|
 |
 |
|
|
You are in: Sports Talk |
|
|
|
Monday, 25 November, 2002, 13:35 GMT
Caption competition winner 123
Australia fast-bowlers Glenn McGrath and Jason Gillespie discuss tactics during the second Ashes Test in Adelaide.
Send us your captions and win a prize!
Australia crushed England by an innings and 51 runs at the Adelaide Oval to go 2-0 up in the series. McGrath and Gillespie shared 10 wickets in the match and England now have to win the remaining three Tests to regain the Ashes. We asked you to put a caption to the action, and this week's winner is from Michael Eaton from England, who came up with this little gem: Jason Gillespie breathes a huge sigh of relief as those giant orange nicotine patches finally start to kick in. Sterling effort Michael! Your goody bag is in the post. See below for this week's second and third-placed captions - plus the best of the rest.
Second place: KP, UK
Third place: Gerry 'Invisible' Slawson, UK
The best of the rest:
In a ploy to further confuse the English batsmen, McGrath plan on wearing Gillespie's beard for his next over...
As if things weren't bad enough for England, Gillespie gets ready to bowl his "invisi-ball".
The English aren't so daft. At least they don't have to put labels on their colours.
"Mate, never knew that Poms would like to bat twice for every innings of ours..."
Crikey Glenn. If Rod Marsh had told me that the gap between bat and pad was this big for all of them I'd have bowled straighter sooner.
These virtual reality specs are a gas Glenn. You can even programme them to show England winning.
"This is getting boring Glenn, shall we try missing a few catches while England get their act together?"
Tell ya what mate, this is the last time I buy a car from Gerry Slawson!
Roger Whitaker¿s undercover mission seemed to be getting off to a jovial start.
"Jase, the worst thing about England is its weather". "Strewh Glenn! Have you not been watching their cricket?"
"So in the old days we sometimes had to bat twice? No, you've lost me mate! "
"Yeah, so mum reckons I'd be better off taking up the flute - she thinks it'd be more challenging."
Glenn and Jason give due consideration to England's latest excuse that, technically, they have been playing upside-down.
Gillespie shows off his patented under-arm bowling style which saw off the awesome English challenge.
Glenn: "Alright Jase, name three famous England cricketers!"
Jason: "Strewth, Glenn, is this a trick question!"
Glenn: "What are you doing mate?"
Jason: "Doing my rain dance - I really feel sorry for these silly pommies!"
"I hear we're going to have our hands full in the third Test...They're bringing back Botham!"
Glenn: "Go on Jason do that impression of a concerned Aussie again" Jason: "...Ahhh hard lines mate...you played well"
Glenn: "...hilarious... gets me every time ..."
"So I said to this Pommie when he was out, 'The future's so bright we gotta wear shades!'"
"Hey Glenn, I hear England are routinely tested for drugs after each match." "Yeh, I know, they look for tranquilliser darts in the back of their necks!"
Jason Gillespie breathes a huge sigh of relief as those giant orange nicotine patches finally start to kick in.
When a ball from Hussain is hit towards one of the fielders - the Aussies are really taking the Mick now.
As the crowd become restless with lack of competition Jason Gillespie keeps them entertained with his Cliff Richard impression.
Once again, the pain and frustration of the Ashes tour starts to take it toll on the Australian bowlers.
"We've done it again mate: Day five in the pub. You beauty!"
Jason: "Did you hear the one about the England cricket team?"
Glenn: "England have a cricket team?"
To keep themselves occupied in the field, the Aussies took to playing musical statues - Jason proved himself to be a natural.
"Fancy another game of cat's cradle while England get their act together?"
Cool Aussie caps, 10 pounds. Funky sunglasses, 30 pounds. Actually holding the real Ashes...priceless.
"Good on ya, Glenn. If we take those Pommie wickets again that quickly, Warne's head will be THIS big!"
McGrath helps Gillespie practice Australia's stranglehold on the series.
