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Page last updated at 14:16 GMT, Wednesday, 6 May 2009 15:16 UK

Sport quotes of the week

By Chris Charles

Sir Alex Ferguson with his players
I love you all!

"The horrible part of football is you fall in love with your players."
Sir Alex Ferguson on the pitfalls of being a boss.

"Arsenal's big advantage is that they can play Pat Rice at right-back and Arsene at centre-forward on Saturday."
Fergie predicts Arsenal's line-up against Portsmouth, three days before the Champions League semi-final second leg. Gunners fans might have wished the pair had played against Manchester United.

"If I had said in November that we will be in the semi-finals of the Champions League and FA Cup and go 21 games unbeaten, you'd have called an ambulance!"
Arsene Wenger before the second leg.

"Striker, goalkeeper, left-winger, I just want to play."
Cristiano Ronaldo - the ultimate utility man.

"Karren (Brady) blew me a kiss so I think I am back in! Of course I blew one back!"
Birmingham manager Alex McLeish taking the kiss after clinching promotion.

"When Sir Jack Hayward sold this club to me, it was a proud day. Twenty months later, he's offered to buy it back for £20! But £20bn wouldn't buy it now."
Wolves owner Steve Morgan on life at the world's most expensive club.

"It was a respectable performance."
Chelsea boss Guus Hiddink on Barcelona's run-of-the-mill 6-2 thrashing of Real Madrid.

"I want to be in the Guinness Book of Records, yee-ha!"
Michaela Tabb on becoming the first woman to referee snooker's World Championship final.

"We all know who the real number one is. Quite frankly, I'm the best in the world."
Serena Williams pays her own special tribute to new world number one Dinara Safina - before crashing to a shock defeat to Patty Schnyder at the Italian Open.

Unlucky Alf from the Fast Show
Adkins was happy with the result

"I feel like I've aged 150 years!"
Scunthorpe manager Nigel Adkins after seeing his side sneak into the play-offs with a late goal against Tranmere.

"The referee had a quiet word with me and said, 'Don't wind them up'. But if they can give they can take it, and if I can take it I can give it. That's the way it's got to be."
Chelsea captain John Terry goes to war with West Ham fans.

"That would alleviate the black into both corner pockets."
Ken Doherty picks the wrong word during the Neil Robertson-Shaun Murphy world snooker semi-final.

AND SOME FROM YOU

"There's no better feeling than getting a century break... and getting one at the Crucible is even better."
Willie Thorne at the World Snooker Championships. (Derek Grange, England).

"90 runs off 60 balls, that's nearly nine an over."
Ronnie Irani talking about the Kolkata Knight Riders' run-chase against Mumbai Indians. (Tom Calder, UK).

"Fulham is one of my favourite grounds, but when you have 18 players stripping down, plus coaches, physios and kit men, it is ridiculous really."
Sir Alex gives an interesting insight into Manchester United's big naked backroom staff! (David Mason, UK).

"Silvestre has a groin as well."
Arsene Wenger on Mikael Silvestre's injury. (Alex, England).

"So, can you and the fans really be the 11th man at the Emirates, Tom?"
Richard Bacon on BBC Radio 5 Live. (Oscar, England).

"The humidity is now higher, it's gone from one number... to a higher number."
Steve Davis on BBC Snooker talking about the reason why there were lots of kicks at The Crucible. (Ceri, Wales).

John Higgins and Crucible audience
An audience with John Higgins

"You can hear a pin drop here at The Crucible - the atmosphere tonight has been absolutely electric."
John Virgo describing just how raucous the fans were during the semi-final between Murphy and Robertson at the Snooker World Championship. (Andreas Liassides, Whestsone).

"Stephen threw everything at me in the first session, including the kitchen sink. The problem for Stephen was I picked it up and threw it back."
Shaun Murphy after beating Stephen Hendry in the quarter-final in Sheffield. (Sean Mee, England).

"This game is all about fractions, he was a few inches out."
John Virgo during John Higgins v Mark Allen. (Ronan Nelis, Ireland).

"John Higgins was out of his seat like a greyhound out of the box there."
Willie Thorne getting his metaphors confused during the Mark Selby-John Higgins quarter-final. (Stonewash O'Rourke, UK).

"Preston have got big Neil Mellor and even bigger Jon Parkin up front!"
BBC Radio WM Sport during the Birmingham-Preston North End match. (Jamie Heaton, England).

"He's got to put his foot down with an iron fist."
Paul Masefield on ESPN's Football Focus (Shown in Asia) talking about Rafa Benitez's style of managing. (Lee Byron, Thailand).

"He's quick, not slow - Motion."
Jeff Stelling on Soccer Saturday after Kevin Motion scored for Stenhousemuir. (Andrew, Northants).

"Lucas is all over the place... in a good way."
5 Live commentary during the Liverpool-Hull game. (Andrew, Northants).

Reporter: "What do you think of the team's chemistry?"
Jason Kidd (basketball player): "Chemistry is a subject you learn in school."
Basketball banter. (Zack, USA).

ChristoperLee as Dracula
Fangs for the memories, Casper

"Casper Ankegren's a bit of a Dracula-type keeper... doesn't like crosses."
From Leeds v Hartlepool commentary on Radio Leeds by Andy Ritchie. (Marc Wilkinson, England).

