Caption Competition 158

Sir Bobby Robson goes for a relaxing dip during Newcastle's Far East tour.

Send us something funny and you could win a prize.

It wasn't just Jermaine Jenas who was in hot water during Newcastle's pre-season tour of Malaysia.

Sir Bobby was furious after the young midfielder fluffed the decisive Asia Cup final penalty against Chelsea, but at least the silver-haired Geordie took some time out to relax on the trip.

He's seen here almost entirely submerged in water, and we wanted your suggestions as to what may be going on.

This week's lucky winner is David W from West London who came up with this inspired observation.

Sir Bobby regrets putting the whole packet of Opal Fruits in his mouth at once.

Congratulations David your goody bag is on it's way.

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Pun fun

Penalty malays pours cold water on Robson's Asian ambitions.
Roy James, UK

BEST IN CATEGORY BBC Cap Comp spawns new cult movie: Invasion of the Bobby-Snappers. Adrian Wade, Canada

Tyne and tide.
Roy James, UK

Gulliver: "Waiter, waiter! There's a guy in my soup!"
Si Griffin, UK

So quietly did the furious Robson swim up behind Jenas that England's "Under-19's-kipper" would have needed a herring aid to hear him coming.
Adrian Wade, Canada, usually.

BBC Cap Comp spawns new cult movie: Invasion of the Bobby-Snappers.
Adrian Wade, Canada

Jawdie.
Simon, Hitchin

Cap Comp News: Last week Bjorn messed up two shots, this week Newcastle players messed up three, and next week is a four-gone conclusion.
Adrian Wade, Canada

Sir Bobby asked the supporters why they had thrown him in... so they sang, in unison, "You never wore cologne... You never wore cologne..."
Adrian Wade, Canada

When 'Lap'land needed a team coach, Robson went two great lengths to get the job.
Adrian Wade, Canada

Tyne and Weary.
Adrian Wade, Canada, usually.

I asked for a 'Newcy Brown' not a 'Newcy Drown...'
Andy Sweet, Atherstone, UK

Oriental chefs prepare to cook Lobson Thermidor
Clare Falconer, Wales

When I said I fancied a lucky dip I meant a lotto ticket.
Nicola Chisholm, UK

Mine disposal experts find an unexploded Bob in the water
Clare Falconer, Llandough, Wales

Bob on the Tyne is all mine all mine.
Dave Green, UK

Har-poon army.
James Atkinson, Sheffield, UK

Robson: "who's a silly buoy then?"
Michael O'Connor, England

Robson teaches his players how to "dive".
Michael O'Connor, England

Geordie's warped dive was experiencing a few problems.
Adrian Wade, Canada

Hmmm I wonder if anybody can think of any Seaman jokes ??
James Atkinson, Sheffield, UK

Swimming two miles offshore, Robson knew this would be the only time he would be saved by a Seaman
Adrian Wade, Canada

'Water am I to do with you' Sir Bobby, dunks Jermaine leaving him lost at 'sea. Water a way to score one back!
Jim, Cardiff

Bobby couldn't stand watching the duck Waddle and went after it angrily.
RayRay, Coventry, UK

Sir Bobby dips into the transfer market
Sarah L, UK

'The frog on the tyne'.
Rhodri Turner, Cardiff

Wow, that boy can dribble.
Tony Robinson, Somerset

Weapon of Splash Destruction found floating in Tyne.
Curly, Barnet

Fogie on the Tyne is all mine, all mine.
Si Griffin, UK

You Tarzan, me Jenas.
Naomi, York

Classic Novels brings you: The Water Bobbies.
Si Griffin, UK

A manager with Tyne on his hands...
Naomi, York

Bobby Robson goes 'trawling' for talent' overseas.
Bob, Bridgend, S Wales

Another Robson Cap Comp... Oh crawl fate!
Adrian Wade, Canada

Sir Bobbing Robson
Adrian Wade, Canada

SIRf's up!
Rick Baker, England.

