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Page last updated at 09:02 GMT, Wednesday, 8 July 2009 10:02 UK

Sport quotes of the week

By Chris Charles

Theo Walcott
Sorry, mum

"Even my parents booed me off!"
Theo Walcott relives the moment he was substituted after an under-par performance in the England Under-21 game against Finland.

"A fast-bowler's breakfast is pain-killers and inflammatory tablets."
Injury-plagued Ashes hero Simon Jones - and he should know.

"Luis left me the toy with the batteries in."
Spain boss Vicente del Bosque thanks Luis Aragones for his part in their record-breaking run of 15 successive international wins.

"I speak on the phone to Niall Quinn more times than I speak to my wife."
Sunderland chief executive Steve Walton reveals there's three people in his marriage.

"There are coal piles around and there is a nice park next to the stadium. If that is not enough, then we will build a tower."
In the absence of mountains, new Schalke boss Felix Magath seeks some alternatives to use in his infamous training regime.

"It's an honour to be on the trophy with names such as that. I hope I don't downgrade it or anything with my name on there!"
Little-known US Open winner Lucas Glover on joining the illustrious company of Jack Nicklaus, Arnold Palmer and Tiger Woods.

"He said, 'I got four, I'm plenty good'."
US Open co-runner-up Ricky Barnes reveals Phil Mickelson was happy to see a straight fight between Barnes and David Duval for the tournament's only silver medal after 'Lefty' claimed a record fifth second-place major finish.

"KP was a big lump with a good right hand. Andrew was aggressive - he bruised my eye. He was the best of them, technically very good. Maybe he has a future in boxing."
Olympic boxing champion James DeGale after a sparring session with Ashes trio Andrew Strauss, Paul Collingwood and Kevin Pietersen.

"Kimi was, I don't know, drinking some vodka or dreaming or something."
Mark Webber has a pop at Kimi Raikkonen for blocking the racing line and ruining his chances of pole at Silverstone.

ANDY MURRAY'S TWEETS

28 June 10.44am:
"Was in a deep sleep until my dog, Maggie, jumped on me. She's not bothered by Wimbledon."

29 June 12.43pm:
"Had a phone call from Sean Connery - he called to say well done yesterday. Much nicer than someone trying to sell you a phone upgrade."

Andy Murray
Andy Murray Mint

25 June: 10.01pm:
"Tennis player snack name-game going on. Lleyton Chewit, James Flake, Boris Doubledecker, Dorito Starace. Get thinking......"

25 June: 10.04pm:
"Juan Martin del Popcorn, Vania Kingsize Mars bar, Gilles Muller fruit corner. Novak Yorkie-ovic..."

25 June: 10.22pm:
"John McEnrolo, Cod Woodbridge, Mardy Fishcakes, Prawn Borg, Martina Haggis, Mince Spadea, Egg Rusedski, Spotted Dick Norman. Too good."

27 June 11.38pm:
"Nicholas Tiramassu, Ernests Gulbiscuit. Jesse Levino? Juan Carlos Ferrero Rocher."

27 June 12.13pm: "Ryvita Gerulaitis. Genius from me :)"

26 June 9.41pm:
"Eating in tonight and trying to watch the Big Bro eviction. Really trying."

24 June 10.51pm:
"Got a nice letter from the Queen saying well done for winning Queen's. Put it in its own pile away from the bills."

BEST OF THE REST FROM WIMBLEDON

"I'm confused. There are bananas and Kit Kats in the locker room and there is a sign that says 'No consuming'. They told me not to eat and I abide by the rules. I don't understand why the food is there unless they found another way to consume it that I'm not aware of. I don't dare want to find out."
Food for thought (but not for eating) from Serena Williams at Wimbledon.

"It's a mixture of my favourite shows like Desperate Housewives, Sex in the City and Family Guy."
Serena keeps hunger at bay by penning a TV script in between matches.

Gisela Dulko
The woman of the moment

"I'm not only a tennis player - I'm a woman."
Gisela Dulko knocks out Maria Sharapova and stakes her claim to be the next tennis pin-up.

"He doesn't like it too spicy."
Indian restaurant waiter Mo Rhaman on the curry delivered to five-times Wimbledon champion Roger Federer.

AND SOME FROM YOU

"You don't need to be a rocket surgeon to work that out."
Barrie McDermott during the Hull KR-Wigan game.(Chris, Hull).

"For a guy with two hands, he has a good slice shot."
John McEnroe commentating at Wimbledon. A tennis player with two hands, eh John? (Jason Hill, England).

"If you have 26% possession and they have 63%, and the end score is 26-21, then who is playing badly?"
South Africa coach Pieter de Villiers on the Springboks-Lions Test - sounds like the stats guy was the one playing badly.(Timothy Harkness, South Africa).

"Now I don't think he's gonna charge for that, but Murray's just taught him a lesson."
Tim Henman at the end of the Murray-Troicki match.(Simon Richards, England).

