Player has won the Masters three times
"Man, that course is tough. Par for me is 80, so I was three-over par today."
The 72-year-old Gary Player sets a Masters record with his 51st appearance, but the "Queen Mother", as Peter Alliss calls him, props up the leaderboard.
"It took me half an hour [to lead the Masters] - it can't be that difficult."
Debutant Nick Dougherty laughs off his mixed opening of 74 after racing to two under with two birdies in his first three holes.
"That was a special moment. The hairs on the back of my
neck were standing up. It was great."
The hairs all over Ian Poulter's head are usually standing up, owing to the quantity of "product" he uses, so we can only assume he's referring to firing an ace on the 16th.
"It was a very similar day when I played in 1988 but the course is 700 yards longer and I'm 20 years older."
Sandy Lyle makes a pretty good fist of emulating the day he won the Masters with a level-par 72, marred by three dropped shots in the last four holes.
"I often look at younger ones taking on certain shots and think to myself -
Lyle again, enjoying his moment in the spotlight.
"I didn't hit very good shots and I didn't make many putts. When you do that, it kind of adds up to 76 which is very mediocre. It wasn't like I embarrassed myself."
Fred Couples acknowledges he has work to do to make a record 24th consecutive cut at the Masters.
"If you're not nervous, that means you don't care, so why play. I take great pride in what I do. So, yeah, you're going to be a little nervous, and that's a good thing."
Tiger Woods offers us a rare glimpse inside the workings of the machine.
"I don't usually get first-tee jitters on the tour. But I had them on number one, number two..."
Defending champion Zach Johnson admits to being struck by the same affliction that plagues most of us playing in front of one man and a dog.
"We live a couple yards away from each other down in Lake Nona (Orlando) and opportunity presented itself to come up here and we came up here for two days and had an absolute ball. Kind of like three kids going to your favourite golf course."
Trevor Immelman reveals how a fun golfing trip to Augusta two weeks ago with Justin Rose and Ian Poulter may have helped the trio's performance during the first round of the Masters.