Swim when you're winning.
James Atkinson, Sheffield, UK

Someone finally proves Desmond Morris wrong... Magpies CAN swim!
Adrian Wade, Canada (but sometimes in the UK)

I might be doing the crawl, but Jermaine's the one who's going to be doing the grovelling
Clare Daniele Falconer, Llandough, Wales

Bobby keeps on searching for a new super sub.
Colin Russell, UK

Jenaws 3D
Darren Starkey's sister, Sunderland

The Cryonic Man.
David W, West London

Sir Bobby denied that he'd had a stroke.
Ed, UK

Rumours in Newcastle that Sir Bobby Robson walks on water appear to be misplaced.
Ken McKnown, Doncaster. UK

Bobby struggles to locate his remaining sub.
Gerry Slawson, uk

Today it was revealed that Sir Bobby Robson was rescue from the Tyne River by the 1966 World Cup hero and his wife, Mr and Mrs Alan Ball. The headline in the paper read "Robson pulled out of the Tyne by the Balls"!
Ken McKnown, Doncaster. UK

The Manager from Atlantis
Mark, London

Bobby confirms pre-season at newcastle was going "swimmingley".
Ashley, UK

Sir Bobby makes a 'far from a shore'd performance.
Si Griffin, UK

Sunk in the Chel-sea
Curly, BARNET

Bob.
Si Griffin, UK

Soggy Bobson.
Max, UK

I may be crawling, but it's Jermaine who's going to have to do the grovelling.
Clare Falconer, Wales

Bobby lives up to his name.
Clare Falconer, Wales

Bobby Frogson.
Stephen Tucker, USA

Sir Bobby swims knightly to keep up his good health.
Stephen Tucker, USA

Sir Bobby's heart, and the rest of him, sinks as Jenas misses the spot kick.
Stephen Tucker, USA

Top bobbin'!
James Atkinson, Sheffield, UK

Seems like a nice buoy.
Nick, London

Outrage at Newcastle, as Sir Bobby goes to 'Pool.
Si Griffin, UK

Water useless penalty.
Ashley, UK

Bobbing Robson.
Si Griffin, UK

Newcastle Brown Whale!
Clare Daniele Falconer, Llandough, Wales

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Say what you see

After years amusing public audiences, the great beast is released back into the wild.
C. Hunter, England

BEST IN CATEGORY With bear-like reflexes Bobby goes after the salmon Mike Goudge, UK

When sent to get National Geographic's pictures of 'rare Man-at-ease' in the water, the photographer had to settle for sunburned Sir Bobby relaxing.
Adrian Wade, Canada

Bobby pretends to drown right in front of the busty new lifeguard.
Andy, Hemel Hempstead

Sir Bobby hoped that was a bar of chocolate that just floated by....
Alan, London

"Albino Hulk spotted in the Tyne".
Ashley, UK

Bobby Robson, sponsored by Blue Stratos
Dave Richman, Bracknell

After his team's defeat Bobby was half the man he used to be.
David, London

Sir Bobby Robson proves he has the figure of a man barely twice his age.
Clare Falconer, Wales

When Bobby woke up, he realised he'd been dribbling again.
Si Griffin, UK

Robson prepares himself for the new season by taking an early bath.
Roy James, UK

Bob denies he sweats a lot when jogging.
Naomi, York

Sunderland's new mascot, Sharky the Great White takes on Bob at the Lido.
Naomi, York

Cutting his toenails on the water bed had proved to be a costly mistake.
Si Griffin, UK

No matter where you go on holiday there is always a Geordie messing around in the pool.
Tom, England

BBC proves Loch Ness Monster does exist.
Adrian Wade, Canada

In case the concrete boots weren't heavy enough, Sir Bobby made sure that Jenas' punishment was carried out correctly.
Simon, Hitchin

Bobby checks that the water is ok for Craig Bellamy's first early bath.
Naomi, York

I see some wag left the sprinkler on at St James all summer
Naomi, York

Robson's peaceful stroll along a Malaysian beach was ruined when John Prescott jumped in off Blackpool pier.
C. Hunter, England

After forgetting to shut the door in his walk-in bath, Robson heads for the pub.
C. Hunter, England

Damn! If only I had another arm then I might be able to get to the other end!
Ted Page, Chesterfield, UK

Bobby's excessive perspiration problem caused the game to be abandoned.
David W, West London

To round off a bad week, Sir Bobby ran into difficulties when his life-jacket sank.
C. Hunter, England

"Ruddy car-wash. Never works properly."
C. Hunter, England

Bobby's cameo role in "Titanic" was eventually rescued from the cutting room floor.
C. Hunter, England

Bobby circles the position where Jenas is "sleeping with the fishes" after his penalty miss.
James Atkinson, Sheffield, UK

Robson drowns his sorrows; i.e. Jermaine Jenas.
Mike Goudge, U.K.