"The Swedish player with long blond hair looks like the terrorist who assisted Hans Gruber in the Bruce Willis film Lethal Weapon."
BBC Radio 5 live commentator during the England-Sweden U21 game, clearly not realising that the film was in fact Die Hard. (Matthew Smith, Peterborough).

"Remember the name - Sabine Newitski."
Sue Barker, after Sabine Lisicki beat Svetlana Kuznetsova at Wimbledon.(Gary Robinson, UK).

"This is very much now about a mental state of mind."
Heard during the final set of the epic Haas v Cilic match at Wimbledon (I think it was Boris Becker). Aren't all states of mind mental?(Rory Chesworth, Norfolk).

Marvin the Paranoid Android from Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Will the real Roger Federer please stand up?

"Federer is human, but for how long?"
Wimbledon commentary about Roger Federer. (Jack, Warwickshire).

"Soder's lost his fizz, hasn't he?"
Chris Waddle on England U21 v Sweden U21. (Dave, Manchester).

"He (Rashid) has been very lucky to play with Michael Vaughan for a limited period of time."
Shane Warne on BBC website. Lucky not to have played with him more, Warney?(Tony Collins, Scotland).

"A wonderful improvised shot from Murray to win the point after a rally that was so improvised it should have been played at Ronnie Scott's!"
Radio 5 Live commentary from Wimbledon towards the end of Murray v Kendrick.(Noel, England).

"If it was a Maori dance it would be the Kaka Gaxa Haka."
Jonathan Pearce - South Africa v Brazil in the Confederations Cup. (James, England).

"And good news for Great Britain as Alex Bogdanovic and Mel South have won their mixed doubles match.... oh sorry, they've gone out! More disappointing news for Great Britain."
Sue Barker should have known Brits (apart from Murray) winning at Wimbledon was an unlikely story.(Dan, UK).

"There's usually been only one winner at the end of each point."
Virginia Wade during the Wozniacki-Kirilenko match at Wimbledon. You know, as opposed to the drawn points. (John Craggs, UK).

"Don't forget in the States it's a very different game...they call it soccer..."
Mark Bright commentating on the Spain-USA game after the Americans scored their second.(James Ewen, England).

Pearly King and Queen
Zola reveals his new signings

"I'm going down the apples and pears, into the jam jar, down the frog and toad into the rub-da-dub-dub, and Im going to have pig's ear."
West Ham boss Gianfranco Zola when asked on the club's website if had learnt any Cockney phrases.(Mickey, Harrow, England). I searched for 'Cockney' on the West Ham website to see whether this was true and lo and behold there is a section where he 'tries out his best Cockney rhyming slang' - Ed.

"The Atmosphere at Silverstone is second to none, apart from Monza."
Commentator at the British Grand Prix.
(John Cargill, Scotland).

"No-one quite wears the green-and-gold quite like him...except here, where you predominantly wear white..."
Tennis commentator on Lleyton Hewitt, in his Wimbledon match against Del Potro.(Simon Reed, England).

"We don't talk about it in the locker room, but it's happened more frequently than we talk about it."
Roger Federer on the dangers of betting in tennis.(Dave, Scotland).

"That's what you call a suicide lob."
Virginia Wade describing tennis' version of the hospital pass as Georgie Stoop sets up the ball to be smashed straight back at the body of her doubles partner, Laura Robson.(Stephen F, UK).

"Xabi Alonso could be at Real Madrid next season...then again anyone could be at Real Madrid next season."
Jonathan Pearce commentating on the Spain-USA game. (Alex Mampaey, UK).

"Breaking the bank is not a term the chairman would be keen on. But he's certainly someone that you would push the boat out for."
Hull boss Phil Brown on Michael Owen. (Peter Martin , UK).

Carlos Puyol
Sheep? Ewe must be joking

"You can tell by his reaction...he looks a bit sheepish."
BBC3 commentator during Spain-USA at the Confederations Cup gives shaggy-haired Carlos Puyol a shearing.(Matt Gowie, England).

Presenter: "So, how tough was it out there today?"
Ross Fisher - In a word, "pretty terrible".
US Open golf - Sky Sports.(Robert Broadhurst, England).

"When I was asked to write a message for your brochure I gladly accepted as I remember my first school tour of England was Wales. The experience proved extremely useful in my development of a cricketer."
South African cricket captain Graeme Smith in a message to a South African cricket club touring around England this summer. The experience clearly did not improve his geography. (David Gradon, Surrey).

Interviewer: "So, do you have just one word for Andrew Murray?"
Female spectator: "Go on my son!"
Before one of Murray's Wimbledon matches.(Jamie, Rugby).

"He'll be on the radio for fresh underpants."
Martin Brundle after Lewis Hamilton nearly span during British GP qualifying. (Conor, N Ireland).



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