Caption Competition 149

New Aston Villa boss David O'Leary faces the press with club chairman 'Deadly' Doug Ellis.

Aston Villa finished the Premiership season just three points above the drop zone, and it wasn't long before boss Graham Taylor vacated the managerial hotseat.

Ex-Leeds gaffer David O'Leary was the man to step into the breach, but looked nervous as he faced the press flanked by his new boss Doug Ellis.

This week's top jokester is Max, UK, whose witty take on the chairman's moniker got top marks from our three most learned cap comp judges:

New Aston Villa boss David O'Leary faces the press with club chairman 'Dead' Doug Ellis

Well done to Max, who joins the exclusive gang of Sport Interactive goody bag owners.

But let's not forget our runners-up - keep those used tenners coming Ed Duffy - plus the best of the rest.

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Second Place, and Long Service Award: Rob Falconer, Wales
And to make up the financial shortfall, we are now producing exclusive personalised Villa shirts for dogs.

Third Place: Ed Duffy, Birmingham
O'Leary: "Quick, Mr Nielsen, this Tango is invisibly superglued to my mouth. I'm a football manager... get me out of here!"
Ed Duffy: "That does it! That caption-writing software's going straight back to the shop next week."

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The best of the rest:

David finally began to realise he had misread the application form and this wasn't the Blackburn job after all...
Luke Bennett, Nuneaton

"Roll up folks, just hit one beer mat to win a prize, all three for the old duffer!"
Rick Baker, Grimsby, UK

"All in all you're just a, 'nother shirt upon the wall".
Rick Baker, Grimsby, UK.

"Eyes down...."
Rick Baker, Grimsby, UK.

"Punch and Judy are now sponsored by Rover"
Rick Baker, Grimsby, UK.

"P please, Bob"
Bobby Ryder, Solihull

The excitement of the Champions League final hits the Villa boardroom.
Bobby Ryder, Solihull

Managers' Survival Tip #149: Never, ever finish the table water after the boss consumes a Phal curry...
Adrian Wade, Canada

Aston Villa's new coconut shy goes down a treat with supporters.
Rob Falconer, Wales

Hey, David, I've just read the small print from the BBC: The BBC may edit your comments and cannot guarantee that all emails will be published.
Darren Starkey, England

Doug beats off yet another pretender to the Villa Park 'Down in One' crown.
Paul Jones, Midlands

Competition entrant identifies namesake's penchant for putting other cap-comp entrants down.
John Lewis, UK

The board aren't convinced it's Doug saying: "gargggle, give Gavid geighty gillion to gend, gargggle".
Gav, UK

O'Leary: "Deadly Doug?... he looks armless to me..."
Ollie B, UK

Ellis asks David for questions before hiring him: Name? Previous club? New clubs name? Cigarette extinguishing device? To which O'Leary answers: "O'Leary leeds Villa ashtray".
Mike Goudge, U.K.

An age-old Chad strikes again with a "Wot no money?" scrawled on the Villa press conference wall.
Mike Goudge, U.K.

From flirting with the Champions League to flirting with the Nationwide League.
Mitesh Shah, England

David misconstrued when told he'd need glasses before signing his new managerial contract.
Andrew Rimmer, Preston

O'Dreary.
Tom, Ipswich

Doug acted like he had nothing to do with the hilarious "glue-on-the-new-boys-glass" trick.
Mark Tiernan, Nottingham, England

David lets sleeping Dougs lie.
Si Griffin, UK

Dave and Doug were doing a roaring trade at the "who wants to play for Aston Villa" recruitment day.
Frank, Dublin, Ireland

Doug: That bra is to remind you that I expect some cups this year!
Martin Rose, Newcastle, England

So why is part of my job description testing your drink, I'm sure the staff like you lots Doug.
Robbo, Brum

David felt a bit out of place at the Aston Villa Pensioners Association Annual Dinner.
Luke Bennett, Nuneaton

Villa are a very health-conscious club. Even the drinks are checked. In fact, this water I'm drinking has been personally passed by our chairman here.
Rob Falconer, Wales