With Bear like reflexes Bobby goes after the salmon.
Mike Goudge, UK

Sir Bobby tries to whip more speed out of his mount in his first crack at water polo.
Gerry Slawson, uk

Bobby's heart felt and moving rendition of the final scene from "The Titanic" touched us all.
Ali Evans, Australia

Bobby Robson looks upset at having been asked to leave the pool for dive-bombing.
Max, UK

It was at this moment, and with that special kind of taste in his mouth, that Sir Bob realised he was swimming in the kids learning pool.
Max, UK

With West Ham down, Sir Bobby was the only one left blowing bubbles.
Si Griffin, UK

Mysterious "One armed bandit" robs Ipswich youth system......again.
Ashley, UK

Bobby regretted going on a boat trip with Lee Bowyer.....
Ashley, UK

And you though Stamford Bridge had drainage problems......
Ashley, UK

Bobby performs the daring "bellamy flop" in the diving competition.
Ashley, UK

In a training session game of sharks and minnows, Sir Bobby takes the part of the shark a little too seriously.
Stephen Tucker, USA

I'm no good at ruddy water polo. That's the eighth horse I've drowned.
Clare Falconer, Wales

Robson finally learns to swim without his floaties.
Stephen Tucker, USA

Top Bombing!
James Atkinson, Sheffield, UK

Auditions for "Baywatch: Eastbourne" were going well...
Ashley, UK

"Jermaine, I'm holding you under until you're sorry!"
Si Griffin, UK

Sir Bobby surfaces after drowning young Jermaine.
Stephen Tucker, USA

Sir Bobby was starting to regret having installed a moat around his new castle.
Mark, London

Sir Bobby tries out Victoria Beckham's Olympic-size birthing tank.
Clare Falconer, Wales

Excitement over the discovery of the Loch Ness monster was quickly ended when a scientist concluded that it was just Sir Bobby again.
Gordon Howes, Cambridge

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Lost at sea

What are they all yelling for? There's enough room in the sea for me and Sue Nammy.
Clare Falconer, Llandough, Wales

BEST IN CATEGORY Robson battles for his life after absent-mindedly putting the water-wings on his ankles C. Hunter, England

Bobby's swimming stamina was put to the test when he lost the bet with JJ to go and retrieve his penalty miss from the ocean.
karl bates, Isleham, Cambridgeshire, England

Very funny, putting me on the flight to Japan! When I get to Malaysia...
Joseph Haig, Manchester, UK

Robson battles for his life after absent-mindedly putting the water-wings on his ankles.
C. Hunter, England

Not again!! The last time I did this was just after we hit an iceberg.
Shaun, Abu Dhabi, UAE

Sir Bobby shows the world he's not going round in circles despite the rumours of him recently losing an arm in a freak swimming accident ...
Shaun, Abu Dhabi, UAE

Howard Barnes holds Mike Goudge under until he apologises for nicking his Toon Army/Tsunami joke.
Mark, London

The cello music began to unsettle Sir Bobby.
Ed, UK

Robson thought the screaming people running past where shouting "Toon Army" but it turned out to be "Tsunami"
Mike Goudge, U.K.

Come on... someone throw me a life-line ... ... Well its not you Jenas!
Sufdar, London

".... when the boat comes in!"
steve franklin, barrow in furness

Bobby couldn't understand it....Sir Alex had just walked across this same stretch.
Karen Gillett, Bootle, Merseyside

Jenas would soon know how it feels to be between the devil and the deep blue sea.
Neal Berridge, UK

Jermaine Jenas worries as the great white shark rushes towards him.
Sarah L, UK

"Bobby Robson walks on water" claim proves false.
Simon, Hitchin

Another season trailing in the wake of Arsenal and United?
Peter N., Ashford

Silver surfer
Michael O'connor, England

Believing the shouting behind him to be 'Toon Army', Sir Bobby is oblivious to the warnings of Tsunami.
Howard Barnes, South Wales

Newcastle can't be so short of money that Sir Bobby can't even get an economy class seat back?!
Ted Page, Chesterfield, UK

"I'm just trying to work off my fury," says Sir Bobby Robson as he approaches the coast of California.
Clare Daniele Falconer, Llandough, Wales

