Sporting Valentines

By Chris Charles

As you settle down to a romantic dinner tonight, spare a thought for the partners of the Arsenal and Liverpool players.

Their Valentine's Day 'treat' will consist of watching their loved ones hoof a piece of leather around.

For the starry-eyed lovers who can't be there in person, there's always a card - so just what will our sporting aces be writing to their special ones?

Post your sporting Valentines on the 606 message board

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Jose Mourinho to himself
Boro are red
Chelsea are blue
They gave us a hiding
But I still love you.

Steven Gerrard to girlfriend Alex
I do love you, la
But I really despair
When you spend all me money
On clothes you don't wear

Freddie Flintoff to wife Rachel
You've given me one child,
There's one on the way
But the lads have all asked
If you can hang on till May.

Robbie Fowler to Liverpool
You were my first love,
Of that there's no doubt
I'll get you a goal
Before the year's out

Big Dunc to Mrs Ferguson
They're all out to get me
I swear that it's true
But at least I can spend
The next month with you.

Sven to the FA
Thanks to that sheikh,
You gave me the 'sack'
When I win the World Cup
You'll come running back

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AND HERE ARE SOME OF YOUR EFFORTS!

From Fergie To Jose
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You may be the chosen one
But you won't beat Man U!
(Dean OwnzU)

Alan Hansen to Mark Lawrenson MoTD.
I sit next to you for most of the season,
I listen and watch you, the way that you reason,
I always wait with bated breath, to hear you say: "Great strength and Depth"
(Chris.EFC, Tranmere)

To the "British" Ladies Curling team
Ladies we love you
In you, faith we're keeping
But what you call "sport" is just
Ironing, and sweeping!!!
(Dave Smith, UK)

East Stirling 4 Eva
East Stirling are great
East Stirling are bril'
One in the net
And we're down one-nil
(East Stirling 4 Eva)

Ode to Arjen
The honeymoon's over with Robben
At diving he's the don
There's only one guy who wouldn't knock him out,
And his name is Harrison
(Harry, UK)

Robben To Reina
Sorry for that dive I took to the floor
Everyone thought my acting was poor
I ended up with not even a bruise
But landed a role in a film withTom Cruise
(PC Kopper)

Iain Dowie to Andrew Johnson
You know we love you AJ
To you we are devoted
But you'll never play for England
Until we get promoted.

Martin Jol to Spurs fans
I'm building you all a team for the future here
And may even make Champions League this year
But if we do an Everton (or get crippled with debt)
I'll have to raise my hands and shout "Schtop!! It isn't ready yet!"
(Jon Traquair, London)

'Appy 'Ammers Roses aren't red
They are claret and blue
Sixth in the table?
We love you Pardew
(A very happy hammer, Belgium)

Ice Cold Sven
Oh Sven, you're as cold as a Swedish night
But I love you with all my might
Because you will lead the greatest team of them all
To win the World Cup and add to our haul
(Sam Wright, England)

Mandaric to Lowe
Saints in Red
Pompey in Blue
Come next month
We'll be joining you
(Nathan Clarke, England)

Fowler fan
We love you Fowler
You are the best
But when you're on holiday
You look fat in your vest!
(Liverpool fan, England)

Ode to Shearer
He has no skill he has no pace
He has a swinging elbow thats a bit of a disgrace
But a legend he'll be forever to me
(John Bould, England)

Brighton fans to Mark McGhee
Love lasts eternal
Though the wheels may be off,
Who can score for us?
We need Hasselhoff
(Dave Worthing, Eng-er-land)

Jose the Messiah
Jose oh Jose you are a mesiah
Your team is hotter than a burning gas fire,
I wonder what gives you such great desire
To take your team higher and higher
You don't need a reason, you are the messiah!!!
(Huw Evans, Wales)

Alex McLeish to himself My love for the Gers is so blind
And Mr Murray he is so kind
And as for Celtic I wouldnt mind
I just wish I wasnt 21 points behind
(Liam Wilson, Scotland)

Frank Rijkaard to Jose
I think i love you Jose,
With your wit and filmstar looks
But your handsome face can't hide the fact your team's a bunch of crooks.

