Caption Competition 203

Here's Sting, the Wasps rugby union team mascot, buzzing with pride as he swoops to victory in the Sport Relief Derby at Epsom.

The nifty insect left his furry friends trailing in his wake to win the charity race.

Sid the Shark from the Sussex Sharks cricket team led all the way until he tripped over his fin to hand victory to Sting.

What is going through the bug-eyed sprinter's mind as he crosses the winning line?

This week's winner, Stephen Tucker from the USA had us rolling in the aisles with this winning entry:

Sting wins the Amputee Mascot Decathlon for the fifth straight year

A new cap comp will be published on Monday

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SAY WHAT YOU SEE

Due to a genetic disorder Sting's wings allowed him to fly away with victory.
Tariq Sheikh, Essex

And the London Marathon runs on, and on, and on...
Tom Copeland, Brum

OUR FAVOURITE Race safe to go ahead after Giant Crocodile falls asleep on the horizon Super Skim Ox, Highworth

Autopsy reveals that Sting the bee had in fact swallowed a fully grown man.
Steve S, Scotter, UK

I warned that bee about carrying his darts in his trouser pockets!
Bobby, N.Ireland

Honey, I shrunk the rest of the contestants.
Andrew, London, UK

Disaster strikes as top racer gets two cue balls in the eyes.
Jack, London, UK

Races safe to go ahead after Giant Crocodile falls asleep on the horizon.
Super Skim Ox, Highworth

Unfortunately, Sting was trying to walk the tight-rope at the time.
Andrew Wade, Canada

Oh no! Someone's swapped the ribbon for a bungee rope!
Will Stoner, Rugby School

Sting thinks to himself..."Every summer it's the same, a big eye flies into my insect."
Stuart Cavanagh, Apsley, UK

I hate it when you get toilet paper stuck in your knickers!
Sharmaine Kruijver, Australia

Stewards enquiry is called as the riderless Jet of Vapona thwarts Sting in the last stride.
Super Skim Ox, Highworth

The placement of the finishing tape caused an eye-bulging reaction from the winner and great concern from the R.S.P.C.A
Stuart Cavanagh, Apsley, UK

Aaaargh! Who put this sheet of glass here?
Colin Starkey, London, UK

Sting tripped Sid and knocked out the front teeth of Dave the Dog to insure his victory.
Stephen Tucker, USA

Sting's celebrations turned to embarrassment when he suddenly realised he had tucked some toilet roll into his pants just before the start of the race.
Mark Tiernan, England

Stings mission is accomplished having stung the second placed dog in the leg.
Jack Davies, Wales

Me winning? No, actually I'm running away from that frizzy blonde with the big fly swatter...
Adrian Wade, Canada

Look mum, I can pee in two directions at once!
Nick Brett, Swindon

Sting distracts crowd from the fact that Jordan is sunbathing just in front of the trees
Curly, Barnet

There had to be a stewards enquiry after the race as the hugely over sized wasp beat the hugely undersized bear, shark et al
Phil Lloyd-Bushell, England

Sting's mother had warned him many times "if the wind changes, your face will stay like that"
Anthony Fisher, Weston-s-Mare

D'you know, Sting has exactly the same expression as all the other wasps who've hit my windscreen
Marc Alexander, Penarth

Sting regretted it, but had to go home early, as his wife was waiting to get her bra back
Marc Alexander, Penarth

After winning the 'Mascot Derby' 'Sting' does his impression of Frankie Dettori's flying dismount.
Simon Manning, England

Not only did Sting win the race, but he also won the angling competition: here he proudly indicates the size of his catch
Nick Fowler, UK

When the streaker appeared, Sting's eyes popped out and Sid fell over.
Josie Jones, Coventry

Tow spectators decide it will be funny to trip up Sting using a long piece of string.
Charlie T, Rugby

Sting takes advantage of his ability to fly.
Charlie T, Rugby

Stewards Enquiry is called as mascot flies to the finishing line
Dave Regan, Southport