I didn't even realise Chelsea was in Asia!
Clare Daniele Falconer, Llandough, Wales

"Not long now, I should be home for the season's opener!"
Steve Franklin, Barrow in Furness

"I should never have opened my big mouth and said, if we lose this match I'll swim home!"
Steve Franklin, Barrow in Furness

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Mistaken identity

Doctor Foster's ill-fated trip to Gloucester.
Joseph Haig, Manchester, UK

BEST IN CATEGORY Patrick Moore takes some time off star gazing with an afternoon paddle David Baker, Southend

Crowds of Japanese tourists lined the shores pointing and yelling "Gojira."
Clare Falconer, Wales

I've never liked Jermaine since reading "The Female Eunuch."
Clare Falconer, Wales

Is that a jelly fish, or is it Barthez's head I can see in the water.
Nick Lowe, UK

Arnie reveals his rigorous training schedule for 'Terminator 8'!
Steve S, Scotter, UK

Plans for the revival of "Baywatch" were scrapped after these secretly taken pictures of David Hasselhoff were taken of him in training.
Rob Morris, UK

King Neptune: not as scary without his trident.
Neal Berridge, UK

And who says David Hasslehoff hasn't aged well!
Sarah L, UK

Steve Martin stars in Father of the Tide.
Si Griffin, UK

As Robson inspects the James Park pitch, the grounds people are still confident the drainage problems will be fixed before the season starts.
Mike Duncan, Perth, Australia

The invitation of Roy Hattersley to the friendly proves disastrous.
Dan B, Barnet

Kato finally finishes off the Pink Panther..
andy sweet, atherstone,uk

An early colour photograph of Captain Matthew Webb, the first successful Channel Swimmer.
Alan, London

Two seasons on David Beckham refused scientists' claims that too much sun speeds up the ageing process.
Ed, UK

Patrick Moore takes some time off star gazing with an afternoon paddle.
David Baker, Southend

Sharon Davies announces her return to competitive action.
Michael Eaton, England

Alan Shearer proves he can still play a full 90 minutes by swimming across the Tyne.
Mitesh Shah, England

Chris Patten decides to retake Hong Kong
Clare Daniele Falconer, Llandough, Wales

The years had taken a toll on David Hasselhoff...
Ashley, UK

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Miscellaneous

No one told me that the Malay word for 'football' is the same as 'water polo'.
Joseph Haig, Manchester, UK

BEST IN CATEGORY Sir Bobby regrets putting the whole packet of Opal Fruits in his mouth at once David W, West London

Bobby "Moses" Robson's credibility suffers during Red Sea debacle.
C. Hunter, England

Jermaine Jenas laughs in the wings as Sir Bobby falls for the underwater snooker trick.
Sam Benbow, London

It was the last time Bobby would fall for the old screaming jalapeno pepper sauce in the sarnies trick...
Adrian Wade, Canada

But Jermaine Jenas knew he was doomed the minute he turned the hose off.
Clare Falconer, Wales

After being photographed in his swimming trunks, the Press rechristen Newcastle's manager Sir Booby.
Clare Falconer, Llandough, Wales

Not used to playing cricket, the slightly-hard-of-hearing Sir Bobby elects to bath first.
Clare Falconer, Llandough, Wales

After seeing the expression on Sir Bobby's face, all the sharks take cover.
Clare Falconer, Llandough, Wales

Sir Bobby regrets putting the whole packet of Opal Fruits in his mouth at once.
David W, West London

You're not swimming, you're not swimming, you're not swimming any more! You're not swimming any more!
David, London

"He's got the eye of the tiger with the speed of a shark".
David, London

Robson tight-lipped about alleged waterproof deodorant shoot as team go down to Orient.
Roy James, UK

As punishment for his missed penalty, Jermain must watch Sir Bobby go skinny-dipping.
Stephen Tucker, USA

Idiots! I said I could TALK on water.
Ed, UK

Damn, I've forgotten to tape Countdown!
Phil Lloyd-Bushell, England

Being a tough Geordie, Bobby has a race to see who can down a swimming pool in one rather than pints of lager.
James Atkinson, Sheffield, UK