O'Leary was unaware that Doug was deducting the cost of the drink from his wages.
Ibi, UK

Celebrity 'It's a Knockout' was getting exciting after both Doug and David flew through the 'game of pairs on the wall' and the 'drink 10 waters' challenge. But the decider will be the 'dress a sumo in a Villa top' game.
Steve Godrich, UK

Ed Duffy's latest bout of captions really excite the caption comp jury.
Rick E., UK

Doug was literally bored to death after yet another 'R OVER' gag in Caption Comp 149.
Si Griffin, UK

The mystery of why this page has not been updated recently is finally solved as Caption Comp judge is caught sleeping on the job.
Si Griffin, UK

And, after my glass of water, Doug and I will play 'Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Old Oak Tree.'
Rob Falconer, Wales

Doug and David wait patiently for the BBC to update the Caption Compeition page.
Mitesh Shah, England

Ellis: "We are signing a couple of Siamese internationals but sadly they couldn't be with us today"
Peter Ricci, St Albans, Hertfordshire

Things are tight and we have less space at the ground now, so I'm just clearing Merson's locker out.
Peter Ricci, St Albans, Hertfordshire

The Popstars judges react to One True Voice's new single.
Neill, Croydon

New Aston Villa boss David O'Leary faces the press with club chairman 'Dead' Doug Ellis.
Max, UK

O'Leary was unaware that Doug was resetting the passenger eject button.
Ibi, UK

Silent but Deadly.
Bobby Ryder, Solihull

Slawson Enterprises lawyers prepare litigation against Steve Robson for using "the invisible man" slogan without a license.
John Lewis, Finland

Doug's saying: "No David, that's not the sponsor. It means your days of being a big spender 'R' OVER".
Mark Mullaly, Birmingham, UK

Well David, this won't be the last time we will both be looking over the edge while I'm in charge.
Peter Quait, Hull

David was completely unaware of the trap door opening.
James Atkinson, Sheffield, UK

Doug finally works out how to switch his phone on.
Bobby Ryder, Solihull

The Popstars judges are less than impressed with the performance of young Darius.
Bobby Ryder, Solihull

O'Leary makes one last attempt at signing Gazza.
Bobby Ryder, Solihull

O'Leary celebrated with a drink, as he accompanied Doug Ellis to see the opera in their especially decorated box.
Steve Kirk, Leicester

As Doug explains his vision of the future for Aston Villa, David has to drink some water to hide his laughter.
Rob Falconer, Wales

Yes, I can confirm we are currently in the market for transfers. As you can see, David has a lot of doublers in his beer mat collection and would like to do some 'swopsies.'
Rob Falconer, Wales

Doug Ellis: "When you have emptied that glass David, you had better take it around and ask for donations....you'll need them."
Dave, Coventry

O'Leary 'Only 45 points last season!' Doug 'Well, it would have got us 10th place in the Eurovision Song Contest.'
Neill, Croydon

"We would like to announce our new signing, Gazza's mate, Mr Ten Bellies!"
Rick Baker, Grimsby, UK

"Can I have a vowel please Carol."
Rick Baker, Grimsby, UK

O'Leary lunges for the bottle as deadly Doug announces a lucrative new sponsorship deal from Battersea Dogs Home...
Jeremy Dallyn, Finland

Doug and David sat on a wall, Doug and David had a great fall, with all that drinking they'll see double vision, no wonder they are at the bottom of the Premier Division.
Josie Jones, Balsall Common

As Blofeld stroked the white cat on his lap, Bond nonchalantly sipped his Vodka Martini.
Mark Mullaly, Birmingham, UK

Ellis doesn't take kindly to the reporter who asked why there was a big pile of shirt sitting at the desk.
Michael O'Connor, England

Please print one of mine or I'll have to resort to Leslie Nielsen jokes!
Alex, Liverpool

O'Leary: Vassel's injured on the treatment table? What is it? Ellis: A big square thing in the physio's office, but that's not important right now.
Alex, Liverpool

"We are delighted to announce this brick wall as our new goalie."
Richard Pasco, UK

