Caption Competition 216

This weeks cap comp shows England captain David Beckham holding his head in his hands after a chat with coach Sven-Goran Eriksson.

Eriksson pulled Beckham to one side for a quick tête-à-tête ahead of England's match with Austria but left his skipper rubbing his eyes.

What do you think is going on? Is stern Sven making Becks blub? Or has the Madrid man just got a bit of grit in his eye?

Thanks for all those rib-ticklers - This week's winner is *cue drumroll* ..............Darren Farr of the UK, who enlightened us with this caption:

Sven knew there was no point rushing during the game of Hide'n' seek as David would never be able to count to 10 anyway

Well done Darren, a BBC goody bag will be on its way to you!

A new cap comp will be published on Monday

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SAY WHAT YOU SEE

Sven was playing fast and Loos with squad selections, which alamed Becks.
Kenneth Gustafsson, Finland

Sven is less than impressed with Becks new penalty run-up technique.
Chris Hewitson, Newcastle, England

Becks attempts to protect himself from the oncoming cloud of harmful dark green gas.
Jack Davies, Wales

It doesn't work David. I can still see you.
Jason Kilby, UK

"How am I ever going to live this down Sven? Victoria always tells me never to wear white socks - I can't believe I put yours on by mistake. You can certainly tell Nancy isn't packing your suitcase anymore!"
Neil, England

David can't believe his eyes that Sven has tried the 'Something about Mary' hairstyle
Keith Holmes, Liverpool, UK

OUR FAVOURITE The beam of Sven's head was just too much for Becks' eyes Rob Tindell, England

Boss, I think some of your wig just blew off and landed in my eye
Craig Warner, Brit in the USA

David: "Sven please change the angle of your glasses it's killing my eyes".
Jack Davies, Wales

The beam of Sven's head was just too much for Becks' eyes
Rob Tindell, England

David, the in-flight movie wasn't that scary so you can take your hands away now.
Simon Tiernan, Sale

Becks: "I'm sorry Boss. I just put my tracksuit bottoms in the wash, and they came out like this!"
Dave Regan, England

Sven explains to David why you shouldn't try to head balls on the golf course.
Colin Starkey, UK

David: "I'm not listening! I'm not listening!"
Sven: "David those are your eyes"
Jack Davies, Wales

Beckham acts out charade of "Eyes Wide Shut" for Sven.
Anthony Hart, Middlesbrough, UK

Beckham was reduced to tears by Sven's impression of David James in goal!
Rich Powell, UK

Sven's high philosophy made David's head hurt.
Sarah L, UK

Beckham can't believe Sven stole his hairdo!
Stephen Tucker, USA

The same people that stole Sven's hands have pinched Beckham's face.
Bean, Scotland

Sven still didn't grasp the basic rules of hide and seek.
Jack Davies, Wales

This is a classical David James pose - only vertical.
"René Bach", Luxembourg

Sorry, David, you're out, I didn't say "Simple Simon says put your hands on your face"
Jim Cochrane, England

Sven tells Beckham they've spelt his new tattoo incorrectly
Dave Richman, UK

David couldn't look when he noticed someone had pinched Sven's hand!!
Simon White, UK

"Poke me in the eye if I'm not the best lover in the land"
Richard Wilkinson, UK

Ok Sven I cover my eyes like this and count to ten and you go and hide
William McRobb, Scotland

Sven: You know I said I'd chop off my arm and poke out your eyes if we didn't beat Austria
Stephen Thomas, UK

Sven: Just keep rubbing and the static electricity will do the rest
Stephen Thomas, UK

Bad hair day Sven!
Luke Stanton, Shropshire

Sven knew there was no point rushing during the game of Hide 'n' Seek as David would never be able to count to 10 anyway.
Darren Farr, England

No Becks that's wrong, you need to cover them completely. Do you need James to show you again?
Andy Simpson, UK

"David, if you want to do shadow puppets you need to move your head."
Reshad Sergeant, London

Beckham fails to get his surprise from Sven as he can't work out how to close his eyes AND hold his hands out
Jim Cochrane, England

Becks cries as Sven plays his "I have no arm" trick on him
Sharon B, Poole, Dorset

Becks and Sven can't believe their eyes, when they see there's a tree in the middle of the pitch at the Ernst Hhappel stadium in Vienna!
Tony Fearon, N Ireland