And the old old Magpie went bob bob bobbin' along...
Stephen Tucker, USA

With the theme music to Jaws playing....
"Why aye pet, I wish it was Jaws. I think in my case, it's more like "Gums".
Rob Morris, UK

"help ... I think Jermaine Jenas is drowning!" (teehee)
Later that day ... Bobby was heard to say "honest, I tried calling for help!"
Glen, London

I'll let your head up this time Jermaine but don't let me see you shooting like that when the season starts!
Rocky, Bermuda

"JJ, you can stay down there for another two minutes".
Martin Rose, Newcastle, England

Yet another graduate from Eric 'The Eel' Moussambani's School of Excellence!
Steve S, Scotter, UK

Bobby begins training for this year's Iron Pensioner competition.
David, London

After the one armed golfer we now have the one armed swimmer...these photos just get better and better!
David, London

You remember Eric the Eel, now its Bobby the blow-fish.
Ben Dunbar, Rochdale, UK

Robson tries to float one into the corner a la Ronaldinho.
Anirban Mukhopadhyay, USA

Seniors Water Polo final halted as the Robmeister's horse drowns.
Andy Sweet, Atherstone, UK

On being told to watch out for the monsoon, Robby had replied: "What's a mon? And how soon?"
C. Hunter, England

After examining Robson's wake, it was confirmed that Sir Bobby is indeed forever blowing bubbles.
C. Hunter, England

Bobby's brainchild - solo synchronised swimming - looked like a non-starter.
C. Hunter, England

Sir Bobby's global search for new talent was hampered by travel budget cuts.
C. Hunter, England

The infamous Malaysian puddles were deeper than Robby had expected.
C. Hunter, England

Moments earlier, 30,000 feet above the Indian Ocean, Sir Bobby had wondered why the loo door had such a big handle on it.
C. Hunter, England

AC Milan, OK. Juventus, OK. But this is the last time we play ruddy Venice.
Clare Falconer, Wales

(Narrator, in Australian accent) Now this 'ere is a rare Silva-hai'ed Geo'die! Isn't he a beaut?
Stephen Tucker, USA

Robson's valiant attempt to save the lobster was in vain.
Mike Goudge, U.K.

Bobby regrets making young Jermaine cry.
Max, UK

At the World Masters Swimming Championships, Sir Bobby sets the crowd alight with his performance in the 90-94 age group.
John Lewis, Finland

Old man river.
Jason Braier, London

"Grrr... I'll beat that Eric the Eel next time!"
Chris Seaver, London

Bobby: "Oh no not again Gazza, no more tears, you can't play for Newcastle and that's that".
Gerry Slawson, UK

Why ay man... I'm drowning like... not waving man like, do I not like anything ending in sea... like Chelsea man?
Curly, Barnet

Sir Bobby apologises about his curry to fellow bathers who thought it was a Jacuzzi.
Darren Starkey's sister, Sunderland

Sir Bobby regrets wishing that the ground would open up and swallow him!
Richard Morris, Hamilton

St James Park's ground staff were fired this morning as the pitch became slightly waterlogged.
Max, UK

Sir Bobby starts stage one of the senior citizens' 'Iron Man' contest.
David Baker, Southend

Gazza's surprise emotional return to Tyneside caused some pre-season training havoc.
Steve Buttercase, St Ives, Cambs

After doctors advised Bobby to slow down, he realised that water skiing was never going to be the same.
James Atkinson, Sheffield, UK

Officials launch an enquiry into whether we could win more World Championship medals if the average age of our swimmers was reduced.
Martin Rose, Newcastle, England

After another wayward tee shot, Sir Bobby was determined not to lose another ball.
Rhodri Turner, Cardiff

Sir Bobby had left the taps running again...
Si Griffin, UK

When they said Far East, I thought they meant Clacton!
Clare Daniele Falconer, Llandough, Wales

"If I catch that kid who nicked my shorts..."
Si Griffin, UK

I wouldn't have come if I'd known it was the monsoon season.
Clare Daniele Falconer, Llandough, Wales

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Cap comp classics

Sir Bobby plans what he's going to be doing for next week's Caption Competition photograph.
Clare Falconer, Llandough, Wales

BEST IN CATEGORY Always looking for a photo opportunity, the Cap Comp photographer hurled Robson off the ferry C. Hunter, England

Sir Bobby desperately tries to get back to his computer to send his final Cap Comp entries by noon.
Clare Falconer, Wales

