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Last Updated: Monday, 10 April 2006, 11:11 GMT 12:11 UK
Quotes of the week
Jose Mourinho
Mourinho refuses to get in a flap

Don't forget to send in the quotes we've missed.

For me, pressure is bird flu. I'm feeling a lot of pressure with the problem in Scotland. It's not fun and I'm more scared of it than football.
Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho insists his side won't catch a cold as Man Utd continue to breathe down their necks.

I didn't hit the ball like I was 46. But I putted like I was 66.
Fred Couples on being let down by his putting after looking a good bet to become the oldest winner of the Masters.

I putted atrociously. I am probably going to snap this putter in about eight pieces.
Tiger Woods is slightly more annoyed about his own failings on the greens.

It would have been a great week if we could have turned the scoreboard upside down!
Spaniard Sergio Garcia after finishing second from bottom in the Masters.

It was a crazy experience, you don't normally have someone shooting at you. I think he was full of Jack Daniel's.
US Ryder Cup captain Tom Lehman is shot at in his car as he drives to pick up his family from the airport.

He didn't incite the crowd - we plan to report the 4,500 people who called him a fat b******.
Sheffield United boss Neil Warnock defends goalkeeper Paddy Kenny, who celebrated the Blades' winner against Hull by raising his arms to the opposition fans.

Roger de Courcey and Nookie Bear
So about this Newcastle job...

The only people we've not paid are Roger de Courcy and Nookie Bear - and by the time Freddie Shepherd makes up his mind we'll probably have seen some money for them too.
Ladbrokes spokesman Robin Hutchison on the number of candidates that have been backed to be Newcastle manager.

The best way of stopping him is to lock him in the dressing room.
Bath coach Brian Ashton joins the Carlos Spencer fan club after the Northampton stand-off inspired The Saints to a 24-21 win over Ashton's side.

I didn't open my eyes until 20 yards after the winning post! I am a coward, but a lucky coward.
Bernard Carroll, owner of Grand National winner Numbersixvalerde.

My nine-year-old son feels more Scottish than anything else at the moment so we have to go back to Sweden.
Former Celtic striker Henrik Larsson on why he is leaving Champions League semi-finalists Barcelona to return to his homeland with Helsingborg.

I won Wales' bachelor of the year - I jumped from number 41 to number one. Catherine Zeta Jones, Charlotte Church - I'm interested, definitely.
Commonwealth 1500metres freestyle champion David Davies reveals one of the many perks of his higher profile since his triumph in Melbourne last month.

London bus in front of Big Ben
Football - what football?

We are going to visit a great city in London, which my wife and I prefer to Turin.
Villareal president Fernando Roig seems more interested in the sightseeing than the football after learning his side will be playing Arsenal in the Champions League semi-finals.

It is 10 past 11 on my watch. It is funny when somebody asks me how long is to go on a Saturday. I just wanted a reminder that when I get ideas above my station, how football can kick you in the guts.
Celtic manager Gordon Strachan, who has just led his side to the championship in his first season, continues to wear the watch which stopped during the embarrassing 5-0 Champions League defeat to Artmedia Bratislava back in July.


AND THE QUOTES WE MISSED:

We conceded two quick goals over there, and we're capable of doing the same at home.
Middlesbrough's Steve McClaren ahead of the Uefa Cup quarter-final second leg.(Dennis Zanetti, USA).

And the score is nil-nil just as it was at the beginning of the game.
Mike Ingham about 10 mins from time, second leg Juventus v Arsenal. (Paul, England).

Bordeaux's champagne country,isn't it?
David Pleat commentating on PSG v Bordeaux. ((I assume he thinks Champagne is bordeaux country?! Stephen, UK).

If Arsenal score here (with the score at 0-0), they will have the advantage in this match.
More wonderful insights from Graham Taylor during Juventus v Arsenal Champions League match. (Patrick Le Bas, England).

By the time you read this we'll have had a scan on Fabregas. His foot blew up after the game and that's not the best sign.
Arsene Wenger on Fabregas's 'explosive' foot. (Fraser Sorensen, England).

He had it on a plate, he had the sausage, bacon and eggs on it as well, but he couldn't take it.
Chris Kamara gets a bit excited summing up a missed chance during the Fulham-Portsmouth game. Ross Forgan, UK).




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