Caption Competition 155

Duncan Fletcher reveals a new training tool during a net session.

The England cricket coach certainly had his hands full as he lead his side's preparations for their crucial NatWest Series encounter with Zimbabwe in Bristol.

What exactly is going on here then?

Cap comp veteran Rob Morris came up trumps this week, with this little gem:

Pictures of 'little Duncan' playing with a cricket ball, aged one, proved he hadn't changed a bit.

Well done Rob! Your goody bag is on its way.

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Cap comp classics

BEST IN CATEGORY NEWSFLASH - Ashley, UK, silenced after infamous superglue saboteur attacks his keyboard Royter, England

Duncan was clearly determined not to lose his key-ring again.
C. Hunter, England

That's it, if you're not going to play properly, I'm gonna take my ball in!
Peter Brown, England

Once in the nets, England's batsmen discover the automated bowler has been replaced by Leslie Nielson's 'Naked Gum'-ball machine.
Adrian Wade, Canada

...following the incident, police are on the lookout for a dark-haired man of medium height carrying an empty SpaceHopper bag and a tube of Super Glue.
John Lewis, Finland

Duncan: "I'm not Leslie Neilson and neither am I superglued to this giant snooker ball."
Si Griffin, UK

Fletcher reflects on the inevitable avalanche of 'large red object superglued to Leslie Nielsen' comments heading his way.
Mark, London

This week's superglue incident sees Fletcher welded to his giant frisby.
I. Diot, England

You would have thought that after 154 caption competitions the super glue joke might have been wearing thin.
Ashley, UK

After examining the thickness of an abandoned superglue joke, Duncan proclaims that it has not even started to wear thin.
I. Diot, England

Sorry, Ashley, but the whole point of superglue is that it never wears thin.
Stephen Tucker, USA

NEWSFLASH - Ashley, UK, silenced after infamous superglue saboteur attacks his keyboard.
Royter, England

A large red dot was used to obscure me in the crowd as punishment for my superglue related blasphemy.
Ashley, UK

Gobstopper manufacturer denies bribing BBC Caption Competition photographer.
Martin Mills, Morpeth

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Belly laughs

BEST IN CATEGORY Fletcher's swollen appendix was really starting to get in the way David, London

Duncan Fletcher bravely demonstrates the dangers of having your belly button pierced by a disreputable salon.
Nicola Chisholm, UK

Fletcher answers "yellow-belly" accusations.
David W, London

Fletcher proves spectacularly that he does have the guts for the game.
Mike Goudge, U.K.

Nah! A gall stone?
G Bolton, Ashton-in-Makerfield

Suddenly, with a loud twang that reverberated around the ground, Duncan Fletcher's corset finally gave way.
Clare Daniele, Wales

The unexpected appearance of an abdomen was soon followed by the arrival of John Prescott.
C. Hunter, England

Double chins and double beer bellies.
Stephen Tucker, USA

"And I plan to sue the food industry for my hyper-obesity."
Andy, England

Fletcher's swollen appendix was really starting to get in the way.
David, London

Duncan's belly button ring was clearly infected.
Tom, England

Duncan's definitely got an "outie"
Clare Daniele, Wales

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Pun Fun

BEST IN CATEGORY Wade family submits ten puns to Cap Comp hoping to win BBC Sport Goodie Bag, but no pun in-ten-did Wade family, Canada

It's for the England team. It's a hard cheese.
Marc Alexander, Wales

Fletcher unknowingly brings a new meaning to the word 'all rounder'.
Natalie Boardman, Birkenhead, UK

Fletcher slightly misses the point in his response to the criticism of "not having big enough balls for the job".
Daniel B, Barnet

"All in all it's just a, another blip with the ball!"
Rick Baker, Grimsby, UK

Ball-Loon Artist.
Mike Goudge, U.K.