"You put your left arm in, you put your right arm out..." "Dang, I always get stuck at that part!"
Faustino, Brisbane, Australia

Bobby takes a morning swim while thinking up ways to avoid appearing in yet another Caption Comp photo
Tall Tone, Chelmsford, England

England was again fined for ugly scenes.
Stephen Tucker, USA

Naked Gun 33 and a 1/3.
John s, UK

Ernie's 'bobbing Bob' painting sold for a mint.
Sarah L, UK

Even though they formed a friendship at Wimbledon, Tracy Edwards refused to save the hapless Bobby!
Sarah L, UK

Having been a victim of a caption comp super-glue incident, Sir Bobby jumps into a vat of ACME super-glue dissolving solution only to discover it was a trick.
Richard Morris, Hamilton

Naked Fun 70 1/3.
Sean Murphy, UK

Bobby Robson tries to swim against a tide of tenuous Leslie Neilson and superglue jokes.
Michael O'Connor, England

BBC Cap Comp publishes yet another weapon of mass distraction.
Adrian Wade, Canada

Worried that the superglue might dissolve, Bobby tries to keep his hair dry.
I. Diot, England

Always looking for a photo opportunity, the Cap Comp photographer hurled Robson off the ferry.
C. Hunter, England

While doing his normal 18 lengths, Robson takes two extra strokes on the 16th...
Adrian Wade, Canada

The Cap Comp judges go for the easy option again, and choose yet another picture of someone famous impersonating Leslie Nielsen
Clare Daniele Falconer, Llandough, Wales

Bobby tries to drown himself after finding out Clare has worked in a superglue joke.
Stephen Tucker, USA

David Seaman's escape from prison allowed him to get revenge on the plucky pensioner from the ID parade.
Ashley, UK

"I'm a septuagenarian - get me out of here!"
Mark, London

After torrential rain on the 16th hole, Bobby swims to Bjorn's assistance.
C .Hunter, England

The plucky pensioner raced to the shore in an attempt to stop little Tommy's sandcastle from being destroyed.
Mark, London

Leslie Neilsen struggled to escape from the vat of superglue.
Si Griffin, UK

Naked Gun IV took the title a little too literally.
Si Griffin, UK

Oh no, Ernie Els has turned to water-colours now!
Clare Falconer, Wales

Bobby is furious when he realises the BBC Cap Comp photographer has snapped him during his skinny dip.
Max, UK

Help me before all this superglue sets!
Clare Daniele Falconer, Llandough, Wales

Sir Bobby puts on a funny expression in the hope that a Cap Comp photographer is nearby.
Clare Daniele Falconer, Llandough, Wales

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Regulars' banter

Aquatic hitman employed by Naomi of York approaches Sunderland.
Darren Starkey's sister, Sunderland

BEST IN CATEGORY Failed Cap Comp entrant Sir Bobby Robson swims out to put a limpet mine on Si Griffin's yacht Clare Daniele Falconer, Llandough

Cap Comp Judges declare Llandough the home of killer wales humour.
Adrian Wade, Canada (and Swansea, '81-85)

Finally, the regulars of the caption competition pull the plug on Si Griffin
Brian McKen, Scotch Corner

Cap Comp committee learns to limit the volume of entries by posting difficult material to work with.
Brian Lang, Chicago, USA

Bobby has a feel around to see if Dave Harrington's caption comp entries have got stuck in the drain.
Dave Harrington, Liverpool

Bobby knew that if he tried hard enough, he'd get a caption competition picture of his own instead of being an extra in someone elses.
Steve Godrich, UK

A close up of Si Griffin on the move proves that all this talk about him owning a yacht is just rubbish
David, London

"Newsflash: Bobby Robson stalker revealed as bbc caption contest photographer"
ashley, uk

"Must...get...to...Si's...yacht."
Sarah L, UK

Robson's failure to wear sun tan lotion whilst swimming resulted in yet another case of Newcastle Brown.
Adrian Wade, Canada

Sir Bobby hunts down the common C Hunter!
Curly, Barnet

Robson searches in vain for the eight excellent captions sent in by Naomi of York.
Naomi, York

Cap Comp editors have time for a swim as Martin Mills is on holiday.
Martin Rose, Newcastle, England

