alexander, Penarth, Wales

MISTAKEN IDENTITY

OUR FAVOURITE
" Even Tim is taken by surprise as Jonathon Woss sneaks on to court "
Graham, Scotland

Even Tim is taken by surprise as Jonathan Woss sneaks on to court.
Graham, Scotland

John Kerry quickly puts his hairdo back on.
Paul Turner, Maryland, USA

Henman realises getting David Beckham in to save the match was a foolhardy decision.
Stuart Cavanagh, Apsley, UK

Tim: From this angle I reckon you look like Will Young.
Reshad Sergeant, Oxford

REGULARS' BANTER

The lengths some people go to for the privilege of appearing on the Cap Comp...
Gavin, London

OUR FAVOURITE
" Never mind, we can still try to win the BBC Sport goody bag! "
Gavin, Wales

Greg: They NEVER publish my entries.
Tim: That's because you aren't funny.
Stephen Tucker, USA

Henman and Rusedski bemoan Si for not laying a grass court on the yacht!
Sarah L, UK

"I'm sorry Mr Griffin, sir. I just cannot remember where I left your yacht!"
Rob Outterson, York, UK

And if this lands us in the caption comp we're finished,
Anthony Hart, Middlesbrough

"Greg, do you no what they are going on about with his Si Griffin and yacht thing? I mean, it's like every week and I just look at it and wonder what they know that I don't."
Reshad Sergeant, Oxford

"Never mind, we can still try to win the BBC Sport goody bag!"
Gavin, Wales