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the sexiest of them all? Why is he always standing there when I take my hands away??
Chris White, Welwyn Garden City, England

No Sven you can't have Posh's mobile no - now drop it - you're doing my head in!
Andy Dunne, Ireland

Sven decides to make 'Hide and Seek' a little easier for Becks
Nick Fowler, UK

Sorry about this, Sven, but I've just had my eyelids tattoo'd
Clare Falconer, Llandough, Wales

Beckham finds his hiding trick works on Brooklyn but not on Sven.....
Andy Dunne, Ireland

"Well Johnny Wilkinson has a stupid stance before he takes penalties."
Stephen Thomas, UK

And then Wenger covers his eyes like this and he doesn't see the incident! Bingo!
Mark Horwood, Addlestone, Surrey

You too should have gone to Specsavers.
Simon, Hitchin

David: "Sven, are you sure this will help my penalty taking?"
Nick Koudas, Greece

When it came to "Hide and Seek", David always had a friend on hand to count to 100 for him.
Simon, Hitchin

I'm staying.
Phil Lloyd-Bushell, England

Beckham took time out from his training for a spot of 'peek-a-boo' with the coach.
James Wiffen, Chelmsford, Essex

Beckham felt somewhat responsible for Sven's new hairstyle.
James Wiffen, Chelmsford, Essex

PUN FUN

Sven: I need to pull you to one side for a quick tête-à-tête. Becks: Not now Sven I'm trying to stay in Victoria's good books.
Mark Tiernan, England

Sven: Have you seen Rebecca lately. Becks: Shhh... Loos talk costs wives.
Mark Tiernan, England

"No David. I said lie down, close your eyes and think of England!!"
Tariq Sheikh, England

"Right let's play Hide and Seek! 1, 2....er...what comes after that Sven?"
Tariq Sheikh, England

We're going to have to sack you, David. That's eight matches and your socks aren't even dirty.
Rob Falconer, Wales

OUR FAVOURITE No David, I said I need you to play a blinder... Nick B, London

And that David, is what I see from the dugout!
Bob Watson, Ware England

Beckham: Why are we discussing Tictacs, I thought we were playing Polo?
Super Skim Ox, Highworth

No, no David. I said I am in the palm of your hand.
Alan Gernon, Australia

'Dry your eyes mate, I knows it's hard when you Loos but there's plenty more fish in the sea,' rapped Sven.
RD, Liverpool

That's not quite what I mean when I say hand-eye co-ordination, David.
RD, Liverpool

No David, I said I need you to play a blinder.....
Nick B, London

"Ah, sorry Sven, when you said about being cautious while playing away, I thought you meant with Victoria!"
Rob Harris, England

"Ok, Sven so you want to see a much better game from me? How about this one... I spy with my little eye.."
Rob Harris, England

"Boss, I said when you had to hit the nail on the head, I didn't mean you had to do it literally!"
John, Motherwell, Scotland

Sven: Why did you miss the pre-match press conference David?
Becks: I was in the Loos.
Mark Tiernan, England

David, when I said I was 'losing my grip', I didn't mean my assistant had been sacked!
Rory P, Harrogate (no longer Hawick)

David realises he was mistaken in sending Posh to Sydney for Saturday's match.
Stephen Thomas, UK

David soon regretted calling Sven a Nancy boy
Jim Cochrane, England

Hide it like Beckham!
Andy Dunne, Ireland

Sven: "It's not about your penalty taking skills. If the baby is a girl, it will be Miss Beckham!"
Dave Regan, England

"Sven, we can't take this picture, David James is missing"
"It's OK David, we're all getting used to that"
Chris White, Welwyn Garden City, England

Doh!
Nick Koudas, Greece

SUR-REALLY GREAT

The re-enactment of the infamous 'Luke, I am your father' scene from 'Star Wars' always had the rest of the England squad in stitches.
Raymond Li, Manchester, UK

In a quiet moment, captain and coach practise 'Heads and shoulders, knees and toes'.
Stu, Scottish Borders

Beckham fails magic eye picture test when Sven tells him it is Mark Lawrenson.
Beckham: Are you sure it's not Charles Bronson?
Super Skim Ox, Highworth

Daddy Sven is telling his beloved son Becks to practise the 'someone from the crowd flicked a rubber band in my eye' posture, if he misses a pen this evening against the Poles
Av, England

