That's us done - ecstasy for England, what-if for Wales, iffy from Ireland and a spanking for Scotland. Thanks for the chat and contributions - enjoy the rest of this soggy Saturday.
From penelope pitstop on 606:
"A massacre, a merciless, brutal, bloody massacre. Regroup, regroup, retreat, retreat. Reminds of the England days under Robinson."
Hard to find a single positive there for Scotland - they were well and truly mangled. Frightening evening for the Murrayfield crowd; the All Blacks imperious, SBW and Carter outstanding.
This from Sonny Bill: "We've done a lot of hard work and it's good to get a win tonight."
1858: FULL TIME Sco 3-49 NZ
Max Evans is down injured with a stretcher coming on, and referee Dave Pearson decides to call it quits there - still time on the clock, I thought, but he's calling a halt to the massacre.
1854: TRY Ellis Sco 3-47 NZ
"Simple rugby done very very well," says Andy Nicol on BBC TV, and it's hard to argue with that. Men drawn in midfield, lots of support, pass given at right time. Try no. seven; Donald converts for 3-49
As with all of Scotland's efforts, it comes to naught.
Scotland going from side to side, midway inside the All Blacks' half. Jackson off-loads sweetly to Barclay and Scotland will have a scrum 25m out.
South Africa up next for Scotland, and then Samoa. Sobering prospect for Robinson.
The highly-rated Ruaridh Jackson on for his Scotland debut. 11 minutes for him to get a taste of international rugby.
1841: TRY Conrad Smith Sco 3-40 NZ
All too easy. Overlap in midfield, the ball goes through hands and Conrad Smith strolls over. Donald drills over the conversion for 3-42
Jacobsen finds himself at centre again and has a rumble. Hines spills the ball and the pass went forward to boot too. Scrappy.
20 minutes left on the clock, and the All Blacks are content to make the changes and just rumble through the phases. Curious second half this - like an extended series of training-ground drills.
Scotland are trying to play a fluent off-loading game, but they just can't hang on to it. McCaw off for the visitors, who are cruising with the top down.
And again. NZ happy to collapse the scrum , but Scotland are making so little headway against this black wall of a defence. Sterile period in the game.
Carter will take a blow; Donald comes on in his place. Scotland opt to scrum a penalty midway inside the NZ half.
1821: TRY Muliaina Sco 3-33 NZ
Those off-loads from Sonny Bill - they're deadly. He draws in the covering tacklers and then flicks out of the back of the hand to release his full-back, who glides into the corner with minimal fuss. Carter, cool as cucumber, curls the conversion over from the touchline for 3-35
Scotland just can't get their hands on the ball out there. They've barely troubled the Kiwis at all, and Murrayfield is eerily quiet.
Phase after phase from the All Blacks, pounding away, suddenly exploding through Gear down the left. Sean Lamont is offside and there'll be a kickable penalty, but McCaw opts to take the scrum.
Great take by Muliaina as the ball is hoofed at his chest at pace. Another cheeky off-load from SBW and New Zealand will start to probe again.
Here come the two teams again. Early line-out for Scotland, but Jacobsen knocks on.
From eirebilly on 606:
"To try and see some positives, Scotland did start to play a bit better in the last 10 minutes of the first half so hopefully they wont have a similar scoreline against them in the second half."
1801: HALF-TIME Sco 3-28 NZ
Scotland will have a joust here, but they're going nowhere. A pass out wide drops into touch, and that's the break. Sobering times for Andy Robinson.
Mike Blair's in trouble here, and he'll have to go off - which means on will come Greig Laidlaw, nephew of the the great Roy. What a player his uncle was, eh?
Wave after wave of Kiwi attack, but at last Scotland defend well. Jacobsen puts in a big hit and Evans forces a relieving penalty. Two minutes until half time.
Carter kicks a pen to touch and the All Blacks will have a line-out 13m out.
It's gone awfully quiet at Murrayfield. Kelly Brown tries to pick and go but gets driven backwards, Rory Lamont then knocks on. Hmmm.
Right - here's the history. The most points Scotland have conceded at home to the All Blacks was 51 in 1993 (15-51); the biggest margin was 40-0 in 2007. Half an hour gone.
From duckmachine on 606:
"I fear for Scotland ... you'd have to have masochistic tendencies to have paid for a ticket to the game."
