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Monday, 2 December, 2002, 11:05 GMT
Caption competition winner 124
Former Russian president Boris Yeltsin congratulates Mikhail Youzhny after his victory in the Davis Cup Final.
Send us your captions and win a prize!
Russia became the first team since 1964 to overturn a 2-1 deficit on the final day of the competition. First Marat Safin defeated Sebastien Grosjean, and then Youzhny came from two sets down to beat Paul-Henri Mathieu. Yeltsin was duly delighted with the young man's contribution and was quick to let him know. We asked you to make us laugh with your comedy captions, and this week's winner is Gerry Slawson from the UK, with: As the screens went back, Youzhny wished he'd gone for number three instead. Nice one Gerry - your goody bag is on its way. See below for this week's second and third-placed captions - plus the best of the rest.
Second place: Richard Day, Singapore
Third place: Garry Waddell, UK
The best of the rest:
Youzhny begins to have the sinking feeling that Boris Yeltsin thinks this is the final of the Miss World contest.
Yeltsin: "You two could beat the Williams sisters any day!"
Feeling threatened by Boris' threat to strangle him, Mikhail reluctantly agrees to play one more game of 'stare out' before insisting on going home to bed.
Test launch of Russia's first helium-filled cosmonaut.
The photographer from Caption Competition 121 records history in the making: for 10 seconds, Boris was totally coherent...
Mikhail starts to look very worried as he is introduced to his new doubles partner.
Boris, it's lovely to meet you, but I was told Anna Kournikova was going to greet the team.
Could you spare an old man 10 rupels for a drink?
Youzhny: How do I tell him that he isn't President any more... poor old fellow.
Worried by the appearance of the Ghost of Russia's Past, Youzhny swears never to drink barley water again.
Boris prepares to raise a firm knee after losing the last of his beer money on a bet on Paul-Henri Mathieu.
You know when you've been Tango'd!
Mikhail starts to worry because Boris Yeltsin could force him to have a picture taken for the caption competition.
Youzhny starts to worry as Patrick Moore starts to congratulate him.
Boris: Ah, Vlad the soldier. I've been wanting to meet you ever since you appeared in cap comp 112. How's your husband?
Bobby Robson congratulates Shay Given on another fine performance away from home.
Ernie Wise finally got revenge for years of slapped cheeks with a public assault on Eric's Russian grandson - Des O'Connor captures the moment for posterity.
With his eyes stinging, the Milk Tray man grabbed the nearest person in order to haul himself out of the vat of bleach.
Mikhail Youzhny's barber runs on to the pitch and quickly checks Youzhny's hair before he goes to a photo shoot.
So you're the one who's praised for his shots then? In that case, I'll have a vodka double!
Mikhail was shocked to see he'd be fighting Big Daddy in the Davis Cup Final.
As the Russian team celebrated their win, Mikhail was presented with his man of the match award.
Mikhail was surprised to see just how much weight Bill Clinton had put on.
Boris launches the Moscow State Windsor Davies Impersonators Society with a quick "shoulders back lovely boy ...."
A stunned Mikhail waits as an overzealous security man checks that he isn't wearing fake shoulders.
Mikhail is terrified to see the standard of dental work on the former president.
The cameraman from Caption competition 121 returns to action, elbows fully bendable.
Yeltsin: Are you Stephen Tucker, Caption Genius?
Youzhny: No, he's over there.
Yeltsin: Are you Stephen Tucker...
Youzhny: "I read somewhere that if you don't look him in the eye, he'll go away..."
"No sir, I'm not your nephew Yuri, and this isn't a family Christmas party."
Boris starts the world macarena championships.
Wow, it's like looking into a mirror that ages you 50 years!
Yeltsin: "You play in the green square. I play in the Red Square."
Yelstin: 'Well done boy, you Putin a great performance...get it? Putin, heh heh!'
"Drink!"
"Feck!"
"Girls!"
Get your coat darling, you've pulled!
Alcohol, Red Armies and great drop shots....Boris and Mikhail discuss Sunday's Liverpool v Man U match.
What! Young lad, I offer you the Star of Lenin, and you say you'd rather have a date with Anna Kournikova!?!
"Don't run off comrade, I have another one....did you hear the one about..."
Please, NOT on the lips... I swear I'll never drop the first two sets again...
Billy Graham spearheads a great religious revival in Russia.
The photographer didn't care who was in shot. He was only interested snapping himself in the mirrored doors.
I shall call him....MINI ME!
Yeltsin's looking forward to seeing Youzhny serve...the vodka.
Boris must've made a wrong turn en route to the Conga dance festival.
Yeltsin just couldn't believe it when he spotted an elephant's trunk growing out of a spectator's head.
Boris: "Now, is this the Davis Cup fellow you were telling me about?"
Itsh sho nice to see identical twins winning.
Yeltsin: "Quick, quick - take his anti-gravity boots off, I can't hold him much longer..."
From Russia with forty love.
"Come on Mikkie, pucker up for your ex-president."
"Don't look so worried Mikhail, I have a great reputation for the doubles, especially vodkas."
Mikhail was less than impressed with his Yeltsin-o-gram!
Mikhail still can't get over the fact that unlike Lenin, Yeltsin is 'pickled' and he's still very much alive!
Don't worry, it's worse in Britain - they get Cliff Richard to sing at you.
"Shorry to trouble you mate, have you got ten roubles for a cuppa tea? Yer me best mate you are, I love you, no really, yer me beshtest mate..." etc.
Yeltsin: 'Mikhail?! Long time no see, and you've had a hair transplant and your birthmark removed...we must go for a Wodka sometime.'
Mikhail begged his granddad to stop embarrassing him in front of all his friends.
"Cheer up lad, I said 'I'll have a 'sly beer' with you', not 'it's 'Siberia' for you'.
Yeltsin: "Stand up straight boy, I am a former President you know!"
Yeltsin: 'Yeeeah...hic, nishe one son. You...hic were shmashin...'
Mikhail was shocked to see how far Kafelnikov had let his physical condition slide!
Well done young Gagarin, tell me, when did you get back from your travels?
Youzhny looks confused as Boris Yeltsin launches into his Eric Morecambe routine.
Congratulations, comrade - perhaps we can afford coloured shirts now.
The doctor was thrilled with the result. The first face transplant was a great success. No one would recognise Jeffrey Archer.
Don't move my son or I might fall over.
A bit of padding here and you could be one of our fine female gymnasts.
As the screens went back, Youzhny wished he'd gone for number three instead.
As an emotional president tried to pronounce his name for the 23rd time, Mikhail wondered if he would ever get away.
Mikhail, you haven't aged a bit, but I see you had the birthmark removed.
Tension mounts at the world 'stare-out' championships as Yeltsin fouls the young pretender with a blatant high tickle.
Upon returning to Sunnydale, Giles reported to Buffy that there was a creature with foul breath terrorising the Davis Cup Final.
Youzhny - "Let go Boris or I'll squeeze them again!"
..Don't kiss me, don't kiss me, don't kiss me....
Youzhny: "Erm, Security? A little help please with this mad old grandad?"
Yeltsin - "I'll lead - you follow!"
Unfortunately, Mikhail is allowed to smile only once a day.
The Vulcan death grip failed....
Mikhail was shocked to see Father Christmas without his beard.
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