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Off the Ball

Stuart and Tam celebrate 15 years of presenting Off the Ball with some cheap props


Off the Ball is petty, ill-informed and fronted by two Scottish football fans who really should know better.

Stuart Cosgrove and Tam Cowan have endured more highs and lows than Michael Fish, but, erasing the memory of the last-minute defeat and focusing on the flukey winner, they stick on the headphones each week and make us laugh about our national game.


Colin McCredie and Stephen Purdon
Colin McCredie and Stephen Purdon were on the show on Saturday. Yes, it was murder.

Last week it was Taggart v River City as the lads were joined by Colin McCredie and Stephen Purdon to get tore into striking refs, the weather and the Christmas XI.

Listen to the programme on demand or treat your ears by downloading the very best bits in the Off the Ball podcast.


"Rock around the jock" - Brian in Aberdeen

"I can't help falling in love with ewe" - Peter in Ellon

"Jail croft rock" - Andrew, Inverness

"Don't be gruel" - Tam, Renfrew

"Blue suede coos" - Dons fan Gayzer

"Jail house cock-a-leekie soup" - Dave Currie and Scott Dixon, fishing on Loch Venechar

"Crying in the wee free kirk" - Pat, Edinburgh

"Heartbreak overpriced B&B" - Johnboy in Coatbridge

"Hi lads, my pal tours with an Elvis tribute band called 'Elvis Prestwick and the Ryanairs', Viva Tarbolton etc" - ToshC

"The Wonder of Uist" - Brian, Kilmarnock

"It's wan fer the money, twa fer the show" - Joe Keelan, Bellshill -

"Walk a mile in my wellies" - Norrie

"Viva Las-mahagow" - Michael O'Rourke, Clermiston

"Mhairi's the name of his latest bint" - J-Bo

"For all Scottish neds in town centres, All Puke Up" - Kenny Duthie

"The first time ever I saw your plooks" - Franz Grimley

"You're the Devil in Milngavie" -Jake in Sauchen


We're currently trawling through the archive from the programme to bring you some of our favourite clips. Here are four to whet your appetite:

Film star Dougray Scott gets quizzed on his Hollywood history by Tam.

In a risque clip, Tam reveals his desire to collect underwear from Elle, Gus and Archie MacPherson.

Tam, in his own inimitable style, reads out a rather risque song on the charms of the women of Brechin.

A caller's blagging reminiscences lead to Tam advocating breastfeeding in football grounds!


As promised, here are a selection of the photographs you sent in featuring celebrities:

Colin Rae and Alice Cooper

Colin Rae sent us this photo of him with hairy rock star Alice Cooper. Jeez-oh, Alice looks like Gnasher! Or Terry Hurlock?!

He says: "It was taken a few years ago when I was sporting a Graeme Souness moustache, which I no longer have. In fact, I no longer have any hair!

Danny Glover and Paula

Paula sent in this snap of herself with actor Danny Glover, perhaps most famous for his role in the Lethal Weapon films.

Regular e-mailer and St Johnstone fan Paula has become well-known to listeners as the 'Scary Saint' but Glover shows no signs of fear in this shot.

Amanda Harrigan and Tam Cowan

Amanda Harrigan took this picture at a golf course where our very own Tam Cowan made an appearance.

We were impressed with the distinguished look, style, glamour and charm. Oh, and Amanda scrubs up well too.

Paul Munch and some cheerleaders

Strictly speaking there are not any celebrities in this next photo.

However, always looking to be charitable, the Off The Ball team thought it would be nice to let Paul Munch get his face on the show's website.

It had nothing to do with the cheerleaders, honest!

Box of eggs

Paul sent this pic all the way from Australia, thus demonstrating Off The Ball's worldwide appeal.

Katie Cole from Stirling saw these eggs in a supermarket.

Does 50p from every box sold go to the club?


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Off the Ball,
BBC Radio Scotland,
40 Pacific Quay,
G51 1DA

Via text while show is on air: 80295

Via telephone while show is on air: 0500 92 95 00

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see also
Who are Stuart and Tam?
14 Nov 08 |  Scotland
Gough hits out at fans' sick chants
12 Sep 09 |  Scotland
Jim Kerr causes international incident
16 Oct 09 |  Scotland
Jim O'Brien sings a song
12 Sep 09 |  Scotland
OTB archive - animal sponsors
06 Sep 09 |  Scotland
OTB archive - an epitaph for Andy Goram
06 Sep 09 |  Scotland
OTB archive - Bowman on Tosh
06 Sep 09 |  Scotland
OTB archive - American names
06 Sep 09 |  Scotland
A good deed goes horribly wrong
19 Aug 09 |  Scotland
Martin O'Neill's ideal birthday present
19 Aug 09 |  Scotland
A Johnny Beattie corny joke
19 Aug 09 |  Scotland
Ridiculous headlines
19 Aug 09 |  Scotland
A fruit-and-nut case
19 Aug 09 |  Scotland
OTB archive - In-flight entertainment
27 Sep 09 |  Scotland
OTB archive - Dick Campbell
27 Sep 09 |  Scotland
Off the Ball's celebrity shearing
10 Jan 09 |  Scotland
Off the Ball's Halloween XI
05 Nov 08 |  Scotland
Off the Ball's Fatties XI
09 Oct 08 |  Scotland
Off the Ball's Dad's Army XI
07 Apr 08 |  Scotland
Off the Ball's Ugly XI
01 Feb 08 |  Scotland
Off the Ball at Euro 2008
10 Jun 08 |  Scotland
Totally Frank
19 Aug 08 |  Scotland
Andy Cameron stars on Off the Ball
07 Mar 08 |  Scotland
Richard Gordon feels the cut of Tam's jib
26 Jan 08 |  TV and Radio
Off the Ball 'Gran-ecdotes'
13 Oct 08 |  TV and Radio

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