|
 |
 |
|
|
You are in: Sports Talk |
|
|
|
Monday, 11 November, 2002, 14:00 GMT
Caption competition winner 121
England's Matthew Hoggard congratulates Aussie captain Shane Warne on his team's crushing victory in the Ashes' first Test.
Disclaimer: The BBC will put up as many of your comments as possible but we cannot guarantee that all e-mails will be published. The BBC reserves the right to edit comments that are published.
But who came up with our favourite caption?
After a humiliating opening day in Brisbane, England's fight-back on day two gave them a spark of hope. But that was quickly extinguished as Australia powered into another gear, eventually bowling out the visitors for 79 to give Australia a 384-run winning margin. England's Hoggard was snapped shaking Shane Warne firmly by the hand - and we asked you to put a caption to the action. This week's winner was Richard Pascoe of the UK, who came up with this little gem: After suceeding on the camera man, Hoggard and his palm buzzer move on to their next victim. Nice one Richard! Your goody bag is in the post. See below for this week's second and third-placed captions - plus the best of the rest.
Second place: David Hamm, UK
Third place: Valerie Ganne, Wales
The best of the rest:
Resigned to becoming another casualty, Hoggard arrives for the handshake with his arm already in a splint.
Hoggard: Ah! Dr Spin, I presume!!
Hoggard: "Looking good, Shane. That new fruit diet seems to be working".
Warne helps Hoggard from his seat in the sparsely-populated fit England cricketers' enclosure.
Human tripod hailed a success after trials at the Ashes.
Warne was a worthy winner, but there again, only the Aussies could get away with a hit TV series as sick as "The Hunchback Academy".
Ignore him, he's been fighting with that camera for thirty minutes.
After suceeding on the camera man, Hoggard and his palm buzzer move onto their next victim.
"Judging by the lines on your palm, I foresee a great future in cricket ahead of you!"
"I never knew you were a mason, Matthew...which lodge?"
"Now, if I twist just in the right place..."
The photographer's first thought when the sedan chair collapsed was to save his camera.
Hoggard: Excuse me Shane, my mate Ashley says can he borrow this?
I wish I had a pair of sunglasses like yours and I would not have to look you in the eye.
We never had a chance, look at the slope the ground's on.
Hoggard's attempts to aid the English cause by stealing Shane Warne's bowling hand proved unsuccessful.
Hoggard tries to show Warney the grip for pie throwing.
Steve Waugh felt that the camera company sponsor's trophy for the first Test was taking product placement a bit far.
Shane Warne meets the winner of his lookalike competition at the Gabba.
Hmmm...I've seen you somewhere - was it in 'Shrek'?
When the PA thundered "hands up if you think England can win a Test this series", the charitable Warne could only stop one man from making a right prat of himself.
Hoggard strikes a deal with Shane Warne to award Australia the Ashes after just one Test, saving England any further humiliation.
'Shane, you realise that if I pull hard enough, your career goes up in smoke...'
'Hey mate, if it's Ashes you want, that's probably your best bet'
Hoggard's assassination attempt on Warne goes awry as 'Cato' mistimes his otherwise trusty 'death swing'.
Warne: "Thanks for that mate, there was no paper in the dunny and I didn't want to mark me strides!"
Hoggard: "I had a pair of those glasses. They were the same colour, shape, size....wait a minute!"
Hoggers: Can I borrow this? After all, four forearms is forewarned.
No one knew how the photographer infiltrated the Slawson Invisible Family outing seats but Matthew wished he was one of them.
Got any batting tips?
'That's a big wrist watch you've got there, son.'
As Hoggard stops Warne from getting away, the secret service 'cameraman' turns on his armpit anti-spinner gas.
Well you know what they say...opposites attract!
"Wouldn't it be hilarious if we could get this week's caption to read "Bear hug", immediately following "Bare hug", mate?"
"Not so fast, Warne."
Don't worry Hoggy, I'll guide you to the crease if they won't let you take your guide dog.
The speed of England's capitulation caught Shane's hairdresser by surprise but he was determined to finish the blow dry.
Photographers were banned from joining the Mexican Wave soon after the first Test.