Credit to you, Jose,
You play the long ball well,
But with Ronny, Etoo and Messi back
You've got no chance in hell!
(Kristof, England)

Two Hearts Beat as One
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Romanov pics the team
And Rix cleans the loo
(Calum Maltman, Scotland)

Peter Crouch to Sven-Goran Eriksson
I try to catch your eye
By not being too fancy
I may not have the looks
But I'm taller than Nancy
(Andy Jackson, Scotland)

Ode to Rio
Man U are the greatest,
Especially Rio,
I'd like to drive him to paradise,
In my Renault Clio!
(Emma Stokes, UK)

Steve Bruce to his board
Defences so frail,
Impotent to score
I hope you still love me
Beyond the trap door
(Robbie C, England)

Arsene Wenger to everyone
Roses may be red
Violets may be blue
I don't know for sure
I didn't see the incident
(Ronald Gland, N Ireland)

Eddie 'The Eagle' Edwards to the snow
I love you oh white stuff
So please lend a hand
And give me a soft spot
Where I can crash land.
(Thom, Lancaster)

Souness to Newcastle
I really miss you
In your black and white
I know I'd still be there
If I wasn't so sh***

Rooney's Ode to Coleen (I helped him with the spelling)
Coleen you mean the world to me
You make glad to be alive
The only bad thing about you girl
Is that you're under sixty five

Barton to City
I'm sorry about what I did
Requesting that transfer was a bummer
I guess I'm just a stupid kid
Now I'm stuck here till the summer (All from: Im_Trifan_Ivanov)

Arsenal love-hate
Arsenal in red,
Sol Campbell's feeling blue,
Pires is a cheat,
And Reyes is too
(From: Geordie Bravo)

The Boumsong confession!
Sorry boss
I never play well
I cost 8.5m
What's left to tell?
(From: Dan 1286)

Sunderland board to Mick McCarthy
C'mon Mick, we know you're feeling blue
but the entire board still stands behind you
...however, lose the next game McCarthy
and it's time for a new manager's welcoming-party !
(From: Axeslammer)

Thierry Henry to Arsenal.
I love it here
I really do
But come next year
I'll be in red and blue
(From: Olive Varadi)

Bryan Robson to his players
My Baggie Boys
I love 'em to bits
But I was sick as a parrot
When Fulham hit us for six
(Tony O'Hagan, UK)

Sky Blues ode
Coventry City climbing higher
Thanks to Micky and his team
Lets hope we beat the owls
And watch all the Cov fans beam!
(Pindy Sidhu, England)

Hey hey Mr Postman
Postie Postie Do Your Stuff
Take my love to Ibrox
'Cause they are all in a huff
(Tricia MacKay, Scotland)

Beloved Spurs
A champions league spot is all that we yearn
But my beloved idols from the Lane...when will you learn?
When Arsenal drop points we must make our move
Enough of these last minute goals that leave us subdued
(Once_A_Spur_Always_A_Spur, Florida)

We love you Spurs
Arsenal are red
Spurs white and blue
Oh what a season
We're now better than you!
Trewy, UK

Ode to Sunderland
At last we've reached double figures
Wasn't that a great trick
But if you think it's like Bo Derek in "10"
Then you're really taking the Mick!
Bruce, U.K.

Jose Reyes To Arsene
Sorry Arsene for the cheats and the lies
For playing at Highbury there's nowhere to hide
Cos I'm not a footballer, of that you can tell
I'm in fact a maitre'd and my name is Manuel
Marvin Cole, UK

Ode to Shaun Wright-Phillips
Shauny p
5 foot 3
Left Man City
For a substantial fee
Many said he¿d cruise
But he failed at the Blues
And he's so small and cuddly
Its hard to watch him lose
Ric Nuttall, UK

Have Your Say: Send us your sporting Valentine's day poems