As Duncan began to float he was satisfied that Red Ball does indeed give you wings.
Nick Pont, Harefield, Middx

Fletcher's googly was the most impressive in the game.
Si Griffin, UK

The transition from cricket ball to beach ball was 'seamless'.
Si Griffin, UK

England's training methods were sheer balloonacy.
Martin Mills, Morpeth

Duncan Fletcher turned up for training at nine o'clock on the dot.
Neal Berridge, UK

Evidence of ball tampering appeared highly inflated.
Graham Small, Wales

Wade family submits ten puns to Cap Comp hoping to win BBC Sport Goodie Bag, but no pun in-ten-did.
Wade family, Canada

Duncs demonstrates the flight path of a lead balloon for the benefit of the Wade family and other American cap comp joke teams!
Gary, Northern Ireland

I get invited to one of David Gower's big society balls and this is all it is?
Clare Daniele, Wales

Fletcher visits the Big Apple.
C. Hunter, England

And they said England didn't have big enough balls to win!
Stephen Tucker, USA

Fletcher dreams of another measle-y score for Zimbabwe.
Adrian Wade, Canada

Duncan: Doctor, Doctor, I keep on seeing giant snooker balls coming at me! - Doctor: Get to the end of the cue...
Adrian Wade, Canada

Some commentators say the body-line bowling controversy was blown out of all proportion.
Adrian Wade, Canada

Duncan: "Ah, you must be Tracey's buoy..."
Adrian Wade, Canada

Ticket prices weren't the only thing suffering from inflation at this year's NatWest Series competition.
Adrian Wade, Canada

ECB denies massive drug problem.
Martin Mills, Morpeth

Abscess makes the heart grow fonder.
Si Griffin, UK

Fletcher was having a ball.
Si Griffin, UK

Duncan disputes anyone who claims his teams' balloon will burst soon!
Sarah L, UK

Another giant ball's up by the England coaching staff.
Si Griffin, UK

Duncan Fletcher reveals the ECB's plans to 'hatch' new cricking talent.
James Cameron, London

Slam Duncan.
Nick, London

Duncan: "The advert said that 'Red ball gives you wins'".
Si Griffin, UK

Fletcher toys with a ball for players whose eyesight would prevent them from joining the 20Twenty side.
Matt Martin, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia

Duncan is literally "bowled over"
James Atkinson, Sheffield, UK

Hernia today, gone tomorrow!
Clare Daneie, Wales

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Mini-me

BEST IN CATEGORY The final of the dwarves' ten-pin bowling championships was a tense affair Alex, Liverpool

Duncan never believed that you shrank when you got old until he picked up his first yo-yo for forty years.
Shawn Skellon, W-S-M

"Shrunken" Duncan regretted going in the slips.
Gareth Lewis, Reading

Honey I Shrunk the Coach.
Chris Troth, Droitwich Spa

"Wait till you see the stumps..."
Colin McPherson, Edinburgh

The final of the dwarves' ten-pin bowling championships was a tense affair.
Alex, Liverpool

The Crucible hires a dwarf for ball testing ahead of the World Snooker Championships.
Michael, Perth, Australia

Fletcher was wondering whether buying a "full size" snooker table was a good idea.
Matt Martin, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia

The referee racked up the reds at the Giant's world snooker championships.
Ollie B, Southampton

If you think this is big, you should see the snooker table.
Nick, London

The England cricket team's new shrinking ray allowed their coach to examine the ball more thoroughly.
James Cameron, London

The ECB regretted hiring Tom Thumb as a coach after another serious injury during training.
Alex Rose, UK

Gulliver's snooker table was no place for the England Cricket Coach.
Si Griffin, UK

We should never have let the team from Brobdinag bring their own equipment
Rob Falconer, Wales

The Japanese announce they have successfully miniaturised a snooker referee.
Marc Alexander, Wales

After doing the bidding of a bottle labelled "drink me", Fletcher shrank to six inches in height.
C. Hunter, England

Fletcher comprimises with the opposing coach during England's tour of The Land of the Giants
Tim Taylor, Wimbledon

