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Page last updated at 13:16 GMT, Wednesday, 19 November 2008

Sport quotes of the week

By Chris Charles

Diego Maradona and Rio Ferdinand
The long and short of it is they're mates

"We were like schoolkids around a star coming to school. To be able to shake his hand, get a cuddle off him and a picture, it made my birthday."
Rio Ferdinand gets all gooey-eyed as Diego Maradona presents him with a signed shirt on his 30th birthday.

"This is rugby league, if you turn over cheap possession you get your pants pulled down."
Scotland skipper Ben Fisher after his side got their hides tanned by Tonga.

"I have impressed upon them the advantages of a Mediterranean diet over ketchup and chips."
The chips are down for England as Fabio Capello lays down the law.

"When I was a player, I'd have a pre-match meal of the biggest lump of fillet steak you could find, followed by rice pudding. Other times I'd have a steak and kidney pie. I'd finish the meal at 12.30 and be playing two-and-a-half hours later."
Capello won't be going round to Harry Redknapp's for tea anytime soon.

"How do you tackle that bloke? He's 4ft 2 or something."
New Zealand captain Benji Marshall on England's Rob Burrow ahead of the Rugby League World Cup semi-final. He's actually a respectable 5ft 5in.

"The last time I was charged by the FA they had a murder lawyer in against me, so it's going to be a hard case to win."
Sunderland boss Roy Keane considers the case for the defence as he decides whether to contest his FA misconduct charge.

"This is about business. They've got me in a crummy hotel, they had me fly here business class, not first, and I'm a heavyweight but they give me 30 a day to eat. It costs me 22 for dinner. And I'm in a 14 by 14 room."
Monte Barrett is not impressed by the pre-fight build up for his heavyweight clash with David Haye. Five knockdowns later and he probably didn't care where he was.

Rory Delap
Would you trust this man with a javelin?

"They must be pretty desperate if they are scraping the barrel for me. I represented the county so I was decent at it, but I don't know if I am Olympic standard."
Stoke's long-throw specialist Rory Delap on reports he may represent Ireland in the javelin.

"I should get out now - I've taken them as far as I can!"
Redknapp after leading Spurs to victory against Liverpool, making it five wins out of six since he took charge.

"Don't even go there with the name. Jamie's got the hump with me. He's called him Beau. I was born in Bow. I know Beckham called his baby after where he was conceived!"
'Arry is not over-keen on the name of his new grandson.

"I'm not sure I'm better than Steven - but I'm definitely thinner than Frank."
Jimmy Bullard reacts to the Fulham faithful's song about him. (Jimmy Bullard, Bullard, he's better than Steve Gerrard, he's thinner than Frank Lampard, Jim Bullard, Bullard).

"I thought Roy was going to play kids, so when I saw his side, it scared the life out of me. Keaney slipped me a googly."
Paul Ince on seeing Sunderland's team-sheet for their League Cup tie. Not that it mattered as Rovers sailed through.

AND SOME FROM YOU

"He'll hold his hands up."
Harry Redknapp on Match of the Day, talking about goalkeeper Heurelho Gomes' dodgy display against Fulham. Perhaps Harry should tell him to catch it as well! (MrBlueBurns, England).

"He'll be OK - I think he's going for a Chinese this evening!"
Redknapp on Gomes' nasty-looking head injury against Liverpool. (Rich B, UK).

Yuvraj Singh
The man with the golden ton

"Diving stop there from Yuvraj, who can do no wrong at the moment. He could drop his trousers and still get a standing ovation."
Jonathan Agnew during the second ODI against India. (Rob, England).

"They've kicked our backsides, we've got to lick our wounds..."
Steve Bruce conjures up a pleasant image following Wigan's 3-0 defeat to Arsenal. (Paul, England).

"There's no argument, arguably he's in the form of his life."
Mark Lawrenson on Match of the Day describing Nicolas Anelka. (James Carey, Caerphilly).

"He's always alive."
Lee Dixon gives his opinions on Anelka. I'd be worried if he wasn't, Lee! (Sion Bithell, Wales).

"I think City will come out on top."
Lawro's prediction for Hull City v Man City. (Jon, Bath).

"He's a wonderful player. He's had a great end to the season. He's definitely the guy probably most in form."
Roger Federer is probably definite about Andy Murray. (Nigel Bayley, UK).

"The Arsenal youth team is full of young players."
Robbie Earle on ITV. (Jerry Gardner, Ireland).

"And a booking at Tannadice for a rather hairy tackle."
Jim Spence describing the Dundee United-Hibs game on Radio Scotland's Open All Mikes on Saturday. (Gordon Todd, Scotland).

