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Monday, 16 December, 2002, 17:06 GMT
Caption competition winner 126
Robert Pires and Sol Campbell exchange words as Arsenal face Spurs at White Hart Lane.
But whose funny caption won them a quite superb Sport Online goody bag?
Robert Pires breathed a sigh of relief after scoring a penalty to level the score in the 132nd north London derby. England defender Campbell must also have been glad to grab a point and deny the Tottenham faithful an opportunity to gloat. We asked you to make us laugh with your captions and many of you succeeded, none more so than our winner Selwyn Thompson of the UK, with: Thankfully, Pires and Campbell were the only major casualties in the unexpected 'Highbury Quicksand Tragedy'. Well played Selwyn - your goody bag is on its way. See below for this week's second and third-placed captions - plus the best of the rest.
Second place: Neil Nicholson, Bradford, UK
Third place: Alan Baxter, England
The best of the rest:
Pires and Campbell compare hands when auditioning for the Fairy liquid advert.
Arsenal players surrender when Spurs boss Hoddle threatens to sing as half time entertainment.
So, where d'you want us to put this plate-glass window, Miss?
"As if it's not bad enough that we should both get two broken arms but to have a student medic fit the casts - that tops it!!"
Pires begins the tickling phase of Sol Campbell's torture.
Cambell: "Look Robert, if I put my hands like this I can make a bird, with the shadow."
Two Christmas trees, and guess who they stick up on top of them.
Pires and Campbell face a duel: underarm odour at two paces
Robert and Sol do the dance to the song 'Reach'.
"Now you see why they paid ten million for me Sol?"
"Yeah, it's a laugh ain't it? This lot could have had ten million for me too but Arsene and I pulled a fast one on them."
Initially Pires was terrified as he thought the big Spurs central defender was about to attack him, until he was reminded that Sol now played for the Arsenal.
As Roy Keane walks out on to the Highbury pitch, Pires and Campbell burst in to an impromptu "we are not worthy".
Hilarious "mirror" routine fails to convince because of minor flaw.
"And this is how they surrender the league title in Italy"
Fears that goal celebrations were getting too passionate, take a turn for the worst as Campbell and Pires give a lovely rendition of "Oranges and lemons".
Both Sol and Robert are saying together, "What's wrong with this mirror, it's showing a negative image?"
That hypnotist was good last night wasn't he?
Heist at Highbury as Highwayman Hits Henry's Housemates.
Sol and Robert give Seaman a tip.
Robert: "No, Rudolf's antlers are further apart"
Sol: "I swear they're more like this..."
Pires: "Zis is 'ow I do my bell danse Sol..."
Campbell: "You're right it is much better than my way."
Arsenal washer woman sacked after using a year's supply of starch in just one wash.
Tragedy strikes the kit room as new red dye is discovered to slide down the shirt sleeves when players raise their arms.
Don't blame it on the sunshine, don't blame it on the moonlight blame it on the.....' come on Robert, put your back into it, we want to impress the ladies tonight at the Christmas party!'
At the Arsenal Christmas party, Sol and Robert win the charades competition with "Goalfingers"
'Pattacake, Pattacake', 'Homme de boulangerie'.
Robert Pires says to Sol "are you sure that hypnotist said that we would be able to could carry the invisible man for this long"
If you catch the flood lights just right you can shadow a flying duck on the front of the stand.
Doing the Seaman wave, oi!
Campbell: Kasey Keller's morale is this big now.
Pires: Not as big as Wenger's ego.
Pires and Campbell prepare to worship Arsene.
Robert: "You be the elf and I'll be the Christmas tree."
Campbell: "No...I'm the Christmas tree!"
Sol: "Listen Rob, whoever can keep their hands up the longest gets to choose the video for coach ride home".
Robert: "Hands up, if you hate Tottenham, hands up, if you hate Tottenham..."
Campbell and Pires both put themselves in the next transfer window by acting as shop dummies.
No reindeer antlers are more like this.
