Teething problems for McClaren?

By Derek 'Robbo' Robson The Tees Mouth

Click audio on right to hear full interview.

It'll be all white on the night

Hey Robbo, how are you? What about Steve McClaren then? He takes you to your first European final, then announces he's clearing off to do the England job.

What about his teeth, first of all? They're definitely a shade whiter than they were a couple of weeks ago. I reckon that's the influence of Max Clifford.

Anyway, McClaren's done well at Boro this season, although it doesn't seem five minutes ago that someone was trying to stuff a season ticket in his gob.

But I have to say I don't think he's the right man for the England job. I think the national team needs someone with a bit more welly.

McClaren seems a nice enough fella and he's a good coach but a lot of people are saying he's a natural number two, if you catch my drift.

I kind of know what they mean - he's more of a lieutenant than a general and England need a general. But it's done and dusted now so we need to put up and shut up and hope he does OK.

You could see the players having a lot more say under him than they would have with Scolari.

Yes - and you know what happens when the players have a say - David Beckham plays as a footballing quarter-back and we get beaten by Northern Ireland.

You need someone to tell them what's what, which is why I suggested Mourinho in the first place. I don't particularly like the man but I think he'd make a fantastic international manager.

Eenie, meenie, minie, mo

McClaren was only third or fourth choice in some people's eyes.

Well I think the FA secretly put all the candidates' numbers into Brian Barwick's mobile phone on speed dial, and asked him to pick a number between one and five.

It's all been an absolute shambles, as I've said about 18 times in the last few weeks.

---

Indeed. But of course the really shattering news was about Wayne Rooney and the dreaded metatarsal.

It's sad for everybody for him not to be in the World Cup, not just England fans.

Shankhamala Khan in India agrees. He wrote in to say: I am really shattered. It's a real nightmare for England. Every one of us in Calcutta thought this would be Rooney's World Cup and are keeping our fingers crossed for the GEM BOY.We Love Rooney.

Well that's very nice to hear. I'd like everybody across the world from different faiths to pray to their respective gods that Rooney recovers. I've already gone through a few different ones - I'm on to Thor and the Norse lot now.

Leave it to me old son

Colin Johnson emailed in to say why not play Joe Cole up front with Michael Owen?

Well that's a good option and of course it creates a nice gap which could be filled by the most creative left-sided midfielder in the country.

That wouldn't be Stewart Downing, would it?!

Yes it would. But what I'd go for is Carrick in front of the back four - or Ledley King if he recovers from, guess what, a meta-bloody-tarsal injury! And you've always got Peter Crouch on the bench if we run out of ideas, which we usually do.

---

Another comment now from David in the USA, who says: You didn't hear of these metatarsal injuries in the 1920s when they played in miners' boots with steel toecaps. Perhaps these new-fangled boots are the culprits.

My dad used to have the boots with the steel toecaps. And David's right, you didn't have metatarsal injuries back then - you just had your shin bone snapped in two. It's all very well looking back nostalgically at those days but they weren't that pleasant, according to the old man.

These new boots, though, I can't wear them. They don't look like football boots to me.

Anyone fancy a kickabout?

They're more like ballet shoes.

Exactly - and who wants to play football in ballet shoes? You want a bit of protection. Of course the boot manaufacturers say there's nothing wrong but I think we need to look into it.

What's your gut feeling - do you think Rooney will play any part in the World Cup?

Well let's not give up hope - we've got the best midfield in the tournament if nothing else.

---

OK. Now finally, Andrew in England with a word about the snooker. He says: It was not boring - it was enthralling. It seems to me that if you don't understand something, you say it is boring. The solution is either try and understand, or shut up.

Listen mate, I'm the best theoretical snooker play in the world. It's only when I get a cue in my hand that I struggle. It WAS boring - it was the least enjoyable game of snooker I have ever seen, including watching my dad play my grandad.

They don't make 'em like they used to

Barry Hearn's tournaments have a 25-second clock and if you don't play your shot within that time you lose the frame.

That is spot on. It's snooker, not chess - get on with it. It must have been more enjoyable watching Ray Reardon and Eddie Charlton.

I gave up in the end - to quote Alan Shearer, I had a fence to creosote.

Right Robbo, we'll have to leave it there.

Ta-ta, son - Up The Boro!

Have Your Say: Do you agree with Robbo?