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Page last updated at 12:42 GMT, Wednesday, 9 July 2008 13:42 UK

Quotes of week

By Chris Charles

Anna Kournikova
Justin who?

"Hate is a very strong word - I just despise her to the maximum level just below hate. I'm going to serve it right at the body, about 128 (mph), right into her midriff. If she's not crying by the time she comes off court then I did not do my job.''
Former player and senior ATP official Justin Gimelstob turns on the charm while talking about Anna Kournikova in a radio interview ahead of their exhibition match in Washington. And there's more...

"She is a sexpot."
Gimelstob on Tatiana Golovin.

"She's a little sexpot."
On Alize Cornet.

"She's a well-developed young lady."
On Nicole Vaidisova.

"There are fewer lesbians now because they're all Russian chicks. And there's some other cute ones out there."
On women players.

"She has a great body but her face is a five."
Gimelstob's delightful last word on Kournikova. He later apologised for everything.

"Getting to the players' box was scary...I was scared but equally I wasn't actually aware of what I was doing."
Rafa Nadal on his Wimbledon walkabout after claiming the title.

"I was almost playing in the parking lot. I almost needed a helicopter to go to my court.''
Second seed Jelena Jankovic has a strop after losing to Thai outsider Tamarine Tanasugarn on Court 18.

"You can't turn down a man challenge!''
David Coulthard turns up the heat on Lewis Hamilton after Jenson Button invited the young Brit to race against him in the Bath Triathlon to prove which of them was fitter.

"You saw at Euro 2008 what an offensive player Bosingwa is."
Chelsea chief executive Peter Kenyon takes exception to their Portuguese recruit.

5 Live's Holly Samos: "There has been an announcement that the British Grand Prix is moving to Donington."
Bernie Ecclestone: "Has there?"
Samos: "Yes, in the media centre. What do you think?"
Ecclestone: "The media centre's a good place to make an announcement."
F1 boss Bernie Ecclestone does stand-up at Silverstone.

"One day I found my bat taped to the ceiling. I took it down and scored a century. So I started taping my bat to the ceiling."
South Africa opener Neil McKenzie on his past obsessions.

Darth Vader
Delia, I am your father!

"I'm not prepared to put that sort of money into the club without having control. I don't mean becoming Darth Vader and toasting everybody, though."
Prospective Norwich investor Peter Cullum hopes the force is with him.

"I'm hoping to get a main draw wild-card and take down Venus or Serena!"
Teenage tennis sensation Laura Robson outlines her plans for next year.

"My husband is taking me out to dinner - probably Pizza Hut. I don't know whether Laura is going to come with us - she is 14 now, at that age when you don't want to be seen with your parents."
Laura's mum, Kathy, reveals she is just like any other teenager.

"I am going to a McDonald's - that's always my treat after I win or lose. I'll have cheeseburger and small fries. In the States I have a kids' meal but here I mix it up because I love curry sauce, which we don't have at home. It's my special treat."
The elegant Venus Williams and her interesting eating habits.

"I arrived at the airport and two policemen came up to me. One said 'I am a Liverpool fan, please, please take Ronaldo away from United.'"
Real Madrid president Ramon Calderon has the law on his side after flying into England to meet Man Utd chief executive David Gill.

"I feel as if I've been drowned."
Ian Woosnam after winning the Russian Open seniors title in the pouring rain.

"Yes! I am special! No, sorry...I am special for my friends and my family and my country. Not more. As a manager, so-so."
Big Phil Scolari announces his arrival at Chelsea.

"If I had to watch them play each other I would be a drunk. I just couldn't do it. It would drive me nuts. I will schedule a flight and maybe the captain will come down and tell me my daughter won."
Richard Williams knows it would be plane crazy to watch his daughters contest the Wimbledon final.

"He wants to stay at United."
Cristiano Ronaldo's big sister, Elma, finally clears up those rumours in an interview with The Sun.


