A real clash of cultures today - the brio and verve and craft of the Aussie backs against England's brawn up front. From an England point of view, brawn will only get you so far in international rugby - and I know how I'd prefer my team to play...
FULL-TIME - Australia 27-17 England
There's the hooter and Cooper boots the ball off. Another Australian win against England at home and they thoroughly deserve the win.
79 mins - PENALTY Australia 27-17 England
Lawes gives away a penalty and it's Quade Cooper
with the chance to draw the curtains on England. Through it goes from plum in front and you can't really argue with that, England don't deserve to win this, while Australia do.
Barnes with the grubber but Foden collects and half-breaks. Flood, now at centre, carries it clear but Australia eventually turn it over and Quade Cooper pins them in their own 22.
Ioane with a ricket - poor kick from Cueto and England have a scrum... another huge heave from the England pack and it's Wilkinson with the half-break. Palmer with a surge, Haskell is held and Australia win the penalty. Cooper clears...
73 mins - PENALTY - Australia 24-17 England
Wilkinson is on - what price a last-minute drop-goal? O'Connor, slippery as an eel, slides off a couple of weak tackles down the left flank before Australia win a penalty, Easter pinged for off-side and O'Connor
kicks the three-pointer.
70 mins - TRY - Australia 21-17 England
This scrum from five metres out has now taken about five minutes to resolve and we're still not done. George Chuter is on for Thompson at hooker and this has now reached farcical levels, we've had two sets of substitutions in the time it's taken to sort this scum out. Penalty try! Boos ring round the Subiaco Oval and Flood kicks the extras. Anyone's game now...
Haskell into the fray as Australia's pack disintegrates again. Salesi Ma'afu is sent to the bin, Australia will have to make do with 14 men for the next 10 minutes. Daley is back on for the Wallabies and David Wilson is on for Tim Payne for England... that scrum buckles again...
Foden with a half-break before Thompson appears in the line. The ball shipped right and Lawes crashes through but this Australian defence takes some unlocking. Ashton very nearly breaks through but is pulled down just short and Australia very nearly hit England on the break but the final pass was forward.
Burgess is caught in possession by Youngs and England try to heave him over. Turnover ball and Youngs is orchestrating things well. Palmer is hauled down before Youngs snipes and is smothered. Cueto into the line but he comes up short and Payne just manages to keep it alive under a huge hit. But Barnes eventually steals the ball and Cooper clears.
Youngs into the fray for Care and we now have an all-Leicester half-back pairing. Courtney Lawes also on for his third cap, Simon Shaw off. Easter charges through, Youngs providing some snap, but Tindall is unable to burrow over.
58 mins - TRY - Australia 21-10 England
Flood goes after his own kick but Digby Ioane collects and spins out of the tackle and brings it clear. The chase not good enough again, Foden it was with the cover tackle. Australia's scrum holds firm for once and their backs make hay -Cooper with the miss pass, Ioane is missed by Foden and Cooper's
there on Ioane's shoulder to finish things off. Fantastic score, although the defending wasn't much cop. O'Connor
kicks the two-pointer from out wide...
54 mins - TRY - Australia 14-10 England
Australia smashed again at scrum-time and it's another penalty. Penalty try imminent? The scrum reloaded again and again and referee Owens does eventually award the penalty try below the posts. Flood kicks the extras and England are back in the mix.
Another shocking kick from Foden and Australia get the opportunity to counter again. Flood is smashed backwards like a piece of driftwood floating in the surf before Care steals the ball from Mitchell. Tindall kicks it away - again - but at last Foden shows some ambition, slipping a tackle in his own 22 before skipping clear and releasing Ashton. Tindall on the barrel but he's hauled down just short... Dan Cole requires four men to take him down and England are camped under the posts... Croft spins off the back and thinks he's scored, but Nigel Owens doesn't even bother going upstairs...
Cooper causing havoc whenever he gets his mitts on the book - an elegant player, he slips inside and flips the ball on. Burgess takes it left and O'Connor has space but England scrag him. Penalty against Tom Palmer and the Wallabies tap and go rather than kicking for goal - that says it all. Poor final pass though and Easter shows some sleight of hand, dummying the clearance before putting his boot through it.
44 mins - PENALTY - Australia 14-3 EnglandFlood
slots that penalty from just left of the uprights, England on the board...