1746: TRY Gear Sco 3-26 NZ
Way too easy. Carter puts Gear in space and the winger ghosts through three feeble attempted tackles to cross for his second try on the angle. Carter converts for 3-28
McCaw penalised for going off his feet, and Parks will kick to touch. The ball is lost from the line-out, but Scotland get the ball back on the line only to spread it to the isolated Max Evans who gets turned over.
20 minutes on the clock, and if the All Blacks are in remorseless mood here this could be a very long hour for Andy Robinson's charges.
20 minutes on the clock, and if the All Blacks are in remorseless mood here this could be a very long hour for Andy Robinson's charges.
1738: TRY Muliaina Sco 3-17 NZ
Class act, class play - Carter down the right, full-back drawn, the full-back coming up on the inside to scoot in under the posts. That's how you celebrate your 92nd cap. Carter with the icing on the cake for 3-21
Lovely scything run from deep by Southwell, but Ross Ford knocks on - brutal driving tackling from the tourists, and they'll have the scrum just inside their own half.
Scotland have a little dart in the outside channel, but there are black-shirted defenders all over them.
1730: TRY Carter Sco 3-12 NZ
Turnover ball, a rapid-fire break, Carter supporting on the inside as Southwell is exposed and he'll race under the posts. Extras for 3-14
1728: TRY Hosea Gear Sco 3-5 NZ
Quick ball off the scrum, lovely angle from Sonny Bill Williams onto Cowan's flat pass and even better off-load out of the back of the hand to put Gear in under the sticks. Dan Carter pops over the conversion for 3-7
The All Blacks knock on as they look to go wide left, and Scotland will have a scrum. The hit is too early, though, and the tourists will have a free kick.
Parks can kick to touch from a pen but misses - sloppy. John Barclay sporting an excellent Movember 'tache, btw.
1721: PEN Parks Sco 3-0 NZ
Solid start this from Scotland, with the loose forwards looking to off-load from the tackle - the All Blacks are pinged for not releasing, and Parks will have the chance to atone with three points from the 10m line, just to the right of the posts - mmm, right down the middle...
Parks has his hands on the ball in space but opts to kick through, and the ball goes dead. Waste.
Anyone reckon Scotland can cause an enormo-shock? Anyone?
Flower Of Scotland. Max Evans sings along with a poppy in his training top. We're almost there.
A lone piper atop the East Stand, erm, pipes the players onto the pitch. The lights are dimmed, the fireworks bright. Minute's silence coming up.
From hawick on 606:
"Scotland not having played together for some months, I fear they could be swept away almost before they've started."
We're back. Good breather? So - two super matches so far, one not so hot - what can Scotland and New Zealand serve up in the stygian gloom of Murrayfield?
Right - here's the plan. We'll take a little breather until 1700, and then go again for Scotland v the All Blacks. I might grab a tea for the head and some ice for the fingers.
From rugbydreamer on 606:
"Brilliant second half by SA, their defence at the end was superb. excellent match, just wish we could have won!"
This from Martin Johnson: "I thought we played pretty well. When we played we looked very good. A lot of outstanding performances from the players. Let's just remember what we did to get here. Enjoy the win, and I'm very happy for everyone in the group.
Two thrilling games, one so-so, but that's a great afternoon of international rugby. Watching three matches simultaneously has almost killed me, mind. I'm in bits.
From Trebell on 606:
"Awesome win for England. Cannot wait for the 6N. If they play at that pace away to Ireland it could be a brilliant game."
1619: FULL TIME: Wales 25-28 SA
Wonderful defence, and there's just no gap out there - no, it's gone, and South Africa have hung on. In 25 meetings the Boks have now come out on top in 23, and there was a real chance for Wales there. The losing margins in the last three meetings? Five points, three points, four points. Ouch.
Penalty after penalty, and this is still alive...
Ach, Shanklin gets it standing still and is driven back - there'll be a turnover here, and Steyn kicks deep. Welsh line-out on the SA 10m line.
Great defence, but Wales are driving and driving...
Three minutes left in Cardiff. Stephen Jones kicks through but the Springboks clear. Or do they? Wales have it back - three on two out wide, the ball is kicking through, and Wales have a line-out 4m from the line...
1611: FULL-TIME Ireland 20-10 Samoa
Ireland wrap up the win but with a very patchy performance from the men in green in an error-strewn match. Not going to give New Zealand any nightmares ahead of next weekend's match in Dublin.
