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Last Updated: Tuesday, 29 January 2008, 12:03 GMT
Quotes of the week
By Chris Charles

Havant & Waterlooville players after the Liverpool game
Havant they done well?

"We were down at a corner in front of The Kop when they were singing 'You'll Never Walk Alone'. I was standing next to Gerrard and singing along with them. He looked at me like I was a weirdo!"
Havant & Waterlooville's Jamie Collins freaks out Stevie G during the FA Cup classic at Anfield.

"The first thing I said to Gerrard when he came on was 'Can I have your shirt?' but he said 'Sorry, the little man has already asked'."
Collins has a 'here's what you could have won' moment after losing out to Alfie Potter in the fight for Steven Gerrard's shirt.

"I got Carragher's shirt and he signed it. We had talked about putting all the shirts in a draw but when you get a shirt like that, it ain't going in no draw!"
Rocky Baptiste doesn't do the decent thing.

"My abiding memory of the night is Charlie Henry dancing like a big dope. Strictly Come Dancing? He was more Strictly Drunk Dancing!"
Havant's player-coach Charlie Oatway on the team-mate with two left feet during the post-match celebrations.

"Even my wife says I'm not very romantic."
Cardiff boss Dave Jones upon ending the FA Cup fairytale of Hereford, after doing the same to Chasetown in the previous round.

"The only way we will get into Europe is by ferry!"
Newcastle boss Kevin Keegan realises it won't be plain sailing this season.

Sven-Goran Eriksson
The balloons must die!

"We asked the fourth official to tell the referee to stop the game and take away the balloons - or kill them."
Manchester City boss Sven-Goran Eriksson shows his sinister side as a bunch of balloons scupper his FA Cup dreams at Bramall Lane.

"Leicester almost committed manslaughter on Scowcroft."
Crystal Palace manager Neil Warnock confirms football is a dangerous game.

"...somewhere between the ball hitting my gloves and the ground."
Australian wicket-keeper Adam Gilchrist reveals the moment he decided to quit Test cricket, after spooning a catch off VVS Laxman.

"It's nothing too technical, all you have to do is catch the ball. And when I'm batting, if I see it, I hit it."
Phil Mustard on the technicalities of being a wicket-keeper-batsman.

"I've always said if you get out of bed the right side then you've done most of the hard work, but me and my missus like to go to the pub at the weekend. I've had to stop binge drinking and eating after 10 O'Clock at night."
Stephen Lee reveals the new 'fitness' regime that saw him reach the final of snooker's Masters.

"It is just like when a woman says no to you. It makes you even more determined to get them."
Watford manager Adrian Boothroyd enjoys the chase with Fulham's Collins John.

"I haven't seen that. I don't know anything about it. I don't know what you're talking about."
Arsene Wenger amazingly doesn't see the handbags between Emmanuel Adebayor and Nicklas Bendtner during the 5-1 defeat by Spurs.


Man City keeper Joe Hart stamps on the ballons
City felt deflated by Shelton's goal

"I dreamed about scoring in the FA cup as a kid. Trust me to have my thunder stolen by a few balloons."
Luton Shelton reflects on his bizarre FA Cup goal for Sheffield United against Man City. (Craig Robbo, Sheffield).

"I've never seen a goal like that before, the ball changed direction and the balloons played a one-two with Michael Ball."
The balloons showed too much skill for Sven's defence to cope with on the day. (Jamie Arkle).

"If it was up to me I'd ban them."
Chris Waddle gives his verdict on those pesky inflatables on 5 Live. (Dan Walsh, England).

"They can be heroes, just for Juande."
BBC commentator during Man Utd v Spurs in the FA Cup. (Tim Allard, UK).

"He clearly puts his balls to the hand."
Iain Dowie commentating on Michael Dawson's sending off for handball at Old Trafford. (James, Lincoln).

"He's got his hands up like a Dutch windmill saying 'Feed me!'"
GolTV Commentator Ray Hudson on Ruud Van Nistelrooy. (Kailyn LeAnne, Kentucky, USA).

"At the moment the only shock of the Cup looks like coming at Pride Park, where Championship - er - Premiership Derby are a goal down to Preston."
Jeff Stelling gets about four months ahead of himself on Soccer Saturday. (Philippa, England).

"I know it's not enough to have just one point from two games. We now have only one hope and that is the Ivory Coast and God......."
Berti Vogts, Nigeria coach. That is two hopes, surely? (Martin Belam, Greece).