Bobby swims furiously as he is told that Naomi is waiting on the other side. I'd like to see his face when he finds out its not Ms Campbell.
Mitesh Shah, England

Bobby Robson takes the lead for most appearances in cap comp photos.
Martin Rose, Newcastle, England

The prolific and talented Ms. Falconer makes a splash in every category.
Adrian Wade, Canada

Thanks, Adrian Wade. Care to send a photograph ?
Clare Falconer, Wales

Si Griffin flees the country, closely followed by boatloads of angry Cap Compers
Darren Starkey's sister, Sunderland, England, UK

Sorry about that. I've now banned my litle sister from using the Internet.
Darren Starkey, Sunderland

John Lewis's webbed hands and feet lead to him being disqualified from the over 70's swimming event!
Brian McKen, Scotch Corner

S.A.S trained Robson goes after Jenas who believes himself safe aboard Si Griffins yacht.
Mike Goudge, U.K.

I don't mind swimming, and I don't mind pulling Si Griffin's yacht, but I do hate it when he wants to go water-skiing.
Clare Daniele Falconer, Llandough, Wales

Jeremy Dallyn: Puff, gotta get to England in time for puff, Cap puff comp.
Jeremy Dallyn, England

Stephen Tucker gets to grips with swimming.
David, London

Caption Competition organiser last seen crossing channel to escape angry hordes due to choice of winners in recent weeks.
GMcD, Edinburgh

Apparently, the BBC has sent Sir Bobby to swim my goody-bag to me...
Stephen Tucker, USA

It's only because I dont know one end of the new fangled computers from the other that I get chosen for these caption competitions.
James Atkinson, Sheffield, UK

Bobby finally understands that having a dig at cap comp judges will get you a, Thrown overboard, or b, no catagory wins.
James Atkinson, Sheffield, UK

Sir Bobby Robson attempts to swim the Channel in less time than it takes for the Cap Comp to be updated.
Mark, London

After forgetting to use the anchor, Si Griffin swims after his speedboat as it drifts out to sea.
John Lewis, Finland

Bobby goes to massive lengths to avoid Si Griffin's pack of hounds.
James Atkinson, Sheffield, UK

Ay, I don't mind pulling Si Griffin's yacht for him, but I hate it when he wants to go water-skiing.
Clare Falconer, Wales

Naomi of York's off with her Dad for a few days, so the Cap Comp's all mine!
Darren Starkey's sister, Sunderland

Bored with standard yachts, Si Griffin is now the grateful recipient of a Bobby Robson shaped submarine.
James Atkinson, Sheffield, UK

Ashley's strike against the caption contest finished when pictures of Bobby Robson with his arm stuck to his knee allowed the return of superglue jokes.
Ashley, UK

Failed Cap Comp entrant Sir Bobby Robson swims out to put a limpet mine on Si Griffin's yacht.
Clare Daniele Falconer, Llandough, Wales

Why do I bother sending all these in? It's always a late entrant who wins!
Darren Starkey's sister, Sunderland, England, UK

Resigned to a glut of Leslie Neilsen gags, Sir Bobby is at least relieved that there's SURELY no superglue opportunities this week.
Sean Murphy, UK

People will try anything to get on my yacht.
Si Griffin, UK

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Sur-really great

At last Sir Bobby had cooled down, but the ecological disaster of millions of boiled fish could not be so easily overlooked.
Clare Falconer, Wales

BEST IN CATEGORY Sir Bobby fixed the sea-snake in his steely gaze while cleverly using his left arm to signal to the women and children to leave the water. What a star! No name

Sir Bobby Robson inflatable lilos start a new trend in Malaysia.
Clare Falconer, Llandough, Wales

Madame Tussaud's floor is ruined as the Bobby Robson waxwork begins to melt.
Alex, Liverpool

Radical new speedboat design begins sea trials following extensive wind tunnel testing.
Gary Chiles, New Zealand

Real Madrid might not want to eat worms, but Bobby couldn't get enough of them. It was starting to annoy the local fishermen, who hadn't caught a thing all day.
Mark, London

There's a circus in the town in the town, Bobby Robson is a clown is a clown, he goes for a dip and ends up breaking his hip...
Michael O'Connor, England

I'm melting! Melting!
Stephen Tucker, USA

Another pensioner has his clothes stolen and is placed in a giant bottle of lemonade. The victim later described the culprit as 'Darren Starkey's sister'.
Naomi, York

