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Page last updated at 12:42 GMT, Thursday, 13 November 2008

Sport quotes of the week

By Chris Charles

Arsene Wenger and Sir Alex Ferguson
Friends Reunited

"I'm very excited about this team because, and I don't know if the word exists, they are 'playerish',"
Arsenal's game against Man Utd is so good, Arsene Wenger makes up a new word.

"The game was fantasy football, playground stuff."
Sir Alex Ferguson accepts the swings and roundabouts of defeat.

"When people say 'Arsenal didn't fancy it', what didn't they fancy? Getting tackled from behind?"
The week doesn't start off quite so well for Wenger as he lays into Stoke.

"On a great day in American electoral history, I would like to remind him of Abraham Lincoln's great quotation - 'You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time. But you cannot fool all of the people all of the time'."
Stoke boss Tony Pulis gives the perfect - if somewhat unexpected - response.

"We’ve got a Mickey Mouse ref doing nothing."
Joe Kinnear crosses Martin Atkinson off his Christmas card list following Newcastle's defeat at Fulham.

"I wouldn't trust some of these people to walk my dog."
Roy Keane gives his views on TV pundits. Just say what you think, Roy.

"My mum's run off with the matchball for safe-keeping!"
Spurs striker Darren Bent after scoring a hat-trick against Dinamo Zagreb.

"I should have punched him harder."
Eric Cantona reveals the main regret about the infamous kung-fu incident at Crystal Palace.

"I am pulling him out of his share of the horse for that!"
Hull manager Phil Brown after seeing his mate - and racehorse co-owner - Jussi Jaaskelainen earn Bolton the points with an outstanding display at the KC.

"I know the manager, Dave Jones, really well...he would even let me stay at his house if I needed to - he told me I could mow the lawn."
Michael Chopra won't let the grass grow under his feet after arriving back at Cardiff on loan from Sunderland.

Joe Calzaghe and father Enzo
Come on dad, give us a whiff

"I've been chewing gum because Joe keeps trying to catch us out by smelling our breath...but whatever you do, don't tell Joe!"
Joe Calzaghe's dad and trainer, Enzo, on getting round the booze ban imposed by his son ahead of the Roy Jones Jr fight.

"I know the odd indulgence doesn't hurt players from time to time...besides, what can you do? Can you follow a player home to check if his missus is giving him steak and kidney pie for tea instead of pasta?"
Harry Redknapp - old school and proud of it.

"I kept the mask in my pants and it got a bit sweaty. People still call me Spiderman in the street, though, and I like it."
Newcastle's Jonas Gutierrez recalls the time he celebrated a goal for Real Mallorca by donning a Spiderman mask.

"I've almost got a beard."
Spurs defender Vedran Corluka on his vow not to shave until Tottenham lose.

"My wife Coleen's brother and his girlfriend stayed with us, so when we went to bed I had to stay on the floor. It was a bit weird - we'd just won the Champions League and I was going to sleep on the floor! But I don't think I'd have minded where I got my head down that night."
Wayne Rooney on being brought back down to earth after Man Utd's triumph in May.

"Did I climb? Cor, are you sure?"
Newcastle boss Joe Kinnear recalls the days when he coached the Nepal national team and flew over Mount Everest in a private jet.

"The way the game's going, we'll be playing with slippers on shortly and there will be no tackling whatsoever."
Dundee United manager Craig Levein hits out after Roy O'Donovan's straight red for a challenge on Falkirk's Gerard Aafjes.

"Can you go in leading with your studs? You can if you've got your slippers on."
Opposite number John Hughes can't resist a wee dig.

"He's a warrior, we're about to find out now, can he play chess?"
Sir Clive Woodward on whether England rugby union coach Martin Johnson can emulate the knight.


Steve McClaren
Hey, what are you shaying about my shtomach?

"The pit of Steve McClaren's stomach is not where you'd want to be right now."
ITV4 commentator during the Man City-FC Twente game. When would it be a good time to be in the pit of his stomach? (Peter Cooper, England).

"Look at Huddlestone in the quarterback position."
Martin Keown discussing Tom Huddlestone's position in the Man City-Spurs game on MOTD2. Wrong game, Martin!