"This is a stupid idea, you know the dog can't read."
Paul Miles, Hounslow

Doug keeps his head down as he realises his urine sample for the doctor's wasn't where he'd left it...
Max, UK

"You'll all laugh at this, I'll gargle my transfer budget. ZEROOOOOO..."
Stuart Cant, Willenhall

Doug: "David was top on our list of potential managers from the start." Reporter: "So you are pleased to unveil O'Leary as the new boss." Doug: "Oh no - we wanted David Moyes."
Mark Tiernan, Nottingham, England

Doug: "Eyes down for a full house." David: "Fat chance at Villa Park."
Darren Farr, Billericay, England

David O'Leary drops a major hint about playing a 'flat-back' four.
Steve Godrich, UK

David: "Well my boys are still young, they are still naive at this level. They are still on a learning curve, they'll get better with experience..." Doug: "Don't start that again."
Mark Tiernan, Nottingham, England

With his memory not too bad today it finally dawned on Deadly Doug that the Irish O'Someone manager he secured wasn't the good one from Celtic.
Simon Tolerton, N Ireland

Late one night, when we were all in bed, David O'Leary sipped a pint with dread. The boss drew a breath, Then winked his eye and said, "There'll be a hot time in the old town tonight!"
Sharmaine Kruijver, Australia

David O'Leary plays down suggestions that Villa are Rover-rated.
Rob Falconer, Wales

Personalised Aston Villa shirts for dogs looked like a non-starter.
Ian Whitcombe, UK

Doug: "I guarantee as soon as the season starts, the fans will show David the same level of respect as me."
Mark Tiernan, Nottingham, England

Surely the word "Irish" has been cropped off the left of the picture?
Candy, London

"Myself and David are pleased to announce that in a couple of weeks we will be unveiling some BIG signings."
Mark Tiernan, Nottingham, England

Due to a shortfall in the budget, Aston Villa announce that they have had to start a small laundry business.
Rob Falconer, Wales

The BBCi caption competition judges were clearly enthralled by this week's entries.
Martin Mills, Morpeth

Ellis showed O'Leary the price of failure as they hoisted Graham Taylor's empty shirt out of the seething pool of piranahs.
Alex, Liverpool

Pavarotti, an Aston Villa fan? What gave you that daft idea?
Dave, Windsor

David regretted holding the press conference during nap time, as new star signing Frank Carson nodded off again.
Matt, Sheffield, UK

Ed Duffy's new speedboat comes out of Ellis' transfer budget, leaving O'Leary with 10p to spend on players.
Neill, Croydon

David gets nervous when he finds out Doug put all his spending funds on Tim Henman winning the French Open!
Sarah L, UK

Box office hit "The Matrix Reloaded" starred David O'Leary (right) as Neo and "Deadly" Michael Caine (left) as the chief Villa-in.
Adrian Wade, Canada

O'Leary to reporter; "Yes, Mr. Ellis always looks like this when the team's doing badly. Does he smile when they're doing well?...I don't know, I've only known him six years..."
Adrian Wade, Canada

Even off the field, the Villa defence was invisible.
Si Griffin, UK

As they were lowered into the tank, Houdini and his assistant seemed remarkably calm.
Si Griffin, UK

Lilliput United announce Gulliver as big summer signing.
Ollie Cameron and Harry, Perth W.A

The world's smallest sports photographer finally gets a photo on the Cap Comp page.
Ed Duffy, Birmingham, UK

O'Leary contemplates over a stiff drink the pro's and cons of calling an ambulance after Ellis passes out through his overly tight glasses cutting the blood flow off to his brain.
Mike Goudge, UK

Ellis snoozes, O'Leary boozes and Villa loses.
Mike Goudge, UK

O'Leary sits next to a new cold Bud' while behind him is a Carling plaque label.
Mike Goudge, U.K.

