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Page last updated at 05:13 GMT, Tuesday, 1 July 2008 06:13 UK

Quotes of week

Maria Sharapova
Oh for tux sake!

"It's the tuxedo look. I was very inspired by menswear this year and every time at Wimbledon I want to do something classy and elegant."
Maria Sharapova on her latest 'fashion' item, before classily and elegantly leaving the tournament in round two.

"I have a wonderful white coat I can wear on the court and also in New York for those rainy's lady-like and goes perfect with my personality."
Serena Williams explains why she has taken to wearing a mac on court in the middle of summer.

"It's very pleasant to beat Maria...Why? Well, I don't like her outfit."
Alla Kudryavtseva on what spurred her to a shock victory over Sharapova.

"This girl that beat me today, she might not win the tournament but she beat me and it probably made her tournament."
Sharapova gives her version of events. Miaow.

"Someone said to me that I am still ranked higher than him - and I haven't played for nine months!"
Tim Henman on the 661st-ranked Briton, Chris Eaton, who pulled off an amazing first round win at Wimbledon.

"Maybe I will buy some better duct tape. No, I like my car. I think it's cool."
Eaton insists he will be keeping his trusty Vauxhall Astra, complete with taped-up wing mirror, despite earning more than 20,000 at Wimbledon.

"I personally don't care, but any attention drawn to tennis for whatever reason is good. If that means wearing the Mr Roger sweater, whatever else you have got, then so be it. I don't know if it would be a good look for me or any of my friends or relatives, though."
Andy Roddick's back-handed compliment to Federer and his Val Doonican cardy.

"You're calling me a veteran? Thanks for making me feel very old."
Senior citizen Jelena Jankovic, 23, after her victory over 17-year-old Caroline Wozniacki.

Keith Richards and Mick Jagger
Stone me, Roddick's out!

"You know, when you've seen the Rolling Stones from the front row and then all of a sudden you're like seven or eight rows back and there's a really tall guy in front of you waving his hands and screaming, you can't see much, it's not going to be as good as the other show."
Roddick can't get no satisfaction from his second-round defeat by Janko 'Tipsy' Tisparevic.

"I kissed the net because I felt so lucky. Someone upstairs made the ball roll over."
World No one Ana Ivanovic on the net cord that saved her on match point down to Nathalie Dechy.

"Maybe it is a good time for her to buy a lottery ticket."
Dechy concurs.

"People say I've lost my power and I'm shot but I've been to the fountain of youth and I'm going to come back and shock them all."
Michael Gomez ahead of the thrilling fight with Amir Khan on his 31st birthday. He lost.

"I guess the bumblebee got me off to a bad start."
Venus Williams, after a bee harassed her into losing her serve against Britain's Naomi Cavaday.

"I still don't fear anyone. The only things I fear in life are cockroaches."
Defending Wimbledon women's champion Venus Williams confirms she won't be taking up zoology after her playing days are over.

"Coach Frings would play player Frings in the starting line-up."
Injured victim Torsten Frings makes an unsubtle plea to start the Euro 2008 final for Germany.

"The trip to Upton Park was the one that stood out for me - I can't think why!"
New Blackburn boss Paul Ince anticipates the warm welcome he will get when his side face West Ham in the new season.

"If I'm going to give you a Maserati, it would be a good idea if you had a driving licence."
Uefa technical director Andy Roxburgh comments on Ince not holding a Pro Licence. Who needs qualifications when you're The Guvnor?

"I thought he was being a bit of a Drogba."
Paul Collingwood sympathises with Ian Bell after he injured his knee during a game of touch rugby.


David Pleat
Plavid Deat - legend

"Reminded me of Terry Sheddingham."
David Pleat getting spooneristic about Roman Pavlyuchenko during the Spain-Russia semi-final. (Alex Burton, Nottingham).

"Second to Ronaldo's proposed move to Real Madrid, it was perhaps the worst kept secret in football."
Brighton chairman Dick Knight gets ideas above his station on the re-signing of defender Adam Virgo from Celtic. (Brad, England).

"Torres looks hot tonight."
Jim Beglin can't control himself during the Euro 2008 final. (Patrick Shields, Australia).

"Well, Marcel may be bigger than me but I still disagree with him."
Martin O'Neill comments on Desailly's half-time analysis, claiming Spain had a poor first half. (Benni Sluckis, England).

"It is vital in a match like this that Chris remembers to breathe."
Commentator John Lloyd during the Chris Eaton-Dmitry Tursunov match. (Dan Greenslade, UK).

"Germany will always play like Germans."
Canada's TSN commentator Craig Forrest looking ahead to the Euro 2008 final. (Vu, Canada).

