Quotes of the week

Man Utd v Chelsea

It was a goal that came from the moon - from the Anfield stands
Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho takes defeat against Liverpool in the Champions League well.

I just wanted to jump into the stand and start celebrating with those wonderful fans
Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard has a different take on things.

Normally you can hear DJ George playing his records but even he was drowned out by singing
Liverpool's Jamie Carragher on the atmosphere at Anfield for the Chelsea game.

If I had a body like that I wouldn't put a shirt on in the first place!
Hull boss Peter Taylor reacts to Southampton's Henri Camara earning a booking for taking his shirt off in celebration.

It's like being on the Titanic and seeing there is only one lifeboat left and we are all trying to dive into it!
Southampton boss Harry Redknapp feels the pressure at the bottom of the Premiership.

I stood there all day with a plastic angel in my pocket. I believe in fate - I'm as silly as a bunch of lights!
Redknapp on the lucky mascot given to him by his wife for the trip to Crystal Palace.

Hair today, gone tomorrow

I do not want to give Robbie Savage any more publicity. I am fed up to the back teeth with him
Birmingham manager Steve Bruce after the club's managing director Karren Brady revealed there was a gentleman's agreement that Savage would not play against his former club.

During my first matches at Newcastle, I just watched the ball pass over my head!
Laurent Robert bemoans the English long-ball game.

Robert Earnshaw, Zoltan Gera and some of our other players all do somersaults when they score and I'll be very happy if they're doing them next weekend
West Brom manager Bryan Robson hopes to see some circus tricks if his team stay up.

He is a phenomenal basketball player. He is actually only 6ft 7in but those long arms make him seem like he's 7ft
Newcastle Eagles coach Fabulous Flournoy on shorty Andrew Sullivan - who's only 6ft 7in.

It's one of the best moments in my career, it's unbelievable - if at the beginning of the season you had asked me if I was going to play in the Champions League final I would not have staked £1 on it
Liverpool defender Djimi Traore reveals he is not a rash gambler.

My fridge door is always open, Shaun

He used to come to my house, stay over, eat a whole fridge full of food - and then batter me on the snooker table
Coach Steve Prest on his early dealings with new snooker world champion Shaun Murphy.

Makelele scored and it's a miracle. In training, he had missed two out of two penalties!
Mourinho is amazed by Claude Makele's last minute winner against Charlton.

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IAN HOLLOWAY'S AMAZING END OF SEASON PRESS CONFERENCE

On celebrating:
I rung Kenny Jackett straight away to congratulate him on getting Swansea promoted and he said "I'm waiting to get my goalie out of jail". You can't even celebrate these days, can you?

On football shorts:
I tell you another crazy, crazy, crazy rule. We want women to come to football don't we? I think they're bloody pretty - a damn sight prettier than any bloke I've seen.

You talk to women about footballers and what do they like - they like legs and our shorts are getting longer. We should go back to the days when half your a*** was hanging out.

I can't believe those shorts are that long!

Why can't you let players lift up their shirts? Who is it disrespecting? What's wrong with letting a load of young ladies see a good-looking lad take his shirt off?

They'd have to watch other teams, though - because my team is as ugly as hell.

On the reporter who claimed QPR defender Danny Shittu would be sold:
Whoever that was, I'd like to pull his pants down and slap him on the a*** like I used to do to my kids. Apparently I'm not even allowed to do that any more otherwise I'll have the health and safety on to me giving it the old 'hello'.

The world's gone mad. Tony Blair won the election, so why's he gotta resign? I think the Conservative fella should. If he couldn't win an election with a failing government, or a flailing government, what's the matter with him? Get out you ain't no good. I know we're not talking football...we are, aren't we?