The infamous Geordie Dancer goes through his routine before kick-off in the Premiership clash between Newcastle and Middlesbrough at St James' Park.
His antics may have traumatised the Newcastle team who struggled against their north-east rivals before Craig Bellamy and Alan Shearer earned them a 2-1 victory in the second half.
Adrian Wade from Canada sums up the feelings of a confused nation with this witticism.
'Tyne and Weird'
Brilliant work Mr Wade the goody bag is heading your way as we speak.
Fear not Cap Compers those who didn't win this week will have another chance of glory when our new competition goes up on Monday at 1300GMT.
SAY WHAT YOU SEE
...then he scores a penalty past Kasey Keller.
Sarah L,
UK
How come American teams have got sexy young cheerleaders, and all we've got is 'im?
Rob Falconer, Wales
Newcastles new signing was in fact a reject from Thunderbirds.
Lloyd Carter, Chelmsford, Essex
The Geordie dancer's mouth shrivels up after eating a lemon.
Howard Warren, UK
 |
OUR FAVOURITE
It started off as Swan lake but he ended up doing The Nutcracker
Raphus Cucullatus, Mauritius
|
Im not at all impressed with this levitation gubbins.
If you look closely he's sat on a stick.
simon hodgson,
england
The trials for Alan Shearer's long term replacement were not going well.
simon hodgson,
england
Too much Newcastle Brown can result in seeing large yellow blobs before the eyes
Nicola Chisholm, UK
Float-fishing like you've never seen before!
Andrew Wade,
Canada
On display: the new remote yellow card for diving.
Anthony,
Oxford, UK
'Karate Kid' is still a popular film in Newcastle.
Anthony,
Oxford, UK
Dancing fever had become an epidemic.
Andrew,
Canada
As Cupid's arrow found its mark the Geordie Dancer knew that however hard he tried to resist he was about to be French-kissed by a lemon.
Nick Pont, UK
Half fan, half business kit.
Martin Mills,
Morpeth
He had never seen a cheese-on-a-stick that big, and didn't know whether to eat it or kick it.
Lee Jennings, UK
The Teeside crowd took offence and started throwing big yellow balls
Matt H, Imperial College London
Everyone told him he'd be stuck like that if the wind changed.
Dave Griffin, Bath
Skipping along merrily, the fan was tempted off the pitch by using a large sherbet fizz ball.
Raphus Cucullatus, Mauritius
It started off as Swan lake but he ended up doing The Nutcracker.
Raphus Cucullatus, Mauritius
Suddenly, the young Geordie understood the old Sherlock Holmes joke about "A lemon entry, Watson."
Rob Falconer, Wales
Most of the crowd was a little upset that the river-dancing display wasn't actually taking part in the river
Nick Fowler, UK
PUN FUN
New signing, ex-Man Utd player - Geordie Cruyff.
Raphus cucullatus,
Mauritius
Loon army!
mark tiernan,
nottingham, england
Huge Lemon seen floating above St James' Park pitch. Police say he's no danger to the public.
Martin Mills, Morpeth
Newkie Broon. It gives you springs.
Martin Mills,
Morpeth
Whistle a hoppy Toon!
Nick B,
london
Blimey, it's a yellow ball, cock....
John Lewis,
Finland
Can, Can, - Can`t
Hywel G,
Machen
On realising he'd forgotten half his football strip he soon felt a right lemon.
Nicola Chihsolm, UK
Tyne and Weird
Adrian Wade,
Canada, usually...
Once Lua-Lua's call, Now La-La's ball!
Rob Bloodworth,
Brackley, Northants
I said we wanted a lap-dancer, not a crap dancer!
Clare Falconer,
Llandough, Wales
Newcastle's defence has been wooden all season
Ian Davies,
UK
Geordie the Teeside Slayer!
James Wiffen,
Chelmsford, Essex
As his legs crumpled and the young lad called for first aid, only a lemon aid was forthcoming
Clare Falconer, Llandough, Wales
SUR-REALLY GREAT
Sherbet Lemon 1-Fan 0
ribrash,
merseyside
One of Newcastle's specially-trained anti-terrorist archers managed to shoot down the lemon fizz bomb before it could do any harm
Rob Falconer, Wales
Fan-toon-stic!
Luke O'Neill,
Portsmouth, England
Clark kent was rushed off the field by the Invisible Man and his Pokemon
Steve Buttercase, St Ives, Cambs
Following the alien crafts mission to find intelligent life on earth, they return home disappointed.
