Quotes of the Week

Another three points in the bag

"It doesn't matter what happened in the game - we got the three points."
Wayne Bridge gets confused after winning the Carling Cup final with Chelsea.

"Would I do it again? I will have to have a look at it because I don't want to pay him extra to be a stadium announcer!"
Watford manager Aidy Boothroyd on allowing injured Marlon King to give a pep talk to fans over the tannoy before the Wigan game.

"Many great managers have never won the Champions League - a big example is not far from us."
Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho reminds Arsene Wenger there's only room for one Special One in London.

"I was sat in the Arsenal dugout and didn't see it!"
Wigan boss Paul Jewell puts on his Wenger specs when asked to comment on the dodgy penalty won for Newcastle by Antoine Sibierski.

"I dislike him and I think he dislikes me!''
Stephen Maguire doesn't mince his words after beating Shaun Murphy at snooker's Welsh Open.

"People are only comfortable with gay people in certain roles. If they're doing your hair or taking your cup before landing at Luton, it's acceptable."
Former NBA Star John Amaechi, who recently revealed that he was gay, claims homophobia is rife among sports fans.

"With normal mathematics, minus 80 is minus 80. It's not on the surface, it is 80 miles below water - and to survive so deep is normally very difficult."
Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger gives his opinion on Chelsea's £80m losses.

Oh no, not another ball to kick

"I don't like kicking the ball a lot."
Jonny Wilkinson reveals some shocking news - although to be fair he never looks like he's enjoying it.

"Although I am not a vain person I believe I am the best."
Mr Modest Ronaldinho leaves Steven Gerrard in no doubt as to who is the king of football.

"It sounds mad but it's a quiet group and it has probably been the best week we've had together laugh-wise."
'Nutter with a putter' Craig Bellamy on the 'bonding session' that helped Liverpool to a 2-1 win at the Nou Camp.

"I've had occasions when I've opened the papers in trepidation and nothing has been in them and I'm amazed."
Sheffield United manager Neil Warnock on the perils of letting players go on a night out.

"If I score against Porto I don't know whether I will celebrate or cry."
Chelsea's Portuguese star Ricardo Carvalho ahead of the Champions League clash. He needn't have worried.

"If you're a crash bang wallop merchant you might not see the good things in Thierry Henry."
Stuart 'Psycho' Pearce shows his softer side.

AND SOME FROM YOU

"Raphael Ibanez won't know if he's in Paris or Porthcawl after that."
BBC commentator Nick Mullins after an Alix Popham tackle - France v Wales Six Nations. (Noel, Newport).

"As you know, China is a communist state and you have to conform. Owen is a non-conformist. I gave him a copy of Das Kapital and he thought it was a guide to the capital cities of the world."
Dunfermline manager Stephen Kenny after Owen Morrison's move to China fell through. (Brendan Croft, Scotland).

I won't be getting far in this coat, Mark

"He looked like he was wearing your coat over the last 10 yards!"
Mark Lawrenson to John Motson following Stephen Hunt's lung-busting 80-yard run into the Man Utd half during Reading's FA Cup tie. (Leo Duke, Edinburgh).

"Opera performer Martin Toal will be signing on the Valley pitch from 2.40pm on Saturday."
This extract from the Charlton website shows they are getting a bit desperate in the relegation battle. (Tim Kitching, UK).

"The problem with Arsenal is they are conceding far too easily at Highbury."
Graham Taylor appears to be a year behind times. (Jules Wallis, England).

"As you can see, global warming hasn't quite reached Newcastle."
Channel 5 commentator during a chilly Uefa Cup night at St James's Park (Tim Kitching, UK).

"A bit of pushing and shoving between Deco and Mohamed Sissoko. It is like a terrier picking a fight with an alsatian, but in this instance the terrier comes out on top as the alsatian is booked. Obviously dogs don't get yellow cards in the park. Just go with the flow on that one."
Charlie Henderson commentating on Champions League for BBC website. (Adam Oakley, Scotland).

"Alonso and Sissoko have been picked to literally sit in front of the back four."
Jamie Redknapp on the Liverpool midfielders taking it easy for the Champions League game against Barcelona. (James, UK).

"On the line is over."
Brian Moore commentating on England v Ireland at Croke Park. (Mel Murphy, England).

Any excuse to get them on the site

"That's cannoned off ball."
Commentator on Man City v Preston. (Daniel Sutcliffe, Colne).

"Of course, sometimes you just get caught up in the euphoriarism of the match."
Alan McNally invents a new word while commenting on Fabio Capello's apparent enthusiasm for Real Madrid. (Mark A, England).

"I can't count the number of times I've seen him being literally invisible tonight."
Archie Macpherson describing Celtic player Shunsuke Nakamura against AC Milan. (Andrew Rennie, Scotland).

"They've got a draw here, you can't get better than that."
Alan Hansen on Reading's draw with Man Utd. (Chris, UK).

"Maybe the best way to beat Arsenal is to try to beat them."
Complex tactical advice for teams playing Arsenal from Spoony on 606 after Wigan's late loss to the Gunners. (Aidan, Scotland).

CHANTS OF THE WEEK

Oops he did it again

"Are you Britney in disguise?"
Charlton fans to bald ex-Charlton player Paul Konchesky during Charlton's 4-0 win over West Ham. (Tommy Blanche, England).

"Are you watching Tottenham?"
Chant from PSV fans in the 90th minute against Arsenal. (Neil Blinston, USA).

"The referee's a w*****!"
Exeter fans after a bad first-half performance by the referee.

"The referee's a legend!"
Exeter fans after the ref awarded them two penalties in the second half. (Ben Samuel, UK).

"We've got our Willy back."
Arsenal fans at the home game against Blackburn, re Gallas's first appearance for a while. (Adam Davies, UK).

"Dennis Wise, he's 4ft 3, he's got the teamsheet, and so have we!"
Cardiff fans before kick off against Leeds. (Ben, Cardiff).

"Let's talk about Cesc baby, lets talk about Flam-in-i, let's talk about Theo Walcott, Freddie Ljungberg and Henry, let's talk about Cesc."
Arsenal fans, To the tune of Salt and Pepa's "Let' Talk About Sex." (Nathan Upton, England).

"Who needs Mourinho? We've got Justinio."
Hull KR fans salute super Justin Morgan after winning for the second time in Super League. (Andie Riley, Leeds).

"We support our local team."
Reading fans to Man Utd at Old Trafford. (Neil W, UK).

"They tried to make us to go to replay, we said no, no, no! Yes we've played crap, but when we come back you'll know, know, know!"
Manchester United fans after Reading equalised in the FA Cup tie (to the tune of Amy Winehouse's Rehab). (Mona Moussa, UK).

"You're Not Fit To Referee!"
Preston Fans to Phil Dowd after he was forced off injured while refereeing PNE v Norwich. (Ben, UK).

"You're just a small town in Scotland!"
Bristol City fans away at Middlesbrough. (Ken Atkinson, England).

"He's got no hair, but we don't care, Martin, Martin, Jol!"
Spurs fans during the FA Cup clash with Fulham. (André Torgersen, Norway).

Have Your Say: Are there any funny quotes we've missed out?