"Playing a young or weakened team undermines the value of the competition. And we have not and will not do that. We want to win it, big time."
Chelsea assistant Ray Wilkins criticises Arsenal's policy of playing their youngsters in the Carling Cup. The Gunners went on to thrash Wigan, while Chelsea lost to Burnley. (Tony Pleasance, UK).

Frazier Campbell
Campbell is trying to keep both feet on the ground

"He has two great feet, left and right."
Mark Bright on Frazier Campbell during the Spurs-Liverpool game. (Martin Todd, Scotland).

"That's an unfortunate time for Degen to be coming off, just when he's starting to enjoy a bit of... joy."
Alan Smith confirms that joy is indeed enjoyable during Liverpool's 4-2 defeat against Spurs. (Peter Cooper, England).

"Gomes has gifted another goal - this time for Liverpool."
Paul Walsh on the Tottenham-Liverpool Carling cup game. Who did he gift the first goal to?! (Katie, England).

"The University of Ulster's new 20 world-class sports facilities were officially opened by London Olympics chief Lord Sebastian Coe on Tuesday."
From BBC Sport website. Is the credit crunch making world-class facilities cost nothing more than a few pints and a curry? (Paddy McLaughlin, Manchester). A few pints and a curry for 20? Lead the way, Paddy! Ed.

"I'm very happy for him - he's a young boy and he scored a fantastic goal - but not better than my goal... joke!"
Cristiano Ronaldo praises Danny Wellbeck's strike against Stoke. (Dal, UK).

Journalist: "You lost to Tsonga three times. Why?"
Novak Djokovic: "Because he was playing better." (Kim, England).

"Andy Murray has a great backhand slice for a player who has two hands."
Jeff Conig - Andy Murray v Gilles Simon. (Tom N, England).

"There are two sides to it."
Frank Lampard referring to team mate Didier Drogba's coin-throwing antics. (Anon).

"It is certainly not probable, but it is definitely ... probable."
Andy Harper gets confused as to whether Adelaide United can overturn a 3-0 deficit to Gamba Osaka in the Asian Champions League Final second leg. (Anthony Koch, Australia).

Phil Collins
It's another day in paradise for Phil

"It really is against all odds for Stoke to win at Old Trafford today."
Commentator for Man Utd-Stoke when Phil Collins was spotted in the crowd. (Tim, UK) He also mentioned there was No Jacket Required for the singer - Ed.

"Well, you just can't bet against Spurs at the minute. It's Liverpool to win for me."
John Salako on Sky previewing the League Cup clash - clearly you can bet against Spurs, then! (Lee Webster, Wales).

CHANTS OF THE WEEK

"Get your mascot off the pitch!"
AFC Hornchurch fans to Peterborough's pint-sized midfielder Dean Keates.

"Too fat and you can't get up!"
QPR fans to Burnley's heavyweight keeper Brian Jensen as he sat on the pitch getting treatment.

"Are you Chelsea in disguise?"
Burnley supporters at Loftus Road after completing a west London double.

"You're not naked anymore!"
Spurs fans to the Zagreb supporters who had all taken their tops off at 3-0 but were quickly re-clothed at 4-0 down! (Mark, UK).

Mick McCarthy
And for my next trick...

"You've only got one leg!"
Wolves fans to manager Mick McCarthy, on crutches following an ankle operation. (Richard Cooper, England).

"Can we play you every week?"
Spurs to Liverpool fans, after beating them twice inside seven days. (John Molby, UK).

"You don't know what you're doing!"
Leeds fans at Derby to guy who proposed to his girlfriend on the pitch. (Luke Royle-Evatt, England).

"England's no. 7."
Arsenal fans to Wigan keeper Chris Kirkland.
"England's no. 6."
After Kirkland makes a series of incredible saves. (Matt, UK).

"Are you watching, Robbie Keane?"
At the Spurs-Liverpool demolition. (Omeed, UK).

"You're only here to see a throw-in."
Man United fans to Stoke City counterparts regarding Mr Delap's infamous throw. (Tim Griffiths, England).

STADIUM ANNOUNCEMENT OF THE WEEK

"In the Carling Cup - Arsenal Schoolboys 3, Wigan 0."
Stadium announcer at Leicester-Yeovil game. (Jake, Leicester).

"This is for the owner of the Land Rover that moved his car from Chicago Avenue earlier because it was blocking a drive: it is now causing an obstruction in Sunnymead Avenue, so MOVE IT. Now. For the second time today. Thanks."
The Gillingham announcer is audibly unimpressed with this person's parking. (Steve, England).

BANNER OF THE WEEK

"Even in the credit crunch... Halfpenny goes a long way!"
Seen at the Wales v Canada rugby match in tribute to Wales back Leigh Halfpenny. (Hannah, Wales).



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see also
Review of the week
18 Nov 08 |  Fun and Games
Robbo column
14 Nov 08 |  Football
Chips off the menu for England
13 Nov 08 |  Internationals


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