Revolutionary pest control system proves effective as large bee encounters giant flypaper at Epsom
Tony Fearon, N Ireland

Dressing in the same colours as traffic wardens is giving wasps a bad name
Rob Falconer, Wales

PUN FUN

"Fly me away from here, this lot are bugging me!"
Derrick Smith, Northampton

Caption Competition 203. "Well I'll Bee! Victory snatched from the defeat of Jaws!"
Patrick Flynn, UK

OUR FAVOURITE Sting when you're winning, you only sting when you're winning? Nick B, London

Well who did you expect to win at the Der(bee) meeting!!
Andy, Glossop

Sting makes a bee-line for the finish line.
Tariq Sheikh, Essex

"Every little Sting he does is magic!"
Dave Regan, Southport

Sid looked on the brightside - "Fins can only get better," he affirmed.
Mark Tiernan, England

Fins ain't what they used to be!
Marc Alexander, Penarth

"Hive never felt such a buzz at beeing first!"
Mandy Keay, Montrose, Scotland

The wasp won even though he had hives!
Ollie B, Southampton

Although Bertie Bassett was favourite to win Sting shows it takes allsorts.
Super Skim Ox, Highworth

"All is lost! We must flea! F-L-E-A flea!"
Anirban Mukhopadhyay, New York

Despite winning, Sting was still depressed and later committed insecticide
Rob Falconer, Wales

Sting was happy, moments earlier he'd been in a bit of a jam!
Ollie B, Southampton

Sting was hurrying in order to get to a post-box to send off his application for a Nectar card
Marc Alexander, Penarth

It's a floato finish!
Nick B, London

Sting when you're winning, you only sting when you're winning....
Nick B, London

`Good fin that Shark fell over cos' now I'm buzzin`
Ian Barrett, Wisbech

Kids, I shrunk the honey!
Nick Fowler, UK

Derby shock- bee team wins!
Nick B, London

Following fresh allegations of corruption, the jockey club launches a "sting" operation.
Simon, Hitchin

I've won, I just cannot bee-lieve it.
Carole Sullivan, Wales

Sting shows his stripes.
Andrew Wade, Canada

Hive won!
Martyn Wellbourn, Warwick

Sting in the tail for Sid the Shark!!
Mat Dexter, Sheffield

I was a wanna-bee, now I'm a winna-wasp.
RD, Liverpool

Bee afraid, bee very afraid.
Chris White, Welwyn Garden City, England

Wasp wins two-horse race.
Mark Tiernan, England

Yippee! First prize! A week in Pollenesia!
Adrian Wade, Canada

He flies like a butterfly: Stings like a wasp!
Phil, Japan

Honey, I'm home!
Curly, Barnet

Sting performs his latest release at Epsom "I'm flying without wings"
Martin Hextall, England

There was a real Sting in the tail of this year's Derby
Ross Milne, Edinburgh

Stop laughing there is a human BEEing in that suit!!
Mat Dexter, UK

Bee. Wasp. Drone. All buzzwords.
Marc Alexander, Penarth

Finishing first gave me a real buzz
Phil Kirkham, Bracknell

A beeline to the finish line
Gary Walker, UK

Would you bee-lieve it? Wasps win the title again!
Stuart, Fareham

Stop hissing Sid, you knew there was a Sting on your tail
Chris Saunders, Bedfordshire

Sting is 'walking on the moon' after winning a bad tempered race. The Police had earlier told him to 'beehive' himself
Paul Eastwood, Derbyshire

I'm on such a buzz, I'll win the play-off as well!
John Morant, Hereford

As Sting sees a pot of strawberry jam at the finishing line he just manages to 'pip' Sid to the line!
Stuart, Fareham

There's the fin line between winning and losing.
Andrew, London, UK

Sting made a bee-line for the finishing-post
Nick Fowler, UK

Sting clearly runs better than he sings!
Rob Falconer, Wales

Sting had unfortunately had garlic for lunch, hence the saying "Float like a butterfly, stink like a bee."
Rob Falconer, Wales