David: Do you think this photo of us is in anyway amusing? Doug: Zzzzzzzzzzz...
Si Griffin, UK

O'Leary politely pretended not to notice when Doug realised he'd forgotten to put his trousers on again.
J.P. McGuire, Thailand

Doug wasn't so sure that O'Leary's newspaper cut out men would convey the sort of image he'd hoped for.
J.P. McGuire, Thailand

O'Leary clearly has his work cut out to find (decent) players to fill the empty Villa shirts.
Mitesh Shah, England

In O'Leary's first P.R stunt he proves that if you throw enough shirt to the wall it sticks.
J.P. McGuire, Thailand

Fat Cat Deadly Doug denies the club is out of touch with the fans as he and O'Leary present the new children's shirts.
Ibi, London

O'Leary needed a stiff drink when he was told there were no funds available to replace Enckelman.
Alex, Liverpool

And to make up the financial shortfall, we are now producing exclusive personalised Villa shirts for dogs.
Rob Falconer, Wales

Doug Ellis: "You can fill that shirt with whoever you want, David. As long as they are free."
Paul Wilson, Hemel Hempstead

Doug Ellis: "The price of that drink is coming out of your transfer budget, David. That leaves you with £2.50."
Paul Wilson, Hemel Hempstead

As Doug drifted into unconsciousness, he vowed it would be the last time he challenged O'Leary to a drinking contest.
Si Griffin, UK

As Doug and David arrive at the press conference, they realise they have inadvertently run over half the team in their steam-roller
Rob Falconer, Wales

David regretted holding the press conference during nap time, as new star signing Frank Carson nodded off again.
Matt, Sheffield, UK

Audley Harrison's next opponent is announced
Bobby Ryder, Solihull

David and Doug show off their beer mat collection.
Bobby Ryder, Solihull

As the two boxers promote their latest fight, 'Dreary' O'Leary looks anxious as he faces the undefeated champion 'Deadly' Doug.
Paul Wilson, Hemel Hempstead

David O'Leary: with regard to your time at Leeds United, this court finds you guilty of managing a football club in a manner likely to cause a breach of the peace. Do you have anything to say before I pass sentence?
John Lewis, Finland

Claret and Blue.
David W, London

Hearing that O'Leary was too big for his boots, Ellis arranged for an extra large shirt for the new manager.
David W, London

O'Leary has great hopes that the new Aston Villa double-bed duvet and headboard set, unveiled today, will fund new players for the club.
David W, London

O'Leary wins drinking contest when opponent passes out.
Borris Von Enkleberger, U.S.A

In an ill-considered attempt to lighten the mood, O'Leary decides to blow up a condom.
Chris Hunter, England

For the first time this season Villa Park is packed, as the fans flock to see the result of the 'design a kit' competition.
Paul Wilson, Hemel Hempstead

David O'Leary takes his hourly dose of pills that give him delusions that Villa can reach Europe.
Paul Wilson, Hemel Hempstead

Rover.....ha, if we compared Villa with a dog it would be shitzu.
Will Dawe, UK

Given that the team play like big girls' blouses we thought they might as well wear them.
Nick B, London

Doug and David exhibit the world's largest dog collar.
Neal Berridge, UK

Doug was so excited about signing David, he almost stayed awake.
Martin Mills, Morpeth

"Lot 97, Two Bosko Balaban shirts - unused"
Mark Mullaly, Birmingham, UK

Dave pondered if his new salary would allow him to buy a better speedboat than Ed Duffy's.
Martin Mills, Morpeth

O'Leary: I drink, therefore I am.
Ellis: I think you've got Descartes before the horse, David.
John Lewis, Finland

Ellis begins to regret his latest replacement after seeing the back of O'Leary's shirt which read... Over tanned, over paid and over here.
Borris Von Enkleberger, U.S.A

David O'Leary is thinking. "Am I the only person that can see the large sky blue bikini top?"
David Dibb, UK

"I didn't do anything to your drink! I'm playing on my playstation!"
Sarah L, UK

O'Leary: "the club's new shirt offer is buy one, play on Saturday."
Paul Bessick, Croydon

The remains of past managers pinned to a board make O'Leary a little nervous.
Borris Von Enkleberger, U.S.A

