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Monday, 9 September, 2002, 10:53 GMT 11:53 UK
Caption competition winner 112
Irish fans keep their spirits up as they are escorted to the Republic's match in Moscow by the local constabulary.
But which caption gave us the biggest laugh? After an impressive showing at the World Cup, the Republic of Ireland travelled to Moscow with high hopes for a good start to their Euro 2004 campaign. And their loyal bunch of fans certainly seemed to be enjoying the trip - under the watchful eye of a local bobby. But the boys in green were not at their best, and a final scoreline of 4-2 to the home side no doubt saw the fans travelling back to the Emerald Isle with a heavy heart. But Richard of the UK certainly brought a smile to our faces with these witty words: Paddy became the laughing stock of the town as his new Internet bride was introduced to the family. Nice one Richard, your goody bag is on its way!
Here's the best of the rest:
Look Paddy, I bet you any punts you like that he's taking this photo of us for a caption competition.
The suspects are lined up as Russian police investigate the robbery at the local Oxfam shop.
Auditions appear to be going well for the new 'Village People'.
Roy Keane's disguise works wonders and he is allowed to watch the match in relative peace...
What's this London derriere I keep hearing about?
Ooh Betty, I'm having a lot of harassment!
If this is what freedom and democracy does to you, you can keep it...
After a series of disturbing hallucinations, young Russian soldier vows never to drink homemade Vodka again.
"Join the army", they said...
"See the world", they said...
"Learn about other national cultures", they said...
Good news - he's a traffic warden. Bad news - you should see their riot police.
If they ask me to do a Frank Spencer impression one more time I'll....
Suddenly it occurred to him that a transfer to the Siberian Police might not be so bad.
The vast army of BBC Sport online users are sent to Russia for failing to think of anything funny for Caption 112.
Russian? No Paddy, we're going very slowly.
Hey! Come on! I promised to protect them - so please, no pictures!
After an early wrong turn, the Apprentice Boys march has reached strange new places.
Not knowing that only one Moscow pub served Guinness and thinking his country's economy had taken a turn for the worse, the young policemen joins the end of the queue for some "bread".
A well-disguised Roy Keane turns away in disgust when he is immediately recognised by the Irish supporters.
The fans didn't fancy the bodyguard's chances if Roy really wanted to see Mick.
Supporter in the background says: "Look it's Keano. The KGB have finally got their man!"
The Russian army kidnapped the Leprechauns, giving the Russian team the "luck of the Irish".
We named this after the Arsenal defence - Red Square.
We've had trouble with the KGB too - Keane Going Berserk!
Julian Clary soon got tired of being recognised without his make up.
No Moichael, you're wrong dere. De soldier in de Village People definitely had a bushy moustache.
Gerry Slawson's invisible leprechaun gave the Russian soldier a playful slap.
The local army soon weeded out the Muscovites who thought they were joining a meat queue.
Fan 1: Excuse me sor, are you Russian?
Fan 2: Of course he's not Moichael, there's plenty of time before kick-off.
The Russian Soldier was bemused at the Irish fans' chants of 'there's only one Alan Smith'
And these are the sensible looking ones! The really weird ones didn't get past the border guards!
The Irish fans spot the bloke who sold them their 'invisible' bus!
The young Russian tries in vain to hide his excitement when given the opportunity to police the rowdy Irish fans.
The long queue and the tight security fail to dampen the spirits of the football idol hopefuls, as auditions for the midfield place in the Irish team, vacated by Roy Keane, get underway.
Eh, does that sign really say "Free Beer"??!!
The Russian policeman turns a blind eye as the Irish fans sneak their luck llama mascot into the ground.
News just in: The Russian military have kidnapped a group of stray Irish fans for experiments on the brain. It's difficult to say, looking at the latest picture, whether this is before or after.
David Beckham's attempt to join the Irish soccer squad disguised as Frank Spencer fails.
Alan Smith debates whether it's time to give up his part time job.
'Excuse me der young fella... could yer move out of de way, Seamus is troying to take a photo of me and de lads.'
Unconvinced by the speculation in the press, the Irish Cap Comp team march to Singapore to see for themselves just how many names Richard Day has?
With the biggest and best street party Russia had ever seen, Demitri, like so many others before him, wonder just what would it be like if they won something?
Dublin's longest conga marched on through Russia.
Vladimir felt the Irish army weren't taking the drill seriously.
Yuri's Dial-a-Mob service was forced into cuts.
Due to an interpretation mishap, 'Mick McCarthy's Green Army' are led away by Russia's militia.
The Irish entries for the Annual Frank Spencer look-a-like competition did not impress last year's winner.
Only the Irish fans seemed to notice the uncanny resemblance of this young bobby, to the late Czar Nicolas.
Happy Irish fans last seen boarding a bus boound for 'Gulag 13, Siberia' in the mistaken belief that was where the game would be played.
Alan Smith found his costume for the Leeds Utd fancy dress party to be unique.
As soon as he saw them this soldier knew that these new recruits into the army were going to be tougher to train than the usual bunch.
"They say they're Eire Force, but they drink like Navy..."
Philip Schofield 's career has taken a nose-dive since distancing himself from Gordon the Gopher.
Jez' Declan, is there a full moon, would you look at how stupid the people dress over here!
It dawns on Alan Smith that it will take more than a goal for England and a far away security job with snazzy beret to stop footy fans taking the mick out of his hair do.
To no avail, Keane resorts to the old 'wait-on-a-kerb-near-the-ground-and-ask-for-spare-tickets' trick.
John Peel experiences the effect that Chernobyl has on hair colouration.
A Moscow constable keeps watch over the lengthening queue for the last few rolls of toilet paper.
Okay, let's offer him *three* pints of Killian's and see if he'll get us into Lenin's tomb a little faster!
'Course he looks miserable - I just told him Roy Keane gets paid more in a week than he gets in ten years!
That hairstyle is nothing....wait until they see what is hiding under my beret!!
Ross Kemp stars as a tough, uncompromising Russian policeman, faced with a hoard of angry Irish football fans...
Potato eaters meet potato drinkers.
Russian intelligence officials were forced to use the local constabulary for surveillance, as no KGB operatives were up for the job of "blending in."
The FAI hotly denies rumours they're lining up candidates for Mick McCarthy's job.
He thinks they are the Irish side! They think he is the linesman!
"Take a look at dat fellow Pat, fancy dressing up like dat in public?"
Paddy became the laughing stock of the town as his new Internet bride was introduced to the family.
Irish fans go to paint the Square Red.
In the Russian military training video they illustrated the dangers of the West.
"It was very nice of them, but now I've got to find somewhere to spit out this ruddy Guinness."
Vladimir O'Reilly isn't impressed when his long lost relatives turn up.
Whilst divided on the Keane issue, Liam, Sean and Connor all agree that "yer man over there in the hat looks a right Eejit"!
"You got any Irish blood in ya Son? We could really do with a new midfielder!"
"S'cuse me, officer but when's the next bus to Ballymun?"
"If this is what Guinness does to you, I'm sticking with vodka!"
"Don't worry, we will find out the secret of their happiness."
Irish team meet new captain.
The fashion police are bemused as they try and decide who to arrest first.
Mick McCarthy decides to recruit a 17-year-old soldier to protect Roy Keane from the Irish fans.
On the grounds that young Vlad's Great Uncle Mikel had once drank a pint of Guinness in an Irish theme pub in Moscow he was drafted into the Irish squad.
In Russian picture booths, alongside the 'Have your picture with Britney or Brad Pitt' is another option - 'Picture with rowdy drunken leprechauns'.
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