SUR-REALLY GREAT

The process of learning to fly was hampered somewhat by the people attempting mummification at the same time.
Demelza Tuxford, Cambridge

A group of residents from the "Rehabilitation Centre for people who dress up in furry costumes and parade at sporting events". Invaded the course at Epsom. They were protesting against the denial by the government that the condition was caused by "over exposure to cuddly toys."
David Dibb, UK

OUR FAVOURITE Sting wins the Amputee Mascot Decathlon for the fifth straight year Stephen Tucker, USA

The Spice Girls reunion proved that they hadn't changed a bit
Dan, London

I said we should never have let Walt Disney sponsor the Derby
Rob Falconer, Wales

Mistreated, neglected mascots make a farcical escape attempt from their clubs.
Rob Henderson, Co. Durham, UK

The 'David Blaine' levitating wasp, always went down well at parties.
Steve S, UK

Sting wins the Amputee Mascot Decathalon for the fifth straight year.
Stephen Tucker, USA

Sting prepares to celebrate - will it be the Klinsmann dive or the full Robbie Keane?
Graham, Glasgow

Due to space constraints, Noah implemented a new strategy for animal selection.
Ian Todd, Cheltenham

Despite his hyper-sensitive thyroid gland, Sting the bee decided to risk the second can of Red Bull.
James Wiffen, Chelmsford, Essex

The Jockey Club is to raise concerns over the use of GM crops in types of horsefeed.
Peter N, Ashford, UK

Anaphylactic shock as wasp wins 2.30 Bees Novice hurdle
Curly, Barnet

Sting gets caught in one of Jodie Marsh's 'skirts'
Mark Horwood, Byfleet, Surrey

TOTALLY TOPICAL TASTE

Movie critics were unimpressed with the special effects on the up-coming Jurassic Park movie.
Raymond Li, Manchester

The ex Leicester now Birmingham player - Buzzy 'Asit - wins!
Trevor Sanders, Chatham

OUR FAVOURITE Wasps do the Treble! Sarah L, UK

Third day of the test match sees the usual rush at the bar.
Andrew, London, UK

After his triumph in the Derbee, Sting was off to Royal Mascot whilst the rest of the field headed to the Ark.
Simon, Hitchin

Reports surfaced that drug-testing was to be relaxed during Euro 2004
Neill, Carshalton, Surrey

Following successful take over, new Marks & Spencer Chief unveils new clothing range that will hopefully attract customers back!!
Derek Lyttle, Milngavie, Scotland

Michael Jackson's new look fooled no one...
Dan, London, UK

English Soccer Hooligans will go to any lengths to hide their identities and gain entry to Europe for Euro 2004.
Derek Lyttle, Milngavie, Scotland

Sting is even more happy when he discovers the prize is to be J-Lo's next husband.
Sarah L, UK

Marion Jones' victory in the Athens Olympics 100m only heightened concerns about her alleged use of illegal supplements
John Lewis, Finland

Dwain Chambers's determination to continue in competitive running had to be admired.
Steve, Beesinstoke

Chambers wins his come-back race and denies drug use has had any long term effects on him.
Russell Hutton, Clifton, Beds

The long-term effects of using steroids were clear to see at the USA's 100m Olympic qualifiers
Simon, UK

Wasps do the treble!
Sarah L, UK

England Players are put through their final paces prior to jetting off to Euro 2004.
Derek Lyttle, Milngavie, Scotland

Suggestions that North Light should undergo a drugs test after his Derby win were completely unfounded.
Chris White, Welwyn Garden City, England

In a desperate attempt to win the derby, questions are raised over Frankie Dettori's chosen ride.
Charlie T, Rugby

Sport Relief Organisers admit that the inclusion of limbo dancing at Epsom in their events programme was not a good idea!
Tony Fearon, N Ireland

The IAAF moves swiftly to deny that athletics is facing yet another doping scandal.
Andrew, London, UK

The lengths Frankie Dettori will go to win the Derby.
Graham, Glasgow

MISCELLANEOUS

Unfortunately it was later revealed that Sting had been taking a banned substance - sugar.
Nick Fowler, UK

