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Sport quotes of the week

By Chris Charles

Rory Delap
They're like buses, these throw-ins

"They score maybe one like that every two months and it is not like a penalty. It is a throw-in and we cannot get obsessed by that."
Arsene Wenger briefs the troops ahead of the Stoke game. Oops.

"I kept asking the guys 'Am I world champion? Am I world champion?'"
Lewis Hamilton is the last to know.

"Where's Timo? I want to give him a kiss."
Anthony Hamilton makes a beeline for Timo Glock, after his boy passed him on the final lap in Brazil to claim the F1 title.

"Welcome to hell."
Tony Adams gets just the reassurance he was looking for when putting in a call to Wenger on his first day as Portsmouth boss.

"I said, 'Are you scared? Because I'm coming for you!"'
Adams throws down the gauntlet to the Wenger boys, who currently appear to be scared of their own shadows.

"They would do really well. I'm sure they would get a point!"
Cesc Fabregas backs Arsenal's ladies' team against Spurs during an interview with Loaded, before tucking into a large slice of humble pie.

"I'm not going to waste any time answering him. I admire his history but recently he has gone a bit senile."
Real Madrid President Ramon Calderon turns up the heat on Man Utd boss Sir Alex Ferguson in the ongoing battle between the clubs.

"I'm going to a country where I'm adored!"
New Argentina boss Diego Maradona looks forward to his first game in charge - against Scotland.

"We even did a seven-a-side game on Tuesday where the punishment for missing the target was to take off an item of clothing. There wasn't anybody stripped bare but one or two were close!"
Motherwell boss Mark McGhee reveals the naked ambition behind his side's victory at Inverness.

"Twenty million dollars is a lot of money but it's not an enormous amount of money."
Twenty20 supremo Sir Allen Stanford is unfazed by the credit crunch.

"There were a few gobsmacked faces when it popped up on the big screen."
England all-rounder Stuart Broad describes the team's reaction to seeing Stanford sitting with Matt Prior's wife on his lap during the Super Series win against Middlesex.

The Queen
Hi Roy, how do I look?

"If they walk out on their heels, that's not good. I think you should jog out to training so I'll be looking out of my window. Hats and gloves - are they good? It depends how cold it is!"
Sunderland boss Roy Keane warns of complacency after his side beat Newcastle. They promptly lost to Stoke.

"Maybe I will now tell half a dozen players that I may sell them - maybe they will all start to play as well as Xabi!"
Liverpool boss Rafael Benitez on the stunning form of Xabi Alonso since his proposed sale to Juventus fell through.

"Their goals were just comedy. You'd probably win 250 on Candid Camera for that second one."
Crystal Palace boss Neil Warnock on his side's generous defending in the defeat by Nottingham Forest.

"I feel like Superman. I could fly home."
David Bentley after his supersonic strike helped Spurs to a 4-4 draw at former club Arsenal.

"It doesn't matter how late he was. If you're getting on a plane and you miss it by one minute, you don't go on holiday."
Wolves boss Mick McCarthy justifies dropping Richard Stearman for arriving late for a team meeting.

"Someone said he walks about like he owns the place, and I think if he's built a ground and has everything at a whim, then you can't be surprised if he feels as if he owns the place - because he does."
England's Graeme Swann on Sir Allen Stanford.

"I don't think the team should be called England. They should be called Kevin Pietersen's All Stars or the ECB Crackerjacks."
Bob Willis gives his views on the Stanford tournament.

"I was in the car with my dad and brother. A kid was walking down the road with a 'Walcott 32' shirt on. I put the window down and said 'I've got a shirt like that too'!"
Theo Walcott is living the dream.


"If you can't pass the ball properly, a bowl of pasta's not going to make that much difference!"
When asked if a change of diet had contributed to Tottenham's 4-4 draw at Arsenal.

Harry Redknapp
Funny old game

"I thought I was David Pleat as I was running up the touchline to celebrate - except I haven't got his colour shoes."
Recreating the famous Pleat jig at the Emirates.

"I haven't seen my missus, Sandra, all week. She might be delighted, I am not."
Putting in the hours at Spurs.

"I have already had around 84,000 text messages on the subject."
Portsmouth chief executive Peter Storrie gets plenty of advice on who should replace Redknapp.


"A couple of weeks ago there was a hurricane, Now it's blowing a Gayle."
David Lloyd commentates on the Stanford Twenty20 match. (Iwan Bowen Rees, Wales).