1610: FULL-TIME England 35-18 Australia
The best performance by England under Martin Johnson. No two ways about it.
Hodgson on for England. Wales on the attack, but Hook spills the ball. Very side to side in Cardiff.
Wales need a miracle here - the Boks soaking up the pressure, the clock ticking down.
1604: PEN Flood Eng 35-18 Aus
Great England pressure again, and there's only one result - another penalty, bang in front, and Flood has broken the record for most points scored by an Englishman against the Wallabies. This would also be a record-breaking win for England over the green-and-gold.
Cueto again, and he's had his best England game for a long, long time. England scrum 10m out, and Care will snipe.
Shanklin slices through the midfield, one-on-one with the full-back but takes contact and South Africa clear. Chance wasted.
Remarkable - from a line-out on the England 5m line, replacement Steve Thompson opts to go long to Easter - way long. England clear and Sweet Low rings out.
1559: PEN Flood Eng 32-18 Aus
Ashton so close, snagged at the death - England must score... no, held up but illegally. Flood sticks over the pen for his 22nd point, and with 10 minutes left surely that'll be it, no?
1558: PEN M Steyn Wales 25-29 SA
Ach - Ref Walsh doesn't like that, but Steyn does...
1556: TRY O'Gara Ire 18-10 Sam
Against the run of play, Ireland find themselves in a threatening scrum position. The ball is fed out to the lurking O'Gara and he goes over underneath the posts and promptly converts his own try to give the Irish some breathing space.
South Africa withstand a fierce Welsh assault and then go on the attack. They'll have a scrum on the home 22. Ryan Jones on for Wales.
1553: TRY Beale, Eng 29-18 Aus
Over 100 carries from England, but here come Australia again - Lawes and Hartley get in wrong, replacement Slipper rumbles through and Berrick Barnes gets the ball wide for Beale to cross for his second. You can't give these boys an inch. O'Connor... nope, not extras. Smashing game.
Tindall off, Delon Armitage on. Super atmos in both London and Cardiff; 18-ish minutes left.
Samoa's strength in the tackle is forcing Ireland into making errors, and another penalty sees Williams just miss out with an effort from 40 yards. This game is starting to drift Samoa's way.
Danny Care on for Youngs as England batter at the Aussie line. The ball goes to ground three times but always backwards, until finally Tindall loses it in contact. It's relentless.
1547: TRY George Wales 25-26 SA
I don't believe it - what an afternoon of rugby... Cross-kick from Stephen Jones and the teenager is there again to gather and score. Jones can't convert, but the game is sizzling.
1545: TRY Matfield Wales 20-24 SA
Boks possession of halfway big carrying from the Beast, ball recycled 5m out and the record-breaking Victor Matfield dummies the pass before crashing over. All going wrong for Wales. Steyn again for 20-26
1544: PEN Flood Eng 29-13 Aus
Nice work from Cueto down the left, and the faultless Flood drifts the pen over to ease the nascent nerves.
1543: PEN Williams Ire 13-10 Sam
Samoa are rewarded for a decent passage of play with a penalty - Paul Williams hits the upright with his kick and the ball pings off it and over to make the score 13-10 as the rain continues to fall in Dublin.
1542: TRY Alberts Wales 20-17 SA
Sa win a line-out 5m out, big carry, quickly recycled out to the right and that's a simple finish. Steyn pops 'em over from out wide for 20-19
1541: TRY Beale Eng 26-11
Wonderful finish by the flying Aussie full-back, chipping over Foden and racing through to touch down. Great comeback, great score, and what a game we've got here. O'Connor with the afters for 26-13
Chisholm intercepts and Australia are almost away. Boks looking much more dangerous in Cardiff, but they butcher another chance.
1538: PEN M Steyn Wales 20-12 SA
He doesn't miss those...
It could have been 19-11, but England are now away. Genia looks to be limping off injured too. Croft rampaging, Youngs controlling, Ashton finishing.
1534: TRY Ashton Eng 24-6 Aus
Oh my word - that is one of the great Twickenham tries. Australia are all over the England line and look certain to score, but a huge hit from Palmer forces a turnover - Lawes is away, feeds Ashton on the right and the winger scythes through the cover to sprint a full 90 metres for a wonderful try. Flood converts for 26-6
, and Twickenham is going ripe bananas.