Jason Gillespie drives Glenn McGrath to the Ashes Test in his imaginary car.
"England won't play anymore unless we keep our hands this far apart when fielding and take these big grins off our faces."
"So to give England a sporting chance we're going to use bats this size and use koalas as fielders."
"Now remember, this is how you shake the champagne."
McGrath was impressed by the realistic Gillespie doll (5-0 Ashes drubbing version now available - Australia only).
McGrath says: "I'll get that wicket in four".
Gillespie replies: "I'll get that wicket in three".
McGrath says: "Get that wicket!"
"Glenn, did I ever tell you the story how I lost my thumb?"
"To stretch a Test match to the fifth day, the cricket ball has to be THIS big!"
"Now I've gone and swallowed my harmonica!"
McGrath: "If you dance like that you'll never bowl a maiden over!"
While Jason and Glenn were discussing the finer things in life, someone had the cheek to steal Jason's ice-cream.
"Why practise applauding England? I won't need to."
"Glenn, I think by Christmas, you will be THIS close to Courtney Walsh!"
The use of fake arms was invaluable to the professional pick-pocket.
Gillespie: "Not only are we better at cricket than England, we're also so much cooler!"
Gillespie was an expert with the "invisible card shuffle".
"So, Glenn, this is what I'll look like holding the Ashes, do you think these shades will be alright?"
"I'll be back in a minute Jase, Hussain is coming out to bat!"
"It's no good, I have run out of fingers counting today's wickets."
"I bet Richard Day $40 I'd do the YMCA in the second innings... but I only had time to get to C!"
The Australians set out their waxwork fielders for the third Test happy in the knowledge that the Ashes were in safe hands.
"So Glenn, the third Test starts Thursday yeah...I've got a steak this big for the beach barbie I've arranged for the boys on Saturday afternoon."
"England could only win if the wickets were this far apart."
"I'm telling you Glenn, Stewart catches with his hands like this."
"There again, I think your Ali G impression may have confused them."
Jimmy Hill makes a triumphant return to the world of sport.
"They should've moved the Miss World competition to Adelaide. We're not going to be needing the stadium tomorrow."
"The fish I caught was THIS big!"
During tea, Gillespie demonstrated his skills at the air wobbleboard.
"Jason, I'm thinking of bowling left-arm in the third Test - what do you think?"
Gerry Slawson holds aloft his invisible winner's goody bag.
Gillespie: "Glenn, you'll have to use a bottle of polish this big every day to get your sunglasses as shiny as mine."
"Yeah, his bat could of been this wide and he still couldn't hit a thing!"
Glenn: "Did you see that caption a couple weeks ago?"
Jason: "Yeah, the camera man, his arms were up, kinda like this..."
Gillespie: "Honestly, I was this close to thinking England still had a chance".
"They say England's rugby players have just won by a cricket score - let's see if this lot can make it to 53."
The Australian use of infra-red goggles was a bone of contention.
"And then I... oh, England's second innings is about to start, must stop chatting. We'll continue after the match - meet you back here in an hour?"
"Hey Glenn, why don't we give them a chance and make their stumps this big?"
"The Emporers New Bat", as trialled by the English would explain why the Australians took so many wickets.
Australia are so far ahead they let Goran Ivanisevic have a go.
"You should have seen the look on the two boy scouts' faces when I nicked their hats!"
Glenn and Jason both share a chuckle as Jason shows Glenn his robot impression.
"Jason, the future of this Test series is looking so bright...I just gotta wear shades!"
|
|
Top Sports Talk stories now:
Links to more Sports Talk stories are at the foot of the page.
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
 |
|
|
|
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
|
 E-mail this story to a friend |
|
|
|
Links to more Sports Talk stories |
|
|
|
||
 |
||||
 |
|
Back to top
|
||
|
------------------------------------------------------------ BBC News >> | BBC Weather >> -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- © MMIII | News Sources | Privacy |