OUR FAVOURITE Sven: i did tell you to use the waterproof mascara Lucienne Young, England

Sven: I did tell you to use the waterproof mascara.
Lucienne Young, England

As the Pope beatifies Saint Sven, his halo finally arrives
Marc Alexander, Penarth, UK

Beckham rubs his eyes in disbelief as he sees one of the Coneheads
Stuart, Fareham, UK

A tearful Beckham takes it hard when Sven tells him that the Ski lift isn't open this time of year.
Super Skim Ox, Highworth

The headless ghost of English success replaced it when a Scandinavian was overheard saying "Alas poor Yorick".
Hywelg, Wales

David Beckham was traumatized when hearing from a defiant Sven that due to Wayne Rooney's absence, the team burger van had been re-routed to Manchester
Bobby Amirahmadi, England

Sven uses transference so that Becks can feel the headache he caused him in Portugal
Paul Turner, Maryland, USA

Sven: If you squint through one eye. My hair will look just like Mount Everest.
Gary Walker, UK

The England Coach explains the technicalities of the new BUNNY RABBIT approach to penalty taking.
Sandeep Makwana, Mbale, Uganda (Middlesex, England)

Becks prepares to pull the old eyeballs-on-springs joke on Sven.
Marc Alexander, Penarth, UK

Crucial PR training with guru Sven, lesson 79.
Beckham perfects his reaction to yet another penalty miss.
Andy Dunne, Ireland

Sven - ok David you can look, the Changing Rooms team have left now!
Andy Dunne, Ireland

To the Swedes, hide and seek seemed a strange game
Martin Theobald, England

Becks: I think I've left a knife in the fork drawer at home.
Mark Tiernan, England

New FIFA ruling allows national coaches to issue Fixed Penalty Notices.
Richard Wilkinson, UK

TOTALLY TOPICAL TASTE

See no evil, hear no evil and definitely speak no evil
Bruno Deani, England

That is such a sad story Sven.So that's how you pull all those women.You use the sympathy vote!
Lowri Mainwaring, Wales

It was so funny Sven, me and Gary just did this when the press were asking questions!
Andy Brimelow, UK

Now Sven I've counted to fifty now I'll look for someone who will say something nice about us!
Bob Watson, Ware England

Becks learns of Sir Bobby's sacking and wishes he'd been more specific when wishing "that funny old man" would be fired.
Stephen Tucker, USA

OUR FAVOURITE I'm trying Sven, I'm really trying but I just can't picture you with England in 2008 Pete, Netherlands

I'm trying Sven, I'm really trying but I just can't picture you with England in 2008
Pete, Netherlands

David can't believe that people entering the cap comp are still talking about the penalty
Adi, Hong Kong

Becks' impression of Faria Alam in TV interview failed to amuse Eriksson.
Kenneth Gustafsson, Finland

After Matthew Pinsent's Olympic performance, footballers get more coaching on how to display excessive emotion.
Bart, UK

David: "I knew I should have replied to Faria's texts."
Keith Dudhnath, UK

Yes, I VILL be playing James in goal again for ze Poland match."
John Lewis, Finland

David Beckham can't believe it when his penalty finally lands and hits him on the head
Robert Luxford, London

David fails to see the funny side of Sven's joke about probably being the father of Victoria's third child!
Martin Rose, Newcastle, England

Sven: "I know it's hard to believe, but apparently the ball from your penalty miss has just started its descent!"
Dave Regan, England

Sven: This golf course is where you can get all of these high kicks out of your system... and by the way the hole is 280 yds away... well within your range.
Chris A, Houston, Texas

"Sven, you've got to help me, I'm gonna be a dad again, and I'm dreading now what this one's going to be called"!
John, Motherwell, Scotland

"Oh Sven, I've heard about Newcastle - after Saturday, I know how they feel!"
John, Motherwell, Scotland

Now this is how I want you to take all your future penalty kicks . . .
Paul Turner, Maryland, USA

Stop crying David, I can't give you your ball back, we still don't know where your penalty landed!
Sharon B, Poole, Dorset

"So boss, David James went to put his head in his hands, like this, after the game and missed!"
Eamon Goodfellow, UK

Let's pack it in Sven. We're never going to find the ball from my penalty in Portugal
Tony Fearon, N Ireland

Sven gently breaks the news that Becks can't appear on Junior Mastermind.
Richard Wilkinson, UK

