Quotes of the week

Think you're a boss? You're having a laugh!

I think we played rather well...For a friendly I thought it was good quality
Sven-Goran Eriksson gives his amazing verdict on England's bore draw with Holland.

It's amazing what you can see through Sven's specs - I must get a pair
Gary Lineker gives his reaction to Eriksson's thoughts.

I don't think it was a sending off. First there was a push and then Beattie just runs into the back of him
Everton boss David Moyes hilariously tries to defend James Beattie's sending off against Chelsea.

It's a man's game. He's running with his head down and gone into the boy
Moyes continues to dig himself a large hole.

What is a butt anyway? It's not possible to butt someone from behind. Isn't a butt when you catch someone on the forehead?
Oh dear.

With a bit of luck, the name Jimmy Brown will be engraved on the Masters trophy at the end of next week
Jimmy White on changing his name for snooker's Masters.

I'm not a homosexual but I realise now that I loved Clive Woodward
France coach Bernard Laporte on his relationship with his former opposite number.

How could you turn down our Bernard?

I'm angry because she was supposed to marry me!
Laporte when asked what he thought of Prince Charles' impending marriage to Camilla Parker Bowles.

I was taking Barnet to Bracknell this time last year - now I'm taking Brentford to Southampton
Brentford boss Martin Allen is up for the Cup.

The ref is from my neck of the woods and down there people say 'there's one in every village'
QPR boss Ian Holloway lays into referee Lee Probert who 'sent off' Rangers mascot Jude the Cat during the defeat by Preston.

I was freezing my nuts off!
Michael Owen describes his latest spell on the bench for Real Madrid, before coming on to score.

When I can't stretch to kiss my boots, I know it'll be time to hang them up!
Ipswich winger Darren Currie reveals his bizarre pre-match routine of kissing his boots - while still wearing them!