O'Leary nearly choked on his Jameson's when Ellis produced the 'his and hers' night-shirts.
Simon Drury, France

David had impressed the board by volunteering to wash the kit this week.
Simon Drury, France

Big blue bras are in this season.
Cameron, Perth, W.A

The last thing Villa needs is a manager who can't hold on to Leeds.
Si Griffin, UK

Not a good start for O'Leary as he accidentally wears his chest wig outside of his clothes.
Si Griffin, UK

Having spotted a blonde to his left, David shows us where the 'leer' in O'Leary came from.
Si Griffin, UK

Unfortunately, 'The Good' couldn't make it to the reunion.
Si Griffin, UK

"Roll up, roll up! Stick a dart in a Carling playing card to win a pint!"
Si Griffin, UK

Doug and David announce that Aston Villa are pulling out of football and going into the outsize clothing market
Marc Alexander, UK

Well, gentlemen: we've avoided relegation. And now, for my next miracle, I need five loaves, two fish and 5,000 volunteers from the audience.
John Lewis, Finland

After several months of consultation, the kit designers came up with a way of keeping the team together.
Chris Hunter, England

David's drinking water whilst reciting the alphabet routine failed to impress his new boss.
Andy G, Norwich

David and Doug discover Aston Villa's promotion prospects are to be judged by the entire Eurovision jury.
Robert Lindsay, UK

David, it's the players who are supposed to dribble.
Clare Daniele, UK

You could at least have bought me a shirt in my size.
Clare Daniele, UK

David's ventriloquist act goes haywire after Doug's mechanical mouth fails to operate
Clare Daniele, UK

David, my teeth were in that glass!
Clare Daniele, UK

Worst fears were confirmed when it was revealed that Villa's new sponsor was O'Leary's dog.
Chris Hunter, England

"Looking on the bright side, we collected more points than Jemini".
I. Diot, England

David: Wow, you see that bird in the corner over there, not bad is she! Doug: No David, that's Angel.
Phil Loyd-Bushell, England

Lot 147 was Anne Widdecombe's brassiere.
Chris Hunter, England

David begins his sorrow-drowning as he realises just exactly what he's let himself in for.
Steve Robson, UK

"...and David feels sure that these new giant-sized kits will help us win the league."
Naomi, UK

"The ventriloquist drinks the water not the dummy."
Peter Hancock, Kingston upon Hull

Invisible man unveiled as Villa's first new signing under O'Leary.
Steve Robson, UK

To raise funds for new players, manager David O'Leary auctions off two replica team jerseys and a bust of Doug Ellis.
Nameless

Ellis knew that if you want to take Rover walkies, you need someone "with Leeds".
Adrian Wade, Canada

When I saw the shirts, I thought I was managing Blackburn.
Valerie Ganne, UK

It was the first time that the Kremlin May Day Parade had been sponsored by Aston Villa.
Adrian Wade, Canada

Uncertain of his future in football management, O'Leary brushes up his ventriloquist skills, practicing the old "gottle of geer" trick with his dummy "Rover".
John Lewis, Finland

From Leeds to Villa: out of the frying pan into the dire.
John Lewis, Finland

Doug's the mug with a beery O'Leary.
Ollie Raison, Perth, Western Australia

And it's goodnight from me...and it's goodnight from him.
John Lewis, Finland

That's a bit pessimistic, eh? You think Aston Villa's glory days R Over?
Robert Lindsay, UK

Discussing Aston Villa's great prospects, David O'Leary has to use a glass to hide his rapidly-elongating nose.
Robert Lindsay, UK

As David O'Leary drinks from the poisoned cup, he is about to find out why Doug Ellis is nicknamed 'Deadly'.
Valerie Ganne, UK

The Villa summer tour to Lilliput was welcomed by Mayor and deputy.
Ollie Raison, Perth, Western Australia

Rover unveil their latest two-seater convertible.
Steve Robson, UK

So how did you get the nickname Deadly, eh, Doug? Aaaaaaargh!
Valerie Ganne, UK

O'Leary tries not to look guilty as the sleeping pills in Ellis' drink take effect.
Si Griffin, UK