The Sussex Sharks were sure they would have won if their mascot had been Harry the Horse
Rob Falconer, Wales

OUR FAVOURITE The authorities still deny that there was a leak of radioactive material at a nearby research facility David Dibb, UK

After being stripped of the winners medal, Sting appealed to the judges, claiming there was nothing in the rulebook about stinging contestants on the way round.
Robert Harris, Pucklechurch, England

Sadly for Sting, the finishline was actually made of elastic - seconds later he flew back over to the start line.
Jack, London, UK

He flew like a butterfly and stung like a.......... very angry wasp in late summer.
Andy G, UK

BBC Mobile Camera Van staff confirm old joke about what is the last thing to go through an insect's mind when it hits your windscreen.
Martin Mills, Morpeth

Only fools on courses
Dave Regan, Southport

Sting thinks "Ha!! Who looks silly now!!"
Tara, Coventry

Just off stage right, the lizard's tongue spied lunch.
Ollie B, Southampton

"Damn this sticky paper!" he muttered to himself.
Neill, Carshalton, Surrey

The drug inspectors had a field day after this race.
Rob Morris, UK

Seconds before victory, Sting is shot in the back by The Eagle. He never stung again.
Jack, London, UK

The authorities still deny that there was a leak of radioactive material at a nearby research facility.
David Dibb, UK

Here today at Epsom,
It's the race of the mascots.
We're doing it here,
Cos they won't let us at Ascot.
Nick Fowler, UK

Minutes later, Sting was banned from the course for exploding all their inflatable chairs.
Nick Fowler, UK

Breeders deny allegations of genetic modification after controversial derby win.
Simon, Hitchin

Few could have predicted the race being stopped by a stray Andrex puppy.
Gerry Slawson, UK

If only the bloke in the Andrex puppy outfit had run in a straight line he would have won
Jim Cochrane, Portsmouth

Not shown: Giant honey jar.
Andrew Wade, Canada

Go, go my animal minions! Wreak havoc on their precious city in my name! Muahahaha!!!
Andrew Wade, Canada

Sting admits that it was being chased by a man with a rolled up newspaper that spurred him on to victory.
Stu, Scottish Borders

Mindful of Shergar's fate, Sting waves frantically for increased security!
Tony Fearon, N Ireland

Sid the Shark immediately challenged Sting to a rematch, this time underwater.
Mark Tiernan, England

Sting can't help looking when Rachel Stevens runs the Sport Relief mile in her bikini.
Gavin, Wales

This guy wrote "Roxanne"?
Stephen Tucker, USA

Sting crossed the line only to be told that World Cup Willy had finished first 38 years ago!
Chris White, Welwyn Garden City, England

The sound of thundering hooves indicated Sting's joy at winning was to be cruelly short-lived...
Phil, Japan

And yet, only seconds after his moment of victory, Sting was swatted by an onlooker
Rob Falconer, Wales

Hey, don't tear the flypaper. I was just reading that!
Rob Falconer, Wales

Is there nothing Sting won't do to avoid playing a gig in the North East these days?
Martin Mills, Morpeth

The bee was flying until the fly paper stopped him in his tracks!
Mat Dexter, UK

The new brand 'Fly-Paper' was tested with all manner of animals.
Mark Horwood, Byfleet, Surrey

Sting was close to winning until the Andrex dog ran across the field to trip him up
Neal Berridge, Nottingham

Sid the Shark decides he'll trip himself up to avoid the embarrassment of winning!
Charlie T, Rugby

All competitors required to take drugs test after Olympic 100m qualifier.
Joseph Haig, UK

Just yards from the line, Sting's celebrations are cut short by the Andrex puppy.
Graham, Glasgow

Arrrggghhh! Fly Paper!
Adrian Wade, Canada, usually...