Cricket was slowly gaining popularity amongst the hobbits.
Andy, England

England might not win much, but at least they held the record for the world's smallest cricket coach.
Martin Mills, Morpeth

As the day of their first Test match approached, the Lilliput coach began to realise that his players' inexperience at this level would probably be the least of their problems.
Simon, Hitchin

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Say what you see

BEST IN CATEGORY Duncan holds Lineker's "ear bag" while he relieves himself on a nearby tree Stephen Tucker, USA

Wow, I wish mine needed a "censor spot" that big...
Rob, Newcastle

D'you know, I genuinely had forgotten that life-raft in my pocket.
Rob Falconer, Wales

Although Fletcher appeared to be thinking, his empty thought bubble betrayed the truth.
C. Hunter, England

In quiet moments, Fletcher would nostalgically play with one of Geoff Boycott's gobstoppers.
Daniel B, Barnet

Duncan Fletcher regrets swallowing his bubble gum before practice.
Daniel B, Barnet

Duncan Fletcher contemplates the return of Alec Stewart behind the stumps with the introduction of a more age friendly ball.
Will Tuft, Ivybridge

Bobby Robson discovers the whoopee cushion Lineker was sitting on last week.
Alex, Liverpool

OK lads, not bad, but remember the Aussies will be using a smaller one. It's a little bit harder to catch.
Sean, Singapore

It was later revealed that Darren Gough was responsible for the tomfoolery with the giant tomatoes.
Mick Parker, Hong Kong

Duncan reveals the new superball that even Michael Vaughan can hit.
Don Clarkson, Birmingham

To be England cricket coach, you need the world's largest stress ball.
Trevor, Preston, UK

The latest English invention 'the super-size cricket ball' appears to have solved the LBW problem forever.
Mal Walker, Australia

Duncan wasn't quite ready to eat his lunch of Giant Edam because he hadn't quite digested yesterday's yet.
Nick Pont, Harefield, Middx

And the tomato-growing team from England triumph again.
Gareth, Herts

Duncan tried to press the red button to get interactive but it didn't work.
Steve Godrich, UK

Fletcher's tennis elbow showed no signs of abating.
Gerry Slawson, UK

The BBC balls up the spot the ball competition.
Mike, UK

I'd better phone my doctor and tell him my haemorrhoids are on the move again.
Clare Daniele, Llandough, Wales

Fletcher uses his sky active button to access the latest news and information.
Lee, London

Latest technology provides England with inflatable cricket coach.
Steve Shorthose, Scotter

Duncan wasn't sure if he should be more concerned about being impaled on a giant smartie or the hand protruding from his chest.
Si Griffin, UK

Duncan looks in amazement as a 70-foot clown's nose comes free and nearly kills him.
Ben Westoby, Grantham

After two years on the NHS waiting list, Duncan's "harmless swelling" was becoming hard to ignore.
C. Hunter, England

Financial cutbacks were vital - but problems arose with the inflatable coach.
C. Hunter, England

The World Heavy Weight Yo-Yo championships get underway.
Ed, UK

The photographer catches the moment of impact in "Cricket Coach Dodgeball."
Stephen Tucker, USA

Duncan holds Lineker's "ear bag" while he relieves himself on a nearby tree.
Stephen Tucker, USA

Fletcher experiments with a bowling attack of the killer tomatoes.
Diana Dewar, Canada

Mr. Fletcher is not immediately sure about what to do with Shane Waugh's gobstopper...
Diana Dewar, Canada

What ever I put, it won't get published. So here goes, Fletcher manages to turn Trescothick into a giant, bouncy cricket ball.
Luke Byrne, England

Despite not rating the Dutch as much of a cricket team, Duncan was quite partial to their cheese.
Mark Mullaly, Birmingham, UK

Outgunned at last year's Tomatina festival, Duncan was going well-armed this time.
Martin Mills, Morpeth

England players found Duncan's controversial Smarties diet hard to swallow.
Martin Mills, Morpeth