Rob Morris, UK
Luckily the Invsible Man was on hand to perform the heimlich manoeuvre to stop the Geordie Dancer chocking on his sherbert lemon.
Max, Reading
Yoda had had enough of his pupil's cheek and levitated him along with the ball to teach the young Geordi Knight a lesson.
Martin Mills, Morpeth
A shadow is cast on the dancer's sanity after he is seen riding an invisible motorbike.
Howard Warren, UK
This picture is upside-down: the ball is playing keepy-uppy with his human toy.
Stephen Tucker, USA
Man sized geordie balloon lands on the pitch
Keith Holmes,
Liverpool, UK
2 invisible Policemen escort the Geordie Dancer from the pitch after he upsets the children in the stands
Keith Holmes, Liverpool, UK
The Geordie answer to Buffy deals with the mysterious yellow orbs!
Andy Forster, Hastings
New "Lemon Tango" advert launched as Drunken Newcastle Fan is tested for halocuigenic drugs after flying into a lemon on an invisible roller coaster
Paul Edwards,
England
The Newcastle fan realises he's made a big mistake in walking into a giant's game of Swingball.
Dave Griffin, Bath
The injuries were both serious and embarrassing when the yellow disco chandelier suddenly fell from the ceiling
Clare Falconer, Llandough, Wales
The Programme Overlords send Patrick Troughton back to investigate another disturbance in the time-space continuum.
Adrian Wade, Canada
William Tell was getting more confident as he elected to shoot a much-smaller lemon off his son's head this time
Rob Falconer, Wales
The Geordie 'Haka' struck fear in the hearts of all who saw it
Shawn Skellon, UK
Despite competition from the likes of Real Madrid, Chelsea and Man Utd, Newcastle capture the signing of one of the hottest prospects in world football
Steve Forster, UK
Newcastle introduce their amazing levitating man in a bid to push for that fourth champions league place
Steve Forster, UK
Now Daniel-san, this one is called 'The Crane'
Chris Syme,
UK
The Sun introduces its new "Spot the Ferret" competition
Rob Falconer, Wales
... and so Y-fronts were invented.
Eric Hindle,
UK
The Karate Kid 8: Geordie's Revenge
Chris Syme,
UK
So that's where my ex-wife got to!
Matt H,
Imperial College London
The Geordie Dancer is arrested on suspicion of enhancing his performance with massive doses of vitamin C
Nick Fowler, UK
One huge cough and out popped the pancake mix.
Raphus Cucullatus,
Mauritius
Denzil made a mental note not to cross his legs when he was wearing his electric thermal pants in future
Rob Falconer, Wales
TOTALLY TOPICAL TASTE
Chelsea had now bought everybody - this is what was left...
Les Linyard,
UK
A recent photo of Alan Shearer in action suggests that his decision to reject an England recall was well-considered
John Lewis,
Finland
The Cap Comp editor shows his delight and surprise as he receives his Golden Globe.
Raphus cucullatus, Mauritius
I wouldn't hire this guy too many more times or you'll have an angry Sir CLive Woodward on the phone complaining again about pre-match entertainment.
James Hunt, United Kingdom
Following Cameroons all in one strip, the new Newcastle 'shorts' come into question
Patrick Aubrey, UK
Newcastle's European replacement for Bowyer failed to impress the Toon.
Les Linyard,
UK
After the incident at the Superbowl no-one was taking any chances with the half-time entertainment!
Chris Jackson, England
Leeds Utd loan their best player to Newcastle in a bid to cut expenses
Jamie Gallant, United Kingdom
A clip from the new insania video.
simon hodgson,
england
Closet geordie Peter Andre promotes his new single!
Andy Forster,
Hastings
Having lost the 'boat race', the BBC moved onto the 'bloat race'.
Chris White, Welwyn Garden City, England
New reality TV show to find new sporting stars starts auditions. Here we see an impersonation of Jonny "The Power" Wilkinson.
Andy, Highworth
Janet Jackson had to adopt a cunning disguise in order to get any matchday work!
Chris White, Welwyn Garden City, England
Just how low will Michael Howard stoop to win votes for the Tory's
Andy Forster, Hastings
Manchester United were pleased to hear they weren't the only ones to slip up at the weekend.
Dave Griffin, Bath
Not content with changing the interpretation of the off side rule, FIFA now decide players must wear shoes and trousers in a bid to smarten up the games image
Steve Forster, UK
Sven smiled happily, knowing that he'd found his left sided midfielder at last
Michael Page, England
Fans get a preview of the new MATRIX film at St James' Park.