We've reluctantly decided in the office that the one positive for England so far is Steve Thompson's beard - he'd look pretty good in an Elizabethan ruff. Another penalty for England from the scrum and this time Flood's given the orders to kick at goal...
Moody's up and about after treatment, that boy can take a punch. O'Connor kicks out on the full and we've got some knuckles back where the scrum was. It soon subsides and it's an England throw... Poor lineout and Elsom demolishes Care...
Mitchell skips out of a couple of tackles from the restart and it's as you were. Moody stays down, he's taken one to the side of head...
HALF-TIME - Australia 14-0 England
Australia win a penalty at the scrum, England penalised on the binding, and the hosts clear their lines. Burgess skips through again before the hooter sounds and another excruciating half of England rugby comes to an end. England ordinary, they're making an inexperienced Australia side look like rugby's answer to the Harlem Globetrotters.
Thompson finds Palmer and Shaw goes on the burst. Flood makes a half-break but is wrapped up before forward after forward is knocked back by an Australian defender. They're just not asking taxing enough questions of the Wallaby defence, England need to find a key but all they've got are shoulders, and bruised ones at that.
Care snipes and is hauled down five metres short. Ashton comes off his wing and is fed by Flood but it comes to nil. Nine more phases, make that 10 but they huff and they puff and can't blow the house down. Ashton with a poor pass, Moody offloads and England at least win the lineout.
England trying to get something going after goes for touch with the penalty. Easter is munched by the swarming Aussie defence before Shaw slams into a wall of Canary Yellow. Nine phases of attack, England in the penalty and Moodt opts for the scrum. I say nine phases but that doesn't mean they went anywhere...
32 mins - TRY - Australia 14-0 England
Care is charged down by Sharpe, but it work out well for England, it's their throw. Burgess ghosts through the England defence again before slipping it inside to Cooper
on the scissors, and the Queensland man scuttles over unopposed. Over go the extras, England are being taught a lesson in how to play rugby.
Croft with his first meaningful carry of the day but Australia win it back, and they're willing to run it from pretty much all parts. Cooper prancing like a gazelle and he leaves Care for dead with an elegant step inside. Naughty little kick through from Barnes, England pinned in their own 22 - again.
There is one area where England are dominating at the moment, and that's at the scrum. A penalty, and Flood tugs it right. Not getting any better for the tourists...
"If you don't want to scrummage, we'll have someone on who will," says referee Owens to the Aussie front row. The first time the ball has reached the Aussie 22, but it's a poor kick from Flood and it goes straight back down England's gullet. It's artists versus artisans at the moment and you wouldn't want many of these England players doing jobs on your house...
Australia are rumbled off the ball again at scrum-time but Easter is looking sharp as a balloon behind the pack at the moment, once again he's snagged. Cooper with the half-break but he's scragged and knocks on.
England were poor at chasing their own kicks in the Six Nations and they've been poor so far today. That suggests they're not learning, or certainly not quick enough. Once again they don't chase quick enough and once again a Wallaby player makes a break, Ioane punching through. Ominous for England, they can't get out of their own half.
19 mins - TRY - Australia 7-0 England
Australia disintegrating in the scrum again and it's Queensland's Ben Daley who bringing it down. Brilliant from Drew Mitchell, fielding a high kick and carving through the non-existent England defence and carrying it into the tourists' 22. A couple more phases before the ball is shipped right to Wallaby skipper Rocky Elsom
and the Brumbies man romps over in the right corner. England have to buck up here, they're getting savaged on the counter what with all these aimless kicks. Ring any bells?
Burgess with the dummy and go and he's through the England defence like a scimitar through the masts of a ship. Great cover tackle from Northampton's Chris Ashton, that was a try-saver on Mitchell.
14 mins - Australia 0-0 England
Cueto is charged down but Flood manages to swivel and clear. Faingaa throws long and misses his jumpers and Moody wraps it up and brings it clear. Poor kick from Care though, he's kicked it dead...
All Australia at the moment as Foden and Ashton are hauled into touch after a peach of a kick from Cooper. Cooper very nearly picks the lock with a blind pass inside, but a promising position comes to nothing after Dean Mumm knocks on. Big scrum, respite for England.
Tindall and Easter it was who came in from an offside position and it's the 19-year-old O'Connor on kicking detail with Giteau injured. Not sure what happened there, it was like he was kicking a beach ball and it missed well left.
