E-mail of the week

E-mail of the week

Sport Interactive receives thousands of your e-mails over the course of a sporting week.

Some make us laugh, some make us cry, some leave us utterly confused, while some are not fit for publication on a family website.

But there are some that stand out from the pile like a Roberto Carlos free-kick in a Bristol Rovers training session.

We gave you the chance to vote for your favourite email of the last seven days.

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The results are in; and it is Simon Mills who will be proudly parading the streets of Brighton in this week's figurative jester's hat.

Simon had you all doubled up with laughter with his cutting, and perhaps cruel, crusade against the nation's carrot tops.

Simon swept up 53% of the vote - see below to read his comic genius and for those podium placings in full.

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Comedy Gold medal: Ginge whinge
On our 606 message boards, Simon Mills from Brighton expressed his reservations about Southampton's progress to the FA Cup final...

I am concerned that Gordon Strachan will become the first ginger manager to win the FA Cup. The glamour of the competition is already fading and I fear this will damage it further.

In other countries ginger managers are not successful. We will become a laughing stock. Alan Ball should have been the last. Tony Blair must stop this. Or the Queen.

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Silver Medal: You talkin' to me? (17%)
Walter Sobchak from Glasgow produced the week's most sensational piece of football gossip...

While passing Firhill late one night I saw a black limousine waiting outside. As I slowed to have a better look, I saw Robert de Niro shaking hands with Partick Thistle boss John Lambie.

I asked John what was going on and he told me that Robert had just agreed to buy the Jags and will fund an assault on the SPL title and eventually the Champions League with his own money.

Apparently De Niro has always been a big Jags fan and wants to take them to the top.

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Bronze medal: Scaredy Cat (16%)
And Matt from Scotland relived his favourite Phil Tufnell moment...

My funniest memory of "the Cat" was seeing him sitting in the pavilion waiting to go into bat against the West Indies. Some viciously hostile bowling from Ambrose and Walsh had been demolishing England's batting.

Poor Phil was sitting there in his pads nervously chain-smoking cigarettes and visibly shaking, like a condemned man on the scaffold. Never have I seen a professional sportsman so visibly terrified.

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Wooden spoon: Cap comp complaint (11%)
And in fourth place was John Lewis from Finland sent this eloquent protest after a couple of his entries to our caption competition failed to make the grade...

Hey BBC, why do you repeatedly insert simple-minded puns on the word "chest" and NOT pay any attention to MY brilliant linguistic devices, including out of place prepositions and multiple meaning phrasal verbs?

Do you imagine your readers won't understand? Or do you really think they are less funny than "..chest messing around"? I'm asking purely in the spirit of stimulating the sports cap comp to maintain its normal high standards of humour and language use.