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Page last updated at 10:18 GMT, Friday, 19 December 2008

Sport quotes of the week

By Chris Charles

David Beckham
Will he reveal Victoria's secret?

"I must admit I have a dressing room curiosity over Beckham. I want to see if he is equipped as he is in the underwear adverts."
AC Milan striker Marco Borriello looks forward to the arrival of Goldenballs.

"We went to Holland a couple of weeks ago and I met the goalkeeping coach at PSV. He said 'Don't worry about the goalkeeper, he is world class'. I've got to be honest, I wasn't sure if he had been drinking. I just smiled politely and said 'I'm sure he is'."
Two weeks is a long time in football as far as Heurelho Gomes is concerned - just ask Harry Redknapp, following his keeper's fine display against Man Utd.

"The reception I got at Upton Park wasn't too bad considering I now manage one of their biggest rivals. Mind you, it helped that I didnít get out of my seat for 90 minutes."
Redknapp receives a sitting ovation at West Ham.

"You talk about Ronaldo and Messi. Is Young in that company? Yes. I've just put him in it."
Aston Villa boss Martin O'Neill refuses to put any pressure on Ashley Young.

"I stepped into the technical area and was standing in water. I tried to keep my shoes dry but it didn't work and they look ruined."
Watford boss Brendan Rodgers gets well and truly leathered during the win over Coventry.

"I pay attention to hydrating my skin properly...mangoes are a fruit that I'm crazy about, so I love the sweet and fruity fragrance of mango body butter."
Arsenal's Johan Djourou is a peach of a player.

"In this virtual world I can put myself in the shoes of my managers. But I don't always pick myself to start every game. I have to rotate my squad!"
Djourou on the ultimate selection headache when playing football games on the computer.

Nathan Cleverly
Nathan's boxing clever

"Sometimes I go to bed dreaming about my next fight and wake up thinking about my next equation."
The aptly-named Commonwelth light-heavyweight champion Nathan Cleverly on juggling his boxing career with a maths degree.

"The camera was six inches from my face. My eyes are still burning from the camera flash."
John Daly attempts to justify smashing a spectator's camera into a tree at the Australian Open.

"I was bold but I wasn't unreasonable. I don't think I'll be chasing him for the money. He's a big bloke!"
Camera owner Brad Clegg is clearly a mild thing.

"You could never tell what these people are doing. Even if I was sitting having breakfast with them I would not know what they were thinking."
Sir Alex Ferguson on the FA's decision to ban Patrice Evra for four matches over last season's post-match fracas at Stamford Bridge.

"Apart from Freddie Flintoff, I donít think they have any bowler who can get people out."
Harbhajan Singh before seeing India skittled out for 241 by England in their first innings, with five different bowlers in the wickets. The Turbanator was to have the last laugh, though.

"It leaves a nasty taste in my nostrils."
Jim Magilton has senses working overtime after Ipswich lose to Norwich in the 'Old Farm' derby.

AND SOME FROM YOU

"Backsides and opinions, we've all got them but its not always a good idea to air them in public."
Mick McCarthy when asked what he thought of Roy Keane's decision to leave Sunderland. (Paul, Wolverhampton).

"Chelsea have no width, and they are not playing in what I like to call the corners of the pitch".
Graham Taylor on 5 Live during Chelsea-West Ham. It left me wondering what everyone else would call the corners of the pitch?! (Tony Peckham, UK).

"The team just needs to stop making individual mistakes."
BBC Radio York commentator on the Histon-York City game. (Ryan, England).

"The fans expect at least three points at Celtic Park."
Shaun Maloney after Celtic's 2-0 win over Villarreal. (Martin, UK).

"That's a free-kick to Man City, and the Fulham fans are revolting."
BBC 5 Live commentator on the Fulham game last weekend. Charming! (Matt Turnbull, Ireland).

Turkey
Ner-ner-ner-ner-ner!

"Who has more chance of surviving Christmas, a turkey or Paul Ince?"
Adam Boulton (Sky News) to Andy Gray. Gray predicted Ince! (Ivan Mark Radhakrishnan, Malawi). He was wrong - Ed.