Meaty clearance from Cueto again but Sharpe is unerring once again at the lineout. Burgess releases his skipper Rocky Elsom and he barrels clear. Burgess gets the ball back and flips a left-footed grubber into touch. Croft claims well at the lineout, but a poor box kick from Care puts England back under the pump. Penalty for Australia, England coming in from the side...
Scrappy start with neither side able to put phases together and it's time for another scrum. Nice hands from Flood to release Tindall but Tindall knocks on. O'Connor with a Campese goosestep after a poor kick from Foden and it sets up a great chance but the final ball is forward.
... England flex their muscles and Australia are rumbled off the ball - England free-kick. England go left but Australia turn it over and O'Connor gives us the first glimpse of those twinkly toes of his. Another Australian turnover but Cooper gets himself into a pickle and knocks on. Cueto finally calls for a mark and makes a good clearance.
Lock Nathan Sharpe is back in the Aussie side, and he's found by hooker Faingaa, but Australia knock on. The first scrum of the evening, this could be interesting...
Quade Cooper gets us under way, and England number eight Nick Easter is bundled into touch...
Plenty of England fans in at the Subiaco Oval, and they look up for this. With Australia sporting a very inexperienced front row and minus Matt Giteau, we could be in for a tight one...
Martin Johnson's England are looking for only their third win over the Wallabies on Australia soil but this is the first match between the sides in the Western Australian state of Perth. Former New Zealand rugby league player Shontayne Hape has been handed a debut in midfield for England, and with Mike Tindall alongside him, you sense Johnson's weapon of choice is the cudgel. James O'Connor, hat-trick hero for the Australian Barbarians last week, starts at 15 for the Aussies, he's some talent.
O'Connor, Ioane, Horne, Barnes, Mitchell, Cooper, Burgess, Daley, Faingaa, Ma'afu, Mumm, Sharpe, Elsom, Pocock, Brown. Replacements:
Edmonds, Slipper, Chisholm, Hodgson, Genia, Hynes, Beale.
England: Foden, Cueto, Tindall, Hape, Ashton, Flood, Care, Payne, Thompson, Cole, Shaw, Palmer, Croft, Moody, Easter. Replacements: Chuter, Wilson, Lawes, Haskell, Youngs, Wilkinson, Tait.
Right, it's Australia v England in Perth at 1100 BST, we'll also be covering that, so don't go flicking...
What positives, I hear you cry. Well, Munster prop Tony Buckley carried well throughout and Ulster's Dan Tuohy did likewise when he was introduced. D'Arcy also looked sharp after the break, and Tommy Bowe showed flashes. As for New Zealand, it's difficult to say. Dagg looked lively from full-back, as did Benson Stanley, nephew of 'Smokin' Joe, at centre. But there will be concerns about their defensive lapses after the break.
How to sum up? The loss of Heaslip after 15 minutes pretty much killed the game as a contest, and you have to say the All Blacks were pretty ruthless in the first half. But Ireland showed plenty of character after the break, scored a few tries and - believe it or not - they will take positives into their next game against New Zealand Maori.
FULL-TIME - New Zealand 66-28 Ireland
Collapsed scrum and Eoin Reddan takes a quick one. O'Driscoll gets munched as the hooter sounds and after a litany of errors and counter-punching, referee Wayne Barnes finally blows the final whistle.
77 mins - TRY - New Zealand 66-28 Ireland
Bit too easy for Whitelock
, but the Ireland boys must be in tatters to be fair. The replacement lock shrugs off a couple of tackles and barrels over, and that's now a record All Blacks points total against Ireland. Over goes the conversion...
76 mins - TRY - New Zealand 59-28 Ireland
Cronin, like a baby rhino with a dart up his backside, goes plunging into the All Blacks defence before the ball is shipped left and D'Arcy
goes over for another Ireland try. Sexton
with the conversion, what a very strange game.
Bit harsh that, the man upstairs decides Trimble lost control of the ball. Tell you what though, this has been a very respectable effort from Ireland in the second half, they're only losing it 21-14 and the All Blacks can't get out of their half.
Bowe comes plunging into the Ireland midfield, and Ireland are playing with real verve here. Sexton keeps it alive and is that a try from Trimble? He goes low and slides in under the challenge from Dagg...