Duncan Fletcher shows the spoils of coming off best after a heated argument with a giant clown.
Michael, Perth, Australia

I knew we should never had signed that sponsorship deal with The GM Cherry Corporation.
Naomi, York

Ok lads, the plan is to distract the opposition by squeezing this spot at the vital moment.
Naomi, York

Cricket's latest ball-tampering row: Startling picture evidence unveiled!
GMcD, Edinburgh

Due to there being no winners last week, BBC Sport's "Spot The Ball" contest was made a bit easier.
Neal Berridge, UK

A technical error blights the re-composed illustration for the "Spot the Ball" competition.
Tall Tone, Chelmsford, England

Duncan Fletcher adds the final piece to the world's largest clown's face.
Trevor, Preston, UK

Always a keen gardener, Duncan displays one of his genetically modified tomatoes.
C. Hunter, England

After an unexpected glitch in the solar system, Fletcher examines Mars with interest.
C. Hunter, England

Watching England play proved the funniest thing on Comic Relief in years.......
Ashley, UK

Fletcher reveals the solution to Zimbabwe's anticipated batting defence.
C. Hunter, England

Duncan Fletcher finally decides to enter the 'largest yo-yo in the world' championships.
Ollie B, Southampton

Unsubtle product placement of "Finish Powerballs" lead to calls that cricket was getting too commercial.
Ashley, UK

To raise money for cricket in this country the TCCB put on a low budget re-make of the prisoner
Shawn Skellon, W-s-M

It turns out that Mars wasn't that far away after all.
Si Griffin, UK

In a moment of nostalgia, Fletcher arrived on his trusty space-hopper.
C. Hunter, England

The unfortunate mosquito was full to bursting!
Si Griffin, UK

You are witnessing the first wicket taken using coaches as stumps, brace yourself Duncan....
Ollie B, Southampton

"Well Richie, as Hawkeye clearly shows if Duncan Fletcher was in fact the height of a stump that last delivery from Darren would have removed his bails"
Gary, N Ireland

Duncan was worried that the England team would not be allowed to use the new 'easy to hit' balls in the match.
William, UK

This year's cheese-rolling event was sponsored by Edam.
Grae, Feltham

Duncan brings an aniseed ball to pep up the lads.
Rick Baker, Grimsby, UK

Comic Relief provides Duncan with no relief.
Rick Baker, Grimsby, UK

Hollywood announces Duncan Fletcher is to star in a remake of "The Prisoner."
Clare Daniele, Wales

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Mistaken Identity

BEST IN CATEGORY Bernie Winters never quite felt the same about his new pet as he did with Schnorbitz Alan Coleman, Cheshire

Unable to contain her boredom any longer, Cherie Blair yawned widely.
C. Hunter, England

Jimmy "five bellies" couldn't make it to watch Gazza in China......
Ashley, UK

Bernie Winters never quite felt the same about his new pet as he did with Schnorbitz!
Alan Coleman, Cheshire

Paul Daniels is drafted in to up team morale.
James Atkinson, Sheffield, UK

As the years begin to catch up with him, Lance Armstrong tries out a revolutionary new bicycle design in the hope of gaining a few extra minutes on the peleton.
John Lewis, Finland

During the summer break Santa always gave Rudolph's nose a good polish.
Alex, Liverpool

Doug Ellis still hasn't woken up.
Alex, Liverpool

Michael Jordan was some what less impressive in real life.
Ashley, UK

Michael Winner fails to impress in his attempts to sell Esure's new cricket insurance......
Ashley, UK

They got my operation mixed up with Jordan's.
Rob Falconer, Wales

Fletcher's impression of Mike Gatting never failed to amuse.
Grae, Feltham

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Regulars' banter

BEST IN CATEGORY Stephen Tucker gets to grips with the English's version of baseball David, London

'Gong Show' and 'Dead Doug' double Cap Comp winner, Max, UK, is pictured here playing with his Goody Bag prize, having retired from being funny anymore.
Max, UK