David Pleat: "Here comes the surging Brazilian right-back... he's Argentinian actually."
Clive Tyldsley: 'He's Uruguayan."
ITV commentary team. (Steve, UK).

"I'm going to get the wife to buy the club so I'll still be in a job."
Tony Adams on Portsmouth's possible sale. (Ibrar, Swansea).

"And why do you think it is that he doesn't perform as well with the lights, the cameras and the pressure?"
Hazel Irvine answers her own question about why Rory McLeod struggles for form when his snooker matches are televised. (C Stephenson, England).

"If Manchester City start spending £4000-£5000 a day on wages, then things are gonna get out of hand."
Lee Dixon on Match of The Day. This equates to £28,000-£35,000 a week - far less than the top players! (Hamid Rizvi, England).

"He's certainly had a rub of the balls this evening, but the way he's been going, who can begrudge him that?"
Terry Griffiths on McLeod's great comeback against Ronnie O'Sullivan. (Daniel Marshall, England).

"Whilst we are all looking forward to it, the game hasn't been spoken about. We're more worried about what to get each other in our Secret Santa at the moment."
Macclesfield Town's Nat Brown has more important things on his mind than a home tie with Everton in the FA Cup. (Ian S, UK).

"Chelsea keep battling on. I still believe they haven't got a Plan B, although the Plan B could involve Didier Drogba now he's returned from injury."
Make up your mind up, Lawro - have they got a plan B or not? (Guy Head, England).

"If Adelaide lose this match, I would make them paddle back to Australia."
Former Australian international Ned Zelic on Waitakere United v Adelaide United in Japan. (Jonathan, Australia). Ah, Ned Zelic - QPR legend. Ahem. Ed.

"Geovanni may have a sweet right foot but he has a head like a Toblerone."
5 Live commentator after Geovanni sends a header closer to the corner flag than the goal during the Hull-Middlesbrough game. (Ben Hatt, Cardiff).

"I think Porto will be playing 4-4-3 tonight."
TalkSport commentator obviously thinks Portuguese clubs don't use a goalkeeper! (Paul, Scotland).

CHANTS OF THE WEEK

Paul Ince
Right chant, wrong day

"You're getting sacked in the morning!"
Wigan fans to Paul Ince after Blackburn's hammering at the JJB. Rovers fans then joined in! (David King, UK). Right chant -wrong day. Ed

"You're going down with the Woolworths!"
from Ebbsfleet fans to Weymouth during their 1-0 win. (Kevin, UK).

"You're not scary anymore."
Bristol Rovers fans singing away at a rather timid Milwall. (Phil, England).

"Dimitar Berbatov, took one look at City and he said **** ***!"
Sung by Man Utd fans at White Hart Lane to the tune of Jesus Christ Superstar. (Obi, UK).

"There's only two of us singing!"
Two Torquay fans at the Setanta Shield game away at Forest Green. Glad someone found some humour in the freezing cold. (Mike, England).

"He's Agent Zola, He's taking West Ham down."
Chelsea fans v Cluj, in preparation for the West Ham match, to the tune of I Love You Baby. (Craig Wilmann, UK).

"We're all going on a European Tour" and "You're all going on a Canvey Island tour!"
Spurs fans at West Ham. (Justin, England).

"How much was your taxi fare?"
Notts county fans to Morecambe's very tiny away support. (Gareth Jones, England).

STADIUM ANNOUNCEMENT OF THE WEEK

"If you appear mashed, smashed or totally plastered you will not be allowed into tonight's game."
Heard on the tannoy outside the Wellington Phoenix versus Perth Glory A league match. (Charlie Lambert, New Zealand).

"To the linesman in front of the stand, your car has been stolen. Does anyone know the number for a cab firm?"
Announcement heard at Ilford FC. (Jack, England).

"Here are the latest scores in League One - not that they matter because we are top of the league!"
At Leicester v Southend. (Alison, UK).



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see also
Review of the week
17 Dec 08 |  Football
Robbo Robson's blog
18 Dec 08 |  Football


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