Sexton on for O'Gara at fly-half, he's only just recovered from a gum infection. Sweet hands from O'Driscoll to release Bowe down the blind-side, and he's dragged down after grubbering through. Sexton kicks for touch.
O'Driscoll gives Kearney a chance to go at Rokococko, but the Ireland full-back knocks on. Dan Tuohy's put himself about a bit since he was introduced, and you can find positives if you spend enough time picking through the carnage. Geordan Murphy replaces Kearney.
67 mins - TRY - New Zealand 59-21 Ireland
Cruden's like a wasp caught in a lampshade with ball in hands, bouncing here, there and everywhere. He dances through before the ball is popped to Tialata
who barges under the posts. The conversion is slotted.
Tony Buckley has been Ireland's standout player today and that's another fine offload from the back of the hand. The All Blacks, who were as tight as a stocking pulled over an oil drum for 50 minutes, have suddenly slackened. But that's sharp from Dagg, countering and chipping through.
61 mins - TRY New Zealand 52-12 Ireland
This is good from Ireland - it was only ever going to be a face-saving exercise in the second half, and they're doing that so far. David Wallace driving a maul and Tommy Bowe's
over for an interception try as the All Blacks get sloppy under their own posts, a Richie McCaw pass deflecting into the hands of the Ospreys man. O'Gara
slots the conversion.
57 mins - TRY New Zealand 52-14 Ireland
Ireland's captain shows his class and his guts, finishing off 10 or more Ireland phases with a muscular dart betwen three New Zealand tacklers. Nice work from Buckley, and that's O'Driscoll's
40th international try. O'Gara
boots the two-pointer.
I said some time ago this could be a 70-pointer, but unless the All Blacks take their foot off the gas, we could be talking 80 or 90 as the Irish will only get more tired. Carter is off, replaced by Aaron Cruden. Only 21, he plays for the Hurricanes and has recovered from testicular cancer. D'Arcy is splattered in midfield, like meat being fed into a mincer.
51 mins - TRY New Zealand 52-7 Ireland
Sam Whitelock is on for his debut, replacing Brad Thorn in the second row. It's another one, Whitelock
with his first touch of the ball in an All Black jersey. Boric it was on the burst, flying onto a sweet pop pass, and the 21-year-old Boric touched down under the posts. Seventh try, Carter knocks over the extras.
47 mins - TRY - New Zealand 45-7 Ireland
Phase after phase after phase from Ireland before Healy sends a pass awry, Carter sends a sublime miss-pass wide, Jane floats past his marker and Conrad Smith
touches down under the posts. Carter
kicks the extras. Brutal, that was really brutal.
Lovely stuff from Kearney, swerving out of his own 22 like a Ferrari screaming out of a sweeping driveway. Sean Cronin goes on a barrel before Trimble dummies and goes. Buckley has impressed and here he comes with another carry. O'Leary offloads to Cian Healy and this is good mongrel from the tourists.
It gets worse for Ireland - flanker John Muldoon is off to hospital with a suspected broken arm and Mick O'Driscoll is off with a hamstring tear. Oh well, I hear the local brew's nice in New Plymouth... we're back under way...
Good line from Trimble after a half-break from D'Arcy, before loose-head Healy is pinged and the All Blacks clear. Dan Carter pins Ireland in their own half with a horrible little grubber, but Tomas O'Leary clears his lines and that's the first half over. Not much you can say about that - you're unlikely to beat the All Blacks in New Zealand with 15 men, trying to do it with 14 is like turning up to fight Floyd Mayweather with a hangover. Apologies for my mistake at 17-0 - it was of course a try, but you'll have to manually refresh this page for the error to be rectified.
37 mins - TRY - New Zealand 38-7 IrelandDan Tuohy
has scored for Ireland! Just introduced, the Ulster man picks up and goes and romps over unopposed. O'Gara
kicks the extras.
34 mins - TRY - New Zealand 38-0 Ireland
Carter shows and goes, the ball goes right to Kieran Read, comes back inside again and Jimmy Cowan
is there again to score next to the posts. Carter
with the extras, Ronan O'Gara's time on the naughty step is over.
31 mins - TRY - New Zealand 31-0 Ireland
And another try, this is bleak for Ireland, like attempting to open your front door in a rampaging snow storm. Jimmy Cowan
over this time, Carter pops over the conversion..
