Danny Gabbidon admits he feared he may never play football again during his 18-month injury nightmare.
The Wales and West Ham defender has not played since January 2008, suffering with a complicated abdominal problem.
Gabbidon had surgery to save his career and he will now return for pre-season training with West Ham on Monday.
"You do get down and wonder when you're going to get back. But you have to stay positive as negative thoughts don't help," said the 29-year-old.
Gabbidon's career has been consistently plagued by foot, heel, groin and thigh injuries but when fit, the former Cardiff City star is a classy defender that has proven his worth for both club and country.
The 40-times capped Welshman was honoured as West Ham's Player of the Year in his first season at Upton Park in 2005/2006.
While Wales manager John Toshack hails Gabbidon and fellow Hammers centre-back James Collins as the national side's "nerve centre" - but Gabbidon hasn't represented his country since their heroic goalless draw in Germany in November 2007.
Gabbidon suffered his injury in January 2008, playing his last first-team game against Everton in the League Cup on 12 December 2007 before a reserve team outing at Portsmouth on 23 January 2008.
The injury was initially not thought to be long-term but he missed the rest of that season as well as the whole of the 2008/2009 campaign.
"Obviously you do get days where you are doing the same work all of the time and wondering if you're getting anywhere - and some days you just don't want to do it"
Gabbidon returned from his injury frustration to take part in training sessions with the Hammers squad before joining his Wales team-mates for training at the end of last season.
He admitted: "That was a really big boost at the end of what has been my hardest time in football.
"Obviously you do get days where you are doing the same work all of the time and wondering if you're getting anywhere - and some days you just don't want to do it.
"My wife has bore the brunt of my frustrations when I used to come home from training miserable and she and my family are the ones who have been there to support and encourage me.
"The players have been great, too. They were all happy to see me back out training at the end of last season, which was nice.
"And the manager keeps asking me when am I coming back so hopefully that will be soon.
"I've had a good physios and medics at West Ham who have worked hard and remained positive.
"But it is tough not being able to do the job that you love and something you take for granted when you're playing regularly.
"What I've gone through makes you stronger mentally as I've been out for a very long time.
"When you see your team-mates playing you want to be out there so it makes you more determined to get back out there with your mates. The experience has made me love the game more."
606: DEBATEGabbidon played in a ceremonial friendly to open Cardiff City's new stadium on Saturday as he lined-up for Lennie Lawrence's all-stars in their 3-1 friendly win with an Eddie May all-star team.
"My boots are a bit tight as they haven't been worn for so long," Gabbidon joked to BBC Radio Wales afterwards.
"It's great to have a run out with some old mates before pre-season starts on Monday.
"I'm fit and ready for pre-season and hopefully I'll make a few appearances for West Ham and Wales this season."
Gabbidon now hopes to play in West Ham's first pre-season friendly at Grays on 12 July, more than a month before their Premier League opener at Wolverhampton Wanderers on 15 August.
The Cwmbran-born player then hopes to win his 41st Welsh cap in their friendly in Montenegro on 12 August.
"I'll be back for the start of the season, fingers crossed," concluded Gabbidon.
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