The Caption judges finally run out of David Beckham pictures for the Caption Competition.
Gareth, Herts

Oooh you are awful...but I like you...despite being a big red ball.
James Atkinson, Sheffield, UK

Young Duncan plays with his ball, waiting for next week's Cap Comp to start with a better picture.
Stephen Tucker, USA

Fletcher discovers a rare Griffin egg, purposefully left behind for the Cap Comp by Si...
Adrian Wade, Canada

Si Griffin discovers the BBC Sport goody bag is not all that it's cracked up to be.
Clare Daniele, Wales

Duncan tries out a giant yo-yo, featuring the patented Slawson Enterprises invisible string.
John Lewis, Finland

Doctors confirm first symptom of Seriously Excessive Caption Submission Syndrome is seeing large red spots before your eyes.
Martin Mills, Morpeth

Police issue photo of suspect in theft of Tracy Edward's and Si Griffin's mooring buoys.
Martin Mills, Morpeth

Duncan wasn't expecting a broadside from the cannon on Si Griffins yacht.
James Atkinson, Sheffield, UK

Stephen Tucker gets to grips with the English's version of baseball.
David, London

Duncan Fletcher adds a humorous item to the BBC Sport goody bag.
Trevor, Preston, UK

That would be my inflated ego after winning a 'best in category' last time!
Andy, England

Cap. Comp. editors choose a picture to reduce their workload!
Martin Rose, Newcastle, England

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Miscellaneous

BEST IN CATEGORY Pictures of 'little Duncan' playing with a cricket ball, aged one, proved he hadn't changed a bit Rob Morris, UK

Duncan muses on how many fat/Robert Key jokes people can come up with.
James Atkinson, Sheffield, UK

Until now, Fletcher hadn't believed in the dangers associated with cramped aircraft seats.
C. Hunter, England

After falling sales of Comic Relief "Red Noses" Lenny Henry has a bright idea.
Paul Fennell, Cambridge

And that, Uri, is how to levitate a giant red ball.
Darren Farr, Billericay, England

The sun sets on Duncan's career.
Mitesh Shah, England

There there Robert, I'm sure you'll get some runs one day.
Richard Pasco, Uk

What does the man who controls the England cricket team and has our cricketing destiny in his hands, think about? "Boing, boing, boing......."
Rob Morris, UK

Duncan Fletcher wonders what he's doing wrong as Robert Key misses another half volley.
Phil Mann, Coventry

Wicket? with this small ball? Impossible!
Sahm, Saudi Arabia

What Duncan had done with the rest of the giant traffic light was anyone's guess.
Si Griffin, UK

It wasn't so much the new bag that troubled Duncan - it was finding the shoes to match.
Nick, London

TV companies admit 'stump cam' can sometimes create a false sense of perspective.
Martin Mills, Morpeth

Disappointed with being dropped, Robert Key tries to cause a coronary using a big balloon and large pin.
James Atkinson, Sheffield, UK

Worried looks are exchanged as Duncan begins to take all his advice from a big red ball.
James Atkinson, Sheffield, UK

"I'd better hide this before Tuffers finds it!"
Tara, UK

Fletcher has a cunning plan up his sleeve when entering the clay pigeon tournament.
Dave Baker, Southend, Essex

Duncan Fletcher reveals concerns that crickets' new innovations might have gone a bit too far.
Colin McPherson, Edinburgh

The corny joke Duncan comes out with for a group of Japanese cricket fans goes down like a red baroon.
John Lewis, Finland

Duncan is suitably relieved that John Lewis doesn't do an election gag for his Japanese friends.
Si Griffin, UK

Duncan explaining to Si Griffin that "election" jokes for Japanese cricket fans would never stand up in court.
John Lewis, Finland

Duncan Fletcher laments the day he bit the handles off his space-hopper.
Mark Ternan, Nottingham, England