The Wasps' victory was largely due to their strategy of putting the cake tent by the finishing-line
Marc Alexander, Penarth

Sting was enjoying his day off from being a traffic warden
Nick Fowler, UK

Andrex Puppy causes havoc by running across the track in front of Sting!!
Derek Lyttle, Milngavie, Scotland

Thinking it was the real Derby, alcoholic Fred Durham vowed to give up drink for ever.
Rob Falconer, Wales

The guy inside the Sting costume had just noticed a girl he knew and wanted to pollinate
Marc Alexander, Penarth

CAP COMP CLASSICS

Run for your lives! There's a tidal wave of custard coming this way!
Krupskaya, Russia

Sweet-toothed Sting had only entered the Marathon because he thought the prize was a Snickers bar ... or perhaps some Opal Fruits
Marc Alexander, Penarth

OUR FAVOURITE Big Bird has a nasty accident with a bucket of tar Joseph Haig, UK

Mascot is temporarily blinded after running face-first into Nell McAndrew's missing bra...
Diana Dewar, Canada

Further down the track, the Arsenal Dinosaur is disqualified for stealing David James' Tonka Go Cart and crashing into the crowd.
Matthew Booth, Hong Kong

It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A ...
Joseph Haig, UK

Michael Owen having got the taste for victory in the Sardinia under-11s go-kart challenge, now wins the Sport Relief Derby at Epsom in a wasp suit.
Mark Tiernan, England

So this is what Rover from Cap Comp 196 was warming up for!
Stephen Tucker, USA

Damn, someone's superglued the tape.
Gary Walker, UK

Big Bird has a nasty accident with a bucket of tar.
Joseph Haig, UK

Thierry Henry decides it's his turn to wear a suit.
Charlie T, Rugby

Even at his age, Leslie Nielsen could still outrun his rivals
Nick Fowler, UK

With a few licks of black paint, Big Bird could go anywhere incognito
Marc Alexander, Penarth

MISTAKEN IDENTITY

Marty Feldman look-a-like fails in 2ft high jump attempt.
Bobby, N.Ireland

Once again Blobby had fallen asleep on the sunbed.
Gerry Slawson, UK

OUR FAVOURITE Marty Feldman look-a-like fails in 2ft high jump attempt Bobby, N Ireland

Sting's singing career went sharply downhill after his full-body plastic surgery.
Matt F, Uppingham

Sting the Bee puts in a flying finish to beat Manchester United's Luke Chadwick into second place
Martin Hextall, England

After They Were Famous: Jimminy Cricket
Rob Henderson, Co. Durham, UK

He certainly has changed since his days as lead singer of the Police
Howard Warren, UK

Even in his new job, there was no disguising Gazza's sheer physical presence...
Nick Brett, Swindon, England

Lester Piggot finds novel way of confusing the taxman!
Tony Fearon, N Ireland

REGULARS' BANTER

The Cap Comp editors often dreamed of sporting prowess...
Tom Copeland, Brum

What Cap Comp editors do in their free time.
Matthew Booth, Hong Kong

OUR FAVOURITE BBC bosses to provide therapy for caption competition organisers who have started to display a bizarre fascination for men dressed up in costumes Suzi, Scotland

In Ascot, a mascot came to grief,
All in aid of Sport Relief.
Sid the Shark, with toothy grin,
Tripped upon a wayward fin.
Upon the grass he did spreadeagle,
(Odd place for a Sussex porbeagle)
Beaten by Sting and a Yogi Bear,
He lost his chance for a place so rare,
In the annals of international acclaim...
The BBC Cap Comp Hall of Fame!
Adrian Wade, Canada

Caption comp judge makes a beeline for the camera.
Nicola Chisholm, UK

BBC bosses to provide therapy for caption competition organisers who have started to display a bizarre fascination for men dressed up in costumes.
Suzi, Scotland

UnBeelieveable! The Cap Comp has been updated twice in one day!
Stephen Tucker, USA

Si Griffin was not having much luck in getting the animals to board his yacht two by two.
Chris White, Welwyn Garden City, England

Sting catches sight of the Cap Comp Goody Bag
Phil Kirkham, Bracknell