Espana's most wanted
"An average cinema actor living in Hollywood."
How Real Madrid president Ramon Calderon described David Beckham in January.
"The fans love him and I would be delighted if he remained at the club."
How Calderon described Beckham this week.
"This is the best feeling I have ever had. You cannot compare it to sex. But you know? I would say it is better than sex. It is!"
Lewis Hamilton on securing his first pole position at the Canadian Grand Prix.
"The fame side is not something I particularly enjoy but it was cool to meet Sir Jackie Stewart and it was wicked to meet Beyonce."
Young Lewis gets star-struck.
"One word changed the context of the whole article, a word which I didn't say."
Michael Vaughan's ill-advised attempt to claim he did not use the word 'Fred-alo' in his comments about England's World Cup demise to a Guardian journalist.
"All the quotes that are in the newspaper are on the tape."
Unfortunately for Vaughan, Guardian journalist Donald McRae, who wrote the piece, had evidence to back up
You've got to hand it to him
"My goal? With the hand? It doesn't matter."
Lionel Messi after using the 'Hand of God' to score for Barcelona in the 2-2 draw with Espanyol.
"People in Denmark hate me, but I have no feeling yet what the reaction in Sweden is, other than they of course believe I am an idiot."
The Denmark fan who attacked referee Herbert Fandel during their European Championship qualifier with Sweden. The Swedes were awarded a 3-0 win as a result.
"It was a 1,000-1 chance the ball hit the exact spot to break my chin strap - and just bad luck the helmet flew in the direction of the wicket. I was out in the most bizarre fashion of my career, I have never seen anything like it before."
England batsman Kevin Pietersen, who was out in the third Test against the West Indies when his helmet hit the stumps.
"To go 280 yards is a little bit crazy, but this? Wow!"
Ernie Els on the par-three eighth hole at Oakmont Country Club, which has been lengthened from 250 to 288 yards for the US Open.
"I'm only 5ft 6ins, but you feel like Gulliver when you go to Mexico!"
Ricky Hatton, who is changing his name to 'The Manchester Mexican' for his fight with Jose Luis Castillo.
"I feel like I've been a couple of rounds with Ricky Hatton."
Coronation Street star Bruce Jones (Les Battersby) after being sacked from the soap.
AND SOME FROM YOU
"Yeah, 100 per cent. His balls are fantastic."
John Terry, when asked if Beckham could still contribute to international football after his move to LA Galaxy. (Phil, England).
"It's a shame about the beaver, although it must have had it in for me!"
Anthony Davidson on his unscheduled pitstop at the Canadian Grand Prix after hitting a beaver on the track. (Aidan, UK).
"Martin Brundle has done his pit walk for the day and Kimi Raikkonen has done his interview for the season."
Comment by Steve Rider during the Canadian Grand Prix after Kimi responded to Martin's "Can we have a word?" with a firm "No". (Rob, England).
Don Johnson - legend
"Great news! Don Johnson is in the crowd, and for my money that outdoes Antonio Banderas from the other day. I wore espadrilles to a school disco in 1987 because of Don Johnson, and I wasn't alone."
Piers Newberry gets excited about seeing who we all consider to be a true legend during the Federer-Davydenko match at the French Open! (David Sweeney, Liverpool).
"England should hang their hands in shame."
Former Test star Dominic Cork has some strange ideas about what people should hang in shame.
"It was well bowled, except for the fact it was a no-ball and went for four."
Geoffrey Boycott on the good ball that cost five runs. (Tiz, UK).
"And I have no idea who that is!"
Said by tennis commentator in the Nadal-Djokovic match when a random woman came up on screen standing on a ladder! (James, England).
"He's been captain of Newcastle over the last couple of seasons and he's exactly the type of player that I wanted to bring in."
Alan Curbishley on Scott Parker - who was only actually Newcastle captain for one season.
"I'm not sure about Steve Harmison practising on the square, he could practice on the moon and it wouldn't make any difference at the moment."
Jonathan Agnew on TMS.
What did you think he meant?
"A chap stands in the crowd and waves his sword around!"