"Bendtner proves how useless he is by collecting a Fabregas ball on the edge of the box before turning and passing to Rooney."
ESPN.com Gamecast, Man UTF v Arsenal Champions League semi. (Matt, USA).

"As you know, Graham, I'm not a stats man. But the stats say it all here."
5 Live commentator during Man U v Arsenal. (Piet, Bromsgrove).

"Chelsea is happy to take one point from Barcelona."
Argentine commentator Ricardo Bizcayzacu on the Barcelona-Chelsea Champions League game. (Ignacio, Mexico).

"I am a black player, playing for a team in the south of India, getting paid in US dollars for playing in the Indian Premier League in South Africa."
Makhaya Ntini speaking after an IPL game.(Hrishikesh Bamane, India).

"Rafa played that point like he was drunk."
Leif Shiras commentating on Sky Sports during the Nadal-Gonzales semi final after the Spaniard stumbled before missing a volley.(Oli, England).

"Shaun Murphy is one of the best nudgers in the business."
Dennis Taylor at the Crucible as Shaun Murphy was about to try TO nudge a red away whilst potting the black. (John Corboy, UK).

"Eleventh place isn't that much worse than ninth or 10th."
Kimi Raikonnen after Bahrain GP qualifying. (Rosy).

"You would put your house on Eto'o when he has beaten the last central defender."
ITV commentator during the coverage of Barca-Chelsea. Surely that would slow him down! (Graham McKeown, Scotland).

"If Wenger is still here in 10 years and Arsenal haven't won any trophies, will he still be here?"
Steve Claridge on 5 Live.
(Michael Sparkes, UK).

"Cristiano Ronaldo, no doubt a fantastic player, but look at him sitting down in the box, looking like he's going to cry... like a little girl. No doubting his talent, but he is a squinny. An absolute squinny."
Chris Wise on Pompey's 107.4 The Quay radio during the United v Pompey match. (Daniel, Ireland). 'Squinny' is Portsmouth slang for whinger in case you were wondering - Ed.

CHANTS OF THE WEEK

Mark Lawrenson, Gary Lineker, Alan Shearer and Alan Hansen
The problems are mountain up for Shearer

"You should have stayed on the telly!"
The Kop to Alan Shearer on Sunday. Followed closely by the Match of the Day theme tune. (Anna B, UK).

"Don't you wish your midfield had Kompany?"
Man City fans to Vincent Kompany, to the tune of the Pussycat dolls' Don't Cha. (Richard, England).

"Don't you wish your striker was James Beattie?"
Heard at Stoke v Blackburn to the same tune. (Joel, Stoke).

"1-0 and we're going down."
Southampton fans partying at The City Ground.

"That's why we're going down!"
Southampton fans after relegated Saints let in three goals in the last 17 minutes to lose to Forest 3-1. (Samuel Dawkins, Southampton).

"Who needs Mourinho, we've got Roy Keanio!"
Heard at the Cardiff-Ipswich game. (Lesley Smith, UK).

"He's got bananas on his feet!"
Worthing FC fans to a Cray Wanderers player with yellow boots on. (Phil, UK).

"You should have been an X-Man!"
Chant directed to Peter Crouch at the Newcastle-Portsmouth match. (Darren Glaze, Belfast).

"We're Torquay 'til full-time, we're Torquay 'til full-time, we know we are, we're sure we are, we're Torquay 'til full-time!"
Cambridge fans prior to their vital game with Altrincham. We needed Torquay to beat Burton convincingly in the last game of the Blue Square Premier season, but failed to win ourselves! (Jamie Isaacson, Bradford).

"They're by far the biggest shorts, the world has ever seen!"
Sung by Spurs to a Mark Viduka looking more like Aladdin. (Max, Tottenham).

"We've won it before, we've won it before... in 2004, we won it before. We'll win it again, we'll win it again... in 2010, we'll win it again!"
Chester fans as they were getting relegated to the Blue Square Premier.(Andy, England).

"Oh when the Saints go Johnston Paints, Oh when the Saints go Johnston Paints."
Bournemouth fans. (Nick, Poole).

"There's only one team in Fulham!"
Fulham fans to Chelsea during the west London derby. (Jack, London).

STADIUM ANNOUNCEMENTS OF THE WEEK

"A round of applause to Everton for being the only team from Liverpool to reach a cup final this year."
Chelsea stadium announcer at Chelsea-Everton. (Tom E, England).

"This is a message for the Cardiff City fans; please can you leave your seats where they are, we may need them for the play-offs!"
At Cardiff after our final league home game at Ninian Park, to stop fans taking souvenirs. (Clare H, Cardiff).

"If anyone has found a grey Nokia mobile, please could they bring it to the club house, because I've lost it!"
Stadium announcer at Pontyclun Under 12/14 kids' rugby tournament.(Gwilym Roberts, UK).

BANNERS OF THE WEEK

"Hatton could stay up longer than the Albion!"
At Wolves v Doncaster. (Kayleigh, England).

"Shame Carlsberg don't do Boards of Directors."
At the Southampton v Burnley game at St Mary's. (Richard Openshaw, Scotland).



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