No! No! - You hold your fingers like this and say 'Live long and prosper'
Sol and Pires warm up for their Christmas party as they learn the Time Warp.
Sol and Robert finally notice they have left the Christmas tree in the shop.
Sol to Pires: "I said a defensive wall not an invisible one".
Despite Campbell's suggestion of pointy ears, Pires insists that he is only half Vulcan.
When suddenly, without warning, Pires and Campbell decide to relive their Hawaii experience by hula dancing.
The day comes when Robert Pires and Sol Campbell finally decide that their talents truly lie in volleyball.
Someone pulled the strings on the Arsenal puppets too hard.
Pires and Campbell find they achieved exactly the same IQ on "Test the Nation."
Security men practice their baby-catching technique for the forthcoming Michael Jackson tour.
The resounding 'Waaaah... Ooof!' made Sol and Robert realise that the crowd surfer had missed.
The Marcel Marceau impersonation goal celebration was too tricky for Campbell!
Pires and Campbell begin to regret the 'two for one' deal on 'Chilli Fever' deodorant.
Following the EC Directive on Goal Celebration Safety, Arsenal's joy on equalising was somewhat restrained.
Seaman is nowhere to be seen as the Arsenal "catch the cross" competition finalists battle it out for the No.1 shirt.
Sol to Robert: "I told you that we could stretch higher than David Seaman".
Pires: "Jinx! Now you can't say anything till I say your name..."
"That's right Sol, now next week we'll practise a throw-in with a real ball..."
Sol Campbell and Robert Pieres hold the hands up as the local bobbies book them for stealing the game.
When feeling down, Sol and Robert loved to victimise the invisible man by playing short-range piggy-in-the-middle.
Pires scored the goal. Another Frenchman, Marcel Marceau, provided the invisible panes of glass for the goal celebration.
Pires: Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena. Ehhhh, Macarena.
Sol: Aight!
Pires: Nooo! Hands should be lower, Sol! Now one more time......
In a desperate attempt to enable his team to beat their north London rivals, a Spurs fan holds the Arsenal team at gun point.
It's called a Highbury five.
'Hand movements, good! Now let's concentrate on foot movements@
Hands down, Sol! Dave Seaman'll think we're taking the Ronaldinho.
The Morris dancing demonstration at half time didn't live up to expectations.
Pires and Campbell struggle to break through the glass wall erected by round the Spurs goalmouth.
I know you're a good player, Sol, but should you really need two people to carry your halo.
Pires and Campbell practice their "synchronised celebration" routine for the club Christmas party.
The Arsenal off-side trap really has lost its panache and subtlety since Adams retired.
Pires: Wow, my reflection has really changed!
The Cheeky Girls change their routine looking much fitter than usual!!
After a daylight robbery at the White Hart Pass the guilty men are rounded up.
The carefully planned high five went awry due to unforeseen differences in height........
So;: "I wish the woman in the laundry wouldn't use so much starch."
Robert: "We now go 10 games unbeaten!"
Sol: "Nah, son -make it 20!"
Sol: I think we need a few more to make a good Mexican wave.
Robert & Sol pose for the filming of the final scene in the latest anti-perspirant commercial.
Giant invisible ball lands at Highbury!
Robert and Sol take some time out to practice their moves for the Christmas party:
Pires: "OK Sol one more time, one, two, three: We are the cheeky boys. We are the cheeky boys..."
New glass cells prove unpopular with inmates.
Sol: "Y.M.C.A it's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A."
Arsene Wenger: "From my position on the bench, at no time did I see either Sol or Robert raise their hands."
Campbell's winter workout video is expected to sell well.
Pires and Campbell hold their hands up in horror when they find out they've both worn the same outfit, again!
Campbell's and Pires' double-handed game of scissor-paper-stone ended in an embarrassing draw.
Robert and Sol's Mexican wave didn't quite catch on.
Sol Campbell's choice of bodyguard shocked a few at White hart Lane!
The midget highwayman struck again.
"Hands up, baby, hands up! Give me your heart gimme, gimme, your heart gimme, gimme!"
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