99 dreams I have had. In every one a red balloon...
Stephen Tucker, USA

"Who cares about the cap comp, if anyone can work out what I'm actually doing they deserve a prize."
Dunc, St Guy's hernia ward

Strike it rich wasn't really the same with out Michael Barrymore.
Ashley, UK

Pictures of 'little Duncan' playing with a cricket ball, aged one, proved he hadn't changed a bit.
Rob Morris, UK

The new style of security tag on cricket shirts meant that the shoplifter wasn't going to get very far.
Neal Berridge, UK

Duncan uses his new ACME FunTime Ant Killer with relish.
Max, UK

Fletcher's levitating giant red ball trick impressed all that watched that day.
Mike Duncan, Perth, Australia

Duncan Fletcher was ready to unveil his secret weapon...the red M&M.
Mike Duncan, Perth, Australia

The infra-red photography soon revealed who was looking innocent while breaking wind.
I. Diot, England

Only forensic image enhancement exposed Fletcher's UFO prank as a clever hoax.
C. Hunter, England

The England cricket team, brought to you in association with new king-size Babybell. Andy, England

Sales of the Harry Potter series action figure "Blodger with a Codger" were brisker than expected.
Adrian Wade, Canada

Despite repeated appeals to the crowd, nobody admitted losing a giant cherry.
C. Hunter, England

Poised with pin in hand, Fletcher's final moments are captured by the Cap Comp camera.
C. Hunter, England

Duncan Fletcher still trying to work out Gary Lineker's new balls joke.
Jeremy Dallyn, Finland

Robert Key's international career goes into free fall after Duncan asks if he could manage to hit this one!
Monty, Ireland

Duncan 'Laa-laa' Fletcher still looking apprehensive after his coming out, even though the lads have pledged their full support.
Jeremy Dallyn, Finland

Duncan practices his powers of levitation... Next, Key's scoring...
Adrian Wade, Canada

"Yeah I got it off e-bay, and look, it's even been signed by Tinky Winky."
Alex Rose, UK

Even using a large ball, England were all out for 32.
Steve Godrich, UK

Something is different with Duncan today... must be a new hat!
Stephen Tucker, USA

Fletcher boils over.
Stephen Tucker, USA

....Wait until you see the size of the box you're gonna have to wear!
Curly, Barnet

The BBC goody bag really wasn't what Duncan expected.
Sarah L, UK

The ICC call Fletcher to account over allegations of ball-tampering.
Tim Taylor, Wimbledon

Alien 4 is realised to a somewhat quiet reception.
Rick Baker, Grimsby, UK

Duncan has a plan to keep his dog entertained during the match!
Rick Baker, Grimsby, UK

Duncan mourns the passing of Bo Bo the Clown.
Sarah L, UK

Duncan used to laugh when his mother told him that if he ate too many tomatoes he'd end up looking like one.
Si Griffin, UK

With the wet outfield, the sponge-like quality of the new ball became apparent.
Alan Baxter, Hyde, Cheshire

The new cricket ball for the 'cool' 20/20 series was just another thing the traditionalists disagreed with.
David, London

The new innvoation of Beach-ball cricket was a step too far.
GMcD, Edinburgh

"If you think this is big, you should see the size of the new Smarty box!"
C. Hunter, England

Human Bar Billiards was one of the more obscure training sessions.
Si Griffin, UK

Duncan Fletcher isn't very impressed by John Virgo's new trick shot.
Lee, London

"And they still can't hit the thing"
Ashley, UK

"I have to take two of these after meals?"
Matt Martin, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia

Duncan Fletcher explains what a partial solar eclipse is.
Grae, Feltham

Duncan's powers of telekinesis were legendary.
Max, UK

Fletcher takes the bowling term "bouncer" to new extremes.
Roger, UK

OK Key. See if you can hit this one then.
Matthew Wassell, England

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Sur-really great

BEST IN CATEGORY A vengeful Fletcher toys with Zebadee's decapitated head, following England's humiliating defeat by the Magic Roundabout first XI Martin Mills, Morpeth

