Sport quotes of the week

"And another thing..." Mayor Boris Johnson addresses the London handover party

"Ping pong was invented on the dining tables of England in the 19th century and it was called whiff whaff. Other nations - the French - looked at a dining table and saw an opportunity to have dinner. We looked at a dining table and saw an opportunity to play whiff whaff."
London mayor Boris Johnson on what makes Britain Great.

"London is the sporting capital of the world. I say to the Chinese and I say to the world: ping pong is coming home."
Johnson warms to his theme as London officially takes over as Olympic host.

"I thought these guys gave up on sport back in the 80s. Didn't Margaret Thatcher sell off all their school ovals to some Euro-Arab investment house to build gas processing plants and car parks or something? Aren't there more pools in Mt Isa than the whole of the United Kingdom? Come on, help me out here. Frankly I don't care where we sit on the tally as long as it's somewhere in front of those gappy-toothed sock and sandal wearing ********."
Sydney Morning Herald blogger John Birmingham seems to be taking it well as Great Britain beat Australia in the medal table.

"It was hard tonight but everything proved worthwhile. He was holding me, throwing me, it was horrible. Then his little gold teeth were munching me up. But I kept thinking, 'I want this, and I'm going to get it'."
British boxer James DeGale goes through the mill to earn middleweight gold in Beijing.

"Alright Dave? How's it going? I hear you done well down China last week."
Ruth Jones, Nessa in the comedy show Gavin and Stacy, greets Olympic silver medallist and Welsh compatriot David Davies.

"I'm chuffed. I won't lie to you."
Davies' response as he bids for a cameo in the BBC sitcom.

"The referee was too strict."
Cuban taekwondo coach Leudis Gonzalez offers no apology after Angel Matos responded to his disqualification by kicking the referee, pushing a judge and spitting on the floor.

"I don't train and train as hard as I've done for a silver medal. It's all about the gold or nothing."
Teenager Shanaze Reade after crashing out on the final bend of the Olympic BMX final as she attempted to overtake the leader.

"The only way I could win here is if the judges got knocked out."
Irish boxer Paddy Barnes isn't too impressed with the judging after failing to earn a point in his defeat by China's Zou Shiming.

"We know we have very few chances, but we have chances."
Spain's Ricky Rubio looks for positives as his side prepare to face the United States for basketball gold.

"I love what sportsmanship represents, the value of sports. Just win or lose. It's very fair. There's no class, you know. Everyone is equal. You're on your merit."
Sheikha Maitha bin Mohammad bin Rashid Al-Maktoum, a member of the United Arab Emirates' royal family, after losing in the first round of the women's under 67kg taekwondo competition.

"I just feel proud to come from there let alone have something named after me."
Double gold medallist Rebecca Adlington welcomes the news that the Yates's Wine Lodge in Mansfield will be renamed the Adlington Arms.

"Everyone wanted my autograph, the autograph of the father of the world champion."
Usain Bolt's dad Wellesley after being mobbed by enthusiastic fans at the Bird's Nest Stadium.

Ricardo Fuller lacks the moves of his mate Usain

"Usain's my good little friend. He's my nightclub partner when we are on holiday back in Jamaica and we go for a night out - although he's by far the better dancer, as you've seen this week."
Stoke striker Ricardo Fuller on best buddy Usain Bolt.

"Sometimes at our age we think we know everything and we don't know anything. That's the truth."
Cesc Fabregas admits he knows nothing.

"We are going to get amongst them and treat it like a cup tie, like we always do at Upton Park"
Harry Redknapp, manager of Fratton Park-based Portsmouth, gets his parks in a muddle ahead of the visit of Manchester United.

"If a player didn't want to play for me, I'd drive him myself to wherever he wants to go, just to get rid of him. I had a player two years ago when I got my job who I heard had been speaking to another club and I just sold him and said, 'off you go', and he went 'OK' and off he popped."
Sunderland boss Roy Keane has his own way of dealing with want-away players.

"This is the stage he belongs on, not playing for Durham in front of 34 people. He should be playing in front of 34,000, 40,000 or 50,000, that's where Steve Harmison belongs."
England skipper Kevin Pietersen after Steve Harmison returned to the England one-day side with two wickets.

"I'll think you find that bowlers have been doing things to the ball since cocky was an egg."
Australian legend Ian Chappell ridicules Marcus Trescothick for exclusively revealing that in the 2005 Ashes he aided the team's swing bowling by shining the ball after sucking on mints.

AND SOME FROM YOU

"What I love about this routine is whatever they do, they do exactly the same."
BBC synchronised swimming commentator doesn't appear to have got to grips with the point of synchronised swimming.
(Sam Warren-Miell, England)

"I know it was only sprinting, but it was so good".
Middle distance legend Steve Ovett on the men's 100m.
(Celia, UK)

"Well he now knows what a Mancunian toe sandwich tastes like. He'd probably have liked a bit of pickle on it, to take away the sour taste."
Taekwondo commentator after Aaron Cook caught his opponent with a kick to the head.
(Ian, Bristol)

"'Come on, give me the baton, give me the baton!' 'Nah, I won't give you the baton.' 'Why not?!'"
Michael Johnson on what might have been said between Darvis Patton and Tyson Gay as USA fail to finish the 4x100m relay. Again.
(Stephen F, UK)

"I could say that I practised it every day for half an hour, but only an idiot would shoot from there."
Bolton right-back Gretar Steinsson gives an honest verdict on his wonder goal against Stoke.
(Raj, London)

"I don't think we played badly but, at the same time, we didn't play very well."
Spurs assistant boss Gus Poyet.
(Nathan, Woking)

"'You always expect perfection though, don't you?' 'As a Scotland fan, I've never seen perfection'."
Comments between two radio hosts on BBC Scotland after the friendly against N. Ireland.
(Andrew, Scotland)

Maradona, Pele, Bambi... John Carew

"He's like a cross between Maradona, Pele and Bambi on ice."
Jeff Stelling on Soccer Saturday talking about Aston Villa's John Carew
(Rachel, England)

"Chris Hoy thinks that the day Chris Hoy refers to Chris Hoy in the third person is the day that Chris Hoy disappears up his own ****."
Chris Hoy, obviously, after being asked: 'What does Chris Hoy think of Chris Hoy?'
(Chris, N.I.)

CHANTS OF THE WEEK

"Did you judge the taekwondo?"
Crystal Palace fans after seeing the referee send off two of their players on the same day as some controversial taekwondo decisions in Beijing.
(Chris, Croydon)

"Na na na na na na na na na, Posse-Possebon, Possebon, Posse-Possebon!"
Man Utd fans serenade their Brazilian youngster to the tune of Baby Give It Up by KC and the Sunshine Band.
(Stephen, England)

"Are you watching? Are you watching? Are you watching, Lawrenson?"
Hull fans response to Lawro's relegation prediction when up 2-1 against Fulham
(Bry, Hull)

"You only score when we let you, score when we let you..."
Bristol Rovers fans as Hereford score a consolation in their 6-1 thrashing
(Chris, UK)

Have Your Say: Are there any funny quotes we've missed out?