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Page last updated at 17:15 GMT, Sunday, 16 January 2011

Off the Bawl 16 Jan 2011

Off the Ball presenters Stuart Cosgrove and Tam Cowan

Greeeeetings! On this week's Off The Ball we were joined by former Dundee Utd and Scotland star Andy McLaren and legendary Scots actor Bill Paterson as we discussed bad boys, fans on the park and the great sounds and voices of Scotland.

Here's the best and worst of the most petty and ill-informed texts and emails on radio...

BAD BOYS

Jeff from Crieff: "Davie Bowman was the ultimate bad boy - five red cards in one game for Forfar and a 17-match ban."

Alexandra Burke
Alexandra Burke - bad boys are always catching her eye, but not necessarily Hamilton fan Fergie

Jacqui: "East Stirling's Joe Savage once punched an opposing team member in the tea-room after a game."

Chris in Troon: "What about the great Albion Rovers bad boy - Vic Kasule (aka Vodka Vic)?"

Al from Edinburgh: "It must be Graeme Souness as he inspired the joke about the guy going into the bar and asking for a Souness - one quick half and I'm off!"

Mike Smith in Edinburgh: "What about former Killie, Motherwell and Hearts player Ally Mauchlen? He got more bookings in six months than The Krankies did in 25 years. After one game, the Hearts physio phoned Ally's wife to say he had a broken leg. 'Oh no,' she replied, 'whose is it this week...?'"

One Eyed Chris from Lanark: "Legendary Hamilton Accies fan Fergie was banned more times than Chic Charnley. He once got community service doing bingo for OAPs after threatening to give the Hamilton youth team a kicking."

PITCH INVASIONS

Barney in Neilston: "Don't know if this counts as a pitch invasion story as it comes from the world of Australian Rules Football.

Mobile phone
You can text the show using the very latest in mobile technology

I was watching a game in Adelaide in 1982 when two of the players got into a fight that escalated into a pitched battle involving all 36 players and two line judges.

After half of the 100,000 crowd had spilled onto the park to join in, the TV commentator said: 'Jeez, Bruce, this ref's a bloody spoilsport - I do believe he's abandoned the game!'"

GREAT SOUNDS OF SCOTLAND

Greig fae Paisley: "The best sound in Scotland is hearing Archie Macpherson going WOOOOF!!!"

Commentating legend Archie MacPherson
Archie says WOOOOOF!

Jim: "The rumble of Auld Shoogly (the Glasgow subway) is a classic sound of Scotland."

Purv in Selkirk: "The sound of a can of Tennents opening!"

Raymond Hogg in Edinburgh: "I loved listening to Bill Shankly talking with great passion and enthusiasm about football."

Gary: "Living in Renfrew as a boy, I loved hearing foghorns blasting from the Clyde on a dreich morning."

Daniel Sheerin: "The late great Bob Crampsey - the minute you heard his voice you knew the football was on."

Mark in Peterhead: "Great Scottish sounds? The sound of bitter analysis as England crash out of yet another tournament they were a stick on to win..."

TEAM OF THE WEEK

England goalkeeper Rob Green
England keeper Rob Green shows his delight at making the team of the week

The James Bond XI (aka Livi Let Die)

1. Campbell Moneypenny

2. Tam "Jaws" Forsyth

3. Zander Diamonds Are Forever

4. Lorenzo Amoruso (Plenty O'Toole)

5. Bobby Moore (Goldfingers)

6. Die Another Darren O'Dea

7. Tony Cascasino Royale

8. Ian McCall (did an Oddjobby in Simon Stainrod's shoe)

9. Frank McAvennie (Pussy Galore)

10. Dwight Yorke (cos nobody can Roger Moore)

11. Any St.Johnstone player (so they can finally see a Q)

Sub: Rob Green (Licence To Spill)

AND FINALLY...

The last word this week goes to Marie in Ayr who said: "Andy McLaren might not be a bad boy these days, but I'd still love to give him a spanking. Meow!!!"

To join in the fun on this Saturday's show, call 0500 929500, text 80295 or email: offtheball@bbc.co.uk.



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