"I wanna know more about the quarterback, Martin - you've created a new position!"
Host Adrian Chiles responds. (Shiraz, England).

"They have to beat the big sides and they have started with United but there is still the other three to go."
Lee Dixon on MOTD2 after the Arsenal game-Man Utd game. I know there's Liverpool and Chelsea, but surely the Gunners aren't playing themselves! (Chris Turner, Wales).

"Fernando Alonso is now coming on for Liverpool."
Commentator on BRMB radio in Birmingham. I always wondered what he did during the F1 close-season. (Tont, UK).

"I haven't got a clue how this game works!"
Tony Adams's analysis on his first win as Pompey boss. (Dan, Watford).

"No club on the planet is the finished article and we are no different."
Ray Wilkins after being asked about Chelsea's defeat in Rome. (Neil Blinston, USA).

"Free-kick to Arsenal...Anderson's protecting most of his private parts."
Heard on 5 Live During Manchester United v Arsenal. (Gurinder, UK).

"A rough tackle, oh no we have a shomozzle!"
BBC commentator during Hull-Bolton. (Matteo D'Alesio, Shrewsbury).

"This will probably be the last game on Match of the Day tonight!"
Wigan manager Steve Bruce after the 0-0 draw with Stoke. (Rich Cook, England). He wasn't wrong! Ed.

"After hauling in Cutler's final TD pass, Marshall, who spent the week exchanging barbs with Dolphins linebacker Joey Porter, was about to pull something out of his pants when team-mate Brandon Stokley ran over and stopped him from getting a possible personal foul."
Review on the official NFL website, on stopping the ever-increasingly bizarre endzone celebrations. (Nick Rafferty, UK).

Dwight Yorke
Robinho is smiles better than Yorke

"I'm impressed with his work rate. He works as hard as Dwight Yorke's toothbrush."
Fred Eyre pays tribute to Robinho on Radio Manchester. (Ginny Hadfield, Manchester).

"Rio Ferdinand wins a free-kick after a nudge by Luke Donald."
Martin Tyler gets his Donalds mixed up as Celtic's Scott McDonald helps his side to a creditable 1-1 Champions League draw against an under-par Manchester United. (Charlie Mullan, Hull).

"Klose! Not even Klose..."
SBS's Gary Bloom on Miro Klose missing a sitter against Fiorentina. (Adam, Australia).

"He is the full McCoy."
Steve Claridge extols the unexpected quality of Albert Riera. He should progress to become the real Monty later this season. (Dave Pendle, England).


"Adams was a Gunner
He'll never be a scummer
Redknapp did a runner
We're the Adams family.
Do-do-do-do (clap clap)..."
Pompey fans, to the tune of the Addams Family. (Jim, England).

"Oooh Nani, oooh Nani, you couldn't beat my granny, oooh Nani."
Celtic fans against Man Utd in the Champions League. (Mark, Scotland).

"Where are ya?"
Chanted by Rochdale fans at a very foggy Scunthorpe in the Johnstone's Paint Trophy. (Andy Foster, England).

Aussie RL fans: "Ozzie, Ozzie, Ozzie, Oi, Oi, Oi!"
England fans: "You've only got one song!"
Aussies: "You've only got one try!"
During England's 52-4 loss to Australia in the Rugby League World Cup. (Darren, Australia).

"You're supposed to have a neck!"
Middlesbrough fans to Craig Bellamy. (Luke Carter, England).

"You're just a wally with a brolly."
Man City fans to Steve McClaren during the FC Twente game. (Gemma, England).


"Today's attendance is 2,971, and for the mathematically-challenged, that is exactly 1,000 more than the year when Thistle won the League Cup."
At Firhill towards the end of Partick Thistle v Queen of the South. (Chris Mason, UK).


"Yes we can."
Seen before the Celtic v Man Utd game at Parkhead, following Barack Obama's historic victory. (Matthew, Surrey).


"Hot Cross Barnes."
Everton v Watford, 1984 FA Cup Final repeated on ESPN - classic. (Taufeeq Oldey, South Africa).

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see also
Review of the week
11 Nov 08 |  Fun and Games
Robbo blog
10 Nov 08 |  Football
Chips off the menu for England
13 Nov 08 |  Internationals

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