Divyang Shah, London, UK
Sepp Blatter's introduction of a smart/casual dress code wasn't going down as well as first thought
Richard Renton, England
Newcastle's attempt to lure Russian billionaires with Cossack dancing goes horribly wrong.
Andrew, UK
With many managers putting faith in youth these days, Bobby Robson decides to go for experience with his latest signing
Steve Forster, UK
After Mr Shepherd's accusation that Newcastle women were ugly, this keen Geordie man proves that in fact the men are uglier and sillier!
Rob Morris, UK
New offside rule causes further confusion.
Darren Farr,
England
An in-disguise Carl Cort breaks onto the Newcastle pitch for one last time!
Andy Forster, Hastings
Berti Vogts; "Do you think he has any Scottish relatives?"
Derek Lyttle, Scotland
In an ill fated attempt to beat Arsenal, Roman Abramovich signed everyone who'd ever been near a football pitch
Ian Davies, UK
CAP COMP CLASSICS
When the Geordie Dancer complained someone had put itching powder in his pants, there was a wry smile playing about the lips of Leslie Neilsen
Nick Fowler, UK
Wy ay its Big BIrds Big Egg
Nick,
Barnet UK
Geordie Dancer forgets the lyrics and attempts to put his right leg in before putting his left out
Patrick Aubrey, UK
A novel way to improve people's Dodgeball skills - cover the ball in yellow superglue first
Matt H, Imperial College London
Leg-"Stone-Scissors-Paper" never really caught on
Matt H,
Imperial College London
Shirt from St. James' Park: £25. Trousers from Marks and Sparks: £22. Behaving like a total plonker in front of 50,000 people: priceless.
John Lewis, Finland
Wow - has Big Bird laid an egg?
Keith Holmes,
Liverpool, UK
The poor man and his ball have been superglued to this fake background!
Stephen Tucker, USA
Leslie Neilsen's most ingenious disguise yet!
Stephen Tucker,
USA
The winner of the world's first "Full Body Rock, Paper, Scissors" competition.
Stephen Tucker, USA
I should be able to come up with something REALLY funny for a picture like this... but I can't.
Stephen Tucker, USA
Is that yellow thing one of big birds offspring? It looks just like him.
simon hodgson, england
Well, the Atkins Diet certainly worked for Big Bird!
Clare Falconer,
Llandough, Wales
Playing 'Paper, Scissors, Stone,' the Geordie doesn't realise you need just your hand to do "scissors"
Clare Falconer,
Llandough, Wales
The Geordie Dancer suddenly realises Big Bird has been butchered, as one of his giblets flies overhead
Clare Falconer, Llandough, Wales
It was rumoured that Big Bird had misplaced a valuable object
Jason Kilby, UK
Meanwhile, in another universe, a young Bobby Robson slips on a round banana
Ian Davies, UK
All this kicking had Big Bird's baby eggstremely worried...
Adrian Wade, Canada
MISCELLANEOUS
Ooops man somebodies nicked me bike like
Nick,
Barnet UK
At first it looked like he was really levitating, but then the spectators realised he was actually sitting on a pole.
Neill, UK
HEADLINE: Propellant Fart Caught On Camera!
Stephen Tucker,
USA
A mole from the stadium of light infiltrates ST James' Park!
Andy Forster, Hastings
Freddie Shephard had actually asked to see 'Jordan' dancing before the game.
Chris White, Welwyn Garden City. England
As hard as they tried, Geordie fans couldn't re-create Jonny Wilkinson's World cup winning drop goal.
Chris White, Welwyn Garden City. England
Ireland has riverdance, England - a fat bloke with a football- brilliant!
David T, Ireland
The spectators were unanimous that, had they wanted to see Billy Elliot, they would have all gone to the ruddy cinema instead
Clare Falconer, Llandough, Wales
If I had known that the ball would be spiked I would have worn more than my trousers.
Divyang Shah, London, UK
The Geordie Dancer? No, I'm just waiting for them to open the toilets!
Rob Falconer, Wales
`ave it.
Hywel G,
Machen
I think maybe the underpitch heating is turned up a little too high!
Rob Falconer, Wales
I've just learned the hard way: never chest a ball with a spike through it.
Raphus cucullatus, Mauritius
MISTAKEN IDENTITY
Billy Bunter almost falls over backwards when he sees the size of the sherbert lemons on sale in the tuck shop
John Lewis, Finland
Danny Baker was a little bit too short to play swingball.
Hywel G, Machen
After years in the shadow of her husband Mrs Shearer finally makes it onto the ST James' Park pitch!