"Hi! I'm Shane Warne. And you are...?"
Hoggard: "Quick mate - I'll hold him down with my Chinese burn and you take a photo of his bald spot."
Warne: "Are you guys for real, or just another Vodafone prank gone wrong?"
"Ahhh, it's you Hoggy, I didn't recognise you from the front."
The water diviner hired by England arrived a little too late.
Not that we're in awe of the Aussies, but Hoggard's mum can't hide her delight at getting Warne's autograph!
Warne fails to see that Hoggard is trying to twist Shane's bowling hand...
TOP SECRET report: England recently seen experimenting with prototype "skill transfer" device; however, there is no evidence that it works.
Seeing that holding cameras could not prevent people joining in with YMCA, Matthew tried a more hands on approach with Shane.
Warney: Better tell your mate he'll need a faster film if he wants to a picture of an England batsman at the crease!
Beating England is not the only thing Australia can do with one hand tied behind their backs...
Hoggard's shoulder pad chooses a most inopportune moment to slip.
Hoggard just about keeps the pain from showing through Warne's vice-like victory handshake.
Banzai's new Mr Shake-hands-man, Matthew Hoggard!!
Warne: "Look fellas, it's that Karl Power bloke! Some England cricketer impersonator!"
Hoggard sums up England's Test match, when he can't even win a 'thumb war' against Shane Warne.
Warne has to try again after Hoggard drops the first handshake.
"Between me and you Shane, Nasser thinks 79 wasn't bad, only seven over par!"
Spectator who catches camera thrown at Matthew Hoggard is signed up as wicket keeper for second Test.
Embarrassed by his side's defeat, Fletcher gets a helicopter to pull him out of the stadium.
Hoggard blushes as his attempts to look big and muscular are found out when his padding slips.
Nick Hancock: "Yes Matthew, this is what a sportsman feels like!"
Hoggard assists in latest attempt to photograph Shane Warne's bald spot.
A meeting of two X-men - Cyclops and Dropalots.
Hoggard: "Yes, I'll be sure to give our Mr Hussain your terms for a quick surrender."
Warne congratulates one of the hoaxers who successfully impersonated an England cricket eleven.
"And then you go and spoil it all by saying something stupid, like, I love you".
"Do you always keep your mobile strapped to your arm?"
Hoggard: "Well, at least were better than you at football!"
Warne: "Not for long, mate."
Hoggard gets a "warning" of things to come.
Warne wearing sunglasses? Have England really found a new Dazzler?
So sorry about what Gilesy did to your golf cart....
Hoggard: "Ok you may have thrashed us, but I bet I'm better at Chinese burns."
Not a mason then... have to try something else.
The first pair of successful contestants in the new-look Blind Date are introduced to each other.
Warne: "I have to say Matthew, you'd have done better if you'd strapped your shinpad onto your leg where it's meant to go, mate."
Warne: "And what do you do?"
Hoggard puts a brave face on after losing to the blind Australian cricket eleven.
Strewth, I would have made it a draw if I'd known we were both Masons.
How he can be a professional photographer without any elbows I do not know.
"You look like John Daly." "Well, you look like Ashley from Coronation Street!"
Hoggard: "That's £50 you owe me, I told you weld get more than 50."
Matthew Hoggard's fifth attempt at shaking Shane Warne's hand, after having dropped it the first four times.
Warne's new slimline look in tatters after he eats England for breakfast.
Hoggard thinks: "Just one quick twist and our troubles are over."
Hoggard tries to convince Warne that that the England fans have left the Test match to enter the caption competition, not because England are rubbish.
England yet again demonstrated how Warne out they were.
New helium camera suffers early teething problems.
The tension was rising as the final of the "short rope" tug of war got underway.
|
|
Top Sports Talk stories now:
Links to more Sports Talk stories are at the foot of the page.
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
 |
|
|
|
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
|
 E-mail this story to a friend |
|
|
|
Links to more Sports Talk stories |
|
|
|
||
 |
||||
 |
|
Back to top
|
||
|
------------------------------------------------------------ BBC News >> | BBC Weather >> -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- © MMIII | News Sources | Privacy |
