Oi! Two 99s over 'ere!
I'm looking forward to an ice cream there and some fish and chips. I'm planning to sit on the beach and get sunburnt. I'm planning to let the kids have a runaround too.
Southampton boss Harry Redknapp before his side travelled to Southend for a League Cup match. Harry's 'kids' won 3-0 in weather more suited to ducks than sunbathers.
It's a good performance to score four
goals against them. We have now scored more goals against them than any other
team in Europe - it's just a pity that they came in two friendlies!
coach Morten Olsen celebrates the 4-1 win over England - which followed the 3-2
victory at Old Trafford in November 2003.
She said "Hi Darren, you've been called up to the senior squad" and at first
I thought it was a wind-up, that someone was just having a laugh, so I didn't
pay too much notice to it!
Darren Bent on how he learned from England's team
administrator that he had been called into the senior squad.
I really like her family - they are all pretty cool. Let's be fair, it's not bad that they own a pub either!
Rugby ace Gavin Henson on life with Charlotte Church.
Maybe I can bring Andy Gray, Trevor Steven and Peter Reid back for the Champions League Game!
Everton boss David Moyes considers going back to the future in a bid to resolve his injury crisis.
Steve is an honest lad. There was no confrontation and if anyone spat at me, I would chin him.
Luton manager Mike Newell defends Steve Howard after the player was sent off for allegedly spitting at Carl Hoefkens in the game at Stoke.
It's another hole in eight
I feel like an octopus.
Darren Clarke on his golf swing.
I was going to do Football Focus today but the club reimbursed my money - that's the sort of deal I've got going here!
Veteran striker Steve Claridge on life at Gillingham..
Am I raging? That is not the right word - I am baffled.
West Ham boss Alan Pardew is puzzled by the controversial sending off of Paul Konchesky at Newcastle.
He scored the last time we were beaten here as well - I reckon he must have one over me!
Birmingham manager Steve Bruce is sick of the sight of former team-mate Andy Cole, who ended Blues' long unbeaten home run with a goal for Manchester City. The striker scored for Fulham the last time Birmingham lost at St Andrew's.
There is a reason I didn't go to West Ham, as I'm sure everyone can work out - I didn't want to leave my brother on the bench!
Darren Ward explains why he turned down a move to the Premiership and opted for Crystal Palace, because he didn't want to upstage brother Elliott at Upton Park. Or be upstaged, perhaps?
Kits is our official penalty taker but I wanted it for the hat-trick. We talked and eventually I let him have it, but only on condition he bought me a big meal - and I don't mean a Big Mac!
Two-goal Reading midfielder Bobby Convey gives Dave Kitson food for thought during the 5-0 defeat of Millwall.
This is what it really looks like, lads
The way we celebrated in Ibiza was a joke. The trophy was shaped like the European Cup and some players said 'lift it like the Champions League trophy'. It was tongue in cheek.
We told Kevin Gallen to run like Steven Gerrard did when he captained Liverpool to the cup. It was a joke but they obviously didn't get it.
QPR midfielder Marc Bircham after Coventry players suggested their 3-0 weekend defeat of the London side was revenge for the way they celebrated winning a summer tournament in Ibiza.