Sir Bobby fixed the sea-snake in his steely gaze while cleverly using his left arm to signal to the women and children to leave the water. What a star!
No name

The new fairground 'hook-a-pensioner' game required both strength and accuracy.
Si Griffin, UK

Sir Bobby disproves the theory that dinosaurs couldn't swim.
Simon, Hitchin

Bobby tries to take his mind off things during a swim, but can only think of chips.
David Baker, Southend

Sir Bobby swims circles in his kiddie-pool, trying to avoid the men in white coats...
Stephen Tucker, USA

The water is so hot that the rest of Robson has already melted.
Stephen Tucker, USA

The 180 year old Robson secretly filmed in the St James Cocoon fountain of youth.
Howard Barnes, South Wales

NEWSFLASH - Rare species endangered when Noah departs early.
Royter, England

Robson quickly takes the fin off his back as the Malaysian Coast Guard approach.
Mike Goudge, U.K.

After the Americans drafted in dolphins to defuse mines, the Royal Navy come up with a cut price option.
James Atkinson, Sheffield, UK

The sleek outline of a great white Geordie shark looking to snatch a hapless victim, who can take a successful penalty, is seen surfacing in the River Tyne.
gary webb, Blackpool

Bobby shows jermaine how to take a penalty in style, his underwater scorpion kick proved an immediate hit with the malaysian fans.
Ashley, UK

SIr Bobby begins to worry, as a number of Sushi chefs with nets watch him from the shore
Clare Falconer, Wales

Sir Bobby tries to hide his embarrassment as his colostomy bag suddenly bursts
Clare Falconer, Wales

'Magpie Man' discovered entombed in ice in Asia.
Jonathan Stevens, Hertfordshire

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Totally Topical Taste

After reading about Chelsea's spending Robson decides Newcastle won't be able to cope in the Premiership and desserts a sinking ship.
Michael O'Connor, England

BEST IN CATEGORY The court case had put years on John Leslie James Atkinson, Sheffield, UK

When Sir Bobby was told that signing Lee Bowyer would be just a drop in the ocean, he hadn't realised they meant it literally.
Si Griffin, UK

The court case had put years on John Leslie.
James Atkinson, Sheffield, UK

After 15 seconds in the air, Robson's copy-cat attempt to glide from England to France ended in Dover's sewage farm.
C. Hunter, England

"Is that Sharron Davies I see getting out of the pool? And why do my eyes sting? Doesn't taste too good either".
Scott Adamson, Shotts

BA demonstrates its alternative routes
Nicola Chisholm, UK

With the Chelsea takeover very much on his mind, Robson decides to take arms against a sea of roubles.
John Lewis, Finland

After £37m of new talent arrives at Chelsea, Robson will not be the only Premiership manager 'russian' to take a 'Roman' bath.
Adrian Wade, Canada

Sir Bobby Robson refuses to use the Transporter Bridge sending a clear message to smoggies all over world!
Emma Keaney, Newcastle, UK

People in North East not amused at having to swim across after transporter bridge sold to Cherokees.
Mitesh Shah, England

Organisers for the world championships in Barcelona are surprised by a late entry.
Ben Dunbar, Rochdale, UK

Bobby Robson suddenly became very wary when he saw Sharron Davies swimming just ahead...
Grae, Feltham

Bobby cries, realiizing that Bob Hope's death makes him the oldest-looking man alive.
Stephen Tucker, USA

As the water in front him started to turn a funny colour, Bobby decided it was best not to try and catch Sharron Davies.
Mark, London

'Well', thought Bobby, 'if they won't publish a wonderfully topical comment about Sharron Davies' admission to peeing in the pool, you might as well revert to the usual tosh about superglue'.
Mark, London

Little Bobby cries a river after he hears that Bob Hope died.
Stephen Tucker, USA

Trailing Sharon Davis in the veteran mixed relay leaves a sour taste in Bobbys mouth.
James Atkinson, Sheffield, UK

It isn't only Newcastle's pre season form that has taken a dip.
Mark, Ludlow

With a wry smile, Sir Bobby adopts Sharon Davis's tactics as he competes in the Over 90's Swimathon, leaving a yellow trail as he goes.
Max, UK

Chelsea's sharks were only supposed to be after my midfield.
Tony H, Merseyside, UK