By Matt Slater and Rob Hodgetts
BBC Sport at Carnoustie
Woods is playing in his first Open since becoming a father
"First it was getting engaged, then it was getting married and now having a child. It's always something."
Tiger Woods chuckles at the straw-clutchers trying to spot a chink in his armour.
"I don't spend much time hitting range balls. Probably at most three or four hours [a day]."
Tiger Woods shows why he's not like the rest of us.
"The more time I spend on the range, the less competitive I get."
Padraig Harrington insists game time is the key. Range rats take note. But bear in mind what Woods said above.
"Enjoyment in a major? You enjoy a major afterwards. From Thursday to Sunday it's hard work."
Ernie Els is presumably aware that working in a mine, say, is "hard work". Playing a game for bundles of cash and a nice cup, on the other hand ...
"The bookies are being a bit clever on that. There's a lot of home [factor]. They know they can pull the odds down a bit and people will still put money on me. It's nice, but it doesn't help me to win a golf tournament."
Padraig Harrington is surprised at being ranked fourth favourite, but reveals a good working knowledge of bookmakers' practices.
"If someone gives me a plane like those two, I can foresee that."
Zach Johnson shows that becoming the Masters champion has not affected his grip on reality as he is asked whether he would consider "popping" over to play the Open venue for a few days earlier in the year, like Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson do.
"My caddie is a nightmare because the last song he hears on the radio driving to the course, he sings all day and it gets into my head."
Justin Rose explains that any gentle swaying from him on the course is not necessarily a function of the wind.
"Golf is like riding a bike. You may not ride it very straight or very smooth, but you know how to ride it. When you figure it out, it usually straightens up."
Todd Hamilton, 2004 Open champion, laments the fact that since his glorious triumph over Ernie Els in a play-off at Royal Troon, his bike has needed stabilisers.
"I don't mind playing with my friends and shooting 75 or 76. You lose $5 or $10. But shoot that over here [at the Open], it's pretty tough."
Todd Hamilton reveals the full monetary extent of his current slump in form.
"I am sure there are many nice guys that have won majors. You don't have to be....nice guys do win."
You don't have to be what, Padraig Harrington? You don't have to be like Nick Faldo? Is that it?
"I have probably got more attention for being ranked two in the world than I did for winning the US Open. It's mind-boggling to me."
It's mind-boggling to us, Jim Furyk, that you were ranked two in the world for so long. But you're right, being Tiger's runner-up is no way to make a living.
"I would imagine that every little boy wants to be Tiger Woods, and mine are no different."
Former Open champion Paul Lawrie admits there will be split loyalties in his camp when he tees off with the world number number one on Thursday and Friday.