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Last Updated: Monday, 7 January 2008, 13:57 GMT
Greatest darts quotes ever
Former world darts champion Andy 'The Viking' Fordham
Andy Fordham was nicknamed 'The Whippet' as a child. Fact.
For two weeks only, darts takes the sporting spotlight as the new year sees two world championships.

Around the thud, sweat and beers, the battle of the oche provides some vintage comedy commentary moments.

From Sid Waddell to Bobby George, here are some of the best arrers soundbites of all-time...

NO BULL

I feel like a right muppet now.
The 2007 BDO champion Martin 'Wolfie' Adams bursts into tears after beating Phill Nixon 3-0 in a rerun of the previous year's final.

Before a match I like to relax with 25 bottles of Holsten Pils and six steak n' kidney pies.
Andy Fordham on his MySpace page before he was taken seriously ill in January 2007.

It really is fit or bust now for Andy.
Thirteen-time world darts champion Phil 'The Power' Taylor has a health warning for Fordham.

My wife says I'm not half the man I used to be, and she's not kidding.
Fordham on his recovery after shedding 10 stone.

Darts really can help with literacy.
BBC presenter Ray Stubbs to Sports Minister Richard Caborn. That'll be numeracy, Ray.

Who let the dogs out?
The Lakeside crowd after the tournament's first streaker on the oche in 2001 as Ted 'The Count' Hankey played Shaun Greatbach.

Shaun's broken-hearted because it was his first time here and he didn't perform.
Hankey gets a hankey ready for his opponent.

I wasn't nervous during the match but the streaker certainly affected my game. I just wish I'd got her name and address!
Greatbach gets the shakes.

He even went to Transylvania for his honeymoon.
Commentator Tony Green on the Dracula-loving 2000 BDO world champion Hankey.

Fangs ain't what they used to be.
Green warms to his theme.

I asked for the air-conditioning to be turned off, because it was blowing my darts all over the shop.
A technical glitch puts the wind up Mervyn King during his 2003 Lakeside final defeat.

WHEN DARTS GO BAD

The other day Phil was going on about how he could not get a set of table and chairs in his Bentley. What does he want a Bentley for? It is pathetic, absolutely pathetic.
Chris Mason on 13-time champion Phil 'The Power' Taylor.

I drive a nine-year old car and he rubs everyone's noses in it by driving round in a Bentley.
Mason warms to this theme.

Phil is lucky I'm not 10 years younger when my b******s were bigger than my brain. He is always giving it the 'Bertie big'.
Ok, Chris, time to let it go now.

At the end he effed and blinded at me. I'll see him upstairs in a minute and we'll see how big and brave he is.
Taylor crushes Mason but is unhappy with his beaten opponent's reaction.

If he wants to sort it out in the car park, I will see him there. I am a bigger man than him.
Mason hits back, although careful you don't scratch the Bentley, Chris.

I feel to receive a considerable amount of money due to the past week's exposure would be in bad taste and undermine my sincere regret.
Mason apologises and reveals he turned down a spot on Celebrity Big Brother. No, really.

BOBBY GEORGE

It's in his genes - it's in his 501s. Cushty-wushty.
Bobby George, former world darts finalist and BBC commentator. Never knowingly under-punned.

His darts used to stick out like tulips in the board.
On the improvement of Dutchman Vincent van der Voort.

Is ballrooming dancing a sport? It's recognised as a sport but I don't see any balls there.
Bobby defends darts as a sport.

Painter didn't play well early on - you could say he was up and down like a paint brush.
George turns to some DIY commentary.

SID WADDELL

Cliff Lazarenko's idea of exercise is a firm press on a soda siphon.
Commentator Sid Waddell on one of darts' biggest stars. In every sense.

Bristow reasons; Bristow quickens; aaaaah Bristow!
The 'Crafty Cockney' Bristow was different gravy.

We couldn't have more excitement if Elvis walked in and asked for a chip sandwich.
The darts can leave you all shook up.

William Tell could take an apple off your head, Taylor could take out a processed pea.
Tribute to 'The Power'.


SEE ALSO
Darts results
12 Oct 00 |  Darts


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