Off the Ball's Dad's Army XI

John Martin - played with Airdrie until his 60th birthday, then signed for Albion Rovers under-12s. The original madcap goalie.

Sandy Jardine - as dependable as a pensioner working part-time in a DIY store, young Sandy starred for Hearts when they were good.

Bobby Collins - had the looks of a Western gun-slinger and a certain "vintage" quality to match.

Andy Millen - (he's the old-looking one) the Private Frank Pike of the Off the Ball Dad's Army XI. He looks 41; he's actually 42. Incredible.

Richard Gough - ironically, the craggy defender played for every team in Britain except Walmington-On-Sea Rovers.

Bobby Russell - time did not wither the looks or talents of wee Boaby. As classy as the Nivea cream he obviously used.

Kevin McAllister - they ought to have Crunchie stuffed and placed as an exhibit in the Scottish Football Museum when he croaks it in 2082.

Dean Windass - seen here celebrating an equaliser against Rangers. Windass scored Hull City's first goal in 1812.

Jimmy Bone - here Jimmy isn't coaching, but enjoying special dispensation as a player to wear extra layers to keep the cold out

Craig Brewster - never really aged, but only because he had grey hair as a youngster at Tannadice. That's the Jim McLean effect.

Tommy Hutchison - began his career at Alloa in 1965, finished at Merthyr Tydfil in 1994, aged 46. The original Tommy Zoom.

Sub. Jim Gallacher - this specimen of the Neolithic Age can remember when Scotland last got to the finals of a major football tournament.

Sub. Davie Cooper - with thighs that could kick-start a jumbo, Coop was skinning players half his age when he played for Motherwell.

Sub. Robert Prytz - Swedish Player of the Year in 1986, still playing for Pollok Juniors in his 40s. Better legs than the Abba girls.

Jo Venglos, seen here on the left with Captain Mainwaring, is the manager of the Dad's Army XI.

Back

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Next