Mystic Beckham holds his head in anguish as he foresees David James' blunder when England are leading against Austria!
Derek Lyttle, Scotland

Eriksson regretted making the joke about Johnny Wilkinson teaching Beckham how to kick a ball
Martin Theobald, England

Oh no! Sven, tell me it's not true! You haven't picked David James in goal for Wednesday night!
Tony Fearon, N Ireland

Beckham to Sven - I've got it. If we look like blowing it, we can call Berti Vogts and he can have the floodlights put out!!
Derek Lyttle, Scotland

I cant sleep boss! Every time I close my eyes I see it going over the bar!! Arrghh!
Phil Lindoe, UK "Miss another bloody penalty and I'll poke the other one out as well"
Peter, England

MISCELLANEOUS

It suddenly dawns on Becks that he's forgotten to set the video for Eastenders.
Raymond Li, Manchester, UK

Oh David, I am sorry. I thought you knew Father Christmas didn't really exist.
Steve Y, Engerland

Wun.. too.. free.. twelfty.. forfty.. thrifty.. coming, ready or not!
Gavin, England

David: Ohmygod Sven, this time we were in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch when she conceived!"
Ennill Corri, United Kingdom

You must tell Victoria she can't name your next baby Golden Balls II
Frances Heaton, United Kingdom

Admit it, you don't know what a tête-à-tête is, David
Marc Alexander, Penarth, UK

"... And the bloody registrar reckons that Buster Troublewick Munchie Wunchie Winkies won't fit on the birth certificate."
Richard Wilkinson, UK

OUR FAVOURITE David: Ohmygod Sven, this time we were in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch when she conceived! Ennill Corri, United Kingdom

The blind leading the blonde.
Phil, Japan

Sven fails to see the funny side in David's game of peek-a-boo.
Rob Tindell, England

The morning after, David begins to regret having 'Sack Sven' tattooed on his forehead.
JJ, UK

Look, I promise you can have the next go on the Playstation after Michael Owen. Now blow your nose.
Colin Starkey, UK

"Where's David...? Peepo!"
Si Griffin, UK

"Oh no, I left me mascara in Madrid!"
John Lewis, Finland

Maybe if I close my eyes long enough, he'll turn into Sir Alex??
Joe Kap, USA

'No, I'm a Swede, you're the turnip'. Beckham got the punchline wrong again
Peter Fosse, Australia

Sven: I spy with my little eye something beginning with G.
Beckham: Um, er, erm, no, give up.
Super Skim Ox, Highworth

Sven tells Becks he missed a spot when shaving his legs.
Stephen Tucker, USA

Optician: "Okay from the top of the card."
Patient:
"P
E N
a l t y
p r a c t i c e."
Richard Wilkinson, UK

"Okay open your eyes, like I told you the new national stadium has no goal posts... and... NO penalty spots!"
Richard Wilkinson, UK

Sven takes lessons in management from Alex Ferguson (football boot just out of shot).
Matt Laker, United Kingdom

"Look boss, strip me of the captaincy, put me on the bench but please stop whistling Spice Girls songs"
Tom, Lancs

Becks: "Does my bum look big in this?"
Sven: "For sure."
David Paine, England

Sven: "Sorry David. I didn't kick the boot at you deliberately!" (smirk)
Michael Griffiths, England

David, I've been sacked . . . and Victoria's coming with me.
Paul Turner, Maryland, USA

Sven: Ooh I wonder where David is?
Luke Stanton, Shropshire

Sven: "Come on David, Victoria doesn't look that bad today."
Richard Critchlow, United Kingdom

OK, now cover the left eye and read the bottom line
Nick Fowler, UK

...and then he kicked the boot (sob sob) and it hit me in the eye and it really hurt! (sob sob)
Rob Henderson, Co Durham, UK

David is upset by injury worries in the England camp, mainly that David James isn't injured.
Richard Renton, England

"And can you read the line underneath?"
Neil Meaton, England

"I know, David, it's very sad Bambi's mum died, but we've got a game to train for"
Neil Meaton, England

Crying worked for Gazza, why not try it David?
Nick Young, England

Don't cry David, I am sure Victoria won't be releasing another single
Sharon B, Poole, Dorset

Becks: "Tell me again, what's the best thing to say when caught having an affair?"
Dave Regan, England

If you don't play Gary & Phil I'll scweem and scweem and scweem
Andy Dunne, Ireland

