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Page last updated at 13:58 GMT, Wednesday, 26 November 2008

Sport quotes of the week

By Chris Charles

Frank Sinatra
Whaddaya mean, no?

"You can't beat Sinatra. I was actually supposed to have dinner with him one night, but we lost to Charlton so I cancelled it and went home!"
Sir Alex Ferguson recalls the day he stood up Ol' Blue Eyes.

"I think he's been watching Robert Pires too much!"
Fergie after Wayne Rooney apologised for taking a dive against Villareal.

"He sat downstairs as if it was the most normal thing for a multi-millionaire footballer to do. Word quickly went round about who he was. Nobody quite believed it and some just stared open-mouthed. At the very least you'd expect him to be driven by a chauffeur or maybe, at a push, pay for a taxi. But a bus? Amazing!"
Passenger who spotted Man City striker Robinho and his girlfriend on a bus to the shopping centre.

"I think I'm 4-1 to get a red card in the tunnel - it would be the fist of Terry Butcher rather than the hand. While we will never forget, it's not about that game. I haven't got a Maradona doll that I stick pins in every day, I don't need psychiatric help."
Scotland assistant Terry Butcher is so not bothered about Maradona's 'Hand of God' he only mentions it 14 times a day before the Argentina game.

"Who is Terry Butcher?"
Maradona gives the perfect riposte when asked about the 'feud'.

"He is a big boy now and he has to grow up and move on!"
Scotland boss George Burley believes it's probably time for Butcher to forgive and forget 22 years later.

"I've watched it again but my missus made me delete it after about five days."
Scotland striker Chris Iwelumo finally erases the video nasty of his miss against Norway.

"I'd have probably been fined my whole match fee if my dad had been the ref!"
Stuart Broad is relieved match referee father Chris was not in the chair after being summoned to explain his questioning of a decision in England's second ODI against India.

Germany-England scoreboard
Oh go on then, for old times' sake

"Is that the only video they have? We have a lot of other matches to remember - especially ones that ended in penalty kicks."
Germany manager Oliver Bierhoff is fed up of talking about England's 5-1 win in Munich ahead of their friendly. He can now chat about the 2-1 reverse in Berlin instead.

"I am the first, second and third best player in the world."
Cristiano Ronaldo 'jokes' in an interview with Brazilian daily O Estado de Sao Paulo.

"He wanted the prom queen but he had to get past all the ugly girls first. He's finally got the prom queen. Now he has to take her home and take care of business."
Paulie Malignaggi's trainer Buddy McGirt looks forward to his date with Ricky Hatton.

"Your mum says, 'Your granny phoned me - you played so well'. And you're like, 'Yeah, but we still lost'."
Scotland flanker John Barclay wants to shake off his side's 'plucky loser' tag.

"I used to cramp up a lot as a player but that was mostly after I'd poured 15 pints of lager down my neck and I don't think Jermain is doing that."
Tony Adams tries to fathom why Jermain Defoe is suffering from cramp.

"I'm going to take Yuvraj out in the hotel tonight and make sure he doesn’t come to Kanpur for the next game!"
Kevin Pietersen has a cunning plan to stop Yuvraj Singh's domination in the one-dayers.


"You know me - I always listen to referees."
The angel that is Roy Keane upon receiving an FA improper conduct charge from the Chelsea match. (Tommy, Namibia).

"He's made Darren Bent a better player, and that's down to one word - man management."
Jason Cundy on Harry Redknapp. (Kieren, Cornwall).

"I thought we were the better team apart from a 15-minute spell at half-time when Villa got the ball into our box from free-kicks and corners and caused a lot of problems."
Man Utd boss Sir Alex Ferguson - maybe that was because all the United players were in the dressing room. (Jack Stevens, UK).

"Michael Carrick starts his run to South Africa tonight."
Commentator during Germany-England - I hope Fergie knows about this! (Bob Smith, England).

Brock Lesnar and Randy Couture
You can call me Sir

"Brock's a big bloke, isn't he? If you found him in bed with your girlfriend, you'd tuck him in!"
Ricky Hatton during the Brock Lesnar-Randy Couture Mixed Martial Arts fight. (Frank Carey, Canada).

Chris Evans: "So do you know any famous Joneses?"
Johnny Saunders "Well there's the Welsh rugby players, you know - Ryan Jones, Gethin Jenkins..."
During Chris Evans' Radio 2 show. (Al, Swansea).

"Where else but in Scotland would you find a shrine to Diego Maradona?"
Ian Payne on Sky Sports News. (James, Wales).

"(We) certainly haven't seen him in the areas he likes to do his business."
Robbie Earle thinks Shaun Wright-Phillips might be a dog. (Mathew Vaughan, Darlington).

