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Last Updated: Wednesday, 1 September, 2004, 11:21 GMT 12:21 UK
Quotes of the week
Marilyn Monroe
Just like watching Arsenal

They caress a football the way I dreamed of caressing Marilyn Monroe
Brian Clough gives his verdict on Arsenal after they beat Nottingham Forest's unbeaten record.

With them, it seems to be a case of 'if you score nine, we'll score 10'
Blackburn's Michael Gray comes up against the formidable Arsenal machine.

I can accept losing to a better team, but to lose against a team who shave their legs? I can't stand it
Djurgarden coach Kjell Jonevret after watching his side captitulate 4-1 to smooth operators Juventus in the Champions League preliminary round.

Stelios thinks he's a Greek god at the minute. He needs to get back down to earth with the rest of us
Bolton boss Sam Allardyce on Greek midfielder Stelios Giannakopolous, part of the team than won Euro 2004....then came back to sunny Bolton.

Joe Kinnear
Laugh, I nearly topped meself

I think I will go home and slash my wrists
Nottingham Forest boss Joe Kinnear is dead unhappy with his team after they are hammered 4-1 by Coventry.

It's incredible that she leaves me. Only recently I paid for her breasts. I paid 7,000 euros to make them bigger and now this
Hannover striker Mo Idrissou after splitting with girlfriend Selin.

It's the best start we've had all season and three lads were sat on the M40 with 20 minutes to go till kick-off - maybe we should try this more often!
Oxford United captain Lee Bradbury after three of his players just made it to the Shrewbury game following hold-ups on the motorway. Oxford won 2-0.

I thought I had a reasonable swim, the only thing was people were pulling my zipper down, obviously trying to pull me back, which is really disappointing.

Luckily the zipper didn't come down and once I got onto the bike I was OK, but I just didn't have the energy to go through and do the work. If I find out who it was, I'll get them
British triathlete Michelle Dillon reveals 'dirty tricks' afoot during the Olympics.
Michelle Dillon
Oi, leave the cozzie alone!

There is something I'd like to say to Colin Jackson...I've got a gold medal
Darren Campbell hits back at TV pundit Colin Jackson after winning gold in the men's 100m relay. Jackson had earlier criticised the standard of British men's sprinting.

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