"England have had illness and injury all week, but I'm sure they'll get over it by Saturday. I'm dead sure the guys with stomach upsets would go out and play with nappies on if they have to."
Lloyd in the build-up to the 20m match against Stanford Superstars. (Randee, Barbados).

"Scott McDonald put Celtic 1-0 up with a 10th-minute header, before Shunsuke Nakamura doubled their lead at half-time with a pinpoint free-kick."
From BBC Sport's Killie v Celtic report. Are Celtic really allowed to score at half-time? (Chris Humphris, London).

"If you take out the shoulder-to-shoulder rule in football you just end up playing basketball... and then everybody can go to sleep."
BBC commentator during Man Utd-West Ham on another soft challenge given Nani's way. (Jas Singh, London).

"(Chris Gayle) has, literally, thrown the kitchen sink at him."
Andrew Strauss on 5 Live. Surely, even in a Stanford Twenty20 match, they have to stick with the fusty old cricketing tradition of using a ball? (The Nurdler, Herts).

"You score three goals at home, you win the game - you score three goals anywhere, you win the game."
Watford boss Aidy Boothroyd after his team lost 4-3 at home to Blackpool, in what proved to be his last game in charge. (Phill Cottam, UK).

Russian pursuit team crashes during World Cup
Me and my big mouth

"The Russians are winning this quite easily, but if they were to crash before the end, even in the last lap, and the Netherlands were oops whoa! And what have I said?! Straight away! My goodness me, I mustn't say things like this! That means the Netherlands will win the bronze medal! My goodness me, that is spooky."
Hugh Porter manages to forecast the impending crash of the Russian cycling pursuit team at the World Cup in Manchester. (Stephen F, UK).

"Lady Luck tried his best for Liverpool there."
The inimitable Steve Claridge gets his genders mixed up! (Jon Allsop, England).

"Sloppy, thats the only word to describe that pass...casual."
Andy Gray during the Arsenal-Tottenham match. (Gregg Lowrie, England).

"I'm a new stranger to them."
Newcastle boss Joe Kinnear speaking after the midweek win against West Brom. Aren't all strangers new , Joe? (Alasdair Howe, Scotland).

"Arsenal can wipe the floor with nine out of 10 teams they play, but struggle against the likes of Sunderland And Hull."
Alan Smith before the Arsenal-West Ham game. So maybe eight out of 10, then! (Ian, Wales).

"They've been getting in the right frame of mind, physically."
Former Windies captain Jimmy Adams before the Stanford Super Series final. (Alasdair Howe, Scotland).

"English soccer crowds are great, always cheering and singing.. no booing though, they'd never boo a player."
NFL commentator on Saints v Chargers game at Wembley. (Cameron Byrne, England). Ashley Cole might have something to say about that - Ed.


"Oh I'd rather have a monster than a wheel."
Inverness fans flaunt their superior tourist attraction at the Co-op Cup game with Falkirk. (Stanley Caledonian, Drumnadrochit). For those not in the know, the Falkirk Wheel is the world's only rotating boat lift - Ed.

"You're just a town full of rugby."
Heard in the Stretford End during Manchester United against Hull City. (Ollie L, England).

"You should have gone Christmas shopping."
Reading fans taunt Bristol City counterparts after going 4-0 up at Ashton Gate. (Jonny Williams, Reading).

"We want the orange ball."
Aldershot Town fans chanting through heavy snow during their home match with Port Vale. (Ben Blundell, England).

Good, but not quite Rory

"Who needs Robhino, we've got Delap's throw."
Stoke fans at Eastlands. (Matt, England).

"He is a midfield maestro, and his passing is so delightful, everyone wants to know, Alonso, Alonso, Alonso."
Sung by Liverpool fans To the tune of 'Let It Snow' when Xabi Alonso scored against Chelsea. (Matt Evans, England).

"John Carew, Carew. He likes a lapdance or two. He might even pay for you. John Carew, Carew."
Villa fans at Wigan. (Martin, UK).

"Chim chimernee, chim chimernee, chim, chim cheroo - Bentley from 50 and Lennon from two!"
Spurs fans to Arsenal after equalising to make it 4-4. (Danny, UK).

"You couldn't beat our ladies!"
Arsenal fans to Tottenham at 4-2 up. (Marco Gaspari, London).

"Myhill! In the middle of our goal. Myhill!"
Hull fans to the tune of Our House by Madness. (Michael Fynes, UK).


"Half-time and it's currently 0-0. Get ready to take out a loan for your pie and pint!"
Announcer at the Reebok. (James Bentley, England).

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see also
Review of week
04 Nov 08 |  Fun and Games
Robbo blog
03 Nov 08 |  Football

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