1532: PEN S Jones Wales 20-9 SA
Good start from Wales too...
Second half begins in Cardiff as England continue their excellent start. Easter and Palmer making good yards with ball in hand but it all ends at Hartley infringes. Only two minutes left on Giteau's sin-binning, though.
1528: PEN Flood Eng 19-6 Aus
Ireland under way, and England too - early chance for Flood after more excellent rumble and dash, and that's beautifully judged.
From BBC Northern Ireland pundit Mick Galway at half-time:
"The line-out is going very well for Ireland but there is still a problem with the scrum."
From BBC Sport's Sean Davies in Cardiff:
"Belief in the Millennium Stadium has been re-fired after a stunning first half by Wales. Can they hold on and end their Tri Nations hoodoo? Not sure what's going to happen after Steve Walsh's controversial refereeing, though. The Boks are fuming after the George North try - and the crowd are in uproar after he allowed South Africa time for that final attack."
From I-am-Spartacus on 606:
"England are showing far more hunger than Australia at the moment. Youngs, Hape, Croft, Easter, Lawes - I could list the whole team who are all playing blinders right now. Unfortunately this aggression is leading to a few penalties."
1517: PEN M Steyn Wales 17-9
South Africa butcher an overlap on the left but they'll come back for an earlier infringement. The tourists outplayed, but they're very much in this.
1516: PEN O'Connor Eng 16-6 Aus
Sheridan that time, I think, and O'Connor reduces the deficit. And that's half-time.
1514: HT Ire 13-7 Samoa
Wet and nasty in Dublin, not a great spectacle.
1512: PEN Flood Eng 16-3 Aus
Flood eases it over, and England have made a huge step up from last week in this game so far. In Cardiff, there's blood gushing from Tom Shanklin's head - think it met the immovable object that is Andy Powell's bonce.
Wales going a bit sideways. Very much forward from England - Flood down the left, Youngs again, kick through, O'Connor scragged - England all over him, and that's surely illegal from Giteau - not moving away, and he'll be yellow-carded for that. Penalty.
1507: PEN Flood Eng 13-3 Aus
Good strength from Foden after Cooper's chip from deep is easily read by Youngs, and the Wallabies fail to release him. Flood slides home a squeaky one, and Twickenham - for once - is alive.
1505: PEN O'Connor Eng 10-3 Aus
Bread Of Heaven ringing out in Cardiff. Scrum time in London, and Dan Cole is penalised for collapsing. Not sure he agrees with that. O'Connor again, this time from 43m - yup, he's nailed it this time, right down the middle.
Tindall's turn to draw the official's ire, and O'Connor will have his third chance, again from distance but makeable - whooah, off the post this time. Could be 10-9, but it remains 10-0. O'Gara makes it three from three in Dublin to make it 13-7
1501: PEN S Jones Wales 17-6 SA
Springboks not enjoying the reffing of Steve Walsh - penalised for not releasing at the tackle, and Stephen Jones doesn't miss those.
1459: TRY Ashton Eng 8-0 Aus
Easter runs right through Cooper, and England are away - wonderful recycling, phase after phase, great support. Croft off-loads, and Ashton smashes over through two desperate Aussie tacklers. Flood pots a simple one for 10-0
. England playing as well as they have for a long time.
1456: TRY Tuilagi, Ireland 10-5 Samoa
Hello - that makes it interesting - showy dive under the sticks, and the extras added for 10-7
. Heaslip Ireland's try-scorer a moment ago.
Sustained Wallaby pressure, but that's a big hit from Flood on O'Connor - the ball goes loose, and Youngs will have the put in.
1453: TRY, Ireland 8-0 Samoa
And extras from ROG for 10-0. My correspondent not quite sure who touched down from a big forward rumble. More in a mo.
1452: PEN M Steyn Wales 14-6 SA
Andy Powell penalised, and Steyn will have his third chance - yup, easy peas.
1450: TRY Hook Wales 12-3 SA
What a try - SA kick deep, Byrne fields and feeds North - rampaging run from the teenager, quick recycling from the tackle, fizz the ball out left and Shane ghosts off on a classic outside break, feeds Hook inside after committing the full-back. Jones adds the extras for 15-3
Still 3-0 in Dublin.
