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Page last updated at 09:04 GMT, Wednesday, 31 December 2008

Quotes of the Year Part II

Rio Ferdinand
D'oh!

"Gary Neville is the club captain but has been injured for the best part of a year now - and Giggsy's taken on the mantlepiece."
Rio Ferdinand was clearly having a hearth while describing the Man Utd captaincy.

"Aston Villa! What suburb of Rome is Aston Villa from?!"
Actor Tom Hanks revealed he was a Villan at heart.

"The first time I ever met him, he was the same little obnoxious weed that he is now."
Matthew Hayden - not Harbhajan Singh's number one fan.

"I've been laughing - I said 'Dad, how do you crash a car at 30mph?'"
Lewis Hamilton after Dad Anthony stuck a borrowed Porsche in a hedge.

"It was unfortunate."
Hamilton not laughing four days later at the Canadian Grand Prix after crashing his car at about 30mph into the back of Kimi Raikkonen.

"I'm going to come down to breakfast in a cotton wool suit that morning!"
Kevin Pietersen was taking no chances ahead of England's $20m Twenty20 clash with a West Indies all-star XI. He needn't have bothered.

"It's very pleasant to beat Maria...Why? Well, I don't like her outfit."
Alla Kudryavtseva on what spurred her to a shock victory over Sharapova at Wimbledon.

"I must thank God for this success. Credit also goes to Steve Bruce."
Wigan striker Zaki paid homage to the big man, plus the good Lord.

"We scored three today and 99 times out of 10 that means a win."
Brighton assistant manager Dean White after the 3-3 draw with Cheltenham.

"I don't know what state of mind his body's in."
Jamie Redknapp's verdict on Stoke's Ricardo Fuller.

"Brock's a big bloke, isn't he? If you found him in bed with your girlfriend, you'd tuck him in!"
Ricky Hatton during the Brock Lesnar-Randy Couture Mixed Martial Arts fight.

"He wanted the prom queen but he had to get past all the ugly girls first. He's finally got the prom queen. Now he has to take her home and take care of business."
Paulie Malignaggi's trainer Buddy McGirt ahead of the Ricky Hatton fight.

Elle Macpherson
But does 'The Body' dream of Hull?

"Our season is not beyond my wildest dreams - because they usually involve Elle Macpherson."
Hull chairman Paul Duffen after going joint top of the Premier League.

"Diving stop there from Yuvraj, who can do no wrong at the moment. He could drop his trousers and still get a standing ovation."
Jonathan Agnew during the second ODI against India.

"If I don't win again, she'll be saying, 'Time to get you back in the bedroom!'"
Grand Prix champion and father-of-three John Higgins revealed he always seemed to win snooker tournaments shortly after his wife gave birth.

"The Champions League? I won it with Liverpool and now I want to win it with Juventus."
Momo Sissoko experienced a memory lapse, having joined Liverpool two months after their 2005 triumph.

"I've never been one for stats and milestones, I just try to do the best for my team. I'm the third fastest person in the history of the game to get 10,000."
Ricky Ponting showed remarkable knowledge for someone who was not one for stats and milestones.

"My reputation will always precede me to the day I die. For some people, that probably can't be quickly enough."
Controversial Newcastle midfielder Joey Barton gave an honest assessment of himself.

"Where's Timo? I want to give him a kiss."
Anthony Hamilton makes a beeline for Timo Glock, after his boy Lewis passed him on the final lap in Brazil to claim the F1 title.

"I should have punched him harder."
Eric Cantona revealed the main regret about the infamous kung-fu incident at Crystal Palace.

"He sat downstairs as if it was the most normal thing for a multi-millionaire footballer to do."
A passenger who spotted Man City striker Robinho and his girlfriend on a bus to the shopping centre.

"Before (this innings) there was a lot of speculation about me being originally from South Africa."
KP insisted it was 'speculation' that he was from South Africa, following a ton against the country of his birth.

"I wasn't sure if she had got it until that moment and then I came from behind my cushion and hit the roof."
Rebecca Adlington's mum emerged from behind a cushion to find out her daughter was a gold medallist.

Matt Lucas as Daffyd in Little Britain
Is he Kenny in disguise?

"You probably think I'm Kenny Sansom!"
Little Britain's Matt Lucas on meeting Arsene Wenger, after the Frenchman admitted he had never seen the show.

"Great Britain have won 40% of their medals in cycling. If only there was snooker, darts and a dog show."
NBC Daytime host Jim Lampley.

"He rang me before he got on the plane to tell me he didn't have a key, so I waited up for him."
Theo Walcott's mum, Lynn, burned the midnight oil waiting for the hat-trick hero to return from Croatia. Bless.

"I feel like a mosquito in a nudist colony, I just don't know where to start."
Miami Heat coach Pat Riley after his team ended a 13-game losing streak against the Sacramento Kings.

"I think it's fair to say we're an improving team and a team that's getting better."
Everton skipper Phil Neville.

KNOW WHAT I MEAN 'ARRY?

