|
 |
 |
|
|
You are in: Sports Talk |
|
|
|
Monday, 16 September, 2002, 13:44 GMT 14:44 UK
Caption competition winner 113
Israel's Anna Smashnova defeated Anna Kournikova in straight sets to win the Shanghai Open.
But just what were the two discussing at the end of the game?
It's been a tough season for Kournikova with defeat in all the major tournaments, but she remained gracious in defeat to Smashnova. And Smashnova, born in the Russian city of Minsk, was full of praise for her opponent after the game. We asked you to raise a chuckle with your funny captions - and Neal Berridge of the UK came up trumps with this gem: The girls consoled each other as they witnessed the umpire hang himself. Well done Neal! Your Sport Online goody bag is winging its way to you.
Here's the best of the rest.
I will shake hands with him and you can tie his shoes to the stand.
But did you see the outfit Serena was wearing...
The new anti-perspirant trials are deemed a failure when both players' backs start to sweat as they meet at net before game has even started.
Gerry Slawson sold a job lot of his invisible party hooters to the Women's Tennis Association.
"Go on, let's kiss - I never seem to get any publicity"
Kournikova: "Are you related in any way to V. Auxhallnova?'
"On that last point, did he say nice ace?"
"That's the easy bit over - now for Gary Robertson..."
"Ha, you may have beaten me, but I'll be able to use this racket again - it's still in perfect condition."
Ok Anna, I won the game, so I get the night with Enrique like we agreed.
Yes, I suppose I DO have an underarm stain problem.
Keeping up with the -ova theme, the Russian leaves another tournament with egg on her face. Is her tennis careerova??
He IS wearing garters!
"Go on you can tell me, does my bum look big in this?"
It wasn't the tennis the crowd came to see - it was the shirt swapping at the end of the game.
The arm-wrestling competition came to an abrupt end when Kournikova tried the Mike Tyson approach.
Anna: "Thanks for the tennis lesson, I'll work on that 'hit the ball over the net' thing. Gotta rush to a photo shoot now".
"Don't give up the modelling."
"So what if you won, at least my skirt isn't tucked into my knickers!"
"OK, it's agreed. You get his attention, whilst I kick the steps away."
"At last, a ladies singles match you can watch Ova and Ova.
"Look, my new lipstick really does stay on in all conditions" - Anna relies on yet more sponsorship!
Championshipova...
Anna: "Are you wearing my latest perfume/clothing range/underwear range/jewellery?"
"Do you know your bra is showing"? No, but you hum it, I'll play it"
The umpire resigned himself to just getting a handshake.
"Don't you ever eat garlic again before a match."
"If you let me win next time, I'll speak to my modelling agent for you..."
Taramasalata ?
Anna K: Come on you cow, I let you win, now what's Richard Day's real name??
"You may have won this match, Smashnova, but with this pose I'll clean up with the advertising deals..."
After seeing the two Annas in action, Forrest Gump decided life was more than just a box of chocolates.
Knowing the umpire was on to them, Thelma and Louise made their pact to drive off the cliff.
Sponsorship had gone to far when Miss Kournikova revealed her new "SMASHNOVA" racquet
The girls whispered cruelly about the umpire's half shorts/half trouser fashion blunder.
Bella Emberg and Peggy Mount delighted the crowd at the celebrity tennis event.
So Countess Dracula, we meet at last...
Anna Kournikova thinks: I hope she lands one on the lips as I'll make a killing with the lads' mags.
After 50 minutes of pathetic tennis, the crowd finally got the action they had waited for.
After her drastic drop in form, Miss Kournikova had to resort to sucking gold from opponents' ears to make ends meet.
Thankfully, Enfield and Whitehouse were nowhere to be seen at the reunion of Smashie and Nicey.
The finalists in the Eskimo kissing and arm wresting competition carried on long into the night.
Six months in a skirt, hair do, plastic surgery and the endless tennis lessons finally paid off for the determined stalker.
From a distance all appears friendly, but under her breath Smashnova rubs salt in the wound when she asks if Anna is related to Enckelman.
"I'll bet you a bottle of vodka that this pose ends up in one of those daft caption competitions".
Anna: Are you Russian?
The Annas went down in history as the first Siamese twins to win a doubles tennis tournament....
The girls consoled each other as they witnessed the umpire hang himself.
Look over my shoulder...it's Forrest Gump!
I know Enrique loves to see me cry but this is ridiculous!
Pose like this and we'll see how many comedy names get past the BBC vetting team.
Is that your tongue in my ear?
I don't know what they are saying, I just like to watch.
Anna K: "Are you a photographer?"
Anna S: "No. Do you play tennis?"
Anna is distracted from her post-match handshake by a dazzling Gucci handbag in the crowd.
Smashnova diverts Anna's attention from the clown on stilts in the background, before the cover is blown - she's showing as the latest circus act.
If you try and move in on my modelling work, I'll break both your arms...understand...
From Russia with love!
In the words of Kylie Minouge: na na na.....na na na na na...
Psst, watch out - I'm an Anna kissed.
"Don't tell anybody, but I've dumped Enrique and I'm dating Vladimir the soldier from Cap Comp 112"
Kournikova's impression of Tyson v Holyfield failed to impress the umpire...
Anna typically fails to hit the mark...this time with a kiss wide to the left.
Sorry I didn't give you a better match, Smash, but that Frenchman waiting for the flood made me nervous.
Anna K: "Just pose it right there...This will make a great GQ cover for next month!"
It is a long piece of spaghetti isn't it?
You might have won the match, but I do the best impression of Pob.
Desperate to win something, Kournikova challenges Smashnova to an arm wrestle.
"I may be pants at tennis but I can do the best Dyson impersonation for miles."
Alas, Anna also came second in the LTA arm wrestling fest...
They think it's all "nova". It is now!
Hang on - I've just inhaled an earring...
Is that guy still trying to look down my top?
I'm thinking of changing my name to Backhandova to improve my game - your switch obviously helped.
'Ok you win, here's Enrique's phone number but don't tell him you won it in a bet'
L'Oreal's new non-sticky blusher needs some more testing.
Smashnova suggests not wearing a walkman might help Kournikova win a game once in a while.
Don't look now, but that bloke on the ladder is watching us.
|
|
Top Sports Talk stories now:
Links to more Sports Talk stories are at the foot of the page.
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
 |
|
|
|
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
|
 E-mail this story to a friend |
|
|
|
Links to more Sports Talk stories |
|
|
|
||
 |
||||
 |
|
Back to top
|
||
|
------------------------------------------------------------ BBC News >> | BBC Weather >> -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- © MMIII | News Sources | Privacy |