Very even in Cardiff, Bradley Davies carrying well. England making all the running in south-west London, Youngs busy and aware.
1446: PEN Flood Eng 3-0 Aus
Quick work from Ben Youngs, going up the blind side and feeding Flood - Tindall rumbles on, and England are deep in the Aussie 22. All started from Tom Palmer's thumping tackle that brought a turnover. Aus infringe at the breakdown, and Flood slots a simple one to huge cheers from the Twickenham crowd.
Wales - I think it was Rees - done for monkey-business at the ruck, and Steyn will have another chance here - 10m line, on the angle... missed left. Well well.
Another Wallabies penalty, England pinged for not releasing - O'Connor from near halfway, but that one slides just wide. Ironic cheers.
So close from the Springboks - Habana escapes down the line, ball inside, held up a yard short of the line. Splendid start in Cardiff, nice and open.
England infringe 35m out and James O'Connor has a chance to open the scoring - nope, hooked across the nose of the posts.
1437: TRY North Wales 5-3 SA
Amazing start - teenager George North crosses after Shanklin takes out De Villiers and leaves a massive gap. Jones with the extras for 7-3
England go through the phases, only for Dan Cole to spill the bal in contact on the Wallaby 22.
Toby Flood gets England under way. Sheridan has a rumble just shy of halfway.
1433: PEN M Steyn, Wales 0-3 SA
Wales offside at a ruck, the Morne machine doing the business. And Ireland lead 3-0
after an O'Gara pen.
They're under way in Cardiff, anthems at Twickenham.
Two minute's silence at Twickenham, impeccably observed. Not so well-observed in Cardiff, which is a shame.
Players coming out in Twickenham, anthems in Cardiff. Alun Wyn Jones giving it the full wallops as always. Magnificent.
Quick prediction for Most Dangerous Man this afternoon? Two words: Quade Cooper. What a player. If he's lost to league after the World Cup, we should all bow our heads. And I like league.
From Stargazer on 606:
"England to win today. The other Home Nations to go down bravely, but to go down."
From BBC Sport's Sean Davies in Cardiff:
"Ex-Wales hooker Garin Jenkins has been remembering losing 96-13 to the Boks in 1998 - then beating them in Cardiff a year later! Some turnaround... he also had to wear a hard hat in training for the latter game when throwing in to line-outs at the not-quite-finished Millennium Stadium!"
Roof on at Millennium Stadium, numbers inside limited so far. Never a problem piling in late in Cardiff though. Leg it from St Mary Street at 1452 and you'll be home and hosed for the start.
Grey old day in south-west London, not least with the new England kit. Beg your pardon, it's "anthracite". Personally i think it looks okay - in no way as bad as that woeful purple v the Pumas this time last year, in no way as good as the retro cream-coloured number v Wales last spring.
Scotland, famously, have never beaten the All Blacks. There's a first time for everything, of course, but is this it?
Ireland, of course, have lost their last four matches. They'll fancy ending that run against Samoa today, with coach Declan Kidney making 10 changes from last weekend's defeat by South Africa and bringing back the experienced Ronan O'Gara and Peter Stringer at nine and 10.
From Barney McGrew Did It on 606:
"Is today the day Oz are going to lose twice at rugby?"
What of England? Let's get the bad omens out of the way first: Martin Johnson's men have lost four of their last six matches at Twickenham, and their last three matches against the Wallabies in south-west London. On the brighter side, they did the business last time the two sides met, in Sydney in June.
Wales supporters - let's try to lift the mood. Lee Byrne's return at full-back means the Mercurial James Hook (TM) can work his, ah, mercurial magic at centre. And what of monster-sized teenage wing George North?
Not good news for Wales this - Lions prop Gethin Jenkins and flanker Dan Lydiate are both out of the Boks clash with late injuries. Paul James and Andy Powell move up off the bench. John Yapp and Deiniol Jones into the replacements' ranks. Ominous.
BBC Sport's Bryn Palmer on
at Twickenham: "It's that classic colour match-up 2day -anthracite v green+gold. Any1 else wonderin why Eng r sportin their new 'away' kit at home?"
Horrible weather, dismal amounts of daylight, piles of wet leaves hiding unspeakable piles of dog-do horror in their depths - if it wasn't for a sparkling afternoon of top-flight rugby ding-dong, would mid-November really be worth bothering with at all?