Andre Nel
What do you mean, I'm crazy?

"Unsurprisingly, Nel is as popular with cricket traditionalists as naked wicket-keepers. He's also shelled out enough in fines to bankroll his own Twenty20 tournament."
BBC Sport's Tom Fordyce on Andre Nel. (Bhav Trivedi, UK).

"Graham Napier has already entertained us royalty."
Ian Ward between innings at the Essex-Northants Twenty20 quarter-final. I think he meant royally. (Jon Hunt, UK).

"We're like two molecules in a box."
Andrew Castle finds the commentary position he was sharing with Tim Henman surprisingly roomy. (Sam, UK).

"She's like a gazelle out there - the wingspan is unbelievable!"
John McEnroe on Serena Williams in the run-up to the Wimbledon ladies' final. (Nick Jones, UK).

"Now as we know, Lewis was on pole last year - can he go one better this year?"
From a Radio One bulletin about the British Grand Prix. (Buster Lightfoot-Brown, UK).

"Serena is picking her spots beautifully today."
Star Sports commentator remarks on Serena Williams' amazing acne-removal technique. (Chris Huff, Italy).

"Every player can serve over 125 miles."
Roger Federer on the frankly incredible serving power of modern-day tennis players. (Adam, UK).

"That went to SW20."
BBC commentator Simon Reed after Marat Safin smashed a ball out of Court One in his quarter-final against Feliciano Lopez. (Kenny Lomas, England).

David Coulthard and Lewis Hamilton at Silverstone
Hands up who needs a wee-wee?

"At my age I don't know whether it's because I've peed myself or because of the rain."
David Coulthard on being soaked to his boxers during the drivers' parade before the British Grand Prix. (Raj Chandarana, England).

"She cetainly has nothing to lose, you have to say that...that goes without saying."
John McEnroe commentating on Williams-Tanasugarn. (Steve, UK).

"Denny Hamlin rubs the rear-end of Kyle Busch."
Sky Sports' NASCAR presenter Keith Heuwen, speaking after a collision between two cars. (Nicky Jackson, England).

"He's not swearing, he's not throwing his racquet and that's what he has to do."
Greg Rusedski seemingly encouraging Andy Murray to lose his temper. (Scott Walker, England).

"And they're really going toe-to-toe from the baseline..."
Commentary for Nadal v Youzhny on 'Wimbledon Prime Time' in the US. (John Marsh, USA).

"There are a lot of players coming through from smaller countries; like Serbia and Russia."
Lleyton Hewitt discussing the lack of Australian tennis players. (Cheryl Romanova, UK).

"He's looking at everyone and no-one at the same time!"
John McEnroe on BBC1 during Andy Murray's fourth round comeback... go figure! (Martin, UK).

Tim Henman and Martina Navratilova
Great Scot! He could win this, you know

"The more games Murray wins, the more I can see him winning this match."
Tiger Tim Henman gives us his pearls of wisdom. (Daniel Fripp, Ireland).

"Both players are getting a feel for each other right now. Just getting a feel of the balls."
Greg Rusedski commentating on the the early stages of the intimate encounter between Nadal and Youzny. (Matt, Singapore).

"They have played seven points in this tie-break and Murray is leading 4-2."
Andrew Castle gets his maths wrong during Murray's tie-break against Gasquet. (Cameron Ponsonby, England).

"I was there many years, I signed as a 12-year-old and left at 32. So 22 years of your life is a long time."
Ray Parlour - loved Arsenal but obviously didn't have time for maths! (Mike Smith, England and several others). Great quote but in fariness to Ray it was actually one of those, ahem, extremely rare typos on our site which has now been corrected - Ed.


"Could the players playing football on court 14 please stop."
Heard at Wimbledon. (Katie Lockwood, England).

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see also
Cricket's craziest man
07 Jul 08 |  England
Review of week
08 Jul 08 |  Euro 2008
Robbo blog
07 Jul 08 |  Fun and Games

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