David took his impressive beer mat collection to every new club he joined.
Martin Mills, Morpeth

David is visibly rattled when a sarcastic journalist asks him, "How many months do you think you'll last? One, two, three, O'Leary?"
Ed Duffy, Birmingham, UK

And here's to Doug Ellis winning the 'World Smiler Of The Year'.
Phil Lloyd-Bushell, England

O'Leary reaches for the smelling salts after 'Silent But Deadly' Doug lets another one go.
Ed Duffy, Birmingham, UK

OK David, it's great to have you here. Now, the first item on the agenda is buy David Ginola back so he can fit in this shirt here.
Phil Lloyd-Bushell, England

O'Leary is pictured drinking from the poisoned chalice...
Ed Duffy, Birmingham, UK

O'Leary reaches for the smelling salts after 'Silent But Deadly' Doug lets another one go. Gottle of geer...
Rob Falconer, Wales

Ish water, honesht.
Rob Falconer, Wales

Will you please stop blowing bubbles, David?
Rob Falconer, Wales

When I said "press conference," David, I didn't mean you had to iron the shirts.
Rob Falconer, Wales

Ellis couldn't look any longer as O'Leary's disjointed nose was making him feel quite sick.
Si Griffin, UK

"Put that glass down David, before some idiot makes a pathetic joke about superglue".
Chris Hunter, England

O'Leary tries to shrug off yet another accident with the superglue.
I. Diot, England

Ellis and O'Leary wonder if they've done enough to star in the Caption Competition.
Chris Hunter, England

In the revamped media centre, the open plan urinals proved very popular.
Chris Hunter, England

Doug confirms that it was his neatly-displayed postcard collection that won David over in the end.
Naomi, UK

Doug: This is a good start for Villa and if things go well we hope to sign the bottom half of Mr O'Leary at Christmas.
Naomi, UK

To raise funds for new players, manager David O'Leary auctions off two replica team jerseys and a bust of Doug Ellis.
Adrian Wade, Canada

With shirts like these I can see why you had to get a new Taylor!
Adrian Wade, Canada

O'Leary's fabled duck hunting calls failed to impress boss Ellis any more than Graham Taylor's swansong.
Adrian Wade, Canada

And our new manager is the sort of man who eats glass for lunch.
Robert Lindsay, UK

Discussing Aston Villa's great prospects, David O'Leary has to use a glass to hide his rapidly-elongating nose.
Robert Lindsay, UK

As David O'Leary drinks from the poisoned cup, he is about to find out why Doug Ellis is nicknamed 'Deadly'.
Valerie Ganne, UK

Well firstly I reckon we should change our shirts from proclaiming Aston Villa R Over.
Robert Lindsay, UK

With David O'Leary on trumpet and Doug Ellis on keys, the Villa Swingers were the hit of the party.
Ollie Raison, Perth, Australia

O'Leary: "Quick, Mr Nielsen, this Tango is invisibly superglued to my mouth. I'm a football manager... get me out of here!"

Ed Duffy: "That does it! That caption-writing software's going straight back to the shop next week."
Ed Duffy, Birmingham, UK

David's promise of some big signings was taken a little too literally by the shirt manufacturers.
Si Griffin, UK

David gets to work on the 'Claret and Booze'.
Si Griffin, UK

The Punch and Judy style press conferences drove David to drink.
Si Griffin, UK

When he saw the chairman's "Rover" shirt, O'Leary realised the club had gone to the dogs.
Adrian Wade, Canada

Yet another manager picks up the poisoned chalice at Villa.
Si Griffin, UK

Ellis: "David and I have just had extensive talks about the Villa finances." O'Leary: "Looks like I picked the wrong week to give up drinking."
Ed Duffy, Birmingham, UK

Ever the optimists, Ellis and O'Leary have the shirts ready for Maradona's arrival.
Ed Duffy, Birmingham, UK

Rumours abound that O'Leary has already dipped into the transfer market to secure Paul Gascoigne's signature.
Ed Duffy, Birmingham, UK