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Page last updated at 09:16 GMT, Tuesday, 23 September 2008 10:16 UK

Sport quotes of the week

Boo Weekley
Boo Weekley enjoys his Ryder Cup experience as he 'rides' his driver
"I feel like a dog someone stuck a needle into and juiced them up at a greyhound track to chase one of them bunnies."
The inimitable Boo Weekley with his take on the Ryder Cup.

"I have to put it on my sandwich list. If you see five cheeses next to it then he could be in, four tunas means four matches and chicken is three matches, lettuce is two. Lettuce begin..."
European captain Nick Faldo tries out his stand-up routine on the press after he tried to pass off a list of pairings as the team's lunch orders.

"Padraig Harrington has hit more balls in practice than potatoes have been picked in Ireland."
Another Faldo 'gag' falls flat.

"It was like a UFO had landed."
Watford boss Aidy Boothroyd has a close encounter of the absurd kind as linesman Nigel Bannister signals a goal to Reading when the ball had rolled the other side of the post.

"It was an absolute screamer, wasn't it?"
Reading's Stephen Hunt sees the funny side. Well he would, wouldn't he?

"After the game, we'll have some wine. I know he doesn't drink Portuguese wine because he did not have it with (Jose) Mourinho. I don't have any Brazilian wine. Maybe I need to have some French wine, South African wine."
Chelsea boss 'Big Phil' Scolari plans the post-match beverages for Manchester United counterpart Sir Alex Ferguson.

"After the game he was feeling a bit sorry for himself because he took a little knock. I am sure the injury would have felt a lot worse if he hadn't scored."
Sunderland manager Roy Keane shows typical concern for Michael Chopra's dead leg after the striker bagged a brace against Boro.

"I wouldn't swap him for anyone at the moment - except Pele."
John Carew's place is safe according to Villa strike-partner Gabriel Agbonlahor - unless a Brazilian pensioner comes a-calling.

Juande Ramos
Ramos is having a brilliant time at Spurs... honest
"I am delighted to be here at Tottenham. I'm having a marvellous experience."
Juande 'Comical Ali' Ramos is simply thrilled to be bottom of the table after the 0-0 draw with Wigan.

"I'm disappointed as Tottenham were there for the taking - even though we are just little old Wigan coming to such a big club!"
Latics boss Steve Bruce refuses to put the boot in.

"Let us just say I am above my usual weight - but that is normal."
Salad-dodging Ronaldo (the other one) on his prospects of becoming Man City's next big signing.

"He is a very good retailer, but at managing a football club, no."
Wigan owner Dave Whelan lays it on the line for Newcastle counterpart Mike Ashley.

"We got a decision at Anfield - incredible!"
Stoke boss Tony Pulis can't believe his luck after Steven Gerrard's pefectly good goal is ruled out and the Potters hang on for a draw.

"He's a smashing lad. If your daughter brought him home you'd be quite pleased."
Carlisle boss John Ward gets all gooey-eyed over midfielder Simon Hackney.

"My diet was sausages then, in no particular order, sausages, chips, sausages, toast, sausages, beans, sausages, cheese, sausages, eggs, and the occasional sausage."
So why is Marcus Trescothick nicknamed 'Banger'?

"The other guys didn't get the crowd involved enough. It is not up to captain John Lloyd - or me - to tell them to get the crowd involved. The players should be able to work that out."
British tennis number one Andy Murray doesn't mince words as he lays into his Davis Cup team-mates.

"I agree with what Andy's trying to say. But if I get too pumped up, I can then become flat."
Alex Bogdanovic would prefer the crowd to stay out of it.

AND SOME FROM YOU

"I touched many balls, I was very happy because when you touch many balls you enjoy, I enjoy."
Antoine Sibierski enjoys his Norwich debut rather a lot.
(Greg, UK)

"Meanwhile, you could turn the sprinklers on down the other end of the pitch. Put the under-8s on so they can entertain the crowd down that end."
Commentator Phil Gould during the New Zealand Warriors v Sydney Roosters match after the Roosters had spent 30 minutes camped in the New Zealand half.
(Ruairidh Calderwood, Australia)

Robinho
Robinho is the king of the 'legovers' at Eastlands
"Wonderful goal by Evans, made by Robinho. There must have been five or six legovers!"
BBC Radio 5 Live commentary as the fifth Man City goal against Portsmouth is scored.
(Neil Shaw-Smith, UK)

"Teemu Tainio limps off with a shoulder injury."
Paul Fletcher on the BBC Sport website's Premier League live text.
(Sam, England)

"He wouldn't say boo to a ghost."
Commentator during Barrow v Kettering match
(air_jnr, England)

CHANTS OF THE WEEK

"We play football with our feet, do-da, do-da."
Europe lose the Ryder Cup but win the battle of the chants at Valhalla.

"Boo ate all the pies, Boo ate all the pies…"
Europe fans pay tribute to Boo Weekley.

"Boo-S-A, Boo-S-A"
The Americans muster a reponse.

"1-0 to the Golden Boys."
After Tommy Smith scored the first legitimate goal in the infamous Watford-Reading match. (Neil Symons, UK)

"You stole my holiday."
Newcastle fans to West Ham fans after the demise of the Hammers' shirt sponsors, travel firm XL. (Nick Kane, England)

"We want seven."
Reading fans get demanding during their mauling of Sheffield Wednesday.
"We want one."
Wednesday's expectations are a little lower. (Jonathan, Reading)

"Who needs Robinho, we've got Felino."
Cambridge fans to new signing Felino Jardim. (Denton, England)

STADIUM ANNOUNCEMENT OF THE WEEK

"Would the owner of the Vauxhall, registration number..., please report to the nearest steward as you have left the hand brake off and it has rolled into the car behind you." Swiftly followed by: "Would the owner of the Ford Fiesta, registration number..., please also report to the nearest steward as yours is the one that has been hit."
From the Wycombe Wanders v Brentford game.
(Gareth Jenkins, England)



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see also
Who will win Sports Personality?
15 Jul 08 |  Sport Homepage


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