Beckham in tears as Sven informs him that sarong or no sarong, he just doesn't fancy him.
Chris White, Welwyn Garden City, England

...and next time we see a pretty girl we'll just do this and keep on walking!"
Damo, UK

David fondly recalls Sir Alex's shoe-throwing, after Sven's punch got him right in the eye...
Nick Koudas, Greece

David and Sven discuss playing away from home.
Mark Tiernan, England

CAP COMP CLASSICS

I told you not to mess around with other girls, David. Now Victoria's superglued your contact lenses.
Rob Falconer, Wales

Maybe you should get your eyes tested if you can't tell the difference between Optrex and superglue
Nick Fowler, UK

Beckham cries because by Tuesday there had been no mention of Big Bird, Si's yacht, Leslie Nielsen, or poor Sir Bobby in the Cap Comp.
Stephen Tucker, USA

Boo hoo! The Canadians have stolen my blue kite!
Darren Farr, Billericay

Becks, it's your turn in the mascot suit tonight!
Mark Gillespie, USA

Is some of that super glue that I asked you to put on the goalie's gloves still on your hands?
Simon Tiernan, Sale

OUR FAVOURITE Beckham cries because by Tuesday there had been no mention of Big Bird, Si's yacht, Leslie Nielsen, or poor Sir Bobby in the cap Comp Stephen Tucker, USA

Sven looks on has David gets Eros' arrow from caption comp 213 in his forehead
Ryan Johnstone, Brighton, UK

Superglue strikes again.
Sarah L, UK

Okay, where's the last place you remember having your mascot costume for this week's Cap Comp?
Paul Turner, Maryland, USA

No, no, no! The YMCA goes like this...
Paul Turner, Maryland, USA

Beckham's penalty ball is still missing but the destination of Cupid's arrow from Caption Comp 213 has turned up!
Tony Fearon, N Ireland

"It's no good snivelling... you won't get a mention in the cap comp until you've had zillions of girlfriends."
Richard Wilkinson, UK

Sven looked a bit flustered when he realised that he had put superglue on the wrong David's hands.
Anthony Atkinson, Preston, UK

David: "Come on you guys. This isn't funny anymore."
Sven: ("I can't believe he fell for the old superglue gag")
Nick Koudas, Greece

Sven " I told you not to put that glue on your hand!"
Simon White, UK

MISTAKEN IDENTITY

David Beckham is upset to discover Sven is leaving to rejoin his old mate Eddie in 'Little and Large'.
Gavin, Wales

David Beckham talks to his spiritual advisor, Obi Wan Kenobi
Nick Fowler, UK

In a time of aging SuperHeroes, Beckham is amazed to have finally met Tin Tin...
Adrian Wade, Canada

Beckham rubs his eyes in disbelief because not only is Mr Burns real but he's England coach too.
RD, Liverpool

Dick Cheney has no problem coming out of his undisclosed location into the sunlight, but his Secret Service guard does.
Paul Turner, Maryland, USA

Mr Burn's gave Smithers a routine Eye-Test every morning.
Mark Horwood, Addlestone, Surrey

OUR FAVOURITE

Sid Little takes over the England coaching role

Chris White, Welwyn Garden City, England/CPS:NAME> Dr Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker experiment with the diamond formation, with the usual hilarious consequences.
Darren Farr, England

Sid Little takes over the England coaching role.
Chris White, Welwyn Garden City, England

REGULARS' BANTER

Actually, I did win last week's BBC Sport goody bag, Sven, and all it contained was one of Victoria's CDs
Rob Falconer, Wales

Don't worry. BBC Sport didn't choose my caption last week either.
Marc Alexander, Penarth, UK

David learns that he features in Caption Comp 216.
Anthony Hart, Middlesbrough, UK

OUR FAVOURITE Actually I did win last week's BBC Sport goody bag, Sven, and all it contained was one of Victoria's CDs Nick B, London

Pull yourself together David! Jim Cochrane from Portsmouth's entry was much funnier than yours
Phil Kirkham, Bracknell

Beckham cannot believe he's been dropped for Mark Tiernan
Jim Cochrane, England

David can't hold back the tears after Sven tells him he hasn't won the goody bag.
Jim Cochrane, England

Beckham rubs his eyes in disbelief as a Cap comp is published on a Monday morning!
Chris White, Welwyn Garden City, England