High Graphics Version Front Page | Results/Fixtures | Football | Cricket | Rugby Union | Rugby League | Tennis | Golf | Motorsport | Boxing | Athletics | Other Sports | Sports Talk | In Depth | Photo Galleries | Audio/Video | TV & Radio | BBC Pundits | Funny Old Game |
Funny Old Game Contents:

BBC Sport Online: Funny Old Game


Tuesday, 27 February, 2001, 18:14 GMT

Handy tips for sportsmen



David Beckham
Scientists believe they have finally put their finger on what it takes to make an exceptional athlete. BBC Sport Online's Chris Charles explores this exciting new breakthrough.

Forget fitness, disregard determination and laugh in the face of natural ability.

No, the key to being a truly great sportsman is all to do with how long your ring finger is.

Experts from the University of Liverpool claim the longer the digit, the better the sportsman....and they have proof to back up their theory.

The researchers found footballers like Sir Stanley Matthews, Alan Shearer and Paul Gascoigne all had above average sized ring fingers.


Michael Jordan
Dr John Manning, from the School of Biological Sciences, explained: "There is evidence that our fingers tell us how much of the male hormone testosterone we have been exposed to before birth.

"It is known that men with long ring fingers compared with their index fingers are highly masculined before birth.

"Early exposure to testosterone is important in males for the formation of the heart and determining ability in spatial judgement."

So now you know.

But how is this going to change scouting procedures as they look to uncover the new David Beckham, Linford Christie or Lawrence Dallaglio?

Sicknote


Joe Di Maggio
Imagine the scene as little Johnny leaves the field after scoring a glorious double hat-trick in the school cup final.

He is greeted by a swarm of eager scouts, only for one to notice his stubby little hands and declare: "Sorry son, you're not gonna make the grade."

Meanwhile, the pasty, games-shy child in the corner reaches in his pocket to pull out a well-worn sicknote and is immediately pounced upon by the Arsenal representative.

"Let me have a look at those digits, sunshine. Flipping 'eck, that's the best left peg I've seen since Liam Brady. Right, you're coming with me."

It could reshape the face of sport as we know it.


Liam Brady
Mothers and fathers keen to take early retirement could help speed up the process by investing in a finger rack.

A few stretches a day and you've got an instant genetically-modified young sportsman. All that remains then is give up work, take a 50% cut of his inflated salary and settle into a life of luxury.

The finger boffins have not yet decided whether their theory applies to women as well, but imagine the possibilities if it did.

The girl who did the Yellow Pages advert would be Olympic champion at everything for the next 20 years.


Related to this story:
Beckham is England captain (27 Feb 01 | Football)

High Graphics Version Front Page | Results/Fixtures | Football | Cricket | Rugby Union | Rugby League | Tennis | Golf | Motorsport | Boxing | Athletics | Other Sports | Sports Talk | In Depth | Photo Galleries | Audio/Video | TV & Radio | BBC Pundits | Funny Old Game |
Funny Old Game Contents: