Quotes of the week - Keegan and Goulding

Will Kev be due a visit soon?

At half-time I turned to Faz and said 'Where's the nearest job centre?'
Manchester City boss Kevin Keegan after watching his side go 3-0 down with 10 men against Spurs in the FA Cup.

I've told the players that people will still be watching that match when we're all six feet under...or cremated...or whatever we intend to do with ourselves
Keegan after watching his side turn it around to win 4-3.

That's the double-save of the season
John Motson invents a new award for City keeper Arni Arason during the same match.

When Portsmouth made it 3-3 we were thinking 'oh no, here we go again'
Tottenham midfielder Simon Davies has a touch of deja vu during the game with Portsmouth.

That Plan B's got a lot to answer for! Lindsey is very good at what she does!
Paul Hunter reveals the sexy secret behind his Masters triumph.

Hunter's plan of action

We have seen him even in training. How did I do that? With a hat and moustache!
Arsene Wenger reveals the lengths he went to in order to track new signing Jose Reyes.

I've told them it's no good training like Tarzan and playing like Jane
Bobbie Goulding on his new charges at Rochdale Hornets.

Fancy a spot of rugby, Jane?

My friend Freddy Shepherd (the Newcastle chairman) told me last night that the money we offered them wouldn't even get us LuaLua's left leg. Well, we now have both legs and the rest of him as well
Portsmouth chairman Milan Mandaric after signing Lomana LuaLua on loan from Newcastle after initially having a £1.5m bid for LuaLua and Andy Griffin rejected.

I'm still floating along on the clouds. I feel like God!
Bolton boss Sam Allardyce after his side beat fourth-placed Charlton 2-1 in the same week they also booked their place in the final of the Carling Cup at the Millennium Stadium.

Hopefully, my decision will be proved right and we will win through. I would keep my fingers crossed - but unfortunately, I can't
Simon Easterby looking ahead to playing in Llanelli's Heineken Cup clash with Northampton despite a broken bone in his hand.

Charlton fans to Claudio Ranieri: You're being sacked in the summer
Ranieri (shouting back to them): No, I will be sacked in May!

No-one gets in the way of my birthday

It's my 47th birthday on Monday so I don't want to panic just yet - I'll start to panic on Tuesday!
Southampton boss Gordon Strachan 'looks forward' to the Premiership game with Arsenal.

It ain't over until the fat lady sings - as far as I'm concerned, she ain't even stood up yet
Leeds striker Mark Viduka looks on the positive side.

We need a big, ugly defender. If we had one of them we'd have dealt with County's first goal by taking out the ball, the player and the first three rows of seats in the stands
QPR boss Ian Holloway after their Division Two game with Notts County.