There once was a cricket coach called Duncan,
Who woke one morning feeling shrunken,
He picked up a bat,
It fell, he went splat,
This is so surreal, I must be drunken.
Rob Morris, UK

"No, I asked for a DEAD BABOON."
Martin Mills, Morpeth

Look mate... (mumble) I'll get you in the team... (mumble mumble) can't be worse than that Key...
Gareth, Herts

"Fee, fi, fo, fum,
I've got helium in my tum!
It looks so very rum,
I'd better call my English-mum!"
Faustino, Brisbane, Australia

"There, there, I'm sure something else will soon come along." Duncan Fletcher consoles sacked kareoke lyric dot.
Andrew, Watford, UK

To raise money for cricket in this country the TCCB put on a low budget re-make of the prisoner
Shawn Skellon, W-s-M

When Babybells attack...
Richard Pasco, Uk

A vengeful Fletcher toys with Zebadee's decapitated head, following England's humiliating defeat by the Magic Roundabout first XI.
Martin Mills, Morpeth

The only trick I've managed to teach him is "roll over".
Andrew, Watford, UK

Duncan: "And this here is a scaled model of Peter Schmeichel's nose."
Mitesh Shah, England

The boil was desperate to have the unsightly man removed.
Gerry Slawson, UK

Big tummies needed? Bigger the tummy, greater the hunger?
Sarfraz Khatib, Mumbai, India

"Iron Fist" Duncan takes discipline to a new level with a new inflatable sin bin.
James Atkinson, Sheffield, UK

Duncan would not have jumped on the Space Hopper had he realised how sharp the handles were.
Si Griffin, UK

Duncan demonstrates how the humble balloon can save a player having to leave the pitch for the toilet during a match.
David W, London

The greater red-throated tit's mating ritual distracts the crowd from the game momentarily.
David W, London

Hello, is that Mr Blair?... Tony, it's about the WMD. Forget the smallpox. We've just found a case of bigpox, and it's going to burst in 45 minutes.
Adrian Wade, Canada

Giant-sized model of Duncan Fletcher collides with Mars.
Darren Farr, Billericay, England

To his horror, Duncan noticed that the laser sight from the new Terminator's gun had been vastly improved.
Neal Berridge, UK

Nice watch.
Gareth, Herts

Duncan polishes the shoes of the invisible man as he stands astride the new Hover Ball.
John Lewis, Finland

Bob the red rubber ball shows off his new human pet, Duncan.
Stephen Tucker, USA

Ravenous leech lunches on England coach.
C. Hunter, England

Eddo Brandes' mystery ball flummoxes Fletcher.
Anirban Mukhopadhyay, USA

Fletcher consoles a giant Rudolph who wasn't allowed to play in this year's reindeer games.
Brian Lang, Chicago, USA

Chaos broke out in Mr Man land as Mr Greedy underwent a sudden transformation.
Si Griffin, UK

There were suggestions of shenanigans at the NatWest Series this year, as Zimbabwe were accused of using their infamous miniaturisation ray on Duncan Fletcher as he was about to catch the ball.
Max, UK

Rudolph's nose became visible when stroked.
Martin Mills, Morpeth

Oh look, how funny, it's a clip from the new walkers crisp advert where Lineker turns into a ball and bounces off Fletcher's chest.
Lee, London

Duncan couldn't seem to stop the balloon inflating out of his trousers as he prepared his tea time magic tricks
Ollie B, Southampton

Fletcher was more than a bit surprised when his 'biggest bubble gum bubble in the world' record attempt, sponsored by Vodafone, ended when he swallowed his gum and the bubble just kept on expanding.
David, London

An angry pac man starts laying into Duncan Fletcher.
Lee, London

Duncan Fletcher announces he is the first cricket coach to be fitted with an air-bag.
Rob Falconer, Wales

Time to change your colostomy bag, eh, Duncan ?
Clare Daniele, Wales