"We've got sports scientists who insist it's important for the lads to eat after games to refuel, even if it's 2am. I used to refuel after games at West Ham until half past three in the morning in a different way - but then I'm old school."
Redknapp remembered the days when carbohyrates came in pint glasses.

"Kanu? He's about 47."
When asked the age of FA Cup final winner Kanu, who claims to be 31.

Harry Redknapp
Redknapp had a right old giraffe in 2008

"When I heard the draw I was out on the golf course. I had an eight-iron in one hand and my mobile in the other. When we came out with United, my club went further than the ball."
After he heard the FA Cup quarter-final draw. Little did he know...

"If you can't pass the ball properly, a bowl of pasta's not going to make that much difference!"
When asked if a change of diet had contributed to Tottenham's 4-4 draw at Arsenal.

"I know the odd indulgence doesn't hurt players from time to time...besides, what can you do? Can you follow a player home to check if his missus is giving him steak and kidney pie for tea instead of pasta?"
Redknapp - old school and proud of it.

COMMENTATORS' CORNER

"If you keep walking past the barbers, eventually you'll get a haircut."
Paul Merson on Soccer Saturday about Middlesbrough flirting with relegation each season.

"That free-kick was so wide it nearly hit my car."
More Merson magic.

"Over the years whilst fielding at first slip, Dravid almost seems to have developed an ability to stick Kumble's balls to his hands."
ABC cricket commentator during Australia-India series.

"Ashley Cole is getting a good deal of stick, but you would expect that when you're playing away from home."
Match of the Day commentator Steve Wilson during the Pompey-Chelsea game.

"He's been picked for one reason, familiarity and stability."
Brian Moore on the one reason James Hook was picked for Wales against England in the Six Nations.

The Fast Show's Swiss Toni
Swiss Toni - a lorra Lawro laughs

"He's like 6ft 4in of blancmange...more Swiss Toni than Luca Toni."
Lawro on the Italian striker and his misses.

"The one thing Cristiano Ronaldo has is pace, quick feet and a great eye for goal."
Chris Waddle on Irish radio station Newstalk.

"As I sit here with a couple of world class hookers..."
Gaby Logan after the France-Ireland rugby match. (She was referring to co-commentators Wood and Ibanez.)

"Ghana are finding it difficult to impregnate the Cameroon defence."
Eurosport commentator during the Ghana-Cameroon Africa Cup of Nations semi-final. Think he meant penetrate.

"Matt Taylor is off - and what a chance he had. Two chances - three in fact, actually, if you count the third."
Gary Weaver commentating on the Bolton-Portsmouth game.

"Gareth Jellyman of Mansfield Town has been sent off, hope he doesn't throw a wobbly!"
Jeff Stelling on Soccer Saturday.

"Well that's not attractive to watch...which leads us rather aptly to Phil Thompson."
Another classic from Stelling.

John Motson: "Bramall Lane is a fantastic place, and I believe one of the only grounds to host an FA Cup final and Test Match cricket." Mark Lawrenson: "Stay in last night did you, John?"
During Sheffield United v Middlesbrough.

"Last year's race was a bit of a damp squid."
Mark Hateley on 5 Live about the Scottish title race.

"United are looking to make the Glazers double Glazers."
Clive Tyldesley during the Champions League final, with United looking to win the double.

"Well that was much Adu about nothing, really!"
Mark Lawrenson during England-USA after Freddie Adu messed up a free-kick.

"Richard Hills rides Tajaweed in the Derby and rides Tajweed in the 1:50 so be careful with your Tajers."
The BBC's Jim McGrath during the Derby coverage.

"You might say that Frings can only get better..."
Andy Gray on ESPN commenting on Torsten Frings having a broken rib at Euro 2008.

"Paul Harris is a buffet bowler - you just help yourself."
Geoff Boycott on South Africa's left-arm spinner.

"Scholes is now on his feet in front of us, but very gingerly."
ITV commentator Clive Tyldesley during Aalborg v Man Utd.

Junior Agogo
You think he's big...

"He's a big unit - and if he's Junior Agogo, I certainly wouldn't like to meet Senior Agogo."
Fox Sports commentator Simon Hill during the Australia v Ghana match.

"Obviously Sky gets its money from prescription payers."
Martin Keown on Football Focus.

"Man City have scored in all of their home wins this year."
Sky's Rob Hawthorne commentating on the Manchester derby.

"I'm dead sure the guys with stomach upsets would go out and play with nappies on if they have to."
David Lloyd in the build-up to the Stanford Super Series final.

"Sloppy, that's the only word to describe that pass...casual."
Andy Gray during the Arsenal-Tottenham match.

Journalist: "You lost to Tsonga three times. Why?"
Novak Djokovic: "Because he was playing better."

"It's never over until it's over, but this is over."
Chris Kamara on Soccer Saturday updating viewers on Sunderland v Bolton.

"I wouldn't trust some of these people to walk my dog."
Roy Keane has the final word on TV pundits.



see also
Quotes of the Year Part One
26 Dec 08 |  Fun and Games
Festive 40 quiz
28 Dec 08 |  Fun and Games