"If a player plays well, he will stay in the team. Even if I sign Samuel Eto'o, Akinbiyi will still play on Saturday."
Burnley boss Owen Coyle on Ade Akinbiyi's good form - although Eto'o couldn't play anyway because he's at the Africa Cup of Nations. (Abduly, UK).

Mark Viduka (just over 6ft)
Oops, I seem to have shrunk!

"Keegan only has to walk into a dressing room and those players will feel six feet tall!"
Pundit on Newcastle's Metro Radio. A whole six feet, eh?(John Heslop, England). I'd take 6ft - Ed.

"It's a shame a player like Adebayor walks out on the pitch without a brain, that he leaves it at home."
Nicklas Bendtner's father, Thomas, on Adebayor after their bust-up. (Chris Peacock, Cook Islands).

"My next fortnightly column for the EDP will appear in a fortnight's time."
Neil Doncaster, Norwich City's Chief Executive on the EDP website. (Tom, UK).

"Nadal tried to hit Tsonga in the nuts with that ball but somehow he managed to get some wood on it."
Jeff Tarango on 5 Live Sports Extra during Nadal-Tsonga at the Australian Open. (Mike Corten, UK).

"No one in their right mind listens to me."
Alan Green questions the sanity of 5 Live's listeners during the Everton-Chelsea Carling Cup semi-final. (Jack Hazzard, England).

"East Stirlingshire never looked like grabbing a goal for their small band of fans in the 34,000 crowd, but were spared a hiding at Ibrox."
The BBC match report describes the Rangers-East Stirlingshire match. I think I would call 6-0 a hiding! (Daniel Jacobs, UK).

Lassana Diarra
If you've gotta go, you've gotta go

"He left for one reason only, because he wanted to leave."
Arsene Wenger on Diarra's departure from the Emirates. (T-Dog, UK).

"No disrespect to Blackburn, Newcastle and Sheffield United, but Tottenham deserve to be higher up the table."
Paul Merson's analysis after Spurs destroy Arsenal in the Carling Cup semi-final. What have Sheffield United got to do with it?! (James, Ireland).

"The fans wanted a win, and we absolutely stuffed them!"
Dimitar Berbatov doesn't mince his words when it comes to beating Arsenal. (Painy, Gazette).

"Benitez isnt so much a dead man walking as he is a wounded man bleeding."
Setanta Sports commentator following the Liverpool-Villa game. (Arvin Lingeswaran, England).

"We have to take it on the chin. It is a kick in the nuts."
Swindon Town midfielder Lee Peacock needs some anatomy lessons. (Phil, Switzerland).


"Can we play you every week?"
Havant & Waterlooville fans when 1-0 up at Anfield in the FA Cup.

"Are you Swansea in disguise?"
Havant supporters after going 2-1 up (they beat Swansea in the previous round). (Andy Jones, England).

Havant fans wirth banner
Who will we get in the next round?

"You're just a small town near Havant!"
Plymouth fans to Portsmouth in the FA Cup tie at the weekend. (Sean Rake, England).

"We pay your sponsorship!"
Financially-aware Arsenal supporters to Newcastle, sponsored by Northern Rock. (John Stanton, UK).

"One-nil, to the Arsenal."
Gunners fans after going one up against Newcastle in the FA Cup.
"Five-one, even Jenas scored!"
Newcastle fans reply, referring to Arsenal's 5-1 defeat by Spurs. (Richard Tallett, UK).

"Feed the Hare and he will score!"
Aston Villa fans to Marlon Harewood. (Tom Wilks, Mid Wales).

"We've got wood, we've got wood, we've got wood!"
Sung by Worthing fans after two and a half thousand tons of wood washed up on our seaside last week. (Brad, Worthing).

"Vera's dead, Vera's dead, Vera's dead!"
West Ham fans away at Man City following the death of the character Vera Duckworth in Coronation Street. (Sean, Brighton).


"Attention please. Congratulations Mr X, you have just become a father."
Heard at Mansfield v Middlesbrough on Saturday. Now that's commitment! (Sam Vardy, England).


The Benny Hill theme tune.
Lincoln City announcer as the Dagenham & Redbridge players came out for the second half. (Stuart, England).


"One DIC is better than 2!"
Spotted at the Liverpool-Villa game, referring to the interest from Dubai International Capital. Hilarious!! (Richard Morris, UK).

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