Staying up for the Series

By John May
Our Man on the Sofa

Interrupted sleep patterns...body clock out of kilter...the nocturnal lifestyle of a pipistrelle bat...suitcase-sized bags under the eyes...welcome to the World Series as seen by a British armchair fan.

The World Series is the climax of the baseball season, but the Fall Classic can all too easily turn into a Fall Asleep Classic for the unprepared sofa jockey.

For Brit baseball buffs like me, the problem is that live games are screened at the time when normal people have climbed the wooden hill to Bedfordshire.

WORLD SERIES SCHEDULE Sat, 18/10: NYY v Marlins Sun, 19/10: NYY v Marlins Tues, 21/10: Marlins v NYY Weds, 22/10: Marlins v NYY Thurs, 23/10: Marlins v NYY* Sat, 25/10: NYY v Marlins* Sun, 26/10: NYY v Marlins* (*if required)

Life for a Brit baseball fan is hard enough during the regular season.

While the internet will keep you abreast of events, live fixes come in the shape of games on Sunday and Wednesday nights, which stretch into Monday and Thursday mornings.

That involves either taking strategically-placed days off, having an indulgent boss, or taking more 'duvet-days' than Habitat's bedding-department sale.

An alternative strategy, and one I use, is the Early To Bed, Early To Rise ruse.

This involves hitting the sack around 9pm (difficult during those summer months when country pubs are so tempting) and setting the alarm for 1am.

One necessary ability I share with Napoleon and Margaret Thatcher is that of surviving on four hours sleep a night, supplemented by refreshing cat-naps during the day.

Experiencing the full-on World Series experience by television proxy, means turning your life upside down.

To save bloodshed, misery and workplace recriminations, I simply book a week's leave and hunker down.

Sleep-deprived fans are liable to suffer from hallucinations...

In the same way that any athlete prepares for a big event, the armchair fan has to hone himself to perfection.

Fitness can be improved and maintained by trips to the supermarket.

Vital coffee stocks need be maintained, along with the stocking up of essential snacks.

Catching up on your shut-eye during daylight hours can still make it difficult to stick out games during the wee small hours.

This is where climate control can take a hand.

During those balmy July and August nights it can be pleasantly cool to sit up late, perhaps with a window open while you watch.

But as October and chilly nights draw in, making sure the central heating clicks off between 10pm and 4am is a good way of keeping the room at chill-cabinet temperature and ensuring you stay awake.

Having been a baseball fan for many years, Channel 5's live screening of games has been both a blessing and a curse.

Although my team, the Braves, wimped out to Chicago Cubs in the Divisional series, I'll be root, root, rooting for the Marlins.

No hotdogs on demand for World Series sofa jockeys

Theirs is a fantastic tale this season.

I saw them while on holiday in Miami last summer, when they were little more than a disorgainsed rabble, playing to a mixed crowd of diehard Florida baseball fans and curious tourists that rattled around in the Pro Player Stadium.

I owe the Marlins a debt of affection which is damn decent of me considering.

A dangerously misleading overcast day lulled me into a false sense of security, and I failed to sun-block up on my legs.

I was burned and to this day, I still have the tell-tale tidemark halfway up my thighs.

Still, sunburn is one problem I won't have to cope with from the comfort of my armchair.