The General's foot soldiers?

"It's interesting that four years before that, General Frankfurt refused to allow his team to play in the Soviet Union."
Clive Tyldesley on Spain's European victory against the USSR in 1964. A decade or two after the fall of the Italian dictator Benito Marscapone, perhaps? (Jo, England).

"He looks a bull of a defender but I have to say he's playing like quite a cultivated bull at the moment."
David Pleat speaks a load of bull during the Russia v Spain semi-final. (Nigel Bayley, UK).

"Can you pick a winner?"
Commentator during the Ernests Gulbis-Rafael Nadal match as Gulbis' coach is pictured picking his nose. (Benni Sluckis, England).

"Safin wobbles at 15-30 but goes boom-boom like the Outhere Brothers to extend his lead."
BBC website commentator Tom Fordyce during Marat Safin v Novak Djokovic match. (Geoff Wildman, UK).

"It's a good thing for Milan because they need good players. If Milan have the possibility to take him to AC Milan that's a good deal for Milan."
George Weah on the possibility of some club or other buying Emmanuel Adebayor. (Dan French, UK).

"We just wet the bed. A nice big one, too. One of the ones you can't put a towel over. It was terrible."
Kobe Bryant after the LA Lakers blew a 24-point lead against the Celtics to go down 3-1 in game four of the NBA Championships. (Chris, Canada).

"It would be dangerous hitting that shot at home, especially if you didn't have any kids."
BBC commentator at Wimbledon talking about Rochus' shot through his legs. (Nic, Netherlands).

"WIMBLEDON: Britain's Katie O'Brien beaten in straight sets by Katie O'Brien."
From BBC Sport website news feed - British tennis has sunk to a new low when the players can't even beat themselves! (Tim Fry, Wales).

"Van Nistelrooy took a kick to the back of his shin."
ITV's Peter Drury during the Russia v Holland quarter-final. It must have made a mess of his calf. (Nigel Hewlett, England).

"I'm happy to be a role model for everyone, black, white, pink, yellow, purple, you name it."
Paul Ince at his Blackburn press conference, as he discovers a new set of racial groups. (Tom, Birmingham).

Hi De Hi actor Paul Shane
No, not Paul Shane

"Sergio Ramos, he is like Paul McShane on steroids, he is a headbanger."
RTE Ireland's legendary pundit, the one and only Eamonn Dunphy. (Alan, Ireland).

"It's not like he's going to run into the 18-yard box and hit it in from 25 yards".
Andy Gray on ESPN. (Rahul Parmar, USA).

"Thirty per cent of the black players in the Premier League are black."
Paul Elliott on Radio 5Live. (Darren, UK).

"He must have dropped back, but I don't know where, why, how or when."
Insightful commentary on Motors TV for the Le-Mans 24 hour race. (Andy Jenks, England).

"Right now it feels as though I have sold a Mercedes and am having to look at Ford Cortinas and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang."
Ilkeston Town manager David Holdsworth after selling his star striker, with not many better options available. (Mark, UK).

"I once knew someone who didn't have a pee before the race, so by the end he was so desperate that he was going really fast."
Charlie Cox during the Dutch MotoGP (Philip Craig, Scotland).


Motty: "Play has stopped here, because there isn't a ball."
Lawro: "Might make it a better game..."
During the latter stages of Italy v Spain. (Dave Armstrong, UK).

Motty: "If you've joined us late, you'll have missed our comment that on this date, the 22nd of June, Spain have gone out of three tournaments on penalties."
Lawro: "If you've joined us late, you were lucky."
During the same game. (Trevor Trotman, UK).

John Motson and Mark Lawrenson with Tony Blair

"Aragones should be in bed by now, shouldn't he? He's nearly 70."
Motty during Spain-Italy match. (Katie, England).

"I'm still wondering if that goal was down to luck or good fortune."
Lawro on Turkey's equaliser against Germany. Maybe it was fate instead. (Donald, UK).

"He should use his hands - that's always a good tip as a goalkeeper."
Lawro gives some advice for Jens Lehmann during Turkey v Germany. (Marcus Jackson, UK).

"I didn't hear the shot..."
Lawro after Bastian Sweinsteiger took a dramatic tumble in the Euro 2008 final. (Saj, Leeds).


"Alex from Tibberton, your wife called to say that she is fine and the airbag on the Mondeo definitely works."
New Road stadium announcer during Worcestershire's Twenty20 game with Northants. (Tim, UK).

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see also
Robbo column
23 Jun 08 |  Fun and Games
Review of the week
13 Jun 08 |  Euro 2008
Big Phil's best quotes
12 Jun 08 |  Football

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