Andy Forster, Hastings
Penfold was lost, but he realised the easiest way to find Dangermouse was to follow the giant cheese ball.
Ben P, UK
Son of weatherman Ian McGaskill attempts to capture escaped weather map symbols.
Andy,
Highworth
Hugo Viana proves he is not just a pretty face!
Andy Forster,
Hastings
In heavy disguise, David Blaine shows that levitation is possible.
Dave Griffin, Bath
As the fog on the Tyne cleared Newcastle fans could see that they had in fact signed Ronnie Corbett and not Ronaldinho
Philip Allinson,
London, UK
Louis Theroux entertains the crowd at half time.
Raphus Cucullatus,
Mauritius
Since his transfer to Newcastle, Robert Pires has let himself go a bit.
Dave Griffin, Bath
So that's what Higo Viana looks like.
Dave Griffin,
Bath
With his job at Man City hanging on the balance Kevin Keegan attempts to win back the Geordie faithful!
Andy Forster, Hastings
Flashback: Mickey Quinn eats his first pie!
Mark Newbold,
UK
Even glasses and a Newcastle shirt couldn't disguise the fact that Kenneth Williams was a rubbish player.
Steve Godrich, UK
Peter Beardsley 'struts his stuff' in a recent trial at Newcastle
Steven Fisher, England
Racquet-less Peter Beardsley, feels the full force of the 'Killer Kilcline' backhand in the Newcastle old boy's Swingball competition.
Steven Fisher, England
When the film of Pele's overhead kick in 'Escape to victory' was slowed down there was a surprising discovery!
Shawn Skellon, UK
On hearing that Sven was at the match to watch him play Shearer decided to kill any rumour of an England return
Shawn Skellon, UK
Real Madrid might have Golden Balls Beckham at Newcastle we have Canary Yellow Ball Eddie the Eagle.
Chris Manuell,
UK
Michael Flatley provided the pre match entertainment at St James Park with his rendition of the historic River'side' Dance especially for the Boro fans
Shawn Skellon, UK
The Michael Flatley Testimonial game was a big hit with everyone.
Andy G, UK
Neddy Seagoon saves humanity from wild and dangerous unexploded grapefruit
Adrian Wade, Canada, usually...
Danny Baker enjoyed great success at the raquetless Swingball Championships.
Steve S, Scotter, UK
Paul McCartney is overjoyed after finding out he is Britain's best selling artist.
Simon Hodgson, England
Eddie Large (well known Manchester City fan) will never live down his attempt to mimic The Geordie Dancer!!
Derek Lyttle, Scotland
Michael Flatley regrets leaving his trousers out on the line when it was freezing
Rob Falconer, Wales
Former Magpie David Ginola returns to St James' Park, albeit a few pounds heavier!
Dave Brown, UK
John Prescott's attempts to recreate the famous Tony Blair and Kevin Keegan head tennis moment fails miserably.
Ben Dunbar, N. England
Despite the rejuvenating tablets, Lionel Blair was still having problems with one of the dance routines
Clare Falconer, Llandough, Wales
Peter Beardsley definitely not the player he was!
Jonny,
York, England
Neo may have saved humanity, but he was unable to rectify the graphics glitch in the Matrix.
James Wiffen, Chelmsford, Essex
REGULARS' BANTER
Si Griffin tries to get back into shape after a lengthy winters holiday
Luke O'Neill, Portsmouth, England
Rob Falconer pulls out all the stops in an attempt to gain admission to Si's yacht party.
Stephen Tucker, USA
Si Griffin hires the Geordie Dancer for his on-board entertainment
Matt H, Imperial College London
|
OUR FAVOURITE
The moment Mark Sibley was informed that he'd won caption competition 187
Chris White, Welwyn Garden City, England
|
Si Griffin denies rumours that his yacht entertainment budget is running low, insisting that "it is Justin Timberlake up there on stage"
Matt H, Imperial College London
Clare has had enough of Rob Falconer both entering the cap comp and playing football at lunchtime, so throws a dart into his ball.
Don Hale, Stockport
Sadly, the mating dance of the Lesser Spotted Magpie failed to attract Naomi of York...
Adrian Wade, Canada
The moment Mark Sibley was informed that he'd won caption competition 187.
Chris White, Welwyn Garden City, England
The Cap comp judges had to visit every bar in Newcastle just to find this guy. (hic!)
Chris White, Welwyn Garden City, England
~RS~a~RS~Domestic~RS~q~RS~~RS~z~RS~38~RS~){kind=small}
MMIX
E-mail this to a friend
Printable version