27 mins - TRY - New Zealand 24-0 Ireland
Dan Carter should score against 13-man Ireland but his slide comes up just short of the line. But there's another try down the right flank, Ben Franks
burrowing over and Carter pinging over the extras.
Damage limitation now for Ireland, but the way the All Blacks are shaping up, it could be a 70-pointer. Good hands from the unit that is Tony Buckley, but here come the All Blacks again... it's going from bad to badder... O'Gara gets a yellow for holding Cory Jane back without the ball, and although New Zealand eventually touch down, referee Barnes calls them back for the penalty.
22 mins - TRY - New Zealand 17-0 Ireland
Benson Stanley breaks the line now - the All Blacks, like frenzied sharks, can scent blood - before offloading to the rampaging Dagg. Here's Rokococko with his mitts on the ball but he's held up. The ball goes left, but that's a fine tackle from Bowe and the hosts have another try in the form of Kieran Read. Carter slots the extras from an acute angle, Ireland under the pump...
Sadly, or not, whichever way you want to look at it, referee Wayne Barnes probably got that right, no complaints from anyone, including Heaslip. Sean Cronin misses his man at the lineout and Conrad Smith goes blasting down the right... like a Weeble, Smith bumps off a couple of Ireland defenders but stays upright, but when the ball goes left, Richie McCaw eventually knocks on. O'Gara misses touch, the All Blacks come surging back...
O'Gara with the half-break before the prop Buckley rumbles down the blind-side. Better from Ireland, with Bowe probing down the left flank, but he's wrapped up. David Wallace looks to burrow over but is foiled, before D'Arcy slides right, then left, before looking to dart over, but he's held up. Bit of handbags... AND JAMIE HEASLIP
IS GIVEN A RED! DELIBERATE KNEE TO THE HEAD! Right, that's that then...
13 mins - TRY - New Zealand 10-0 Ireland
Ireland slipping off a lot of tackles so far as Cory Jane scuttles clear. The All Blacks break from deep, Benson Stanley goes left to Conrad Smith who kicks through. Kearney does make it across, but the ball bounces off his knee and Smith
is there to slide across for a try. Carter
with the extras, a real body blow for the tourists.
Ireland manage to string a few phases together and O'Gara puts a probing kick through that full-back Dag doesn't deal with particularly well. The All Blacks eventually clear the danger, but that's better by Ireland.
7 mins - PEN - New Zealand 3-0 IrelandDan Carter
easy as you like from right in front, a bristling start from the hosts...
This is referee Wayne Barnes' first game in New Zealand since the All Blacks' World Cup semi against France. They don't like him much. Cory Jane goes flying into the line like a cannonball through the side of a galleon, but that's a fine tackle by Ireland's Tony Buckley. It's an All Blacks penalty though, bang in front...
Benson Stanley of Auckland makes a half-break and the All Blacks go left, Dan Carter scything through at pace. Phase upon phase upon phase before Israel Dagg very nearly punches through, only for his pass to Stanley to go to ground. Ominous for the tourists.
Rob Kearney has a stab at a drop-goal from the halfway line, but it dies and drops just short. Decent idea though. Jimmy Cowan, the All Blacks scrum-half, kicks deep into Irish territory...
The good news for Ireland is that skipper Brian O'Driscoll is fit, the bad news is they've just had 15 very large men having a very intimidating sing-song about 10 yards from their faces... Ronan O'Gara gets us under way...
Dagg, Jane, Smith, Stanley, Rokocoko, Carter, Cowan, B. Franks, Mealamu, O. Franks, Thorn, Boric, Kaino, McCaw, Read. Replacements:
de Malmanche, Tialata, Whitelock, Vito, Weepu, Cruden, Guildford.
Ireland: Kearney, Bowe, B. O'Driscoll, D'Arcy, Trimble, O'Gara, O'Leary, Healy, Cronin, Buckley, O'Callaghan, M. O'Driscoll, Muldoon, D. Wallace, Heaslip. Replacements: Fogarty, Court, Tuohy, Jennings, Reddan, Sexton, G. Murphy.
Right, Ireland versus the All Blacks in New Plymouth, and they kick off in a few minutes - the Irish have never beaten New Zealand, stick around to see if they can change that tonight.