"I wouldn't be suprised if he walked in one morning and said 'Actually I'm walking out'."
Mark Lawrenson doesn't know whether Roy Keane is coming or going. (Phil McNaboe, UK).

"And the final score from the Emirates is Arsenal 0-2 Villa. Liverpool are delighted, Chelsea are delighted, Arsenal are delighted."
Talksport commentator on Arsenal's apparent joy at losing! (Dave Wilding, England).

"He's got two feet."
David Healy on Northern Ireland team mate Jonny Evans. (Marcus Jackson, UK).

"Madonna's a Legend!"
Celtic schoolboy footballer Adam Brown at Scotland-Argentina. He meant Maradona! (Gareth Byrne, UK).

"We need the bowlers to take wickets and the batsmen to score runs."
Kevin Pietersen adopts a revolutionary approach to cricket. (Nick, Switzerland).

"Ask anyone who knows me and they'll tell you about my shocking sense of direction. I remember back in my Leicester days, me and Ade Akinbiyi were three hours late for training because we forgot how to get to the training ground!"
Trevor Benjamin on his recent signing for Hednesford Town - when he got stuck on the M6 toll road and missed two meeting points with club representatives! (Leroy Jenkins, Cannock).

"They are a good team on paper, but the game's never been played on a piece of paper."
Leyton Orient's Martin Ling proves his managerial credentials and knowledge of the game. (Darren Stewart, England).

Pink Panther
Coming on for Arsenal...

"How has the Pink Panther been doing up front for Arsenal?"
Jeff Stelling during Soccer Saturday on Nicklas Bendtner's choice of pink boots in the Man City-Arsenal game. (Dave Philpot, UK).

"Liverpool enjoyed a frustrating afternoon as they were held to a goalless draw by Fulham at Anfield."
BBC match report - not sure they enjoyed it all that much? (Steve Wiggins, England).

"Bad Kompany."
Alan Hansen's anaylsis of Vincent Kompany's performance against Arsenal on MOTD. He Can't Get Enough, really. (Chris Humphris, London).


"Robinho on the bus goes round and round."
Heard at Man City v Arsenal, following Robinho's shopping trip to the Trafford Centre on the bus! (MCFC Mark, England).

"Are you Tottenham in disguise?"
England fans to Germany during the friendly. (Mark Gracey, Gillingham).

"Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob Bob Malcom. Bob Malcolm reach for the sky, no free-kick too far, no header too high!"
Motherwell fans to utility player Bob Malcom - to the tune of 'There's No Limit'. (Euan Campbell, Scotland).

"It's gonna rain in a minute!"
Leicester fans chanting at other Leicester fans who were seated in a rather more exposed area of Swindon's County Ground. (Ryan, Swindon).

"Stand up if you beat Arsenal!"
Stoke fans at Old Trafford. (Steve Buss, UK).

"We are the Hillmen, you are the 10 men, you are a walrus, goo goo gachoo!"
Glossop North End fans to the 10 men of Biddulph and their rather portly keeper, when the two sides met in the FA Vase. Glossop won 4-0. (Daniel, England).

Barry Fry
And today's special...

"You ate Barry Fry!"
Cambridge fans react to a York supporter who decided to show us his belly. (Laurence Shaw, Cambridge).

"Shall we pay the bill for you?"
Carlisle fans at Grays following a floodlight failure. (Jim, England).

"You should have watched on Setanta!"
Leeds fans shouting to their Northampton counterparts who were being thrashed in the FA Cup replay. (Darren, Wales).

"We Are Jimvinceable!"
FC Halifax Town fans as manager Jim Vince makes it eight wins out of eight for the newly-reformed and top of the Unibond North Shaymen! (Luke Ramsden, UK).

"Oh Guillem Bauza, you are the love of my life, Oh Guillem Bauza I'd let you kiss me wife, Oh Guillem Bauza I want curly hair too."
Sung to Swansea striker Guillem Bauza. (Rhys Davies, Wales).

"If Ricketts played for England, so could I."
MK Dons fans to Walsall striker Michael Ricketts. (Chris, UK).

"Where were you in Germany?"
Villa fans to Rooney and Ferdinand, who played for Man Utd after missing England's friendly. (Kate, UK).

"England's number one!"
Spurs fans to their old keeper Paul Robinson during the Blackburn game. Poor old Heurelho Gomes! (Jack, London).

"Batman, Batman give us a wave!"
QPR fans to man dressed as Batman walking on the roof during the Charlton game. (Paul, London).

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see also
Review of the week
25 Nov 08 |  Fun and Games
Robbo Robson blog
24 Nov 08 |  Football
Ten to tackle
21 Nov 08 |  Fun and Games

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