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Page last updated at 05:24 GMT, Tuesday, 22 April 2008 06:24 UK

Quotes of the week

By Pranav Soneji

Joe Calzaghe celebrates his points victory over Bernard Hopkins
Calzaghe: No respect for elders

"My dad always taught me to respect my elders, but the old man's going to get battered on Saturday night for 12 rounds."
Joe Calzaghe talks the talk about 43-year-old Bernard Hopkins's fate ahead of their Vegas showdown.

"I'm a legend killer - I just finished B-Hop, maybe Roy Jones is next."
And true to his word, the Welsh Dragon walks the walk, albeit after a gruelling 12-round encounter.

"Look at my face, I don't have a bruise. I busted him up."
Hopkins is less than convinced with two of the three judges' decisions to award Calzaghe the victory.

"I won't repeat what I said when I realised. Let's just say I was gutted because sitting in a casino playing cards all day and night with a few beers is my idea of heaven."
Mark Williams on discovering the World Snooker Championship clashed with good mate Calzaghe's fight with Bernard Hopkins in Las Vegas.

"I bought [legendary US boxing writer] Bert Sugar a drink in Planet Hollywood, Enzo Maccarinelli was there, and I shook Roy Jones Jr's hand - you don't get that in Port Talbot!"
Calzaghe fan Gavin Reddy from Swansea observes the subtle differences between the Afan Lido and Las Vegas.

"I feel like I've just gone 12 rounds with Joe Calzaghe."
Peter Ebdon feels the pain after his 10-9 first-round World Snooker Championship win over Jamie Cope at the Crucible.

"People who nail us for it are not going to pay for my child's school fees in 15 years' time."
Kevin Pietersen attempts to justify why England's best cricketers should be smashing sixes in the lucrative Indian Premier League.

Kevin Keegan gestures during Newcastle's 1-0 win over Sunderland
"I said 500m Mr Ashley"

"People have asked who my favourite cricketer is and I'm like saying: 'Cricket?'"
Bangalore Royal Challengers' American cheerleader Jenny Zaleski knows all about the IPL.

"If Shane is the coach, who is going to be driving their team bus?"
Former Australia coach John Buchanan, now in charge of Kolkata Knight Riders, cannot resist a dig at long-term critic and Rajasthan Royals captain-coach Shane Warne.

"I told him: 'Aren't you lucky you bought Newcastle?' And he replied: 'There's at least 250m for you to spend in the transfer market this summer.' Or at least I think that's what he said."
Newcastle manager Kevin Keegan on owner Mike Ashley's promise to splash the cash this summer, or possibly not...

"Will someone please wrap Messi up? If he catches a cold it's time for our last rites."
Forget Henry, Eto'o, Gudjohnsen, Deco et al, Spanish daily El Mundo Deportivo believes there's no hope for Barcelona if Lionel is not lining up against Manchester United in the Champions League semi-final.


Bernard Hopkins after defeat to Joe Calzaghe in Las Vegas
Hopkins checks the Jolly Rogers are still in place

"That's my crotch - that's where he hit me and knocked my pirate outside of its cup."
From the BBC's coverage of Calzaghe-Hopkins. I could have sworn Hopkins said "privates". (Simon, Bristol)

"I'm sitting next to the most beautiful woman in the world. I think she must be famous but I don't know who she is."
BBC Sport's Ben Dirs in Las Vegas. (Reg Cowell, Ireland)

"They've got so much flower... firepower."
Mark Lawrenson on MOTD nearly claims that Manchester United are back in the 1960s. (Stewart Slaymaker, UK)

"Another goal for Portsmouth, 2-0 to Sven-Goran Eriksson's team now."
BBC Radio 5 Live commentator after Manchester City's second goal. Has Sven really been sacked and swapped dug-outs with Harry Redknapp? (Matthew Hammond, UK)

"We've created some unmissable chances and missed them."
Watford boss Aidy Boothroyd after his side's 2-0 loss to Crystal Palace. (Chris Humphris, London)

"Newcastle are assembling their wall which has so many players in it, it resembles a bar code."
BBC Radio 5 Live commentator John Murray during Newcastle's 1-0 win over Sunderland. (Graham, Derbyshire)

"Defeat at Parkhead the other night for Celtic and they would have needed Robert Mugabe to count the points if they wanted to retain their title."
BBC Sport columnist Chick Young on Celtic's fading title hopes. (Saadaab Janab, London)

A goldfish bowl
Just an average day at the Stadium of Light?
"Late Celtic winner stuns Celtic."
Headline from the BBC Sport website. Rangers must have been alright about it then. (Various)

"It is like being in a goldfish bowl, as it was when I was a player. As a chairman it's like that, except someone has stuck a blender in there as well. And switched it on."
Sunderland chairman Niall Quinn explains, in his own unique way, the pressures of the boardroom. (Rinda, Indonesia)

"Barry Hayles had a top on today that made him look like a traffic light. I don't know what the matter is with him."
Leicester City manager Ian Holloway on his striker's injudicious choice of clothing. (Todd, Kenya)

"Having looked at the line-up, I think they're going to play 3-5-3."
Sky Sports football expert Paul Merson doesn't do the math before Arsenal's home game against Reading. (Rob Endwinkle, UK)


Jean-Claude Darcheville claps the Rangers fans
Eddie Murphy's career has suffered since his Ibrox move

To the tune of Michael Jackson's 'Blame it on the Boogie':
"Don't blame it on Henry, Don't blame it on the injuries, Don't blame it on the referees, Blame it on Eboue!"
Heard at the Emirates among the season ticketholders during the 2-0 victory over Reading. (Darshan Brahmbhatt, Cambridge)

"Your just a fat Eddie Murphy!"
Celtic fans to Rangers player Jean-Claude Darcheville after a belly flop on the right wing in the Old Firm derby. (Jamie Bradley, Scotland)

"Bin Laden oooohhhhh, Bin Laden oooohhhhh, he's from the Taliban, he is a Derby fan, Bin Laden oooohhhhh, Bin Laden oooohhhhh."
A man with an Osama bin Laden mask brings great delight to the travelling Rams fans. (Ed Garnett, UK)

"He was awesome in the air tonight, his hair looked nice, Fernando."
Liverpool fans chanting, to the tune of Abba's 'Fernando', to Torres during the 1-1 draw with Blackburn. (Ben Chupeau, Wales)


"Half-time scores, Leicester 0 Colchester 0. But don't worry, even if they win 100-0 they're still going down!"
Southend stadium announcer knows how to cheer up the Roots Hall faithful! (Jon Walshe, England)

At the most recent home game of Kirkham and Wesham, who have just reached the FA Vase final:
"Tonight's attendance is 136 and we have 10,000 tickets for Wembley, but we can get some more if we run out." (Ross McAlpine, UK)

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see also
Chick Young's view
17 Apr 08 |  Scotland
Holloway column
18 Apr 08 |  Football
Newcastle 2-0 Sunderland
20 Apr 08 |  Premier League

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