Agnew with another lapse in concentration during the cricket. (Daniel Grey,
"The bowler's got something in his eye - probably tears."
Agnew shortly after Jerome Taylor dropped a simple catch off Dwayne Bravo. (Derryck Shewan, UK).
David Lloyd: "They're real vicars."
Ian Botham: "What with diamond earrings?"
David Lloyd: "That's a lady!"
Ian Botham: "Is it?!"
Botham has trouble distinguishing the male and female supporters in fancy dress at Trent Bridge.
(Stuart Hunt, Derby).
"That was one of those deliveries that you either hit or you miss."
Sir Viv Richards amazes us with his depth of analysis on Five Live. (Chris Huff, Bologna, Italy).
"You can only score against the team you're playing against."
David Platt proving he's as shrewd as ever on Sky Sports (England v Estonia). (Max, England).
"They're on the same wavelength, just not the right one."
Robbie Slater, commenting on a mis-timed pass from Recoba to Forlan during the Australia-Uruguay match on Fox Sports. (Thomas McDonald, Australia).
"And that'll finally be a yellow card for Pekarik. He could have been booked three times already. Actually no he couldn't, Graham Poll's retired! Sorry Graham, couldn't resist..."
Sky commentary in the England Under-21 match.
(George Quin, England).
You've got to laugh
"All you have to control 22 players is a whistle and two cards.....sometimes three."
Graham Poll looking back on his 'finest' hour. (Adam, England).
"Plenty of fancy dressers in today - cavemen, Batman, a load of blokes dressed up as npower girls. Oh look, there's a fella dressed in a fat suit and eating a butty...wait a minute, sorry, it's Jade Goody..."
Ben Dirs on live cricket website commentary for the BBC. (Will, Essex, UK).
"It's not that I don't know my way around, I was practising in the nets because I fancy a bat against your bowlers."
Geoff Boycott tells a West Indian colleague why he was late arriving in the commentary box. (Liam Braddock, England).
"He should get a yellow card for his haircut."
Commentator after an Australian player was sent off in the Murrayfield Sevens. (Chris George, England).
"Michael Owen is Liverpool through and through. He bleeds red."
Comment by pwixy190 On the 606 messageboard about Michael Owen's rumoured move to Liverpool. (Will Phillips, UK).
"I am almost 100 per cent certain that we have reached agreement with one - and 99 per cent certain with the other."
Scunthorpe United manager Nigel Adkins on potential signings. (Craig Walton, Sheffield).
"He spoke more to me in 80 minutes than my wife has for the last 10 years." South Africa captain John Smit on England hooker Mark Regan. (Ian Chard,
"The crowd are thinking 'What's going on? Should have had another creme brulee'."
Eurosport commentator when Lleyton Hewitt was being thrashed by Rafael Nadal in the first set of their game at the French Open.
(Aaron Pan, Scotland).
"335 days since his last England game and Goldenballs comes bouncing back - blimey, if he wears anything less we might see them too!"
Gary Lineker in the build-up to England v Brazil when David Beckham was wearing just a pair of shorts. (Neil, UK).
"He said he would take Leeds United out of the Championship when he arrived - and he has. I just thought he meant up!"
Gerard Krasner, the ex-owner of Leeds United, when asked if he regretted selling out to Ken Bates on Radio 4's Today programme.
(Tim La Touche, England).
England's greatest double act?
"We are both two good players."
Steven Gerrard pressing his and Frank Lampard's claim to occupy the entire England midfield. (Thelo Clarke, England).
"Crouch will be the holding striker and Michael Owen will be feeding off his balls..."
Comment on Five Live. (WoodenBen, England).
"The England fans have sat and watched for the first half... Now they're giving them the clap."
Graham Taylor on Five Live, at the end of the second half against Estonia. (Gordon Buxton, UK).
"The game was won in the first 20 minutes, even though we didn't score."
Steve McClaren after England's 3-0 win over Estonia. (Ben Norton, England).
"Kink could keep playing all day and all of the night."
BBC Radio Five Live's Mike Ingham during Estonia v England. (Adam G, UK).